Hanukkah 2012 Night 6–Happy Hanukkah Hate Mail

Hanukkah Hate Mail

Since Hanukkah is a Neocon holiday that validates being a Jewish Republican, it makes sense that Jewish Republicans are among the most hated people on Earth. Heck, even many Jewish people despise Jewish Republicans. So in the Hanukkah spirit, nothing says Hanukkah like people hating me and those like me for simply being. Here is a special batch of Hanukkah hate mail. Parental advisory, explicit lyrics.

“dude
Colbylawrence88@hotmail.com

are you dumb and fat and privy to money?  poor guy”

Analysis: I wish, dude. Supporting the Obama voters can be very draining.

“Citizen Kane
r@r.com

You are an idiot”

“me me
me@me.com

Why are you such a douche?”

“Pissed
dix@dick.com

Why are you such a douchebag?”

“Zane Mcbain
mifake.ackount@gmail.com

Your picture makes you look like you suck cock. You should change it. Just saying…

“Douglas Hamilton
dhamilton2002@gmail.com

Are you serious or just a total idiot?”

Analysis: These are what liberals consider intelligent and thoughtful discourse. The amount of time they took to write that could have been spent helping make the world a better place. If they could, they would.

“joe palmer
palmerjw@mindspring.com

Is this a hoax? You seem to be setting up the reader for some sort of funny "gotcha"  I hope for your sake this was all written in jest. If not I feel very bad for your parents. Time to get serious son.”

Analysis: Bringing up somebody’s parents is the sign of somebody who never left the school playground. Perhaps President Obama wrote this himself.

“Troy Christensen
info@vac-lift.com

Mr Golub

You got Hannukah wrong.   It started as a civil war among Jews, at least what history books say.

The Greeks just took the wrong side … later.

Also, Zion is much a product of Christianity than other forces.

Also, the entire world is in debt to America service men and allowed Christian UK to give Palestine to Zion.

Please revise your article !”

Analysis: It is one thing to be an anti-Semitic commenter. This commenter wants me to just write the anti-Semitic column for him. Now that is a creative lunatic.

“Likeyou dontknow
Likeyou@dontknow.com

After trying to reach ANYONE at "The Washington Times" for the length of a few phone calls, being misdirected by a faulty operator, I've decided to use this method of communication.  You've recently run an article entitled "What Pearl Harbor and Hanukkah teach us about Syria and Iran". While I find it insulting to my intelligence that you would take the leap of comparing any of the things in said title, this is besides the point.  In the article, you go on to comment "The Israel that exists today is a direct result of their bravery".  This is one of the most repulsive things I've read from a mainstream media outlet, and trust me I've read some repulsive things (arguably everything that comes from mainstream media outlets is repulsive).  I will correct your statement:  The Israel that exists today is a direct result of the Rothschild family and their illuminati bloodlines trying to suck the consciousness out of everyone on the planet.

p.s. God bless”

Analysis: The only illuminati I care about are the beautiful illuminations resulting from Hanukkah candles shining bright. Besides, the holy land is Brooklyn, right by Coney Island. So he should attack the makers of Nathan’s hot dogs and the creator of the Cyclone. Also, the Rothschilds never gave me anything but I had lunch with the Rothsteins last week and they picked up the tab. That was very gracious of them. They don’t like this commenter either.

“Jeremy Hedlind
jhedlind22@yahoo.com

Your recent article:  “Fiscal cliff solution: How the GOP can make Obama cave” is the worst article I have partially read in years.  Your thoughts are so disorganized and meaninglessly thrown together it reminds me of a grazing cow.  Your barely disguised anger pollutes your thoughts and leaves the article  without clarity of thought.

In view of this, I want to ask you a few questions.  Did you graduate with a degree in journalism, or are you just a freelance hack?  Has your university denied you matriculated there yet?  Oooh….scratch that.  Too many syllables, I know.  Has your school denied you attended there?  I am sure when this steamer gets to them, someone in the Journalism department will scratch you from the list of alumni.

USC MBA?  Thank god, I did not consider that school for my MBA program.  I would think any respectable U.S. MBA program would require at least a basic mastery of the English language.  Were you not required to take the GRE?  Did you buy your way out of it?

Laying all your lack of credibility and lack of credentials aside you should ask yourself what your original point was in writing that editorial.  You should attempt a rewrite without spewing that frothy bile into your prose.  Your anger doesn't help, and it certainly clouds any legitimate thought you tried to put into the article.  In short, it makes you look stupid.  You can try again, and if you come up with some worthwhile commentary for the national stage, try again.  Otherwise, go back to coloring.

Your current article is an embarrassment to yourself, to the profession of Journalism, and most definitely an embarrassment to the Times.

Jeremy Hedlind”

Analysis: This might be my dad. No wait, he does not like to use the keyboard. Unfortunately, this fellow might be somebody’s dad, which does not bode well for the next generation having a fighting chance at normalcy. Drinking and driving is illegal. In his case, perhaps hallucinogens and typing on keyboards should be legislated. Google this guy. His rantings are quite entertaining.

Say it with me everybody. These are liberals and Palesimians. This is how they behave.

Happy Hanukkah and stay safe, especially if you’re a Republican Jew in Michigan. Unions prefer thugs to hugs.

eric

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