Archive for August, 2012

A to Z–Barack Obama’s case for Barack Obama

Monday, August 20th, 2012

The Obama governing plan from A to Z

As part of C-Span’s ongoing commitment to covering issues so boring that even we cannot pretend to care, we showed a press conference by President Barack Obama. He was speaking about his favorite subject, President Barack Obama. His remarks were carried live from Sesame Street, home of the Children’s Television Workshop. Here is his reelection message from A to Z.

http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/tygrrrr-express/2012/aug/19/sesame-street-obama-case-obama/

eric

NFL 2012–Preseason Week 2 Raiders Recap

Sunday, August 19th, 2012

The Oakland Raiders defense looked fantastic but inept offense and special teams meant a 3-0 loss at home to the Dallas Cowboys to start the Dennis Allen era.  Only four days later they played their second preseason game on the road against the Arizona Cardinals.

The Raiders looked awful on their opening series as a couple of Carson Palmer incompletions and a 3rd and 10 running play blown up in the backfield meant a 3 and out and a punt. A 68 yard punt went to return Patrick Peterson, who has the potential to be the next Devon Hester. Peterson returned it 43 yards to the Oakland 42. On 3rd and 8, Kevin Kolb fired a 17 yard completion. Ryan Williams did much of the rest, and his 4 yard touchdown run up the middle made it look easy as the Cardinals took a 7-0 lead only 4 minutes into the game.

For the second straight series Jacoby Ford took a kickoff deep in the end zone and came up well short of the 20. A pair of runs to Darren McFadden gained only 2 yards. However, on 3rd and 8 from the 20, Palmer found Jacoby Ford for 16 yards and a first down. Palmer then hit Darriud Heyward-Bey for 14 yards with roughing the passer adding 15 more. McFadden then picked up 22 and another 4. On 2nd and 6 from the Arizona 13, Palmer threw a perfect pass to the end zone and Heyward-Bey dropped it. On 3rd down Palmer threw  a pass off his back foot to the end zone. Rod Streater made a miraculous catch, but on further review it was ruled that the ball hit the ground incomplete. The Cardinals were called for defensive pass interference, giving the Raiders 1st and goal at the one.

Darren McFadden got two carries that went nowhere, and a 3rd own play action pass resulted in Palmer throwing out the back of the end zone. In a very curious decision on 4th and goal at the one, Dennis Allen decided on the field goal. To do this early in a preseason game makes little sense. However, with the Raiders failing to score last week, perhaps Allen wanted to just see points. The 19 yard chip shot was good, but the Raiders trailed 7-3 in a drive that started strong and ended with a missed opportunity. Last year the Raiders had problems finishing drives and games, and it cost them.

The Cardinals began their second drive on their own 5. On second down Kolb was called for intentional grounding just outside the end zone. On 3rd and long from their own 1, Kolb got buried in the end zone by Tommy Kelly for the safety. The Raiders trailed 7-5. In unrelated news, Tommy kelly is adopting the Ben Hardin tradition of being a black man with an Orthodox Jewish beard.

Jacoby Ford took the free kick at the 18 and returned it 21 yards to the 39. Ford caught a pass for 9 yards and then went off the field limping. Injuries killed the Raiders last year, with McFadden, Ford, and Denarius Moore being the key ones. Moore was out of this game was a hamstring injury suffered in minicamp. McFadden was healthy, but now Ford was going to the locker rooms again.

On 3rd and 1 just shy of midfield, after burning a timeout, McFadden got the first down. McFadden took a swing pass 17 yards to the Arizona 31. On 3rd and 2 Palmer found a wide open McFadden by the sideline. However, a sure touchdown instead was an incompletion. The throw was too close to the sideline and McFadden did not get his second foot down. The replay actually did show McFadden getting both feet down, but in another strange decision Coach Allen did not challenge the call. Another drive ended prematurely although Seabass hit the 40 yard field goal, his second of the night, to have the Raiders up 8-7 after the opening quarter.

The Raiders defense looked very strong on the next series as Tyvon Branch, Wheeler, and Shaughnessy all met at Kevin Kolb and belted him. The Cardinals punted and the Raiders started at their own 42. Disaster immediately struck as Palmer tried to force a ball into coverage that was intercepted and returned 64 yards to the Oakland 4. On 2nd and goal from the 3, Kolb faded back and just avoided a sack by completing a pass to an ineligible offensive lineman. That was compounded by holding, setting up 3rd and goal at the 13. Under heavy pressure on the next play, Kolb dumped it off for a one yard loss. Jay Feely hit a 32 yard field goal to put the Cardinals up 10-8 early in the second quarter.

McFadden appeared done for the night although Palmer stayed in. With Michael Bush in Chicago, the backup to McFadden is Mike Goodson. Goodson fumbled, and the Cardinals took over at the Oakland 22. Kolb was also done for the night after a miserable quarter plus of work. John “Red” Skelton came in and looked good right away, completing a couple passes to set up 3rd and 2 from the Raiders 4.  Skelton hit a wide open Sherman out of the flat for an easy touchdown to put the Cardinals up 17-8.

Things got worse for the Raiders on their next series. They failed to convert on 3rd and 3. A backup punter not named Shane Lechler saw a special teams breakdown. The punt was blocked and returned for an easy touchdown. The Raiders were now getting trounced 24-8 midway through the second quarter. An illegal block on the next series had the Raiders starting on their own 7 yard line.

The Raiders received a break on 3rd and 1 when a pass to Rod Streater initially looked short but was ruled a first down. The offense looked anemic without McFadden, and Palmer did not have much experience working with Goodson. On 2nd and 11 a shovel pass to Goodson was fumbled, and then the Cardinals fumbled it right back. It was Goodson’s 2nd fumble of the night, but somehow the Raiders ended up with 1st and 10 the hard way. Godson had his bell rung on the play, and went to the locker room.

The Raiders were looking terrible on offense from a turnover standpoint, but not from a penalty standpoint. For the second straight game they were not getting flagged that often. They had “only” 5 penalties last week and were playing fairly clean this week. They finally did pick up an offensive holding penalty. The Raiders received another lucky break when a hard hit on Darrius Heyward-Bey was ruled unnecessary roughness. Heyward-Bey did receive contact to the head.

On 3rd and 5 from the Arizona 46, Palmer found Rod Streater for what appeared to be a first down. It was ruled short and this time Dennis Allen did challenge the spot. For all the talk about replacement officials, they got this one right. On further review the call was reversed based on forward progress, and the Raiders had 1st and 10 at the Arizona 41. Palmer rolled out and took off for an 11 yard gain. Although Palmer got out of bounds, for some reason the clock kept ticking to the 2 minute warning. Nobody seemed to question this.

Under heavy pressure, Palmer somehow found Streater for a short gain. Another short pass to Streater meant another first down. Lonyae Miller barreled forward for a tough 9 yard gain and another short gain to set up 1st and goal at the 7. On 2nd and goal at the 3 the Raiders finally took their second timeout with 20 seconds left. A pair of incompletions meant another failed attempt inside the 5 yard line. Sebastian Janikowski hit the 21 yarder as the Raiders trailed 24-11 at halftime. They had gone 6 quarters without a single touchdown.

The second half started badly for the Raiders when Powell took the kickoff 8 yards deep in the end zone and returned it for the Cardinals to their own 40. Yet Skelton quickly threw a ball that was underthrown and intercepted by Chimmy Chekwa. The Raiders took over at their own 33. Palmer played the first half, and former Arizona bust Matt Leinart came in at quarterback for the Raiders. Lonyae Miller carried a couple times for a first down. Captain Checkdown Leinart looked to go deep but naturally checked down to a nearby receiver. On 3rd and 3 Leinart found Eddie McGee for a 2 yard gain. For those who despise the West Coast Offense and quarterbacks like Matt Leinart, that one play symbolized it perfectly. Dink and Dunk became dink and punt. Stats are padded without the scoring results.

Yet the Raiders received another lucky break when the Cardinals had 12 men on the defense during the punt. Defensive penalties were the best way for the Raiders to get first downs. Given knew life, Leinart threw a duck in the air that was badly underthrown. Yet Creiner adjusted and the defender did not, giving the Raiders 1st and 10 just outside the red zone. On 3rd and 12 from the 17, Leinart threw another incompletion. However the Raiders received yet another break when defensive pass interference made it 1st and goal at the one. Lonyae Miller was initally stopped short, but a second effort finally got he Raiders into the end zone. The extra point was blocked but the Raiders were within 24-17.

Skelton looked impressive in his limited time, rendering further play unnecessary. The Cardinals third string quarterback came in. The Raiders had their backups in on defense as well. A pair of terrible mistackles on short passes meant an Arizona first down. A false start had Arizona facing 3rd and 12. One short pass later and they were punting. Now it was time to see if Leinart could tie the game against a backup defense. A backup punt returner fielded it at the 3 yard line rather than letting it go into the end zone. The Raiders took over at their own 13.

On 3rd and 9 Leinart threw a solid ball to Brandon Carwell for a 19 yard gain. An end around that almost resulted in a big loss gained 8 yards. Another completion by Leinart had the Raiders past the midstripe. Leinart avoided a sack and threw the ball away before getting blasted. Roughing the passer was called as the helmet to helmet shot had the Raiders at the Arizona 30. At that point the Cardinals had 10 penalties for 103 yards and the Raiders had 2 for 17 yards.

The hit on Leinart resulted in Terrell Pryor coming in at quarterback sooner than expected as the trainers looked at Leinart on the sidelines. Pryor began with a false start, a loss, and a sack. Now it was 3rd and 25. The Raiders ran the ball for only 3 yards as long field goal range instead became a punt.

The Chris Berman phrase “rumbling, bumbling, stumbling” was an accurate description next. The third string Arizona quarterback faced 3rd and 8 from the Cardinals 20. Carl Ihenacho came from the outside and chopped the ball free. The fumble was picked up cleantly by Hall Davis at the 5. Davis fell down but rolled into the end zone untouched. The extra point was good as the game was tied 24-24 after three quarters.

Lindley is the third string Arizona quarterback, and from midfield he benefitted from running back Powell. Powell gained about 11. Lindley then fired deep to the sideline. Demarco Harrison outjumped two defenders to set up 1st and goal. Powell then took an off-tackle handoff and practically walked into the end zone to put the Cardinals back on top 31-24 with 11 1/2 minutes left.

After a touchback, Miller ran a couple times to set up 3rd and 2. Yet Pryor could only scramble for one more yard as the Raiders punted again. The Raiders received a gift on the next series when the Cardinals fumbled and Oakland took over at the Arizona 40. Yet Pryor could do nothing and a false start meant 3rd and 13. A short pass set up 4th and 5 from the 35. With 5 1/2 minutes left in the game, Coach Allen decided not to go for it. Backup kicker Carmona nailed the 53 yard field goal but the Raiders still trailed 31-27. The had to get the ball back.

The Cardinals soon faced 3rd and 6 at their own 28. Lindley went deep to Williams for 31 yards. James then got the ball  6 straight times. The 5th of those carries came with 1:48 to play and the Cardinals facing 3rd and 5 at the Oakland 25 after the Raiders had taken their second timeout. The carry went for 14 yards and the Raiders never got the ball back. The Cardinals bled the final 5 1/2 minutes off the clock.

The Raiders starters looked good on defense after the opening touchdown from a short field. They beat up Kevin Kolb but John Skelton looked much better. Darren McFadden still looks fantastic, and Palmer is simply a better player with McFadden in the lineup. Leinart got hurt again and unfortunately so did Jacoby Ford. Both lost last year to injury.

The special teams for the Raiders are a mess, not counting their two standouts Lechler and Seabass. They gave up long returns. Raider fans should not be excited based on these two games. While the finals cores don’t count, a win would be nice. Last year Hue Jackson went 0-4 in preseason and won the regular season opener, as the Raiders went 7-4 before collapsing down the stretch under injuries.

One positive for the Raiders is the drastically reduced number of penalties. One negative is the increase in turnovers. Mike Goodson has fumbleitis, and Pryor has a long way to go before becoming an NFL quarterback. In the end, like with every preseason game, we learn nothing. So why do we talk about it? Because we love football. 31-27 Cardinals

eric

NFL 2012–Preseason Week 1 Raiders Recap

Saturday, August 18th, 2012

Return to the Black Hole–The first full week of the 2012 NFL preseason had one game left. The Oakland Raiders hosted the Dallas Cowboys on Monday Night Football.

Everything is different about the Raiders. With the passing of Owner Al Davis last year, his son Mark has completely restructured the organization. The team has a general manager for the first time in years with the hiring of Reggie McKenzie. Head Coach Dennis Allen is new. Both McKenzie and Allen are participating in their very first game in their roles.

Before the game, ESPN announcer Jon “Chucky” Gruden was greeted very warmly by the Black Hole. After seven long months, the Raiders were finally playing football. For those like myself who detest preseason, I watch it because it is something.

Quarterback Carson Palmer is in his first full season with the silver and black. Yet everything on the offense comes down to running back Darren McFadden. McFadden is electric when healthy, but gets injured far too often.

The offense started out strong. McFadden ran for four yards. Then Palmer hit McFadden on a West Coast swing pass, which McFadden took 18 yards. Then McFadden took a handoff another 16 yards. From just past midfield, Palmer went for the bomb. The ball was thrown into double-coverage and intercepted.

The Raiders were a mess on defense last year. When Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo his wide receiver Dez Bryant for a 24 yard gain, it looked like more of the same. Yet the defense held, and the first penalty of the game was a false start on the Cowboys. A good punt had the Raiders beginning their next drive at their own eight yard line.

McFadden was done for the night. With Michael Bush having been traded to the Chicago Bears, keeping McFadden healthy is more important than ever. The Raiders are not the same team without him, and their first penalty for offensive holding soon followed. On 3rd and 4, Palmer could not find anybody and only ran for one yard.

With star punter Shane Lechler out with an injury, the backup punter hit one for 58 yards. Yet a running into the kicker penalty on Dallas gave the Raiders an automatic first down. The Raiders have made these mistakes over the years, so it was pleasant for the home fans to see it the other way.

Given new life, Palmer threw to a wide open Jacoby Ford on 2nd and 3. It bounced off of his fingertips. On 3rd and 3 Palmer went back to Ford and he dropped it again. Ford is a phenomenal kick returner, but he has to get the jitters out and be ready as a receiver. On the punt, Dallas jumped offsides giving the Raiders another automatic first down.

The Raiders now had a third chance on the same drive. Yet Palmer was now done for the night. Matt Leinart came in at quarterback. Leinart has been a major bust in his career, and this may be his last chance to succeed in the NFL. He backed up Palmer at USC and is doing so again. Leinart began handing the ball off three straight times. He then fumbled the snap from center but recovered it himself.

This is where we saw the first major concern for the Raiders. Dennis Allen runs the “West Coast Offense,” which usually caters to quarterbacks without arm strength and teams with no running game. Think “Dink and Dunk with (Trent) Dilfer.” Yet this team has McFadden and Palmer. As for Leinart, his very first pass as a Raider was a Dink and Dunker that gave him a 100% completion percentage with zero first downs picked up. The Raiders punted and this time did not get another chance. The ball should have been downed at the one but the coverage man got greedy and it was ruled a touchback.

The defense certainly looked improved to start the next series. Romo somehow avoided a sack and completed a pass for a 2 yard loss. On the next play Tommy Kelly did get to Romo. On 3rd and 24 from their own 6, the Cowboys handed the ball off and punted. Ford continued his tough start by fumbling the punt with nobody around him. He accidentally stepped out of bounds without gaining any yardage.

On 1st and 10, Leinart went for the play action pass and found a wide open rookie Rod Streater for a 19 yard gain. He then hit Owen Schmidt for another first down but an illegal block negated that as the first quarter ended in a scoreless tie. The second quarter saw Leinart hit Streater again on 2nd and 11 for a first down at the Dallas 34.

Leinart was 4 for 4 on the drive at that point, and a naked bootleg was perfectly executed by Leinart. A wide open receiver had a clear path to the end zone, but the pass was dropped. A delay of game penalty soon meant 3rd and 10. Leinart threw the ball away and was lucky that the replacement referes did not call intentional grounding. Sebastian Janikowski came in for a 52 yard field goal off of the dirt.

The Polish Cannon never had a chance. With normal holder Lechler out, the backup punter and holder could not handle the high snap. Yet another penalty on Dallas moved the ball five yards closer. From 47 yards, still on the dirt, Seabass hit a knuckleballer that was wide. One of the big problems with the Raiders last year was “finishing.” They did not finish drives early on and they did not finish games in the fourth quarter. This was a wasted opportunity.

Cowboys Head Coach Jason Garrett kept his starting offense in the game. On 3rd and 9, Romo found Jason Witten. Yet a pair of defenders wrapped Witten up one yard short of the marker and Dallas punted again. Leinart continued the short passing game, completing a pair of passes to move the chains. Yet on 3rd and 10 Leinart, under pressure, threw another short pass that padded the stats without picking up the first down. The plan of hoping for a defensive penalty on the punt did not work this time.

Tony Romo was finally done for the night, and the new backup in Dallas is Kyle Orton. Orton began last year with Denver and was traded to Kansas City when another player who will not be mentioned took over in Denver.

(He will not be mentioned unless he does something on the football field.)

While Orton is a solid, underrated quarterback, a holding penalty meant 2nd and 19. On 3rd and 9 an Orton pass near the sticks was dropped as Dallas punted again. At the 2 minute warning it was the Raiders facing 3rd and 2. Oakland converted, and Leinart stood strong in the pocket and threw a completed pass just before getting belted. With 1:09 left in the half the Raiders had passed midfield. They got nothing more and punted again.

With little time in the half, Orton threw a pass where only Raiders were in the vicinity. Mike Mitchell intercepted it, and with five seconds left in the half the Raiders had one chance from the Dallas 47. Seabass has the strength for a 64 yard field goal, but breaking the NFL record in preseason seems pointless. Seabass has a share of the record of 63 yards. Rather than try a hail mary, the crowd had to be disappointed when Dennis Allen called a handoff. Al Davis rolled over in his grave as the 0-0 tie went to the locker rooms.

The second half was technically a game of backups, but Kyle Orton was a starter at the end of last year. He came out and threw an 18 yard completion. Unlike some backups who deserve to be, Orton is still good enough to start for most teams. Despite a pair of offensive penalties, defensive pass interference had the Cowboys on the Oakland 19. The defense held after that, but a 33 yard field goal by Bailey had the Cowboys on the board first 3-0 midway through the third quarter.

After an uneventful kickoff, the final draft pick of the Al Davis era stepped on the field. Terrell Pryor had his chance at quarterback. A pair of runs set up a manageable 3rd and 5. Pryor was chased around, escaped, and gained one yard. The Raiders punted as Pryor still did not throw his first pass.

The game truly became about the backups when 3rd stringer Stephen McGee came in at quarterback for Dallas. A 3rd and 15 completion came up two yards short. Since this was preseason, Jason Garrett decided to go for it on on fourth down from just past midfield. McGee’s pass was deflected as the Cowboys turned it over on downs.

Pryor came out throwing this time, and a pair of incompletions meant 3rd and 10. Yet he then hit David Ausberry shy of the marker, and Ausberry broke a tackle for the first down at midfield. Yet another first down was not in the cards as this puntfest continued.

The Cowboys began the fourth quarter and converted a 3rd and 1 from the Oakland 46 on the ground. Yet on the next 3rd down conversion, a dead ball offensive personal foul on Dallas killed the drive. For the opening preseason game, despite 0 points, the Raiders were remarkably disciplined while the Cowboys were being flagged frequently.

On the next Oakland series the Raiders faced 3rd and 4. Pryor threw low and incomplete. Yet defensive holding on Dallas gave the Raiders another gift first down. On 3rd and 7 Pryor scrambled all over the place, avoided a sack, and ran past the marker. We know he can run. The question is if he can throw. Pryor then went deep and benefitted from defensive pass interference, putting the Raiders on the Dallas 25. A draw play on 3rd and 4 only gained one yard. Eddie Carmona came on for a 36 yard field goal try. He missed it. Seabass was not in danger of losing his job, and now certainly is not.

With 6:44 to play, the Cowboys brought in their fourth string quarterback Rudy Carpenter. He was sacked twice, and fumbled once, recovering it himself. A dangerous attempt to return the bouncing, rolling punt was luckily recovered by the Raiders. They took over at their own 22 with 4 1/2 minutes left. A pair of short passes moved the chains. Pryor again showed amazing ability to scramble and avoid sacks but his throwing mechanics were not good. On 3rd and 14 he threw a wobbler that was caught for a first down at the two minute warning.

On 3rd and 2 Pryor scrambled for the first down and got out of bounds at the Dallas 40. with 1:18 to play. At this point announcer Jon Gruden probably had no idea that he created a funny sound bite when he said that a Dallas player “beat Wang inside.” Things were not so funny for the Raiders on the next play when the Dallas defense finally caught the scrambling Pryor and sacked him. On 3rd and 26 with one minute to go, Pryor threw low and was almost intercepted. On 4th and 26 Pryor was intercepted.

While the score would indicate a terrible football game, it was not as badly played for the Raiders. The Cowboys looked awful, even getting a delay of game penalty while trying to take a knee. I am not sure I have seen that before. Dallas did take a knee to end things. As with most preseason games, what we learned from this one was practically nothing. 3-0 Cowboys

eric

Expendables 2 Testosterone Friday

Friday, August 17th, 2012

EXPENDABLES 2 ALPHA MALE FRIDAY

Today is Testosterone Alpha Male Friday.

Take the bad guys, blow (redacted) up, and shove the American flag up their hide until they go to the toilet red, white, and blue. Then pull their trousers down, and either hang the flag from their blankety-blanks or take a cattle prod and brand a tattoo of Uncle Sam on their hides.
To paraphrase a famous NFL quarterback after a Super Bowl loss, we need to take the bad guys and hand them their hides on a platter and make sure the tray is bent.

It’s time for Expendables 2!

http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/tygrrrr-express/2012/aug/16/expendables-2-alpha-male-friday/

eric

Obama Fiddles when Syria and the FRC burn

Thursday, August 16th, 2012

From Syria to the Family Research Council, President Obama remains indifferent

From Syrian genocide to the leftist shooting at the Family research Council, as the world burns, one hard question needs to be asked about the very leader of that free world. Does President Obama even care?

http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/tygrrrr-express/2012/aug/15/syria-family-research-council-and-obamas-silence/

eric

Paul Ryan has a plan, Barack Obama has platitudes

Wednesday, August 15th, 2012

Barack Obama–The man with no plan

President Obama said that he and Congressman Paul Ryan have fundamentally different plans on governing. Of course they do. Mr. Ryan actually has one.

Mr. Obama, what is your plan?

http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/tygrrrr-express/2012/aug/14/paul-ryan-vs-barack-obama-man-plan-vs-flash-pan/

eric

Paul Ryan the intellectual GOP elephant vs Obama the intellectual ant

Tuesday, August 14th, 2012

Vice President Paul Ryan–Why Democrats are in sheer panic

When Governor Mitt Romney chose Congressman Paul Ryan to be his running mate, Democrats dutifully did their jobs and claimed victory. Mr. Ryan would be a boon to President Obama. Behind the cameras, Democrats curled up in the fetal position in sheer panic.

http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/tygrrrr-express/2012/aug/12/vice-president-paul-ryan-why-democrats-are-sheer-p/#disqus_thread

eric

The Helen Thomas Top 10 Ugliest Women in Politics

Monday, August 13th, 2012

The Helen Thomas Top 10 Ugliest Women in Politics

On June 21, 2012, the Top 30 Hottest Political Women of 2012 were unveiled.

http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/tygrrrr-express/2012/jun/21/top-30-hottest-political-women-2012/

Weeks later, hate mail from over-privileged, white college girls from Brandeis who would not know the meaning of oppression poured in.

http://tygrrrrexpress.com/2012/07/the-radical-feminist-brandeis-july-hate-mail-edition/

On Independence Day, the idea to reveal the Top 10 Ugliest Women in Politics was born. To avoid repetition, the methodology was dealt with in great detail.

http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/tygrrrr-express/2012/jul/17/prequel-top-10-ugliest-women-politics/

Here is the official list of the Helen Thomas Top 10 Ugliest Women in Politics.

http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/tygrrrr-express/2012/aug/12/helen-thomas-top-ten-ugliest-women-politics/

eric

In Olympics news…Oh, nobody cares!

Sunday, August 12th, 2012

In London 2012 Olympics news….oh, nobody cares!

The Olympics are so boring that Mitt Romney chose Paul Ryan to be his running mate without fear of depressed media coverage.

The Olympics are so boring that Debbie Wasserman-Schultz went on Fox News in the hopes somebody would watch her instead.

The Olympics are so boring that NFL pre-season football will remind Americans what real sports are.

The Olympics are so boring that the biggest splashes come in opening and closing ceremonies. Football is not dependent on the halftime show.

When I say football, I mean American football, not “futbol.”

For all the feel-good pablum about competition and the best of the world spirit, the truth is a bunch of nations use professional athletes instead of amateurs. They all cheat. Since everybody does it, somehow that makes it acceptable. The United Nations might be the only entity more corrupt than the International Olympic Committee.

Is there anything to be thankful for?

Yes, the games are over. The empty seats no longer have to be explained. Most importantly, the United States won more medals than France.

This concludes my London 2012 Olympics report. For more coverage, Greg Gutfeld of “Redeye” has a correspondent pretending to be in London.

eric

Paul Ryan chosen as Democrats blame him for life’s ills

Saturday, August 11th, 2012

Paul Ryan murders puppies and kittens

Governor Mitt Romney shook up the presidential race by naming Wisconsin Congressman Paul Ryan as his running mate. While Mr. Ryan is tall, has good hair, and is inoffensive, this is not a safe choice. Mr. Romney went bold.

Democrats were waiting for the choice so they could decide whether to declare the person “stupid” or “evil,” since that is how they categorize every conservative. So let’s just get the boring and predictable attacks out of the way.

Paul Ryan murders puppies and kittens.

http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/tygrrrr-express/2012/aug/11/paul-ryan-murders-puppies-and-kittens/

eric