The Fiscal Cliff GOP victory plan

Fiscal cliff solution: How the GOP can make Obama cave

As Republicans prepare to cave on the fiscal cliff and raise taxes in the grand tradition of President George Herbert Walker Bush, there is hope. Democrats and Republicans are united in the belief that President Obama has all the leverage. This is absolutely wrong. Republicans can easily win this skirmish and make Obama cave in a heartbeat. The answer is right in front of their faces, and they do not see it. The GOP has the ultimate leverage.

Here is the sanitized version of this column.

Now below for the raw, uncensored version.

The deadline is not December 31st, as many people believe. With regards to income taxes, people do not need to send in their returns until the following April 15th. With an extension, they have until October 15th. Yet with a host of other taxes to start taking effect only two weeks into 2013, the real deadline is sooner.

Yet it is still not December 31st of 2012. The deadline is not even December 21st, which for some is the end of days. The real deadline is December 17th.

December 17th is when President Obama begins his vacation. Given that President Obama is not Jewish, he can spend the entire Hanukkah holiday (December 8-16) getting angrier and more belligerent as the GOP risks cutting into his twenty days of vacation. Anybody minimizing how vital this deadline is to him has not observed him. He is very serious about his leisure time.

Critics will ask the vacation question. Vacation from what? Doesn’t a person have to “do” something to take a break from it? Between Hurricane Sandy victims, Benghazi, and the fiscal cliff, can’t this president for once in his life actually just show up and do real work?

This is not about race or ideology. He is just lazy. Mitt Romney was pilloried for implying that those who voted for Obama were also lazy individuals wanting free stuff. What evidence disputes this? As for Mr. Obama, is hobbies growing up were hanging out on the beach in Hawaii with recreational pharmaceuticals. He was a stoner and a slacker. He gave up drugs, but  that did not come with an increased work ethic. Go back and observe videotape of him in the days leading up to a vacation. He gets chippy, and has a harder edge. The only thing that makes him angrier than being forced to do the work of governing is being called out his refusal to do it.

We are going over a fiscal cliff because he will not make a single hard choice. He will not stand up to his liberal base. He will not cut one dollar of domestic discretionary spending. In fact, he actually increases spending.

Obama will not cut anything because every liberal program is a sacred cow. Cows are not meant to be sacred. They are meant to be butchered, cooked black, and served with potatoes. Politicians must take a meat cleaver to the budget, give us back our money, and let Americans enjoy a decent dinner for once. President Obama will not do this.

Even more controversial than beef is pork, the other white meat. As America heads over the fiscal cliff, liberal bankrupt Detroit wants more “free” Obama money. A 300 pound black female Detroit councilwoman named Joann Watson publicly demanded that President Obama give her more bacon. If Obama cares about her, he should reject her request and instead include free cholesterol checks as part of Obamacare (In the spirit of holiday giving, Americans should mail her bacon strips).

President Obama is incapable of governing, so instead he resorts to weapons of mass distraction including wars on women and blacks. His supporters are gleefully carrying his water as everything around them crumbles. It was Jason Whitlock who said that guns and drugs were a white plot to kill black people. If so, he should then demand that McDonalds and Burger King be banned since black people are much more likely than white people to die of heart disease. Government keeps claiming they are going to cut down on the pork. Banning Mr. Whitlock and Ms. Watson from eating McRibs is a good start. It makes fiscal sense, and is an act of life-saving compassion.

Republicans are always the bad guys because they have to be the adults. They stand up and say “No more sacred cows. No more bacon. No soup for any of you!” In return, Republicans are called (soup) Nazis among other things. Those who want to cut taxes and spending are referred to as “hostage takers.”

President Obama knows how to call Republicans names. That is what schoolyard bullies do. Yet this is not kindergarten, and America is not a school playground. Mr. Obama does not know this because he has never left the playground. He thinks that campaigning is governing. He sees flying around the country at taxpayer expense “rallying the faithful” to be the equivalent of sitting in a room with the GOP leadership and actually rolling up his sleeves.

The Obama plan is to use the lapdog media to make Republicans cave into voting for higher taxes. That funds the government for the entire length of Hanukkah, eight days. What about the remaining 357 days? What is his plan?

If children are forced to do their homework before going outside and playing, shouldn’t presidents be forced to do their governing work before playing golf on vacation in Hawaii?

The GOP needs to let the American people know that they will delay their vacations until the fiscal crisis is solved. Then they should recommend Obama do the same and put the pressure back on him. President Obama last year snapped at House Majority Leader Eric Cantor “Don’t call my bluff.”

The entire GOP should call his bluff because he is bluffing. Treat him like the student who had forever to complete a paper and is now approaching the deadline. He will panic, and turn in shoddy work. Then call him out on that until he goes back and revises his work into something resembling real effort.

Like a student who knows he has met the professor he cannot fool, President Obama will drop his facade if it means missing the chance to escape to his safe, happy place away from actual responsibilities.

December 17th is approaching, and President Obama is getting nervous. It is time for Republicans to hold his vacation “hostage.” He would not fight for the country,  but he sure knows how to fight for himself. Hold his vacation as ransom, and he will cave and sign anything.


Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.