Archive for the ‘SPORTS’ Category

NFL 2016 Preseason Week 2 Raiders Recap

Saturday, August 27th, 2016

NFL 2016 Preseason Week 2 Raiders Recap

After a very impressive 31-10 win at the Arizona Cardinals in the opening 2016 preseason game, the Silver and Black took a giant step back. They were at the Green Bay Packers, and there was more cause for concern than comfort.

Aaron Rodgers did not play. This did not matter, as a backup quarterback punched through the Raiders starting defense on a 14 play, 74 yard drive. Eddie Lacy ran the Raiders into the ground. The Packers took a 7-0 lead. Lacy rushed for 45 yards on 9 carries, and on 3rd and goal at the one, the defense could not stop him. The Raiders responded with a field goal on their opening drive.

While it is true that the starting defense did not give up any points the rest of the half, the opening drive was awful. Making matters worse, the starting offense was listless. Derek Carr and his receivers were out of synch.

The Raiders only trailed 7-3 at halftime, but anemic offense is what has plagued the Raiders in recent seasons and prevented them from getting to the next level. Carr completed 9 of 13 passes, but for only 38 yards. That is way too much sinking and dunking. Latavius Murray had 6 carries for only 19 yards, and that was against a Packers defense playing without Julius Peppers and Clay Matthews.

Matt McGloin had success last week, but was only 2 of 5 for 2 total yards in this game. Connor Cook saw extensive playing time and finished 6 of 9 for 101 yards. Yet the offense could only muster 2 field goals the entire game.

The only Raiders touchdown came late in the game on special teams, when they blocked a punt and recovered in the end zone.

The Raiders starters lost to the Packers backups. It is only preseason, but it is not good. 20-12 Packers

NFL 2016 Preseason Week 1 Raiders Recap

Sunday, August 14th, 2016

NFL 2016 Preseason Week 1 Raiders Recap

After 6 long months, the NFL is finally back. As much as we leatherheads love football, we hate preseason. It tells us nothing. We watch it because the olympics and baseball are mind-numbingly boring. The Oakland Raiders kicked off the 2016 preseason against the Arizona Cardinals.

With pre-season games, the final score is unimportant. The goal is to evaluate players, see if you have depth, and get everybody out of their healthy. The Cardinals are a Super Bowl contender. The Raiders are an improved team, but most likely still a year away from being elite. However, it seems the years of frustration are in the past. This team has potential. This game was a measuring stick on what the Raiders could be and what they are.

Starting from their own 26 after a 31 yard kickoff return, Derek Carr immediately threw a 16 yard completion to Michael Crabtree. However, the drive stalled along with 2 dumb penalties. Keliche Osemele committed a false start and Carr took a delay of game. Carr and Jack Del Rio said they wanted crisp and clean football. This was not it.

The Cardinals soon faced 3rd and 10 at their own 20. Carson Palmer then brought the reality check. An 11 yard completion to JJ Nelson was followed by a 30 yard completion to Michael Floyd. Dave Johnson had runs of 8 and 23 yards. The Cardinals reached the Oakland 4 yard line before the defense finally stiffened. Chandler Catanzaro hit a 25 yard field goal. The Cardinals led 3-0.

So early indications were not positive. The Arizona first stringers won on both sides of the ball. Palmer was done for the night.

Carr played one more series. A 22 yard completion to Crabtree moved the ball to the Arizona 36, where the drive immediately died. However, Sebastian Janikowski drilled a 53 yard field goal that would have been good from 63. In his 17th season, seeing Seabass hit the long ones is still cause for optimism in close games. With the game tied 3-3, Carr was done for the night.

Carr was only 3 of 7 for 44 yards, but a gorgeous deep ball to Amari Cooper was incomplete only because Cooper did not get his feet inbounds. Carr has had his shackles removed. He is not drinking and dunking. He throws it down the field.

Now it was time for the backups. Drew Stanton and Matt McGloin both saw their teams go 3 and out on their first series. Then came the turnovers. Nelson fumbled a punt and the Raiders recovered at the Arizona 19. Jack Del Rio decided to be aggressive. McGloin quickly fired to Clive Walford in the end zone for the touchdown and the 10-3 Raiders lead. One play later from the Arizona 12, Stanton threw deep middle and was intercepted by Nate Allen. Allen returned it 27 yards to the Arizona 12. One play after that, McGloin threw the touchdown to Andre Holmes. The Raiders had a 17-3 lead after the first quarter.

McGloin plays very well in preseason against backups, but has struggled in regular season games as a starter. While both his touchdown throws were solid, the Raiders began both drives in the red zone. McGloin was not able to lead a scoring drive when the Raiders had more realistic field position. He completed 3 of his other 9 throws for a total of 10 yards.

In the second quarter the Cardinals finally got going with help from a 35 yard run by Andre Ellington. Ellington’s 5 yard touchdown run had the Cardinals within 17-10. Stanton was done for the night, finishing 2 of 6 for 42 yards. McGloin played the rest of the half, but both teams gave away scoring opportunities as Matt Barkley took over for the Cardinals. He would play for much of the game.

After an exchange of punts, a 25 yard run had the Raiders at the Arizona 35. A West Coast Offense dink and dunk pass lost 3 yards and then saw Holmes fumble the ball away. The Cardinals moved to the Oakland 23 but Catanzaro missed a 41 yard field goal. Oakland then faced 3rd and 3 at their own 38. McGloin completed a short pass for the first down, but illegal use of hands on the offense meant 3rd and 13 followed by an incompletion and a punt. The Raiders led 17-10 at halftime.

In the third quarter Barkley moved the Cardinals all the way from the Arizona 22 to the Oakland 15. However, Barkley was then intercepted by Nikeo Thorpe. Thorpe would bail the Raiders out later on by recovering a fumble of his teammate to prevent a turnover.

Although Arizona did not score on their next drive, Raider fans should still be concerned. On 3rd and 7 from the Arizona 34, Barkley threw incomplete but roughing the passer kept the drive going. From the Oakland 45, Barkley was intercepted but defensive pass interference gave Arizona another chance from the Oakland 39. Give the defense credit. They stopped the drive and forced a punt.

The rest of the scoring belonged to running back George Atkinson III, son of the legendary hard hitting Raiders secondary star of the 1970s. Atkinson is not succeeding on nepotism. He can play. Yes, he was playing against backups, but he still played well. Atkinson ran for touchdown runs of 53 yards in the third quarter and 35 yards late in the game to complete the scoring.

Barkley finished a terrible 8 of 24 for 121 yards and an interception. With 3 minutes left in the third quarter, rookie 4th round draft pick Conor Cook came in for the Raiders. Given that Carr is firmly entrenched as the starter, the drafting of Cook made little sense. However, now it was time to see what he could do. He finished 7 of 11 for 71 yards.

Cook began his first drive at the Oakland 9 yard line. On 3rd and 4, a short pass to Washington went for a 32 yard gain. The next play saw Atkinson do the rest. So a 4 play, 91 yard touchdown drive is a nice welcome to the NFL for Cook. On the next 2 drives Cook faced critical 3rd and 3. The first time Cook could not convert, but the second time he did. On the next drive Cook threw a 33 yard completion to the Arizona 28, but offensive pass interference ruined that moment.

With 10 minutes left, Arizona’s fourth string quarterback Coker came in. With 3 1/2 minutes left and the Cardinals down by 21, Bruce Arians reminded the football world that preseason is about staying healthy. He called 6 straight runs up the middle and ran out the clock.

The Raiders did some things right. In a regular season game, beating Arizona by 21 in Arizona would be miraculous. This is preseason, so the celebration should be significantly tempered.

The Raiders rushed for 166 yards, which is good. However, they gave up 172 rushing yards, which is not good. The Raiders were outgunned in total yards 383 to 322. They were only 3 for 12 on third down. They lost the time of possession battle badly 35 1/2 minutes to 24 1/2 minutes. The number of penalties was totally unacceptable, 11 for 86 yards lost. Arizona only had 3 penalties for 20 yards.

A positive note was the offense not giving up a sack or an interception. They turned the ball over once while taking it away from Arizona three times. They had 69 return yards to only 23 for Arizona, a big field position special teams differential. The Raiders scored touchdowns in the red zone rather than field goals. Staying aggressive worked for Del Rio.

Overall it is hard to find fault with a 21 point win, even in preseason. However, the penalties must be reduced. For the very first game, it was a good start to the season. 31-10 Raiders

NFL 2016 Pro Football Hall of Fame Recap

Saturday, August 13th, 2016

NFL 2016 Pro Football Hall of Fame Recap


240 decadent reasons to love America

Monday, July 4th, 2016

240 decadent reasons to love America

1980 Olympic Gold Medal Hockey Team

1980s hard rock hair metal

2 Live Crew’s Banned in the USA

7-Eleven Big Gulps and Slurpees

ACDC’s You shook me, Thunderstruck, Moneytalks

Adam Sandler


Airheads band The Lone Rangers

Al D’Amato’s singing


America the Beautiful sung by Ray Charles

American soldiers and veterans


Anthony Clark

Bad Touch’s Discovery Channel

Batman: The Dark Knight

BB King and Lucille

Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia

Biff Henderson

Bill Cosby, Himself video

Bill Murray’s Quick Change

Bill of Rights

Bill the Cat


Blue Collar Comedy Tour

Blue Bloods


Bluegrass Junction

Bounce houses

Bouncing 25 cent rubber balls

Boxing promoter Don King


Bubblebaths for two

Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck


Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise movies



Capture the flag

Cards Against Humanity

Chabad Houses

Charitable people


Cheers’s Sam Mayday Malone and Norm Peterson

Cherry Lime Rickeys

Chocolate covered cherries

Chris Berman

Chris Gardner’s The Pursuit of Happyness

Chris Noth’s Mike Logan

Chris Tucker singing Barry White


Coed touch football


Commando and pantsless Wednesdays (until HR intervened)

Conan O’Brien’s In the Year 2000

Corn Fritters

Cosmic Bowling

County Fairs

Dale Intimidator Earnhardt’s 1998 Daytona 500

Dana Carvey

Dann Florek’s Captain Donald Cragen

David Letterman’s Top Ten Lists

Dennis Farina

Desperate Housewives

Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo

Die Hard

DirecTV NFL Package

Dog-riding monkey

Donald Trump’s Apprentice


Dr. Brown’s Black Cherry Soda

Dr. Charles Krauthammer

Duck Dynasty


Edible underthings



Eye of the tiger


Flavored massage oil

Founding Fathers

Fox News

Fraggle Rock

Freedom, liberty, right of dissent

Gaga (dodgeball using closed fist and cherry ball)

Game nights

Garlic knots

Gatorade dumping on coaches

George W. Bush picks up bullhorn

Glow sticks as fake cigars

Golden Corral

GPS trackers

Greg the Bunny


Happy face emoticons



Henny Youngman

Hot Chocolate’s You sexy thing (I believe in miracles)

Hot scantily clad women

Howard Stern

I once finger-(blanked) a hermit crab (whoever said that)

In n Out Burger

Independence Day BBQs

Instant messaging

Internet dating


Italian ices

J. Geils Band’s Centerfold

Jack Nicholson’s Colonel Nathan R. Jessup

Jacuzzi romps


Jell-O wrestling

Jerry Orbach’s Lenny Briscoe

Jerry Reed’s Eastbound and Down

Jim Carrey’s Ace Ventura, Pet Detective

John Cougar Mellencamp’s Pink Houses and Hurts so good

John Facenda’s The Autumn Wind

John McEnroe’s tennis tantrums

Judaism celebrated in peace

Justice Scalia’s scathing dissents

Karl Rove’s whiteboard


KFC Popcorn Chicken


Kim Kardashian’s bare bottom

King of the Hill


Kosher imitation bacon and crab

Krispy Kreme Donut Hamburgers


Larry Hagman’s J.R. Ewing on Dallas

Las Vegas

Lee Greenwood’s God bless the USA and Bandit Express

Louisiana Cajun Cooking (Especially with Justin Wilson)

Lucky Charms

Madden Football

Magnum, P.I.

Mardi Gras, New Orleans

Mark Levin’s rants

Married with Children’s Al Bundy

Marvin Gaye’s Sexual Healing and Let’s get it on



Meat and potatoes

Michael J. Fox’s Alex P. Keaton on Family Ties

Mills Lane yelling Let’s get it on

Miniature golf


Morris Day and the Time’s Jerk Out

Mountain Dew Code Red

MTV’s Celebrity Deathmatch

Murder, She Wrote

Nathan’s Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest

National Federation of Republican Women

National Football League


New Years Eve noisemakers

New York Post front and back page

New York Stock Exchange opening and closing bells

NFL Films

NFL Network

Oakland Raiders

Old School with Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn

Overtime playoff hockey

Pajama parties

Peaceful transition of political power

Phil Hartman


Political Conventions

Pool volleyball


Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio


Queen’s I want it all

Raider Nation

Rainbow Sherbert

Redeye with Greg Gutfeld

Republican Jewish Brunettes

Republican Party Animals


Robin Williams

Ronald Reagan’s self-deprecating jokes 

Rudy Giuliani’s New York toughness


Rush Limbaugh

San Diego Wild Animal Park

Satellite TV

Save a horse, ride a cowboy


Sean Hannity’s Freedom Concerts



Sherman Hemsley’s George Jefferson


Sky high skyscrapers


Slim Jims

Snoopy’s Joe Cool

Snow football

Social networks for building businesses

South Beach, Miami

South Park



Stock trading


Strip chess

Stuart Scott


Summer camp

Super Soakers

Supply-side tax cuts

T-shirt originals

Taco Bell

Talk radio

Thanksgiving with John Madden

The Color of Money

The Counter Build Your Own Burger

The Expendables

The Frat Pack

The Honeymooners

The Muppets

The Onion


Toby Keith’s Courtesy of the Red White and Blue

Train rides

Trampoline Dodgeball

Tygrrrr Express

USA Cartoon Express

Video Arcade Games

We’re not France

Weekend at Bernie’s

Western medicine

Whitesnake’s Here I go again video

Wifi on planes

XM Sirius Satellite Radio


Young Jewish Conservatives

Yummy bouncies and badonkadonks

ZZ Top’s Sleeping Bag and Sharp Dressed Man

The Elizabeth Warren and Hillary Clinton Mother’s Day Sports Report

Sunday, May 8th, 2016

The Elizabeth Warren and Hillary Clinton Mother’s Day Sports Report

Nothing unites people like sports and recreation. Most people enjoy activities that bring people together in fun, laughter and competition. Only the most deeply unpleasant people among us could find complaints in such revelry.

Welcome to the Elizabeth Warren and Hillary Clinton May Sports Report.

Saturday, May 7 began with Warren’s Twitter temper tantrum against Donald Trump. Things escalated when an angry Liz Warren (redundant) bit Trump on the leg. She wouldn’t let go until he threw a rolled up New York Times and told her to go fetch it.

Warren is enraged at Trump for betting on John Kerry to beat her in the Kentucky Derby.

Poor Shagaf finished dead last. Shagaf is now the Jim Gilmore of the Kentucky Derby, and shall remain beloved and anonymous.

As soon as the Kentucky Derby ended, Elizabeth Warren and Hillary Clinton flew to Maryland to begin training for the Shriekness.

In addition to the Kentucky Derby, Saturday, May 7 was also World Naked Gardening Day. Even some leftist atheists prayed to God not to let Liz Warren and Hillary Clinton celebrate it. Mother Earth has suffered enough. The American Medical Association announced that the leading causes of blindness were Diabetes, Glaucoma, and viewing pictures of Hillary Clinton and Liz Warren celebrating World Naked Gardening Day.

In Los Angeles, Saturday, May 7 was also Rupaul’s DragCon. It was not dedicated to Hillary Clinton and Liz Warren, even though most people conceded that they both really are drags.

Sunday, May 8 was Mother’s Day. As the Kentucky Derby rolled into Mother’s Day, the Churchill Downs announcer was heard excitedly yelling, “and down the stretch (marks) they come!”

Liz Warren & Hillary Clinton to declare Mother’s Day bigoted against women without kids.

They demanded to know why do we have holidays honoring only mothers or fathers. That discriminates against the transgendered!

It must be tough being a liberal. Spending every waking minute complaining about nonsense gets older than Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren.

This is obvious, as plain as the lines on their faces.

What Joan Crawford did to one girl, Elizabeth Warren and Hillary Clinton want to do to the entire country, or at least the half of America who disagrees with them.

In the end, Nyquist won the Kentucky Derby. Rupaul changed back and forth at DragCon. World Naked Gardening Day organizers successfully begged Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren to boycott it. Mother’s Day trailed Cinco De Mayo by three days, although my mom is second to none.

Due to the Jewish Sabbath, religious Jews were unable to attend the Kentucky Derby, DragCon or World Naked Gardening Day. Bernie Sanders is Jewish, but his athletic experience consists of trying to keep Hillary Clinton from beating the daylights out him.

This was the Elizabeth Warren and Hillary Clinton May sports report. Provided neither one ever becomes president, fun activities are expected to remain legal in 2017.


NFL 2016 Draft Saturday Recap

Sunday, May 1st, 2016

NFL 2016 Draft Saturday Recap

The Minnesota Vikings drafted Willie Beavers. The Chicago Bears took Deon Bush. This one time we can debate Beavers vs Bush without angering censors.


NFL 2016 Draft Friday Recap

Sunday, May 1st, 2016

NFL 2016 Draft Friday Recap


NFL 2016 Draft Thursday Recap

Friday, April 29th, 2016

NFL 2016 Draft Thursday Recap

Sir Roger of Goodell to speaketh. NFL Draft 2016 is now.

After 362 days underground, Mel Kiper Jr. appeared, saw his pompadour shadow, declared 3 straight days of football.

“The Los Angeles Rams are on the clock.”

NFL 2016 Draft is now reality.

In political/global news, everyone except Rams Coach Jeff Fisher is utterly irrelevant.

Los Angeles Rams choose Jared Goff over Carson Wentz. Additionally, Jim Irsay has no regrets of choosing Peyton Manning over Ryan Leaf.

If Carson Wentz can dink, dunk, throw 4 yard passes, & throw 1 yard on 3rd and 1, he’ll be a fine West Coast Offense QB.

Nothing inspires Philly fans like Doug Pederson, a Walrus Lite Andy Reid disciple. Wentz will be expected to complete 30 passes for 120 yards and 0 turnovers.

The non-Los Angeles Chargers are on the clock.

Chargers took defensive end Joey Bosa rather than take an offensive tackle to protect Philip Rivers.

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is always a gambler. Jerrah resisted the urge to trade all his picks away for Johnny Manziel.

When asked who they wanted Jerry Jones to add to his team, Cowboys fans responded “Jimmy Johnson.”

It is only fitting on Passover that Ezekiel enters the room. Now we wait for Elijah.

London Jaguars choose Jalen Ramsey, who sobs after being told some home games are in North Florida & not Europe.

Ronnie? Stanley? When you are that big, John Harbaugh will pick both of you.

Ronnie Stanley just made VERY classy remarks about Laremy Tunsil, refusing to say he is better.

DeForest Buckner plays defense. We now have confirmation Howie Roseman makes 49ers decisions, not Chip Kelly.

Titans trade up to take a tackle, but it’s Jack Conklin over Laremy Tunsil. This drug video of Tunsil has to be why.

Consolation for Tunsil: Warren Sapp, Randy Moss and Aaron Rodgers all fell (although Rodgers had 0 character issues).

Hey Leonard Floyd: Dick Butkus & Brian Urlacher are on the phone. They want you to beat the daylights out of Aaron Rodgers.

Giants select guy named Eli. His name alone says this will fail. Eli Apple not related to Fiona Apple.

Derrick Brooks, Ronde Barber & Warren Sapp expected to take Vernon Hargreaves & shave his head.

By choosing Sheldon Rankins over Paxton Lynch, Saints totally uninterested in grooming successor to Drew Brees. Brees is still elite, hence a lack of urgency in the Big Easy.

After Richie Incognito, Dolphins picking Laremy Tunsil is nothing.

The Oakland Raiders are on the clock.

Reggie McKenzie is the anti-Al Davis. Davis used to have 2 rules:

1)Show up on Sunday
2) Stay out of trouble with the law

At the bottom of the blackboard it said that if you obey Rule 1, don’t worry about Rule 2.

Those days are gone. Reggie McKenzie has taken risks on guys with medical issues, but not character issues.

McKenzie in this draft must draft defense, defense, defense, & more defense.

#Raiders GM Reggie McKenzie, by taking Safety Karl Joseph, is trying to replace Charles Woodson. Solid pick.

McKenzie is known for making sensible picks.

Cleveland Browns may have all 32 first round picks next year.

Detroit Lions in taking Taylor Decker choose safe & solid over sexy. Big wedge of beef to protect Matthew Stafford.

Coach Jim Caldwell was so pleased he almost made a facial expression.

If Lions are not careful, owner Martha Ford may not fire anyone next year.

Keanu Neal good fit for Dan Quinn’s system. Falcons have offensive playmakers. They need defense. Atlanta got it right.

Colts get it perfectly right. Andrew Luck beaten to a pulp in 2015. Center Ryan Kelly a great choice.

Rather than screw with his hated Jets, Bills Coach Rex Ryan went with what he knows: defense. Problem: He needs offense.

Blitz-happy Todd Bowles opts for defense with Darren Lee. Not Paxton Lynch. They must rent Ryan Fitzpatrick’s beard for another year.

Had Texans chosen Paxton Lynch, Brock Osweiler’s head would have exploded. Instead Osweiler gets a receiver to play with. Makes sense.

Thought Redskins would shore up their defense, but getting a receiver for Kirk Cousins not bad.

Minnesota Vikings make perfect pick. Teddy Bridgewater to Laquon Treadwell could become Randall Cunningham to Randy Moss.

With Adrian Peterson, Vikings have to guard against overconfidence. It’s way too early to declare this 1998, but this team is a legitimate Super Bowl contender under Mike Zimmer.

Cincinnati Bengals should skip players & instead draft a psychiatrist. They have talented head cases. Marvin Lewis picked insurance in case any of his current defensive stars get arrested or suspended.

Nothing surprising out of Pittsburgh. They played it safe. Mike Tomlin has another hard-nosed defender.

Great thing about being Denver Broncos quarterback is there’s no pressure since expectations are low.

Paxton Lynch is not being asked to be a savior like John Elway 1983 or Peyton Manning 2012. Broncos are Von Miller’s team.

Lynch has to be Trent Dilfer, nothing more.

When healthy, Packers set on offense. You can never have enough defensive tackles. Typical sensible Packers pick.

Side note: Oakland Raiders GM Reggie McKenzie, who makes very solid picks, was trained in the Packers system.

49ers traded Joe Montana, Steve Bono & Alex Smith to Chiefs. Now Chiefs trade down, 49ers select…a guard?

Did they not think one quarterback was available who could throw further than 4 yards? Oh wait, Chip Kelly is not a dink & dunker.

New England Patriots not on the clock. They forfeited #1 pick due to #Deflategate cheating scandal.

Tom Brady has seriously deflated balls right now.

Bruce Arians has another serious pass rusher. With his high octane offense, Arizona is still elite.

Ron Rivera should have taken a cornerback to replace Josh Norman. A defensive tackle is fine, but they need secondary help.

Pete Carroll & John Schneider tend to play it safe/solid. Germain Ifedi needed to replace Russell Okung.

Ifedi should immediately be on the phone with Walter Jones asking for advice.

Approximately 19 hours until NFL Draft 2016 Round 2. The Cleveland Browns are on the clock.


Explaining the NFL Draft to my mother

Thursday, April 28th, 2016

The Los Angeles Rams are on the clock. With those words by Commissioner Roger Goodell, the 2016 National Football League Draft will commence. Many Americans will obsessively follow every moment of every pick and every trade. My parents will be watching the news or reruns of “Murder, She Wrote.”

If you love football, the Draft is a lifeline that prevents leatherheads from losing their ever-loving football minds during the offseason. From the end of the Super Bowl in February to the season opening kickoff in September, NFL fans have so much pain and suffering. The Draft is not an actual game, but it is something.

For those who do not understand football, the NFL Draft makes even less sense.

Mom: So who is playing?

Me: Well all 32 teams are playing, but nobody is actually playing. It is not a game. It is where they select the players who will enter the league.

Mom: Selecting players? You mean like when you were a kid and the gym coach told you to stand on one side and Mikey to stand on the other side? Then you would pick Kenny and Mikey would pick Johnny until you both had teams?

Me: Well, yes, but it is a little more detailed than that.

Mom: Ok, so each team picks what players they want? What is going on while a player is being picked?

Me: Well different teams have different needs so they sometimes make trades. Teams call each other on the telephone and make deals.

Mom: Hours of people making phone calls? Really, people watch this? While the workers are making phone calls, what is the audience doing?

Me: The fans are watching the guys who make the phone calls and hoping that their team picks the players the fans want.

Mom: So they are sitting around watching people make phone calls? Then after a team picks a player, the fans sit and wait until the next team picks a player?

Me: Yes.

Mom: What if the player does not want to play for the team that picks him?

Me: That hardly ever happens. The players do not have a choice. The teams decide, not the players.

Mom: How long does this last?

Me: Three days.

Mom: People spend three days watching people make phone calls and choosing players? Do they at least when this is all over play a real game?

Me: Not until five months later.

Mom: You actually sit around and watch people make phone calls. Wow. So how do they decide who chooses when?

Me: The worst team from the year before chooses first and the best team that wins the previous Super Bowl chooses last.

Mom: That sounds like socialism. I thought sports owners and players were capitalists. Why shouldn’t the best team pick first and the worst team pick last?

Me: That would give the good teams an unfair advantage.

Mom: How is that unfair if they earned it?

Me: Mom, it’s the rules of the league. I don’t make them. I am just a fan. During the season I watch the games. When it is not football season I have nothing to do but sit around and spending three days watching people making phone calls to each other.

Mom: Well honey, if it makes you happy, enjoy it. I cannot imagine sitting down for hours doing that, but if you like it, that is all that matters. Anyway, I have to go. Your father and I are about to watch a “Murder, She Wrote” marathon.

Deflategate Update: Goodell checkmates Brady

Tuesday, April 26th, 2016

Deflategate Update: Goodell checkmates Brady