Joey Chestnut and the Drive for Five

July 4th is more than just America celebrating the fact that for 235 years we have preserved freedom and democracy by giving threats to the world a good red, white, and blue b*tchslapping.

July 4th is where we celebrate with fireworks, and red meat…lots of red meat.

So in the spirit of American competition and beef, it is time for the 2011 Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest in the greatest part of the greatest city of the greatest country in the world.

Welcome to Coney Island, Brooklyn, United States of America.

Hockey and basketball are done for the year. Football has not started, as both basketball and football are locked out. Baseball, soccer, and golf remain baseball, soccer and golf. There are no sports on television.

Except for today.

This is where we celebrate America at its decadent and competitive best.

Bring on Joey Chestnut.

I love this guy. He gets paid to do what most people would do for free if they could. He gorges on food and gets a championship belt for it.

I may have three championships from playing coed touch football, but Joey has four Yellow Belts. He defeated six time champion Kobayashi in 2007 and has not stopped eating since. His reign of 2007-2010 takes him back to Coney Island for the 2011 match.

This is where the big (hot) dogs of competitive eating come to show their stuff.

I may have failed in my quest to handle the “Man vs Food” Ghost Chili Pepper Burger at Chunky’s in San Antonio (ate half, nearly died from pain), but I can still appreciate a carnivorous chompion.

Joey “Jaws” Chestnut, good luck with the drive for five.

Make America proud.

Down those hot dogs like it’s the Summer version of Super Bowl Sunday because, well frankly, it is.

Gentlemen, and ladies…start your appetites.

Go get ’em Jaws.

Happy July 4th and God bless America.


One Response to “Joey Chestnut and the Drive for Five”

  1. America is about a great idea, not “b*tchslapping.”

    That’s why our founders created this great nation.

    That’s the difference between empire and republic.

    That’s why neocons are akin to the British of the 18th century. 😉

    Happy Fourth!!!


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