No, London is not calling

Tonight I was supposed to be on a redeye to London, England.

The purpose of the trip was two-fold. I was to spend Rosh Hashanah with the Jewish community of London. There is nothing like starting the year off getting to know Jewish brunettes with hot, sexy British accents. Also, the Oakland Raiders were playing a game in Wembley Stadium.

My reasons for canceling the trip had nothing to do with radical Islam. When Islamists keep us from flying, they win. The Scottish referendum also played no role. Neither did Pippa Middleton’s refusal to go out with me, since I have yet to officially ask her out.

Bottom line, the Raiders are having a tough year. Today is coach Dennis Allen’s birthday, so I will hold off any comments about him and the team until tomorrow.

The main reason for the cancellation is that the 2014 midterm elections are one month away. While I have not had a vacation in 6 years, right now all GOP and conservative hands need to be on deck. The stakes are too high for me to leave the United States.

Europe does not interest me in the slightest, but at some point I will go before it becomes part of the Islamic Caliphate.

So for those of you in the Los Angeles Jewish community who are near and dear to me, I am home for the holidays and would love to see you all.

Next time, London.




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