Archive for June, 2010

A pair of heartfelt Father’s Day songs

Sunday, June 20th, 2010

On this Father’s Day, it would be nice if my father could be healthy. Between being a Holocaust survivor and having a pair of open heart surgeries in addition to eye problems, he has not caught many breaks.

He and I are very different people with very different interests. He still remembers reading to me as a kid, and is amazed at how fast time flies.

On this day I am thinking of two songs. Neither of them are happy songs, but they are heartfelt. The first one was a song he sang to me when I was a kid. It was done by Jim Croce and redone by Ugly Kid Joe. It is entitled “Cats in the Cradle.”

The second song is by Mike and the Mechanics, entitled “The Living Years.” It is a very poignant song that is a good blueprint for fathers and sons everywhere.

Here is “Cats in the Cradle.”

“My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin’ ‘fore I knew it, and as he grew
He’d say ‘I’m gonna be like you dad
You know I’m gonna be like you’

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home dad?
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then son
You know we’ll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, ‘Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let’s play
Can you teach me to throw’, I said ‘Not today
I got a lot to do’, he said, ‘That’s ok’
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, ‘I’m gonna be like him, yeah
You know I’m gonna be like him’

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home son?
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then son
You know we’ll have a good time then

Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
‘Son, I’m proud of you, can you sit for a while?’
He shook his head and said with a smile
‘What I’d really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?’

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home son?
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then son
You know we’ll have a good time then

I’ve long since retired, my son’s moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, ‘I’d like to see you if you don’t mind’
He said, ‘I’d love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job’s a hassle and kids have the flu
But it’s sure nice talking to you, Dad
It’s been sure nice talking to you’

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He’d grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home son?
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then son
You know we’ll have a good time then”

On more than one occasion I thought I would not have a father. As awful as his health is, he is alive. I now have a job with frequent travel, so I book as many gigs as possible in South Florida so I can visit my parents. It is too late when we are gone to wish we had visited more often.

We are all busy. We have to make the time.

As for the song “The Living Years,” it is one of the most heartfelt songs ever written.

“Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door

I know that I’m a prisoner
To all my Father held so dear
I know that I’m a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Crumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thoughts
Stilted conversations
I’m afraid that’s all we’ve got

You say you just don’t see it
He says it’s perfect sense
You just can’t get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talkin’ in defense

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It’s too late when we die
To admit we don’t see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel
Between the present and the past
We only sacrifice the future
It’s the bitterness that lasts

So Don’t yield to the fortunes
You sometimes see as fate
It may have a new perspective
On a different date
And if you don’t give up, and don’t give in
You may just be O.K.

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It’s too late when we die
To admit we don’t see eye to eye

I wasn’t there that morning
When my Father passed away
I didn’t get to tell him
All the things I had to say

I think I caught his spirit
Later that same year
I’m sure I heard his echo
In my baby’s new born tears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It’s too late when we die
To admit we don’t see eye to eye

Say it loud, say it clear
Say it loud
Don’t give up
Don’t give in
And don’t know what you can do next”

I really hope that I bring a son into the world while my dad is alive. After all he has been through, I know he badly wants a grandson. However, part of growing up is a man living his own life on his own terms. If it happens, great. If not, it was not meant to be.

My father and I remain very different people. Yet at least we said we needed to say in the living years.

Dad, I hope this Father’s Day brings you good health. More than anything, you want, need, and deserve that.

I love you dad. Happy…and Healthy…Father’s Day.


The Miami Shark

Saturday, June 19th, 2010

In May of 2010 I was single.

In June of 2010 I met the Miami Shark. She is the loveliest woman on Earth, and I am truly blessed.

She is a Republican Jewish brunette who likes football. In fact, she works with the National Football League as a medical professional.

She is smart, funny, sweet, tough, and gorgeous.

She is 1/2 Hispanic, 1/2 Israeli, and 100% Jewish.

I met her in Miami, but she will be moving to Los Angeles at some point.

I refer to her as the Miami Shark because of her career as a football medical professional. The Miami Sharks were the football team from the movie “Any Given Sunday.”

We are officially a couple, and I am the happiest guy on the planet. She is happy as well, and it is nice that on virtually every level we are on the same wavelength.

Normally I would be making comments about her various physical attributes, but this girl is different. Don’t get me wrong. They are spectacular. Yet she is so much more than that.

She is everything a man could possibly want in a woman.

She brightens my days and life after dark.

She is my girlfriend, the Miami Shark.


Firing Squad Friday

Friday, June 18th, 2010

6 hours of driving, 3 in Southern California and 3 in Idaho, in addition to a few hours on planes, equals a 4am bedtime and a Noon wakeup call.

So here is Firing Squad Friday, where I offer nothing of value, and do that badly.

In Utah a murderer was executed on death row by firing squad. Good. I hope they played a Barbra Streisand record to torture him in his final seconds before pulling the triggers.

On Capitol Hill the CEO of BP faced a different firing squad. I was not bothered by this because the session was totally useless. It was so obvious that Democrats want to shift the debate away from their inability to accomplish anything this legislative session.

In basketball news, the evil empire of basketball won again. I am sick inside. I am not sure if a certain leader of that team made a deal with the devil, or merely is the devil. Either way, I hope the guards in my building had a firing squad of their own prepared in case the mob violence reached my street. I will know if the city burned when I get back.

Ole, ole ole ole…ole…ole.

That concludes my soccer report, sponsored by Oil of Olay.

As for the scores of the games…oh, nobody cares.

I began yesterday speaking at 7am to the Cajon Valley GOP ladies in San Diego. Then I drove from San Diego to Los Angeles, stopping to chat with a San Diego police officer who explained that speed laws are arbitrary numbers, not suggested guidelines or recommendations.

Caught my flight to Idaho, and got to meet another police officer who explained a similar concept. The trees obscure the signs here.

I have the biggest speech of my life tonight, but I can’t talk about it until it happens. Maybe I can, but I am voluntarily keeping this one under wraps.

On the romance front, major announcement tomorrow.

Meanwhile, I was excited this morning about meeting the Jewish community of Idaho. I woke up, walked to my sink, and looked in the mirror. There I was.

Just kidding.

BP CEO Hayward reminds me of Piers Morgan.

Henry Waxboy remains as hideous as ever inside and out.

It could be exhaustion talking, but Arizona Governor Jan Brewer looks kinda hot.

Lastly, I had an adventure in the desert the day before yesterday when I got stranded on the way to Phoenix. Some Mexicans showed up with a canteloupe.

Do not bother to figure that one out. Just go with it.

The idle mind is the devil’s playground, and I am now officially an amusement park. On Monday, hard core politics will return.

This concludes Firing Squad Friday.

As for the guy in Utah, like Chevy Chase reporting on Francisco Franco, the man is still dead.


British Petroleum Screws Up Royally

Thursday, June 17th, 2010

Dear British Petroleum,

You really screwed up royally.

No, I am not talking about the oil spill. Accidents happen, sometimes very bad ones.

Yet your actions taken in the last 24 hours are nothing short of corporate suicide.

You have decided to voluntarily give away 20 billion dollars to people who want to kill you while screwing over the only people who want you to exist and thrive.

Let me explain it to you in a simple manner. President Barack Obama hates your guts. You are an evil big oil company. He wants to put you and all of your competitors out of business so the entire world can be one green utopia. The oil rig explosion gave him an opportunity. Yet your awful decision yesterday made matters worse.

It is impossible to unite everybody on to your side. However, it is possible to lose everyone and have them all against you.

The law said you only had to pay 75 million dollars for the cleanup. People may not like that law, but liberals love to claim that any law they dislike is illegal. The government was trying to turn public anger against you into a sledgehammer to take 20 billion dollars from you. You caved.

The government claims that the person overseeing this 20 billion is a fair minded individual. He may very well be. However, he still answers to the president. Do you think the president cares if any of the claims against you will be frivolous? He just wants you out of business.

There is no guarantee that 20 billion will be the end of it.

So what did you do? You took the one group of people that still had a reason to support you…the shareholders…and you screwed them over. You announced that you were suspending dividends.

This is lunacy.

(Full Disclosure: to the best of my knowledge I do not own shares in BP.)

You should have kept dividends the same. In fact, you may have even considered raising them.

Look at your warm furry tobacco friends at Altria, formerly Philip Morris.

(I do own shares in them.)

They know that the world hates them. They face plenty of lawsuits, some legitimate and some from crybabies looking for a free ride in life. Yet 80 year old ladies still buy the stock because they like the large dividend. Mutual fund managers like the stock in their value funds.

Either become a growth stock, which is not going to happen, or remain a value stock, which you are. You cannot be a value stock without providing value.

The government will rile the public up and say that you are paying out dividends to avoid your responsibilities. This is nonsense. Honoring your commitment to your shareholders is a major responsibility.

My prediction was that your desire for good public relations would allow you to pay out tons of money, which you just did. The government will thank you by commencing a criminal investigation. You will be out of business, exactly as they want.

Your stock price is plummeting. The only reason to buy the stock just got slashed out of existence along with your dividend.

By paying out dividends, you would have kept many loyal shareholders. That would have allowed you to raise more money to pay claims. You sacrificed future business for a short term public relations reward that will have a shorter shelf life than the Obama speech condemning you.

Yes, the spill needs to be fixed and you need to pay claims. Yet destroying the trust with the only people standing by you was as shortsighted as it is counterproductive.

I am no liberal anti-business crybaby. I worship at the alter of big business. My favorite charity is “save the big businessmen.” So when a rah-rah cheerleader for corporate America tells you that you screwed up royally, trust me on this one.

Perhaps giving away all of your wealth is part of some elaborate estate planning technique I did not think about.

Or you just caved in to pressure and gave up all of your leverage for nothing.

You are now as dead in the water as the oil coated pelicans.

The only people willing to give you a chance were the shareholders and future potential shareholders. They will flee in droves, as they should.

Your dividend is gone. Enjoy your remaining few months on Earth before the president shuts you down faster than Vladimir Putin seized Yukos Oil.

The spill was an accident. Eliminating your dividend was a deliberate dreadful decision.


The indispensable one speaketh

Wednesday, June 16th, 2010

My father used to tell me that “no one is indispensable.” Yet yesterday, a man who is as close as it gets to indispensable addressed the nation.

I hung on his every word. He was his crystal clear brilliant self, until his remarks were cut short by dehydration.

Enough about General David Petraeus. I will get to him later. For now I will shift from the indispensable to the inconsequential.

President Obama gave a speech, because he does that.  The topic du jour was the Gulf oil spill. In all fairness, this speech was appropriate to give. It was not a good or bad speech. It was simply an irrelevant speech.

The best speech Barack Obama gave was his 2004 keynote address at the DNC Convention. That will remain one of the all time great speeches. His speech on election night of 2008 was quite good.

Yet since being president, too many of his speeches have made him come across as pompous. It only almost cost him the White House, when he looked disdainfully and said, “You’re likable enough Hillary.”

He is also at his worst when he is being petulant. Blaming his predecessor for everything from fungal infections to dead possums on the highways is long past tiresome. This speech was better because he finally managed to stop doing that. He may not have gotten the message in his heart, but he does pay attention to polls.

The worst part of this speech was when he decided to set up a commission to study what went wrong regarding the oil explosion. Setting up a commission is code for doing nothing. I can tell everyone right now what happened.

It was a tragic accident.

That is it.

This was not 9/11. 9/11 was a deliberate act of evil barbarism.

This may or may not have been preventable. The problem with the president is that on more than one occasion he was quick to jump to conclusions without having all the facts.

The only thing we know about the oil explosion is that we don’t know.

The president can talk about commissions, he can have Robert Gibbs threaten to put his boot on the throat of BP, and he can have Eric Holder look busy and pretend to actually do something by starting an investigation at the worst possible time. What he cannot do is fix the d@mn problem.

I don’t expect him to plug the hole. I expect him to stop being so sanctimonious and let BP do what it needs to do. The government should only intervene if they have alternative and better ideas.

The problem with this and most presidents is that they come into office wanting to do certain things, and anything else outside their scope of interest, they prefer not to deal with. George Herbert Walker Bush enjoyed picking up the phone and talking to foreign leaders. Domestic policy did not interest him.

Barack Obama wants to deal with only three things: health care, the environment, and energy. Virtually nothing else matters to him. The oil spill bothers him because it takes his time away from other things.

Naturally, he “never lets a good crisis go to waste.”  Ramming cap and trade down our throats and banning offshore drilling are easier when an evil oil company can be vilified.

The problem is that like with health care, his cap and trade proposal is light on substance and long on ideology. He says it will work. That is not good enough.

Again, this was far from one of his worst speeches. He did seem cool and detached through most of the speech, getting sincerely excited only when talking about cap and trade.

He again used the straw man argument that those opposing him favored doing nothing. He still cannot accept that for some people, doing something just means doing it a different way from him. He again tossed out the meaningless line about wanting good ideas from all over, but his actions show he does not mean this.

The president is caught in a bind. Either he is in charge, or he is not. If he is in charge, he has ownership of the mess. He did not cause the oil spill, but his predecessor did not cause Hurricane Katrina or 9/11.

I still maintain he should continue to outsource the situation to BP, since they have every incentive to fix the problem.

He needs to stop bullying them. Also, his proposal to lift the cap on damages from 75 million to 20 billion and apply it retroactively might be illegal.

(I am against retroactive policies in general, although the president has lawyers to advise him on the constitutionality of his actions.)

The biggest problem with this speech is that it spent more time on macro issues of grandeur and less time on the specific micro issue at hand.

Oil is flooding the gulf. The president is passionately lecturing us on wind farms and solar panels. Ecology is not a negative topic, but right now the issue is timing. We can talk about the future, but the present is that we have a disaster in the gulf with no end in sight.

The president responds with regulation and oversight. Yet accidents happen. That is why they are called accidents. They will happen again. Wind, solar, and other energy forms are unproven, and they will have their benefits and drawbacks. I am not saying to discount them, but right now America needed a speech on what was going to be done to stop the flow of oil in the Gulf.

The left will love the speech because they worship him. Their opinions of him are as predetermined as his opinions on every issue are.

I would be surprised if the middle of the country that decides elections found anything useful in his speech regarding the specific problem facing us.

This is why I found his speech to be less troublesome than irrelevant. The president is on the verge of being peripheral, insisting that he matters as we all go about our lives without him.

This brings me back to David Petraeus. He does matter. He delivered the goods when he had to do so. He fainted during his senate hearing from exhaustion and dehydration. Ever the trooper, he was prepared to continue testifying before the senate decided to postpone for the day and give him some rest.

They understand how important he is. Not since Chief Justice John Roberts had a seizure a year or so ago have I felt the fate of America (and the world) hinged on one man.

Somebody make sure General Petraeus is resting comfortably, because heaven help this world if something happens to him.

I know he is supposedly not indispensable, but evidence has suggested he really is fairly close to it.

That is why I hang on his every word.

As for the president, I hang on his words out of respect for the office, and nothing more.

He has done far worse and far better in the words department. In the actions department, saying you are doing things is hollow without the results. Trying hard is not good enough.

He set the bar high. He was going to save the world.

He is now sitting in the chair. Time will tell if my assessment that he is not up to snuff has validity.

For now, he does not seem to matter.

I wish he did.


Another academic terrorist sleeper cell gets busted

Tuesday, June 15th, 2010

For those who did not know, terrorist sleeper cells exist in plain sight in America. They are known as college campuses, specifically the Middle East Studies departments.

I have said on many occasions that all public schools should be converted into prisons. The criminals are already there, and this saves the money of having to find new plots of land to build the only real property that never goes down in value.

One place that rarely sees its value rise above zero is the University of California at Irvine, UCI. UCI is where the anti-Semitism is so bad that it makes the United Nations seem positive by comparison.

One vile entity at UCI is the MSU, Muslim Student Union.

Earth to those on the politically correct left: Attacking the Muslim Student Union is not the same as attacking all Muslims or all Muslim students. It is ok to refer to Muslim groups as terrorists when they actually are. It is ok to accuse people of things when they actually did it.

For those who do not understand what constitutes terrorism, stop being liberal. I will explain it again. If you fund, harbor, or support terrorism in any way, then you are a terrorist. The people who knowingly give terrorists bed and breakfasts to sleep and eat in are every bit as murderous as those who actually set the bombs.

UCI has for years invited “professors” who have expressed support for Hamas and Hezbollah. These professors have tacitly (and sometimes enthusiastically endorsed suicide bombings of innocent Jews.

Try inviting members or supporters of the Klan to a campus and see how that goes over. Yet when it comes to Radical Islamists, politically correct insanity takes over. This is why our Poison Ivy League universities have become imbecilic and often dangerous institutions of lower learning.

UCI suspended the MSU for one year. This is barely better than nothing. It is like Congress pretending to deal with ACORN. The MSU will have a year to regroup and change their name and go back to spreading the same bile with a clean slate. A better parallel would be when Israel beats the daylights out of Hezbolah, who then insists on a ceasefire to give them time to rearm and reload.

Yet at least the suspension is a symbolic victory. Normally I avoid trumpeting symbolic victories, but on a campus as toxic as UCI, the smallest moral victory is taken.

Liberals, Palesimians, and Islamists everywhere will make excuses for UCI. Nobody on the left will condemn this place that has taken the America custom of accepting the tired and poor to accepting wretched culturally cancerous wretched vermin.

11 Islamist protesters were arrested. This is a shame, because it means they were not shot on sight. Perhaps they will be beaten in prison.

The world has a long way to go before it separates itself from the United Nations and other pathetic excuses for organizations that long ago surrendered to the Caliphate.

This is not a war against Islam. It is a war against Radical Islam. While I personally would have recommended that the Dean of Students take the protesters, shove rocket launchers up their hides, and have them blasted off to where they came from, even a tacit one year suspension is slightly better than the typical leftist college impotence.

I still think that Neocons get a bad rap, that they stereotype is of people who want to carpetbomb an entire village to get one bad agitator.

Let me be an over the top caricature stereotype on this one and in this situation say “sounds good to me.”

If we shut down every school and convert it into a prison, we will get the bad students. Since that will not happen, at least crack down hard on the worst of the students.

The MSU are the worst of the worst. They finance and glorify terrorism. The examples are overwhelming and easily located online for those wishing to do an ounce of fact finding.

For one enjoyable year, UCI will not require Jews to be sent to ICU. For a brief period of time, UCI will attempt to salvage a phony image of tolerance by offering a mild censure of a bloodthirsty anti-Semitic organization.

Yes the punishment will be less than what the NCAA gave to USC for football recruiting violations, but then again football is admittedly serious.

The only thing left is for these Jihadist professors to either follow the example of Helen Thomas and join Al Jazeera, or carry out their dream of Martyrdom and just blow themselves up already.

12 months of peace and quiet await at UCI. We shall see.


The Beck vs O’Reilly Disagreement

Monday, June 14th, 2010

I enjoy watching Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly, but when it comes to President Barack Obama, they have a very serious…and important…disagreement.

The disagreement is also very simple. While they are both troubled by aspects of Mr. Obama’s presidency (as am I), they have opposing views regarding what is inside his heart.

O’Reilly thinks that the president is basically a good decent guy. His intentions are honorable. He loves America as much as the rest of us.

His concerns are that the president is sometimes misguided and sometimes naive.

He didn’t explain his healthcare bill adequately. He doesn’t realize that the bill will bankrupt our country.

His intentions to reach out to Iran have not worked. He is an idealist that does not understand the depth of hatred that Iran has for us.

His intentions in the Middle East are noble, but he does not realize how much hatred the Palesimians have for Israel.

So in short, while the results may not be worth the effort, the thought process behind various decisions are decent.

Beck gives the president no quarter. He believes that there is something dark and sinister surrounding this administration. The people surrounding the president are bad people.

He deliberately concealed the details of his healthcare plan. He knows it will bust the budget because he wants to collapse the system. He wants this because he is a radical.

He embraces Iran because he wants a humbled America, since he believes in one world government.

He has a hostility toward Israel.

This disagreement matters because I hear various viewpoints when I speak around America. My prepared remarks are fairly non-controversial, but the question and answer sessions are often very lively.

One of my close friends believes Beck is right. Mr. Obama is a bad person.

I honestly do not know the truth, but I side with O-Reilly on this one.

I do this because I have to.

One day I am going to have to stand before God, and God help me if I misjudge a man in terms of what is in his heart.

I watched for eight years as the left ripped into George W. Bush. Now they are doing it to Sarah Palin. The left will say that these conservatives “deserve it.”

No they don’t. They are human beings. The left refuses to grasp this.

(In this instance it is not naivete. The leftists haters are terrible human beings that hate for the sake of hating. Nothing about their intentions are decent or honorable.)

Until I see evidence that the president has evil intentions, I owe him the benefit of the doubt.

I am not scared to call out anybody. Helen Thomas is an anti-Semite, and the world is better off without her bile.

Yet with the president, I just do not feel that level of viciousness inside him.

When I speak to conservative audiences, I go out of my way to make certain points when questions are asked that force me to address such issues.

I believe he is a good husband and father. This cannot be minimized. If Republicans go after him on family values, the left will bring up  Mark Sanford, Mark Foley, and every other conservative that screwed up royally. If we lost the family values argument, we are done. His children are good kids, and he sincerely loves them.

What I then say is that his policies are bad for the families of the people in the audience.

Conservatives must stay away from the birth certificate issue. The man was born in Hawaii. Some conservatives wonder why he doesn’t bother just producing the document. This is so simple. The left loves this story because it makes the right look like lunatics.

A rumor broke out during the impeachment hearings that Bill Clinton exploded in anger during his testimony. The left allowed this rumor to go unchallenged. Then many people including myself watched the entire testimony. Clinton was completely composed. The right looked like numbskulls.

We have to get the story right if we are going to lambaste those who repeatedly get it wrong like the Jayson Blair Times.

We must not bring up the issue of whether he is a closet Muslim. The man says he is a Christian. Unless I have evidence he is lying, I have to take him at his word.

Regarding his Israel stance, I do not believe he is an anti-Semite. I believe he sees the Israelis and Palesimians as morally equivalent because he does not want to deal with anything that gets in the way of his domestic agenda. As Bill Cosby used to say, “Parents are not interested in justice. They want quiet.”

Obama is arrogant. He believes he can succeed in the Middle East where everybody else has failed. This is hubris. If everybody would shut up and shake hands, he could collect another award on the world stage. He does not hate or love Jews or Muslims. He loves himself. That makes him a narcissist, but not evil.

He also knows that there is no penalty for leaning on Israel because liberal Jews will cower and grovel and beg for his love like disaffected children. This makes Mr. Obama nothing but a smart, calculating politician that knows who he can push and when, and in how much degree.

So why does any of this matter?

I want to help build a lasting conservative majority in this country. This country is divided into (unequal) thirds.

The first third are the conservatives. Fellow Conservatives should not spend too much time preaching to the converted. It wastes time. Also, once primaries are over, Republicans and conservatives and independents on the right must come together and fall into line. This is non-negotiable.

The second group are those on the hard left. Do not spend time as conservatives arguing with these people. You will not sway them. You will waste your time and energy and just get frustrated.

Conservatives should spend 90% of their time talking to the third of Americans in the middle. These re the reasonable people who want to hear both sides, soak up information, and come to an intelligent conclusion. They don’t want anger. They want a train of thought that makes sense so they can say “ok, I’ll buy that argument.”

I use humor because it is a very effective weapon. Comedians on the left have been doing this forever, and the right needs to catch up. Being dour does not work. We cannot be the grumpy old party.

I do engage the left, but I am not actually talking to them. I am talking through them to entertain the people in the middle. This is why I showed up at the 2008 GOP Convention with a sign that said “Lesbian Vegans for Libya.” They really thought I was one of them. It was that easy.

The people in the middle decide elections. They have a loyalty to America, and want their leaders to succeed.

In 2004, the left failed to grasp that most Americans did not despise George W. Bush. They liked him personally but felt some frustrations.

The people in this country generally like Barack Obama. Trying to convince them to hate the guy will not work.

Go after him on policy. He is wrong on taxes, trade, Israel, environmental legislation, union card check, and a ton of other policy issues.

O’Reilly is sometimes criticized for bending over backwards to be fair.

Beck has no such compunctions. He just hacks away. His justification, which is perfectly fine by me, is that if he is wrong, the left should call him on it.

The left argues nonsensically that the president too busy to bother with such trivial people as Beck, but this is bogus. They just can’t find anything. Heck, I get lambasted for spelling mistakes. Beck drives the left bats because they have not disproven his assertions. Facts are stubborn things.

Yet connecting the dots is not the same as knowing what is in Mr. Obama’s heart.

On the issue of the president’s character, Beck even admits that he wants to be wrong. He seems very sincere in this claim.

I want Beck to be wrong as well. I don’t want my president (Yes, he is my president even though I fight him on most issues and am working to defeat him) to be a bad person.

So until I see evidence that Mr. Obama has the malice that Helen Thomas or others haters have, I cannot say that he is anything other than a man with policy positions and beliefs that are fundamentally flawed.

I hope O’Reilly is right, and that I am not foolish for giving the president the benefit of the doubt.

Yet that is what I am going to do.

He is doing a dreadful job as president. He is wrong on every issue that matters to me. He is making us less safe, and spending us into oblivion.

Yet if he comes to me with a handshake and offers to watch a ballgame, I will extend my hand and watch the game with him.

If he tries to sway me politically, I will let him know that I would rather, respectfully, just watch the game.

This center-right country means conservatives will gain power soon provided we do not give in to our baser instincts and adopt the destructive rhetorical poison that defines the left.


Adrian Peterson and the Arab-Israeli Conflict

Sunday, June 13th, 2010

It seems that Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson has waded into the Arab-Israeli conflict.

For those of you wondering if this is going to be those days where exhaustion, Summer heat, constant travel, and lack of football turn my mind to mush…yes, absolutely.

I flew yesterday from Dallas, Texas, home to Los Angeles. I had a stopover in New Mexico. Thankfully the people there did not read my column from a few days ago where I insisted New Mexico was south of the border. This is my official retraction. New Mexico is an actual state. My bad. I would have checked out Roswell but that is hard to do without leaving the airport.

Yet in New Mexico, I read the news online and was sad to read that Adrian Peterson is now part of the Arab-Israeli conflict.

First let me say that I have always liked Adrian Peterson. I met him at the NFL Draft in 2006. He was one of the nicest guys I had ever met. His aunt saw me holding a football and insisted that I have him autograph it. She explained that “that boy was raised right. He will sign it. You let me know if he doesn’t.”

While other athletes (JaMarcus Russell did not sign my ball. Screw him. I held my tongue but he is no longer on the Raiders.) did not sign stuff, Peterson signed everything in sight. His aunt saw me again afterward and said “I told you he would sign it. He’s a good boy.”

I cheered for him when he broke the single game rushing record. I celebrated his becoming an elite running back. I agonized when his fumbles hurt the team, especially in the NFC Title Game last year. He is working on his fumbling, and will improve.

Yet Adrian Peterson was not at minicamp this week. These are not voluntary workouts. They are mandatory. Brett Favre is not there either, but as coach Brad Childress, who is bald and Catholic, said, “Peterson is not contemplating retirement.”

(Neither is # 4. He is coming back, and dislikes the offseason. 20 years gets you a pass. Peterson is not there yet, as “Chilly” pointed out.)

Yet the reason why Peterson was not there is my cause for concern. In the town in Texas where he grew up, there is an annual “Adrian Peterson Day.” It has been going on for four straight years. Usually you get that when you win a championship or save humanity, but in small towns I guess just being from there and having people know you is good enough.

I was just in Texas yesterday, but I was not going to his reception. I did not want to set foot there. I drove through the town a week ago and kept the windows up and drove fast.

This Jewish boy and son of a Holocaust survivor was not going to set foot in that land.

I was not going to acknowledge Palestine, Texas.

That’s right. The Palesimians want all of Israel, and now they have seized a stretch of Texas between Houston and Tyler.

(The town pronounces it “Pal-e-steen,” but I can read.)

Adrian Peterson is from Palestine. That makes him a Palestinian.

I am really torn on this one.

I am always being told that you can’t blame all the Palestinians for the 80% that are awful, but my attitude was that they voted for Hamas, so they were culpable.

I tried to research (ok, I was too lazy to do it, but pretend I did) if Adrian Peterson had any connections to Hamas, Hezbollah, or had even eaten Hummus. I could not find a thing.

He does play in Minnesota, which does have a large Arab population. I know in the mainstream media that would be evidence of some coverup, but it seems the only thing he wants to cover up is the football.

I don’t think the Vikings are an anti-Semitic cabal, but neither Favre nor Childress is Jewish. Now it seems they have a Palestinian running back.

Also, football is played on Sundays instead of Saturdays, which is odd given that Billy Graham would prefer otherwise. Maybe the Jews really are that special and God is at home watching the NFL.

Adrian, I am going to watch you closely. I have my eye on you. I am going to watch you intently to see if you step out of bounds with my Jewish community.

Actually, I will probably just wait for instant replay to tell me if you stepped out of bounds.

I will still go back to Texas, but I am not hanging out with the Palestinians. I will visit Paris, Texas, now that Nicolas Sarkozy is in power of France. Well, once I find out where it is.

Adrian, you got me to like a Palestinian. So I will honor Adrian Peterson Day out of respect for you.

I will worry about Israel trying to hang on to land later. Right now I am more concerned with you hanging on to the football and helping # 4 get back to the Super Bowl.


What I learned from the Al Gore divorce

Saturday, June 12th, 2010

I said a week ago that I was going to stay far away from the Al Gore divorce matter.

I have decided to rethink my position on the matter, and am going to tread very lightly for what should be obvious reasons.

First of all, my heart goes out to the man. His policies are diametrically opposed to mine. I find him on environmental matters to be hypocritical and phony. Yet his love for Tipper, his mate of four decades, seemed very genuine. I did not like her assault on rock musicians in the 1980s. Yet she seemed very happy as his wife. They both seemed to love their children. Their daughters blossomed. Their son has had his troubles, but many families have problems. The kid is not a mass murderer.

So outside of politics, they seem like a good family.

Normally I stay far away from this stuff, but there really is a legitimate teachable moment to be found in this situation.

The reason I am even approaching this issue at all is because a few days after Al and Tipper announced their intentions to separate, their daughter Karenna Gore Schiff announced that she and her husband of 13 years were divorcing. In 2009, their other daughter announced her divorce.

Three marriages in one nuclear family breaking up is painful, but again gave me some food for thought.

I am going to immediately and upfront concede that I have no idea why any of these divorces are occurring. There is no evidence that any bad behavior such as infidelity or abuse occurred.

One may ask why I am even bothering with this issue. That is a fair question.

My motives are honorable. I believe a divorce is a tragedy. It is the death of a marriage. Yes, it can be a positive occurrence, especially if their is abuse. Nobody should stay in an abusive relationship. Yet the fact that about 50% of marriages end in divorce is awful. The destruction of the nuclear family is the biggest societal breakdown in America. Many social ills stem from children coming from broken homes.

So why should a political blog cover this?

There is actually a political angle to this story. In the case of the various Gore family members, I can only offer speculation. It may be wild conjecture, and it may be reasonable inferences. Yet it is speculation nonetheless. However, in many other families there is evidence of the political destruction of families.

I believe that too many political activists lose sight of what matters most until it is too late.

My theory about Al Gore is that he went off the environmental rails. All of his global jet setting around the world came at a heavy price. When one is never in the same city for more than a couple days at a time, it is tough to enjoy family meals at the dinner table.

While the Gore analysis is theoretical, the Cindy Sheehan case is factual.

Cindy Sheehan became an activist due to the grief of her losing her son in a war. She found solace in her activism, and in the crowds of people who embraced her. Yet she became so obsessed that she began upsetting her husband and living children. They pleaded with her to come home. She refused to listen. Her husband filed for divorce. Not surprisingly, once the other liberal activists had no further use for her, they cast her aside.

She became an activist out of love for her family. She lost her entire family. She lost sight of why she was fighting. She lost everything.

This is by no means a liberal problem. Bob Dole and his first wife simply grew apart. He conceded himself that he made excuses. He was not forced to go to another rubber chicken dinner. He chose to do so. His second wife shared his activism, and they are happily married.

“Growing apart” is not a crime, but is it avoidable? I have no idea. I have never been married.

Yet what I do know is that a person with a family should make their family their top priority. It is called making sacrifices.

We are told we can have it all. Maybe we can’t.

The women’s movement lambasted stay at home moms. Hillary Clinton ridiculed ladies who stay home and bake cookies. Yet I have run into many traditional wives, and they are very happy. They feel fulfilled. Women should not be forced to stay home, but they should not be abused by the left if they choose to do so. After all, wasn’t the women’s movement about choice?

I don’t want to see any good marriage fail. I don’t want to see children have to visit one parent on weekends only. Ideally, all children would have a loving mother and father.

Yet when people spend every waking minute worrying about trees, animals, and insects, they often forget about human beings, especially the ones in their own lives who matter most.

Al Gore has millions of dollars. He has worldwide recognition, fame, and various awards. Yet he no longer has his wife, his life partner.

Cynical people will say that Al Gore can now start sleeping with barely legal coeds. That gets old quickly.

(Ok, it gets old eventually. Maybe not that quickly.)

Yet when he is traveling around the world and staying in a five star hotel, that giant hotel room with its giant hotel bed will feel very isolating without his forever love to share it with. The man may be thought of as made of wood, but he is blood and plasma like the rest of us. He feels pain. Any human being in his situation would.

I think about this because I am 38 years old. I am on the road much of the year. I speak to adoring crowds and get many standing ovations.

My parents want me to get married, but I cannot and will not do that unless I believe I can give her what she needs.

I have three choices.

1) Give up my political travel. That is not going to happen unless I get a six figure radio deal (That was a hint radio people. Show me the money.).

2) Stay single. This is not desirable, but it is what it is.

3) Find a life partner like Bob Dole did who enjoys being part of a power couple. Find someone who is willing to occasionally travel with me, laugh at the jokes she has heard before ad nauseum, tolerate rubber chicken dinners, and be a political spouse.

My obligation in this case would be to make sure to take breaks. Take real family vacations. Replenish and rejuvenate the union. Listen to her when she just needs a loving ear and shoulder to lean on.

I recently met a phenomenal woman. She has potential to be everything I have ever wanted.

I have made a promise to myself and her that I will not let politics get in the way of what matters most.

I hope that the Gore family is able to heal. I hope that political activists everywhere remember what they are truly fighting for.

It is tough balancing a political life and a family. Barack Obama is criticized by many for his decisions as the leader of the free world, but he seems to be doing an excellent job as the father of his household. Whether he succeeds as president or fails, I predict that he will succeed as a husband and father. His children will have a better chance of being good and happy adult citizens because of this.

We need to reduce the number of divorces in this country. I am not speaking legally, but morally.

We need to somehow figure out what we can do as a society to have stronger marriages and families. For one thing, we could listen to people that have bucked the odds and succeeded at this challenging but rewarding set of endeavors.

The pain has to stop. We need to find balance, and remember what matters most.

If we continue getting this wrong, our entire society will be like many households…broken.


Illegal immigration from the “other” Mexico

Friday, June 11th, 2010

It was once suggested to me that we could cure two world problems by feeding the homeless to the hungry.

The other day it was recommended that we solve two American problems by plugging the oil spill hole with illegal aliens.

It would be like keel hauling, except not.

Anyway, every day I read reports about illegal aliens sneaking across the border from Mexico to the United States.

I say that Old Mexico is old news.

The real issue is what nobody in America has the guts to talk about.

Immigration from the “other” Mexico is out of control.

Nothing good ever comes out of anything “new.”

New Coke was a disaster. The new math has left us bankrupt. The New Deal and the New Frontier hurt us, and listening to badly dressed consultants talk about new paradigms makes me want to reach for a bat.

(The baseball kind, not the furry flying creature kind.)

New Democrats are phony old style tax and spend liberals.

In that vein, it is time we stop the immigration from New Mexico.

Arizona is being overrun. Do you know how many people effortlessly sneak across the border from Albuquerque to Phoenix?

Does anybody think that everybody in El Paso, Texas, is a citizen of Texas? Of course not. Some are from New Mexico. They come to Texas for a better quality of life.

Some will say that if people from New Mexico want to come to Arizona or Texas to pick lettuce, that I should support them helping the local economies.

Nonsense. Many of them are criminals. Where do you people think banditos like Pancho Villa came from?

(According to Wikipedia, he came from Old Mexico, but he did enter New Mexico in 1916. On another note, how many bloggers take time to delve into Pancho Villa? I praise myself for this.)

New Mexico is a rogue nation state that must be stopped.

(Some schools teach that New Mexico is a state of the United States, but we all know how bad public school textbooks are.)

New Mexico is rife with corruption.

The president will never deal with this problem. His security procedures are so lax that a New Mexican almost infiltrated the highest levels of government to join his cabinet.

Former Governor Bill Richardson withdrew from being commerce secretary due to bimbo eruptions. The real untold scandal was that the current administration found out that he did not have his papers. He could not prove he was from America, only from New Mexico. Plus, if one of the women he was sleeping with was from Arizona, he was infiltrating sovereign territory.

If anybody wants further proof, New Mexico has restaurants that serve food that is partially Texan and partially Mexican. They call it “Tex-Mex.” That is fake Mexican. They are frauds.

We need to immediately build a border fence to keep people from New Mexico from getting into California.

I blame Friz Freleng and Mel Blanc for this problem. They gave us Bugs Bunny. Bugs kept getting lost because he kept taking that wrong left turn at Albuquerque, before the right at La Jolla. This was no accident. He was deliberately trying to sneak into La Jolla. The evidence is there. Watch the cartoon. I don’t need an Acme made anvil to fall on my head before I realize that somebody does not accidentally repeatedly invade somebody else’s territory.

If California, Arizona, and Texas all work together, we can surround New Mexico.

(Some would say this is geographically already the case, but I was never good in geography.)

The only solution is a full scale ground attack.

If we don’t deal with this now, the 2 million people in New Mexico right now will grow. We already gave those 2 million people amnesty. At this rate there might be 4 million people living in New Mexico in a few years.

Arizona, California, and Texas have had enough. From now on, no more screwing around. Every person caught in Phoenix, El Paso, Los Angeles, or even La Jolla will be checked for papers. If their passport says Albuquerque, they will immediately be deported back to the country of New Mexico.

Crack down now, or face more New Mexicans flooding American cities.