More Hillary Clinton Jokes
Power-obsessed Hillary Clinton is consulting polls and focus groups to learn why she’s running for President.
With the gender card failing, Hillary Clinton is now demanding we vote for her since it’s been seven years since we had a man in White House.
Hillary Clinton hired Rachel Dolezal and Rupaul to learn what race and gender she should be. She has vowed to be her real self upon learning what she is.
Hillary Clinton is terrified the FBI will find proof on her server of Bill Clinton‘s eHarmony and Ashley Madison profiles.
The real Hillary Clinton email scandal came when Huma Abedin found out Hillary and Anthony Weiner liked each other on Tinder.
Hillary Clinton is like Glenn Close in “Fatal Attraction.” She will not be ignored. However, In Hillaryworld, the bored bunny rabbit kills himself.
Hillary Clinton sent GOP 2016 presidential contenders her book. She plans to win in 2016 by boring her opponent to death. The GOP candidates vowed to use it to torture Islamist prisoners at Guantanamo Bay.
Hillary Clinton is uncomfortable that her server is backed up. Somebody needs to get her some prune juice and a bran muffin. She’s full of it.
At least Hillary Clinton is willing to compromise to get things done. She’s compromised her integrity, her competence, and America’s safety.
The Dan Rather movie is called “Truth.” The sequel will be a Hillary Clinton bio directed by Rosie O’Donnell called “Kindness.”
O44 strips “man” from all military titles. Makes sense. He had his own title of man stripped years ago by Michelle.
More proof O44 would never survive as a Muslim. “Michelle, Sharia says you have to submit to me.” She’d beat the tar out of him.
O44 only pushing gun control because he’s desperate for a legacy. He should relax. He has a legacy. It’s called failure
3 guys stormed #Trump VT rally. 1 calmly intoned, “I’m Larry, this is my brother Darryl, this is my other brother Darryl.”
Saw 2 people nearly get in fistfight. One yelled #Trump! Other yelled #NoTrump! 80-year old ladies take bridge seriously.
O44 was not crying. His mascara was running.
O44 signs executive order declaring himself competent relevant success
2nd Amendment exists so innocent women can protect themselves from #BillClinton.
Thanks to O44, America’s Star Spangled Banner has been replaced with Smokey Robinson’s “Tears of a clown.”
Am I pro-Israel? The country, yes. Steve Israel, no.
O44 like guy in “Office Space” who can’t be fired. His desk moved to boiler room, he still insists GOP took his stapler. He’s irrelevant.
Clockboy is back, finally confesses to being love child of O44 & Pajamaboy. Allah Clockbar!
If gay Orlando nightclub murderer’s dad wants any credibility, he needs to disavow Hillary Clinton.
Dan Rather attacking Trump. When pressed, Rather claimed his remarks were fake but accurate.
What Trump said about Hillary was nothing. You want violence? Picture what Hillary screamed at Bill in private over his women.
Hillary Clinton’s problem is not that 1/2 the country hates her. It’s that she hates 1/2 the country.
NYT dolt Thomas Friedman says Trump fosters violence. NYT gave away secret troop movements, getting US soldiers killed. Liberal violence. It just never ends. That does not even factor in those who have died from being bored to death reading Thomas Friedman. His columns cause climate change. He’s almost as big a gasbag as John Kerry.
Of course media focused on Trump. Hillary bores them to sleep. Hard to cover a story when you’re in a coma.
If Donald Trump cured cancer, media would blame him for putting doctors out of work.
Hillary Clinton upon getting elected vows to scream at us all until we eat our vegetables.
Trump says he has only had sex with women, not men. Hillary Media claims this is proof of his sexism & homophobia. His discrimination is sickening. True decent human beings don’t discriminate. They act like Bill Clinton and have sex with anything and everything regardless of race, religion or level of ugliness.
Michael Phelps won 23 gold medals. Bill Clinton struck gold with 23 year old interns.
Julian Assange runs Wikileaks. Hillary Clinton too old to run, has a wick that leaks.
Liberal Martin Sheen called Donald Trump “empty headed moron.” Explains why Trump kids are into drugs & hookers. Oh wait. Never mind. I’ll side with Trump values over Martin Sheen Hollywood values.
Secret Service investigating Trump’s comments. Nobody investigating Secret Service South American hookers.
Nutcase climbing Trump Tower. Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton still climbing the walls over Bill’s sex scandals.
Nutcase climbing Trump Tower warned that if he’s captured, he may become backup QB for NY Jets.
Nutcase scaling up Trump Tower almost as fast as Bill Clinton scaling an intern.
Nutcase scaling up Trump Tower is like the Olympics without Zika.
Secret Service is questioning Trump. Meanwhile, decent society is questioning Hillary Clinton.
Unlike Hillary Clinton, Trump Tower nutcase didn’t get anyone killed during his climb to the top. If Hillary loses election, I can see her in the dead of night climbing up Trump Tower or White House, hell-bent on gaining entry. She will ask Bill Clinton for his expertise, but he will tell her that his knowledge consists of sneaking out of the White House, not into it.
Q: Is it ok for any Republican to support Hillary Clinton? A: Only if she’s committing her own euthanasia & you’re Dr. Kevorkian.
If Hillary Clinton spent less time violating God’s 10 Commandments, maybe she’d spend less time violating my 10 Amendments.
When is Hillary Clinton not angry? How can an angry woman who screams all the time lecture anyone else about temperament?
Liberals to boycott McDonalds after learning that Egg McMuffin is running for president as a conservative independent. No word yet on whether the vice presidential nominee will come with bacon, sausage, or for Jews who keep kosher, beef.
Donald Trump never denied eating babies. This is further evidence that he eats babies. This was today’s Liberal Media Report. The only babies harmed during the making of this report were liberals engaged in crying temper tantrums before this report was issued anyway. Their harm was emotional only, and consistent with their lives, not rational.
Publicly Dan Rather says media “must shame” Donald Trump. Privately rather admitted not knowing what shame was. An investigative report concluded that Rather had none. What Rather meant was media must be ashamed of how they cover Donald Trump. Meanwhile, Rather still believes that Hillary Clinton is ethical by Rather standards and that the 2004 memos were fake but accurate.
Democrats should make “Freakout! Le freak, c’est chique” their official campaign song. They freak out over every little thing. Plus it has French words and they worship anything French. This was today’s anti-Donald Trump Liberal Hysteria Disco Report.