Republican SEX scandals

I wish I was a liberal. Yes, I said it. I am a conservative republican, and I wish I was  a liberal. That way I can get entangled in as many sex scandals as possible with no consequences.

First of all I want to make something crystal clear. There is nothing funny about sex with under age citizens, or even pursuing it. Mel Reynolds is in jail, and Mark Foley resigned in disgrace, as he should have.

Secondly, I do not condone adultery. As Ted Koppel stated, “The 10 commandments are not the 10 suggestions.”

Having said that, it is unfair that republicans have to be held to higher sexual standards. If I was a liberal, I could just be expected to have no moral boundaries, and be free to run wild like a drugged out hippie (redundant, I know).

As a single male, there is nothing wrong about wanting to sleep with every hot republican Jewish brunette that conflicts with my also wanting lower taxes and dead terrorists.

The following is a conversation that I never had, because I value money and want to avoid getting slugged.

“Ms. Finch, you did an excellent job on this report. Well done.”

“Thank you Eric. Is there anything else?”

“Yes, Ms. Finch. I really want to paddle your hide. I know it is a sensitive area in more ways than one, but I want to play table tennis with your backside until you are red raw. Oh, and after that, I need to see paperwork on the new account we are seeing next week.”

I am not implying that to do the above behavior is appropriate, but to think about it should be fine. Republicans are so conditioned to be straitlaced that we are pegged as boring. Family values are for families, but why should single people be straitjacketed?

Also, for those claiming the above scenario is sexual harassment, how do you know Ms. Finch is the subordinate? Isn’t thinking that sexism? She could be the boss.

I thought about this when Spree at Wake Up America interviewed Melanie Morgan.

http://wwwwakeupamericans-spree.blogspot.com/2007/09/exclusive-interview-with-melanie-morgan.html

She did an excellent job with the interview, but I never could have done that interview. Melanie Morgan is smart, republican, and hot. She would think I was an imbecile within 5 minutes, especially if my first question was a marriage proposal.

After seeing her picture, I was determined to have a Morgan before bed. I could not convince Melanie Morgan, so I decided to settle for Captain Morgan. I figured if I finished the entire bottle, I would not be able to tell the difference. Actually, I don’t drink, but I need an excuse for my behavior pattern.
I know a gorgeous republican Jewish brunette who has experimented with some mild “girl on girl” action. I can talk to her about Nicholas Sarkozy and Angela Merkel, but why should that stop me from admiring her physically and wanting to be reincarnated as a pillow that she hits her friend with? When did lust become only acceptable with liberals?

Senators are soliciting prostitutes. So what? Whether it is gay or straight, they are guys trying to get laid. Again, forget they are married. If they are single, how is that different from a surf and turf date? Does any woman in her right mind really think that a guy takes her out to steak and lobster so we can hold hands? We have an agenda, and that involves using our teeth to claw through your underclothing. This does not mean we would do so without permission, but within the laws of decent society, we have every right to make an attempt.

For the Milli-Vanillionth time, one can respect women and want to sleep with them. One can respect a woman’s mind while wanting to devour her body. Men are hunters, women are the hunted, and we have every right to adhere to the laws of nature and biology.

There is nothing in the republican party platform that says that men have to be repressed until we go crazy.

Bill Clinton lied under oath. That was my objection with him. He should have just gone on television and said, “I can’t help it. It ain’t nothing but the dawg in me. I bounced her like a volleyball, and I might do it again.”

So where is the line? Well Juanita Broderick, if believed, was a rape victim. That is totally not acceptable anywhere, ever. Letting them die in a river like Ted Kennedy did is certainly unethical. Yet fear of approaching a woman out of desire? Are we that puritanical?

We are all flawed. We all make mistakes. Yet republicans are seen as pious, and therefore, hypocritical.

Some say the war on drugs is lost, and others argue the same for the War on Terror. They are wrong. However, let’s declare the war on sex lost. We can kill drug lords and terrorists. Sex cannot be killed. It is too powerful. It will always be there.

Rather than trying to humiliate every politician that tries to play paint belly with a hot woman, why not simply accept this as normal? If the guy is married, it will be his fault when his wife gets the shotgun and exacts Texas Justice. Actions have consequences.

Larry Craig is being forced to resign. Why? For being gay? Isn’t that gay bashing? Jim McGreevey and John Corzine put their lovers on the payroll. Yet only McGreevey resigned. Wasn’t Corzine’s sexual crime just as bad, even though it was heterosexual?  David Vitter is not being pressured to resign. Is it because his prostitution was heterosexual?
Why is a 535 member club filled with drunk drivers, tax cheats, and other reprobates so puritanical when the issue is sexual?

Rape is wrong. Sexual harassment is wrong. Prostitution is legal in some parts of America. Doesn’t it seem strange that Senator Craig was arrested in Minnesota for a crime that would not have been a crime in certain parts of Nevada? Perhaps if Harry Reid let loose, he would actually smile. That dour look on his face is probably due to his frustration at attacking every republican less repressed than he is.

I will never preach family values, and when I get married, I will still live by them. Until then, I want my taxes cut so I can have more money to spend on women who will dance provocatively in my condo like Tawny Kitaen in Whitesnake’s “Here I go again.”

Should my being a conservative republican mean that when I was in college, I should not have found Barbara Boxer a hot piece of (redacted) just because she was a liberal? Flaming fiery liberals are kinda sexy. It doesn’t mean they are right about taxes or Iraq.

We should stop focusing on sex scandals, because sex itself is not a scandal. It is a privilege. Either members of the republican party defend their right to go buck wild, or we will all end up either repressed or worse…liberals.

eric

26 Responses to “Republican SEX scandals”

  1. GunnyG says:

    Check my blog for the answer to the GOP’s problem.

    http://noliberalspin.townhall.com/Default.aspx

  2. GunnyG says:

    SPEAKING of liberal scandals, Her Thighness Shrillary’s bundle money buddy has most likely skipped to China.

    California businessman Norman Hsu, a former New York apparel executive and major contributor to Democratic candidates and causes, failed to appear for a bail reduction hearing Wednesday, leading to speculation that he again is a fugitive from the law, FOX News has learned.

    I wonder WHO paid the judge not to force him to surrender his passport!

    Shrillary probably told him that if she gets elected, he can buy a pardon from her like Marc Rich did from Ol Zipper!

  3. spree says:

    Thanks for the link and LOL at the marriage comment. Good piece.

  4. GunnyG says:

    If they violate their marriage vows, then what ELSE are they compromising on? I agree, if they’er single, boink away. If they’re married, that’s a different story. As a person who has a security clerance and has been in the intel industry for a long time, once you are COMPROMISED, you’re toast.

    Craig compromised himself by the impropriety of his actions. He lied (picking up toilet paper) and he tried to hush it up by pleading guilty.

    Leaders MUST hold themselves to a higher standard or why should WE? Athletes and celebrities get over all of the time. Politicians do it too. So WHY should WE obey laws THEY DO NOT!?

    Laws and mores hold a society together like glue. Either EVERYONE follows them or no one does.

    Like Oprah apologizing for Vick, stating that his “culture” is responsible or some crap like that. He committed crimes Oprah. And not real nice ones either.

    I guess NO ONE is responsible for their actions anymore in America.

  5. Jersey McJones says:

    The GOP does this to itself. Living by super-human standards just isn’t realistic. If you’re gay, you’re gay. When Craig made the comment, “I’ve never been gay,” that, in my opinion gave him away. My “gaydar” went right off the meter. He doesn’t even understand, I truly believe, that he is gay. He is suffering from sever cognitive dissonance, incapable of dealing with his homosexuality, and therefore himself, and therefore reality. He must be a deeply troubled man. Jim McGreevy was known to have been gay for years, actually. Most non-Jerseyites don’t know that. My wife and I knew a retired cop central Jersey (McGreevey was a mayor and state senator from that area. He said it was widely known among state employees in that area that McGreevey regularly frequented gay bars (not airport bathrooms). His own party covered it up because they wanted him to be governor and were afraid the people of NJ (especially South Jersey) wouldn’t vote for a “gay American.” McGreevey’s big mistake was appointing an unqualified lover to a very sensitive post (HLS). So, he resigned – not for being gay, but for apparent conflict of interest and possibly even succumbing to some kind of blackmail. Corzine did appoint a girlfreind, however she seems quite qualified for the post. That’s the difference there.

    Then there’s Franks. Franks said he didn’t know what his boyfriend was up to. The law concurred, the voters concurred, and Franks remains in office – he’s also quite open, and quite respected on both sides of the aisle. He is considered one of the most bipartisan members of the House. And here is the partisan difference…

    Many Democrat voters don’t care if whether a pol is gay, or has a libido in overdrive, or is soft on moral, religious, or cultural issues. This can be said of most liberals, like myself, libertarians as well. We just don’t care. As long as you don’t let it get in the way of your duties and promises, we just don’t care. This problem is not one of partisan moral credulity, it is simply the voters. Conservative voters often have a big problem with moral issues, liberal voters do not. It is a cultural matter. When the GOP decided to partake in the “Southern Startegy” and bring on the old Dixiecrat and flyover voters, they took moral issues upon themselves. Now, they’re stuck with them.

    JMJ

  6. micky2 says:

    I think the difference between Vitter and Craig would be the slaeve factor, as a friend of mine put it.
    If I walked into a public mens room with my 12 year old boy and he caught a glimpse of a couple ( couple anything) going at it, I would have every right to bitch.
    But what are the odds that anyone is going to walk in on a person marrried or not having a private liason in a hotel room ?

    I’ve been to lib sites that are using the whole Craig scenario to portray republicans as anti gay.
    Gay is not the crime, gay is not a crime.
    Lying,backpeddling,insulting Americas intelligence and being contrary to all the morals Craig has preached should be the only reason for his ouster.
    But accusing the whole right of being bigots should be a crime also.
    As a matter of fact, this action by the left of generalizing the whole republican party is bigoted in it own way also, right ?

  7. micky2 says:

    Failure to proof read, sorry.
    First sentence should be sleeze factor.

  8. Jersey McJones says:

    I agree with you, Micky, that the public restroom had more to do with the scandal than the act itself. Just the same, there remains the hypocrisy issue, and covers both homosexuality and prostitution as far as Christian-Right Republicans are concerned, and it ain’t just libs that see it that way.

    JMJ

  9. Jersey McJones says:

    I agree with you, Micky, that the public restroom had more to do with the scandal than the act itself. Just the same, there remains the hypocrisy issue, and covers both homosexuality and prostitution as far as Christian-Right Republicans are concerned, and it ain’t just libs that see it that way.

    JMJ

  10. micky2 says:

    Definatley hypocrisy issue stands unchallenged, but Craig just piled on the icing(and still is) by adding the sleeze factor to it.
    Screwing around on your wife with another man or woman is one thing.
    But a public restroom? Yeccch.
    Like Eric said in Clintons case, I would have more respectif he could of just fessed up and said ; Hey ! I’m bi sexual and I did a stupid thing.
    But since he expects America to swallow obvious B.S. it shows he is not the sharpest knife in the rack. We arent that dumb. (most of us)

  11. Carole says:

    G, you’re trying to hard to make sense of this. It’s not about sex, morality, or homosexuality. It’s all about political expediency….read, damage control. The guy’s just your average joe looking for love in the wrong places who got caught. If he hadn’t been trying to control political fallout, he might of just dealt with it honestly, and gone on. Politically, republicans are held to a different standard as an overeaction to the stereotypical idea of said group….which is of course as accurate as any other stereotype.

    My point I am making poorly at this hour, is yes, it makes no sense in the real world….but politics is NOT the real world, and that’s what it’s all about. I’m just embarrassed that there was even a national conversation about the details of the ‘crime’. Totally unnecessary in the large scheme of things. Tabloid journalism dressed up as news.

  12. Carole says:

    By the way, G…what’s a hot piece of redacted?

  13. illa morales says:

    If someone places themselves on a pedastal, perfect, superior, pinnacle of the hierarchy, isn’t it human nature to want to knock him off, his high horse? I don’t think this is partisan at all. Just someone who came down on Clinton for being in Craig’s words, “a bad, bad, naughty, nasty boy.”

    So it doesn’t matter that Craig is republican, he’s whipping stones from his glass house. There is an old psychological trick that says what ever people complain about passionately, hold up a mirror and see where it is sympatico with the person doing the complaining.

    Therefore Craig complaining about Clinton being,” a bad, bad, naughty, nasty boy,” was merely Craig’s judgement of himself. Passionate judgements are a window into someone’s interior thoughts and feelings and they are quite telling.

  14. illa morales says:

    Larry Craig on Chris Matthews about Bill Clinton, what a mouthful, no pun intended!!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N26G88KpbW8

  15. GunnyG says:

    Jersey,

    You gotta stand for something or you’ll be bending over for everything.

    But the liberal way is to say, “we can’t stop it so we should just go with it Why bother having any standards?”

    That’s like saying, why wipe my butt since I’m gonna poop again soon!

  16. Lord Nazh© says:

    Good discussions all… Just want to point out that Craig did not have sex in the aformentioned bathroom :)

    Eric: http://lordnazh.com/DailyRamble/2007/09/hrw-attacks-israel-again-and-bad-guys.html

    Israel and condemnation (yet again) + the added bonus of 3 hamas offed

  17. GunnyG says:

    I LOVE news with a happy ending.

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070906/ap_on_re_us/corruption_arrests

    11 Dhimmicrats busted. Gotta love it.

  18. Jersey McJones says:

    Gunny,

    I don’t care about homosexuality. It’s none of my business, as long as you don’t have sex in a public place, gay or straight. That’s my stand.

    JMJ

  19. Jersey McJones says:

    Gunny,

    I don’t care about homosexuality. It’s none of my business, as long as you don’t have sex in a public place, gay or straight. That’s my stand.

    JMJ

  20. GunnyG says:

    Jersey,

    While I agree with you on your last post, I DO have a problem with legitimizing it, gay marriage, etc. They are NOT propagating society without the help of science. Yes, I know all about a NORMAL couple not being about to have kids but that is an exception, not the norm. With homosexuals, it is the NORM.

    1 man + 1 man = ZERO
    1 woman + 1 woman = ZERO
    1 Woman + 1 Man = Continuation of the Species.

    Pretty cut and dried really.

  21. Jersey McJones says:

    Gunny,

    It’s really none of your business. I don’t care what people do. There are gay dogs, gay cats, gay horses, gay mice, gay monkeys, gay people. It happenes? Whatchagunnado? That’s life. There will always be straight people. Homosexuals are no more “the norm” than straight people who can’t have kids, or straight people who are into different kinds of sex. So what? Who cares? Why does this matter to you? Don’t you ever get tired of being diverted by psuedo-issues that are none of your business? Abortion, homosexuality, polyamory, whatever. Who cares? All that matters are that people are happy and they’re not hurting anyone in the process. That’s the American way. That’s liberty. That’s a free society. Would you prefer Stalinism? The Taliban? Mao? Castro? Pol Pot? Why do you want to impose your way of life on others when they are not imposing anything on you?

    I’ll tell you why…

    You’re a busybody.

    JMJ

  22. GunnyG says:

    Gay animals?

    I was raised on a farm in Colorado and the herd we had, the bulls only went after cows. Our Rooster was content with nabbing hens, and we had three german shorthair hunting dogs and I never saw THEM banging one another. Your argument is flawed.

    Animals are smarter than gays, they know to propagate the species. For gays, it’s all about them.

  23. Jersey McJones says:

    Gunny, anecdotes are like noses; everyone has one. You just can’t seem to find a way to keep your’s out of other people’s personal business.

    Gays, like straights, ARE animals. All creatures without cell walls are animals. Not only that, but gay men are among the wealthiest sectors in American society. Maybe you picked the wrong team in life. Seems like “teh” gays have got your brand of capitalism down pat. ;)

    JMJ

  24. GunnyG says:

    “Not only that, but gay men are among the wealthiest sectors in American society.”

    Yeah, when you’re not having to raise kids, you got lots of dough.

    Also, why is it that when a pro-gay person such as yourself gets backed into a corner on gaybos, you resort to the same old crap of, “well, maybe you might be gay,” or “maybe you should try it,” or, “maybe you’re afraid YOU are gay,” latent”, etc, etc, ad nauseum.

  25. Michael says:

    Republican sex scandles wouldn’t be such a big deal — if the social conservatives of the party didn’t make it such a big deal. They’ve made anti-gay rhetoric a cornerstone of their platform, and now they’re beliefs have trapped their own. Well good riddence. They reap what they sow. Cheers!

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