My Apprentice Prediction–Time to Eat Crow

I was at the finale for “The Apprentice” tonight at the Hollywood Bowl. Due to some bizarre cases of dumb luck, I ended up in the very front row, in the dead center seat. Yesterday I made my prediction of how the evening would go.

“Nicole is adorable, and if she has a Jewish twin sister I would marry that woman. However, she is quick to show her vulnerability, and might be too fragile for the job…perhaps. If I was wife hunting (actually, I am), Nicole would be a fabulous choice…but this is a job that requires a certain fight…I am not sure she has it. James is a nice guy, has great energy, but might be bouncing off the walls. I wonder if he is too independent to be part of such a structured organization. He has few weaknesses, and could win. The other woman is smart and competent, but she is so non-descript that I cannot recall her name. She has been flying under the radar. She has made no enemies, and no major mistakes. However, I am not sure she has stepped up when necessary either. She is qualified, but is not “the best of the best.”

Let’s face it. None of these candidates are Randall, but then again, not many people are. He is in another stratosphere. However, the goal is not to be the best ever…just the best this season. I am for this reason rooting for Frank. I am a Brooklyn guy, Frank is a Bronx guy. It is the same thing. Like Joe Pesci in “My Cousin Vinny,” Frank is a fighter in the boardroom. He was almost fired in the first episode, and lucked out that Martin was his opponent. He outdueled Heidi (who very well could have been the best of the bunch). Heidi seemed to be made of Teflon, but Frank simply would not give an inch. Trump may love book smarts, but he clearly admires Frank’s street smarts. Albert Einstein was a genius, but the kid on the corner playing “3 Card Monty” is the kid I want to hire. Everyone knows it’s a crooked game, and they play anyway. That is salesmanship. Frank is rough, unpolished…and tough enough for the job. He should win in a tough fight.”

Frank was the first one to go. The non-descript girl turned out to be Stefanie, and she won. If you are going to be wrong, be completely wrong. My main criticism of her was that she was “under the radar.” Hey, I am not a radar detector. Her point that she was never brought into the boardroom by anyone, and nobody had a bad word to say about her…valid points indeed. Although the job of Apprentice is an individual, Stefanie was an excellent teammate. She and James simply did a better job than Frank and Nicole according to Mr. Trump (I disagreed, which is why I am a spectator. I misjudged that as well). As for the other contestants, I got to meet them myself.

Given that I have no connection or interest in the entertainment industry, I was surprised to be in the front row. I was even more surprised to be on stage afterwards. Heidi is as confident and self assured as she appears, and sadly enough is taller than I expected. Tim is an incredibly nice guy. I told him that even though he did not win the job, he won Nicole, which would matter a lot in the long run. He agreed. I met James and his wife, and I told them they had great kids. I told Carey that even though I am heterosexual and he is not, I agreed with him that guys should be totally comfortable wearing pink. He laughed, and we both agreed life, even in the boardroom, should be fun. Surya and Aaron were both nice guys, and very personable.

The only thing I got right was my assessment of Nicole. She is beyond adorable. I told her in front of her friend that if she has a Jewish twin sister, I know 100,000 guys including myself who are interested. She laughed and said she could always convert. Tim needs to marry this woman immediately.

I met several past winners and near winners. Alla is a fiery Russian, who almost won one year. I told her my favorite Russian story, and she liked it. I chatted with Kendra, and she was very nice. I spoke with Randall for several minutes. He is every bit as impressive as he comes across.

Trump’s right hand man George is a likable curmudgeon. I told him he was even tougher than Mr. Trump in the boardroom, and he responded he was just “telling it like it is.”

As for Mr. Trump himself, I met him and spoke to him for maybe 30 seconds. I thanked him for cleaning Rosie O’Donnell’s clock. Somebody needed to do so.

I managed to do something that none of the candidates got to do…sit in Mr. Trump’s chair. There were still a lot of people on stage, and I made myself comfortable. I even pointed towards some of the defeated candidates, and said “I’ll give you a second chance.” They thanked me, as I acknowledged that my gesture, despite sitting in the chair, was meaningless.

Lastly, I got to meet Stefani. I told her that I had her picked fourth, and I would be honored if she checked out my blog so she could see me eat a healthy heaping of crow. She looks like this delicate little flower, but she is a fierce litigator and a karate student. The biggest mistake anyone can make is to underestimate someone else just because they are quiet. The only thing keeping me from totally feeling foolish is that 17 other contestants overlooked her as well.

It was an enjoyable evening despite my predictions being dead wrong. I look forward to another season of The Apprentice.

Now if only Nicole (dreamy sigghhhhh) would convert to Judaism and…

Oh well…perhaps next season.


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