Hal Levine 2010–Pimps, Players, Mack Daddies, Hotties, Hootchies and Doofuses

I will not be covering the insignificant human beings attending the left-wing hate rally in DC disguised as comedy. Giving them attention would just embolden them.

Besides, this is a fun weekend. Before getting to football, it is time to get orange and black.

To all the Jewish people and supporters of the Jews, I wish you all a happy Hal Levine.

May the goodies get treats, the baddies get tricks, and the neutral get…well, something neutral.

I am declaring Hal Levine a day early, because tomorrow is the holy day of the National Football League.

The Pagan version of this holiday is Halloween.

Either way, it is normally a day for hobgoblins and ghosties and other scary stuff.

This year Halloween will be dedicated to other potentially scary creatures. I am talking about pimps, players, mack daddies, daddy macks, hotties, hootchies, hos, and doofuses.

I am not even going to pretend to understand what I just said.

For clarification, I visited the hysterically funny and brilliantly wicked Great Satan’s Girlfriend.


Great Satan’s Girlfriend is a woman barely 19 or 20 years old. She was 11 on 9/11, and noticed Palesimians sharing Laffy Taffy as Americans burned. At that moment she developed what she calls “Palestinian Sympathy Fatigue.” She is a hardcore Neocon, and an exceptionally bright one at that. Her column “Green Eggs and Hamas” is a must read.

Yet today is not about politics. She is also a master of street cred. She rolls large, although I am not sure what that means either. On her Facebook page she has a section of photos dedicated to “Pimps, Players, Hos, Hotties, Hootchies, and Doofuses.”

I know what a doofus is. It is not the same as a goofus or a dorkus, according to my swash-buckling, black-clad (perhaps for Halloween) alter ego “El Dorko.”

Yet I had no idea what the rest of it was. What is the difference between a pimp, a player, and a mack daddy?

Great Satan’s girlfriend educated me. I decided not to translate from the original gangsta slang, so read carefully to try and grasp her.

“Quick def – players are guys that meet girls and get phone numbers all the time.

Pimps are guys who get girls to do their bidding – errands, money lender, chauffeur etc – they use girls (not in a sexyful way all the time – but exploit them).

Mac daddies are guys that always Make A Connection with girls – a specialty player if you will.

My street creds ain’t all that – just hanging at the mall and Barnes and Nobles alla time.”

I am tempted to respond with “You dig! Holla!” I have no idea if that applies here, so I won’t.

I still did not know the difference between a Mack Daddy and a Daddy Mac. I know a Big Mac comes from McDonalds, so I suspect a Big Daddy Mack is cool enough to get extra ketchup packets without even asking.

Again, Great Satan’s girlfriend ‘splained it. I guess that is like explaining it.

“A daddy mac is a baby’s daddy that sleeps around or is actively on the prowl.

A mac daddy is good at collecting cell numbers and making a connection. Derived from the French and later Louisiana Creole patois term ‘maqereau’, which means ‘pimp.’ Adding ‘daddy’ makes it mean ‘top pimp’.”

This was followed by even more invaluable advice.

“Check the urban dictionary. Link it in your faves, it helps!”

Who could possibly disagree with that advice? I would need an interpreter first.

Anyway, for all you pimps, players, mack daddies, daddy macks, hos, hootchies, hotties, and doofuses, I wish you a Happy Hal Levine.


For those wishing to get back to the world of sanity, let’s get down to football.

Washington Redskins @ Detroit Lions

(Lions by 1, Redskins win outright)

Green Bay Packers @ New York Jets

(Jets by 6, they win but fail to cover)

Carolina Panthers @St. Louis Rams

(Rams by 3, they cover)

Miami Dolphins @ Cincinnati Bengals

(Bengals by 2.5 Dolphins win outright)

Buffalo Bills @ Kansas City Chiefs

(Chiefs by 7.5, they win but fail to cover)

Tennessee Titans @ San Diego Chargers

(Chargers by 4, they win but fail to cover)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Arizona Cardinals

(Cardinals by 3, they cover)

Seattle Seahawks @ Oakland Raiders

(Raiders by 1.5, they cover)

Minnesota Vikings @ New England Patriots

(Patriots by 5, they win but fail to cover)

Pittsburgh Steelers @ New Orleans Saints

(Pick, Saints win)

Denver Broncos @ San Francisco 49ers

(Pick, Broncos win)

Jacksonville Jaguars @ Dallas Cowboys

(Pick, Cowboys win)

Houston Texans @ Indianapolis Colts

(Colts by 5, they win but fail to cover)


2 Responses to “Hal Levine 2010–Pimps, Players, Mack Daddies, Hotties, Hootchies and Doofuses”

  1. The GTL’s NFL Picks — Week 8, 2010…

    Previous Week (Week 7): 9-5 Year To Date: 57-47 All-Time (2006 Through 2010 Combined Record To Date): 390-243 Okay, PHEW — about time. Finally. My .500 streak (three consecutive weeks in a row — weeks 4, 5 and 6) has finally come crashing t…

  2. Dav Lev says:

    Bush was seen at the Texas baseball game..rooting his Texas team
    over the Giants.

    This is a good series, but I admit to liking the Yankees, even more than
    the hapless Dodges, who are embroiled in ownership problems, personnel
    problems, you name it. The Dodgers might reconsider their policy of
    getting rid of their best players..I mean was Shawn all that bad or

    The above said, is anyone noticing the packages of explosives
    sent to Chicago synagogues?

    I thought about the incident.

    It seems, one of the shuls caterer to gay Jews, we call them
    Heblews. Its really not a derisive term, just sends a message of hope.

    I dont accept the gay lifestile admittedly..believing it is an illness
    encouraged over ones formative years..by any number of influences.

    However, they have a right to their positions I suppose, so long as
    they dont raise children to view their antics.

    Moses would be shocked, if he came down again from Sinai to see
    what his people are approving. The 10 commandments are but
    the tip of the law folks.

    Im waiting to watch the Palestinians throw candy off of roof tops
    and in the streets, knowing someone has their interests at heart.

    Yemens terrorists had three goals, as I analyze it.

    To kill Americans, to kill Jewish A
    mericans and to kill US American Jewish gays. 3 strikes and you are out.

    Can anyone imagine if one bomb had been exploded successfully?
    All that candy.

    Saudi Arabia, who Obama courts, is way ahead on this one.

    It gets 60b in US military aid, says Israel is the US “Sewer” and
    informs our intelligence of the plot.

    Leave it to the Saudis.

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