Archive for December, 2013

NFL 2013: NFC Playoff Permutations and Combinations

Thursday, December 26th, 2013

NFC Playoff Picture


NFL 2013: AFC Playoff Permutations and Combinations

Thursday, December 26th, 2013

AFC Playoff Picture


Christmas 2013 quick update

Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

Bowling alleys, Chinese food, and tv sports were invented so Christians would not be bored on Hanukkah. 

For those wondering what Jews do on Christmas, we do the stuff normal people do every day. NFL Network. Christians have Christmas Dinner. We do something similar. We just call it “dinner.”

“To Christians, Merry Christmas. To Jews, Happy Hanukkah. To Atheists, hope you win the lottery dude.”

That joke from comedian Anthony Clark never gets old.

In the first annual Christmas Day Indoor Bowl Game, I was defeated by 6-year-old Daniel Goldberg 51-35. He is the same kid who beat me 28-21 in the inaugural Thanksgivigukkah Football Classic. What makes this defeat so tough is that I had home field advantage.

This concludes the Christmas 2013 quick update.

Happy Festivus to the rest of us, Winter Solstice to others, and blissful end of days to the Mayans.

Merry Christmas to the great Christians who built this nation and continue to make America great.


NFL 2013 Black Monday Predictions

Tuesday, December 24th, 2013

Merry Christmas. You’re fired. Happy New Year. Clean out your desk.

NFL 2013 Black Monday Predictions.

A user guide to Southern rednecks and leftist crybabies

Monday, December 23rd, 2013

Duck Dynasty, GLAAD, and a ton of unanswered questions

The political silly season has Americans debating about Duck Dynasty and the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD). For those not paying attention, a guy known for saying offensive stuff said offensive stuff.






NFL 2013 Week 16 Recap

Sunday, December 22nd, 2013

NFL 2013 Week 16 Recap


Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills—A 45 yard Dan Carpenter field goal put the Bills up 3-0. Fred Jackson ran it in from 9 yards out in the second quarter to make it 10-0 Bills. In the fourth quarter a staggering 19 play, 92 yard, 9 minute drive led to a 21 yard Carpenter field goal and a 13-0 Bills lead. Carpenter then hit from 22 and 26 to complete the scoring and all but end Miami’s slim playoff hopes. 19-0 Bills




New Orleans Saints at Carolina Panthers— Drew Brees and Cam Newton were both intercepted in the red zone in a scoreless opening quarter. In the second quarter Shane Graham hit a 40 yard field goal to get the Saints on the board first. Sean Payton the called a surprise onside kick that was executed perfectly. This was not the Super Bowl, but it was for the right to have a much easier playoff path to the big game. It led to a 24 yard Graham field goal and a 6-0 Saints lead. At the 2 minute warning Brees had a pass tipped and intercepted at the Saints 43. Despite having zero offense, one play later DeAngelo Williams raced for the touchdown and the 7-6 Panthers lead.


In the third quarter a 52 yard field goal for the Saints became a fake, and this time the gamble failed. It led to a 40 yard Graham Gano field goal and a 10-6 Panthers lead. Then a storm broke out as hard wind and rain came down. After a torrential scoreless third quarter, the rain left as quickly as it came for the fourth quarter. The Saints were pinned at their own three yard line, but Brees moved them 97 yards as an 11 yard touchdown pass to Jimmy Graham completed the 11 play, 6 minute drive to make it 13-10 Saints with 6 /2 minutes left in regulation.


Defense dominated all game, and the Panthers had one final chance with 55 seconds left at their own 35, 0 timeouts, and no Steve Smith who went out earlier with a leg injury.  Newton fired to Tedd Ginn Jr. for a 37 yard gain and Greg Olsen for 14 more. From the Saints 14, Newton shucked off a blitzing defender and fired to Hixon in the end zone for the touchdown with 23 seconds left. Just like that, the entire NFC playoff picture was altered.


Brees moved the Saints after a touchback to the Carolina 46 with 6 seconds left. The Hail Mary was knocked down inside the 5 yard line. Ron Rivera was almost fired last year, and Newton was regressing. This year the 11-4 Panthers clinched a playoff birth and can win the division and a first round bye with a win next week at lowly Atlanta. This was gutty, December football. 17-13 Panthers




Minnesota Vikings at Cincinnati Bengals—Matt Casse was sacked and fumbled on the third lay of the game, and Dunlap returned it 42 yards to the Minnesota 4 yard line. The Law Firm BenJarvus Green-Ellis scored the touchdown for the 7-0 Bengals lead. Cassel came back to Wright for a 36 yard touchdown to tie the game. Red Rifle Andy Dalton went to AJ Green for a 29 yard touchdown to make it 14-7 Bengals. Vincent Rey then returned an interception of Casse 25 yards for another score and a 21-7 Bengals advantage. Dalton hit Gresham for a 16 yard touchdown and a 28-7 Bengals lead.


In the third quarter Dalton hit Sanu from 7 to make it 35-7 Bengals. Dalton then hit Green for a 2 yard score to make it 42-7. Minnesota managed a garbage touchdown. The win moved the Bengals to 10-5. They need to win next week at Baltimore to win the AFC North. 42-14 Bengals




Denver Broncos at Houston Texans—A 32 yard field goal by Matt Prater had the Broncos on the board first. Bullock hit a 45 harder as Houston tied the game 3-3. On the first play of the second quarter Peyton Manning hit Denarius Thomas for a 36 yard touchdown to put the Broncos up 10-3. Bullock hit from 35 to get the Texans within 10-6, and Prater responded from 25 and 44 to make it 16-6 Broncos at halftime.


In the third quarter Matt Schaub hit Martin for a 15 yard touchdown as the Texans only trailed 16-13. The fourth quarter began with Schaub throwing an interception to set up Denver at the Houston 28. Manning hit Eric Decker for a 10 yard touchdown and a 23-13 Broncos lead. Manning then went back to Decker for a 20 yard touchdown to lock up the game, the AFC West, and a first round bye. Denver still needs to win next week to clinch home field throughout the playoffs. Meanwhile, Manning’s fourth and final touchdown pass was a 25 yard toss to Julius Thomas that put Manning into the history books. He has thrown 51 touchdown passes in 2013, breaking the NFL single season record. He still has next week. 37-13 Broncos





Tennessee Titans at Jacksonville Jaguars—A 45 yard field goal by Rob Bironas put the Titans up 3-0. Chad Henne came back with a 4 yard touchdown to Marcedes Lewis for the 7-3 Jaguars lead. Bironas hit from 52 in the second quarter to get the Titans within 7-6. Chad Henne threw a 7 yard touchdown to Brown to make it 13-6 Jaguars. The extra point was blocked.


In the third quarter Ryan Fitzpatrick was intercepted to give the Jaguars a short field. A 36 yard Josh Scobee field goal made it 16-6 Jaguars.  Shon Greene brought the Titans back with a one yard score to get Tennessee within 16-13. Early in the fourth quarter Fitzpatrick hit Nate Washington for a 30 yard touchdown and a four point Titans lead. Henne was intercepted with 45 seconds to play as the Titans hung on. 20-16 Titans





Indianapolis Colts at Kansas City Chiefs—Jamal Charles broke off a 31 yard touchdown run to make it 7-0 Chiefs. Adam Vinatieri hit a 46 yard field goal to get the Colts within 7-3. In the second quarter, two plays after a Chiefs fumble Andrew Luck threw a 33 yard touchdown to Donald Brown to put the Colts up 10-7. That was the score of their playoff matchup in the 1995 season when Steve Bono threw 3 interceptions, Lin Elliott missed 3 field goals, and Marty Schottenheimer saw another painful defeat.  This time a 45 yard field goal by Vinatieri made it 13-7.


In the third quarter Cassel was intercepted and Brown broke free for a 51 yard touchdown a couple plays later to make it 20-7 Colts. Vinateri’s 3rd field goal from 30 completed this stunning upset. Since starting 9-0, the Chiefs have lost 4 of 6. Both teams are in the playoffs, the Chiefs as a wildcard. Both teams should be dispatched quickly. 23-7 Colts




Dallas Cowboys at Washington Redskins—Michael Spurlock returned a punt 62 yards to the Washington 3 yard line and DeMarco Murray did the rest to put the Cowboys up 7-0. A field position game set up by an 18 yard Santana Moss punt return put Washington on the Dallas 37. Kai Forbath hit a 36 yard field goal to get the Redskins within 7-3 and a 22 harder in the second quarter to have Washington within 7-6. Tony Romo then threw a 14 yard touchdown to Dez Bryant for a 14-6 Cowboys lead.


In the third quarter Kirk Cousins hit Pierre Garcon from 8 yards out to get the Redskins within 14-13. Washington got it back and Alfred Morris ran it in from the 4 to make it 20-14 Redskins. Forbath’s 3rd field goal from 47 early in the fourth quarter made it 23-14 Redskins.


In the fourth quarter Romo moved Dallas 73 yards in 15 plays, taking 9 minutes off the clock. Dallas settled for a 25 yard Bailey field goal to get within 23-17 with 6 minutes to play.  Dallas got it back at their own 13 with 3 1/2 minutes left. At the 2 minute warning, Dallas had 2nd and goal at the one. Murray got the carry and got stopped. on 3rd and goal Murray lost 9 yards. These are the Cowboys, as Jerry Jones prepared to fire everyone. On 4th and goal at the 10, Romo hit Murray for the touchdown and the lead with one minute left. These are the Redskins, as Daniel Snyder prepared to fire everyone. Dallas remained alive at 8-7 for the NFC Least division title. 24-23 Cowboys




Cleveland Browns at New York Jets—A 27 yard Billy Cundiff field goal put the Browns up 3-0. A 5 yard touchdown run by Baker made it 10-0 Browns in the second quarter. Geno Smith threw a 6 yard touchdown to Nelson to get the Jets within 10-7. Gang Green got it back and a 21 yard Nick Folk field goal as the half ended tied the game 10-10.


Early in the fourth quarter, Smith hit Nelson again from 5 yards out to make it 17-10 Jets. Cundiff hit from 21 to get the Browns within 17-13. Smith then moved the Jets 80 yards in 14 plays and 6 1/2 minutes, scrambling the final 17 yards himself with less than 3 minutes to play to lock up the game. 24-13 Jets





Tampa Bay Buccaneers at St. Louis Rams—Rainey got in from one yard out to make it 7-0 Buccaneers. In the second quarter a 13 play, 80 yard, 8 minute drive was completed when Zac Stacy got in from one yard out to tie the game 7-7. A 27 yard run by Stedman Bailey in the second quarter put the Rams up 14-7. Bailey rumbled threw the Bucs defense like they were Oprah Winfrey. The Rams fumbled a punt to set up a 35 yard Ryan Lindell field goal as the half ended with the Buccaneers down 14-10.


Lindell hit from 32 to get the Bucs within 14-13. Greg “The Leg” Zuerlein drilled a 54 yard field goal to make it 17-13 Rams. Zuerlein hit again from 25 and then yet again from 48 to put the game out of reach. 23-13 Buccaneers





Arizona Cardinals at Seattle Seahawks—A 27-yard Steve Hauschka field goal in the second quarter put the Seahawks up 3-0. Jay Feely responded from 39 yards out to tie the game. Feely hit again from 46 to have the Cardinals up 6-3 after three quarters and smelling upset. Seattle fumbled the ensuing kickoff and Arizona recovered at the Seahawks 18. Looking for the knockout blow, Carson Palmer went  to the end zone and was intercepted by Richard Sherman. Arizona got it back and Feely’s third field goal from 26 yards out had the Cardinals up 9-3 with 11 minutes left in regulation.


After 3 1/2 quarters, the end zone was finally reached as Russell Wilson hit Zach Miller for an 11 yard touchdown and a 10-9 Seahawks lead. Yet Palmer led Arizona 80 yards in 10 plays and 5 minutes as a 31 yard touchdown pass to Michael Floyd and a successful 2 point conversion run by Rashaard Mendenhall had the Cardinals up by 7 with just over 2 minutes to play. Wilson immediately went deep and was intercepted by Karlos Dansby.


The Arizona win in front of a shellshocked home crowd got he Cardinals to 10-5 and still alive for the playoffs. The Seahawks could have rested everybody next week. Instead the 12-3 Seahawks still need to win next week at home against St. Louis to lock up the division and home field throughout the playoffs.




New York Giants at Detroit Lions—Josh Brown hit a 41 yard field goal in the first quarter for the Giants, and David Akers answered with a 37 yarder in the second quarter for the Lions. Eli Manning threw a 20 yard touchdown pass to Jernigan to make it 10-3 Giants. Brown hit a 52 yarder just before the half ended for a 13-3 Giants lead.


In the third quarter Bell ran it in from the one to get the Lions within 13-10. Manning was then sacked in the end zone for a safety as the Lions closed to within 13-12. Riddick would then run it in from two yards out and Matthew Stafford hit Fauria for the 2 point conversion as the Lions led 20-13 with 12 minutes left in regulation. Stafford went looking for more and was intercepted by Hill, who returned it 38 yards for a touchdown to tie the game 20-20 with 5 minutes to go.


The teams went to overtime and the Giants were in business with a kickoff return to midfield. Yet the Giants fumbled on the second play from scrimmage. Detroit failed to move the ball, and the Giants got it back at their own 28. On 3rd and 9 Manning hit Randle for 26. On 4th and 7 from the Detroit 42, Tom Coughlin decided to go for it with nothing to lose. Manning hit Jernigan for 15 yards to set up Brown for a 45 yarder to win it. Brown was good, and the Giants with nothing to play for showed how hard they play for Coughlin. The Lions with everything to play for saw themselves eliminated from playoff contention and Jim Schwartz seriously on the coaching hot seat. 23-20 Giants, OT





New England Patriots at Baltimore Ravens—Blount ran it in from one yard out and Tom Brady threw a 4 yard touchdown pass to Shane Vereen as the Patriots jumped to a 14-0 lead after the first quarter. Stephen Gostkowski added a 45 yard field goal in the second quarter and a 42 yarder in the third quarter as the Patriots led 20-0.


Baltimore finally got in the end zone in the fourth quarter, but the Patriots exploded for three touchdowns in the final 2:10 as Blount ran it in and the New England defense recovered a fumble in the end zone and returned an interception for a score. New England finally clinched their division for the 12th time in 13 years and solidly avenged their AFC Title Game loss last year. Baltimore with the loss cannot win their division but will make the playoffs next week if they win at Cincinnati. 41-7 Ravens




Oakland Raiders at San Diego Chargers—After a Raiders punt, the Chargers moved from their own 9 to the Oakland 9. Yet a staggering 16 play, 82 yard drive that took over 9 minutes off the clock only led to a 27 yard Nick Novak field goal. The second quarter began with Philip Rivers fumbling and the Raiders taking over at their own 42. On 3rd and 5 from the Chargers 42, Matt McGloin went deep to Rivera for a 37 yard gain. A rare Darren McFadden sighting saw the non-injured back run for the 5 yard touchdown and the 7-3 Raiders lead.


Rivers was then intercepted at the Oakland 10, but McGloin had a pass bobbled, batted in the air, and intercepted right back with 4 minutes left in the half. From the Oakland 20, Rivers got belted just after throwing an incompletion and received a horrendous roughing the passer call against the Oakland defense. For those in the Raider Nation who believe the officials still hate them, this call fed that belief. Ryan Mathews ran it in from 7 yards out with 3 minutes left to make it 10-7 Chargers


With 1:36 left in the half the Chargers fumbled a punt and the Raiders recovered at the San Diego 16. McGloin hit Marcel Reece for 14 yards. On 3rd and goal at the 2 with 18 seconds left in the half, McGloin threw incomplete. Sebastian Janikowski hit the 20 yard chip shot as the teams took a 10-10 tie into the locker rooms.


A pair of drives in the third quarter showed what has become of the Raiders. Facing 3rd and 4 from their 32, McGloin threw a pass to a wide open receiver in the flat just before getting drilled. The easy first down was lost as the pass was dropped. San Diego got it back at their own 23. The Raiders would give up 15 yards on an imbecilic taunting penalty. On 2nd and 15 from the Oakland 25, Rivers threw incomplete but defensive holding meant another first down. Rivers hit Keenan Allen for the 4 yard touchdown as the Chargers led the undisciplined Raiders 17-10 with 5 minutes left in the third quarter.


Oakland was in full self-destruction mode as they went 3 and out and Novak hit a 48 yarder to make it 20-10 Chargers. The Raiders fumbled the ensuing kickoff and San Diego took over at the Oakland 13. Novak began the fourth quarter with a 28 yard field goal and a 23-10 Chargers lead. Seabass added another field goal and Novak added his fourth field goal with 6 1/2 minutes left.


With 4 1/2 minutes left McGloin went bombs away and the Raiders celebrated a 39 yard touchdown. Yet officials ruled the ball incomplete. Rod Streater clearly hit the ground with 2 hands on the ball and had it ripped out of his hands after the play was over. Again the Raiders got cheated. Another completion to Streater at the 5 yard line was called back by illegal formation. On 3rd and 7  dink and dunk Dennis Allen dump off pass helped burn an entire minute down to the 2 minute warning and left the Raiders with 4th and 4 at the 16. They converted, and with one minute left they faced 4th and inches at the one.


One simple yard. One lousy yard. Then came the false start. Dennis Allen had McGloin line up in the shotgun. With a man in his face, he lobbed a prayer to the end zone. An onside kick would give the Raiders hope. Instead the lob to the end zone was dropped, right through the receiver’s hands. These are the Raiders.


San Diego with the win got to 8-7 and still alive for a playoff spot. They need help. The Raiders at 4-11 need a lot more help, and Dennis Allen will continue inspiring nobody as the losses mount. 26-13 Chargers





Pittsburgh Steelers at Green Bay Packers—Matt Flynn threw a 5 yard touchdown to Boykin for the Packers, and Ben Roethliberger responded with a one yard touchdown toss to Emanuel Sanders to tie the game 7-7. In the second quarter a 14 yard touchdown run by Eddie Lacy had the Packers leading 14-7 in the snow. Shawn Suisham hit a 31 yard field goal as the Steelers trailed 14-10 at halftime.


In the third quarter Big Ben ran for a 13 yard touchdown to put the Steelers in front 17-14. Green Bay came back and on 4th and goal from the 5 Mason Crosby came in for the tying 23 yard field goal. The kick was blocked, but a penalty on Pittsburgh for illegally batting the ball gave the Packers 1st and goal at the 2. Lacy got in and the Packers led 21-17 with 5 1/2 minutes left in the third quarter. Big Ben came back again as an 11 yard touchdown to Spaeth had the Steelers up 24-21. Flynn was the intercepted by Cortez Allen, who returned it 40 yards for a score as the Steelers led 31-21 after three quarters.


In the fourth quarter Crosby came in for another 22 yarders and this time the uneventful kick was good as the Packers trailed 31-24. Green Bay got it back and John Kuhn tan it in from one yard out to tie the game 31-31 midway through the fourth quarter. Green Bay got it back and at the 2 minute warning faced 3rd and 8 at  their own 10. Flynn took off running and was hit by Troy Polamalu. The resulting fumble was recovered by Bret Keisel and his beard at the Green Bay 17.


On 4th and 3 from the 10 with 1:35 to play, Suisham came in for the go-ahead field goal. A terrible blunder by the Packers on defense saw Green Bay jump offsides. This meant an automatic 1st and goal at the 5. Pittsburgh got to down to the one and then Mike Tomlin made a very curious coaching decision. Mike McCarthy was willing to let the Steelers score. Rather than bleed the clock and kick the field goal at the gun, Tomlin had Bell run it in to put the Steelers up 38-31.


Green Bay had no timeouts, but Hyde returned the ensuing kickoff 71 yards to the Pittsburgh 30. Matt Flynn had 1:14 to work the offense. A couple completions got the ball to the 5 yard line, at which point it was McCarthy who made stunning  coaching decisions. He called a running play, which got the ball to the one as the clock ticked down below 30 seconds left. By the time the ball was snapped, 20 seconds remained. A false start was a killer. Since the clock was moving, Green Bay was penalized a 10 second runoff. It was 2nd and goal, but rather than spike the ball immediately and have 8 or 9 seconds to work with, Flynn waited until 3 ticks were left to snap the ball. Flynn threw incomplete and Pittsburgh had the win.


Pittsburgh is only 7-8 and Green Bay 7-7-1. Both of these teams are clinging to playoff life. Both of these coaches have a Super Bowl ring, yet did not show super coaching at the end of this game. 38-31 Steelers



Chicago Bears at Philadelphia Eagles was the Sunday night game. Both of 8-6 these teams came in knowing that they could be anywhere from division champs to out of the playoffs altogether over the next couple weeks. It was all Eagles from the start as Chip Kelly put pedal to metal. Nick Foles threw a 5 yard touchdown pass to Riley Cooper. LeSean McCoy then ran it in from one yard out. Foles then found Captain Morgan Brent Celek for a 10 yard touchdown as the Eagles led 21-0 after the first quarter and never looked back.


In the second quarter the Eagles added a field goal to lead 24-0 and gave up a field goal to lead 24-3 at halftime. In the third quarter Matt Forte was tackled in the end zone for a safety and the Eagles took the free kick and marched to a one-yard McCoy touchdown run and a 33-3 Philadelphia lead. In the fourth quarter Philadelphia blasted Chicago to pieces. Polk had a 10 yard touchdown run, Boykin returned an interception 54 yards for a touchdown, and Brown took a handoff 65 yards for the final score.


Despite the loss, Chicago leads Green Bay by half a game. Those teams have a showdown next week in Chicago. The winner claims the NFC North crown and the loser is out of the playoffs. Despite the win, the Eagles are at archival Dallas next week. The winner of that game wins the NFC East and the loser misses the playoffs. 54-11 Eagles



Atlanta Falcons at San Francisco 49ers was the Monday night game. The 49ers came in to the final game ever at Candlestick Park needing only a win over pathetic Atlanta to clinch a playoff birth and maintain an outside shot at winning their division and home field throughout the playoffs. After a 49 yard first quarter field goal by Phil Dawson, the second quarter had the fans stunned. Stephen Jackson ran it in from 2 yards out and Matt Bryant hit a 35 yard field goal to give the Falcons the 10-3 halftime lead.


The third quarter came down to two critical penalties. On 3rd and 10, Colin Kaepernick threw an incomplete pass only to be bailed out by the Falcons lining up in the neutral zone. Kaepernick would throw a 10-yard touchdown pass to Anquon Boldin to tie the game 10-10. On the next San Francisco series the 49ers faced 3rd and 19 and Kaepernick threw incomplete. A phantom defensive pass interference call led to a 30 yard Dawson field goal and a 13-10 49ers lead.


In the fourth quarter Kaepernick ran it in from 4 yards out to make it 20-10 49ers. Atlanta hung tough as Matt Ryan threw a 39 yard touchdown pass to Roddy White to get the Falcons within 20-17 with 8 1/2 minutes left in regulation. The 49ers responded again as Kendall Hunter broke off a 45 yrs run to set up Frank Gore from one yard out with 5 minutes left to salt it away. 27-17 49ers




NFL 2013 Week 16 Prequel

Sunday, December 22nd, 2013

NFL 2013 Week 16 Prequel


Big players make big plays in big games. John Randall reminds us that “this is when the big dogs come out.” Week 16 features a pair of games where some of the biggest dogs in this quarterback driven league face off.

Here is the NFL 2013 Week 16 Prequel.



Obama’s final press conference of 2013: Worthless to the last drop

Sunday, December 22nd, 2013

Obama’s final press conference of 2013

Although the 2014 State of the Union address is not until January, President Obama took to the microphones for a final 2013 press conference.


President PajamaBoy

Friday, December 20th, 2013

Is PajamaBoy really President Obama? What would the Duck Dynasty dudes say about this?



Liberals and airlines: Where everybody is treated lower class

Friday, December 20th, 2013

How liberals destroyed air travel from first class on down

Flying is a necessary evil, especially around holidays. While there are luxuries associated with business travel, perks are decreasing and hindrances are increasing.

On the surface this appears apolitical, but a ton of politics is associated with flying. Like everything else they destroy, liberals and their reverse Midas touch have ruined the flight experience. From trying to check in to getting through security, political correctness makes the airport experience nightmarish. Even first class passengers are not immune.