West Bound and Down Indiana Tuesday
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To promote my newest politically conservative comedy book “Ideological Lunacy” and my new religious comedy book “Jewish Lunacy,” I am going back on tour. This time I am visiting the heartland, the Industrial Midwest. Two governors from this area are about to enter the presidential race.
For those interested in signed autographed copies of my 5 books, find me on Facebook or Twitter @TYGRRRREXPRESS
Meanwhile, here is my schedule, constantly subjected to updates.
Sunday, July 12, 2015 — On the redeye from Los Angeles to Fort Wayne, Indiana.
Wednesday-Saturday, July 15-18, 2015 — I will be at the Fort Wayne, Indiana Three Rivers Festival.
Tuesday, July 21, 2015 — I may be attending the John Kasich 2016 kickoff of his presidential campaign at Ohio State University in Columbus. I starts at 9:30am.
Tuesday, July 21, 2015 — I will be speaking to the Southeastern GOP Club in Cleveland, Ohio in the evening. Doug Magill.
Thursday, July 23, 2015 — I will be speaking to the Totally Engaged Americans near Cleveland, Ohio in the evening.
Wednesday-Sunday, July 29-August 2, 2015 — I will be at the Kankakee County Fair near Chicago, Illinois.
Wednesday-Sunday, July 29-August 2, 2015 — The National Young Republican Convention takes place in Chicago, Illinois. As of now I am not scheduled to attend but that could change.
Monday-Monday, August 3-10, 2015 — I will be at the Wood County Fair in Bowling Green, Ohio.
Thursday, August 6, 2015 — The First GOP Debate takes place in Cleveland, Ohio. I may or may not have an event there before the debate.
Tuesday, August 11, 2015 — Flying from Indianapolis, Indiana home to Los Angeles.
Wednesday, August 19, 2015 – Flying from Los Angeles to Louisville, Kentucky.
Thursday-Sunday, August 20-30, 2015 — I will be at the Kentucky State Fair in Louisville.
Monday, August 31, 2015 — Flying from Louisville, Kentucky home to Los Angeles.
September — Events throughout the month in Vermont, New York and New Jersey. Details to come.
There are plenty of serious reasons to love America.
From 1776-2015, here are 239 decadent reasons to love America. God bless the USA.
|1980 Olympic Gold Medal Hockey Team|
|1980s hard rock hair metal|
|2 Live Crew’s Banned in the USA|
|7-Eleven Big Gulps and Slurpees|
|ACDC’s You shook me, Thunderstruck, Moneytalks|
|Airheads band The Lone Rangers|
|Al D’Amato’s singing|
|America the Beautiful sung by Ray Charles|
|American soldiers and veterans|
|Bad Touch’s Discovery Channel|
|Batman: The Dark Knight|
|BB King and Lucille|
|Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia|
|Bill Cosby, Himself video|
|Bill Murray’s Quick Change|
|Bill of Rights|
|Bill the Cat|
|Blue Collar Comedy Tour|
|Bouncing 25 cent rubber balls|
|Boxing promoter Don King|
|Bubblebaths for two|
|Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck|
|Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise movies|
|Capture the flag|
|Cards Against Humanity|
|Cheers’s Sam Mayday Malone and Norm Peterson|
|Cherry Lime Rickeys|
|Chocolate covered cherries|
|Chris Gardner’s The Pursuit of Happyness|
|Chris Noth’s Mike Logan|
|Chris Tucker singing Barry White|
|Coed touch football|
|Commando and pantsless Wednesdays (until HR intervened)|
|Conan O’Brien’s In the Year 2000|
|Dale Intimidator Earnhardt’s 1998 Daytona 500|
|Dann Florek’s Captain Donald Cragen|
|David Letterman’s Top Ten Lists|
|Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo|
|DirecTV NFL Package|
|Donald Trump’s Apprentice|
|Dr. Brown’s Black Cherry Soda|
|Dr. Charles Krauthammer|
|Eye of the tiger|
|Flavored massage oil|
|Freedom, liberty, right of dissent|
|Gaga (dodgeball using closed fist and cherry ball)|
|Gatorade dumping on coaches|
|George W. Bush picks up bullhorn|
|Glow sticks as fake cigars|
|Greg the Bunny|
|Happy face emoticons|
|Hot Chocolate’s You sexy thing (I believe in miracles)|
|Hot scantily clad women|
|I once finger-(blanked) a hermit crab (whoever said that)|
|In n Out Burger|
|Independence Day BBQs|
|J. Geils Band’s Centerfold|
|Jack Nicholson’s Colonel Nathan R. Jessup|
|Jerry Orbach’s Lenny Briscoe|
|Jerry Reed’s Eastbound and Down|
|Jim Carrey’s Ace Ventura, Pet Detective|
|John Cougar Mellencamp’s Pink Houses and Hurts so good|
|John Facenda’s The Autumn Wind|
|John McEnroe’s tennis tantrums|
|Judaism celebrated in peace|
|Justice Scalia’s scathing dissents|
|Karl Rove’s whiteboard|
|KFC Popcorn Chicken|
|Kim Kardashian’s bare bottom|
|King of the Hill|
|Kosher imitation bacon and crab|
|Krispy Kreme Donut Hamburgers|
|Larry Hagman’s J.R. Ewing on Dallas|
|Lee Greenwood’s God bless the USA and Bandit Express|
|Louisiana Cajun Cooking (Especially with Justin Wilson)|
|Mardi Gras, New Orleans|
|Mark Levin’s rants|
|Married with Children’s Al Bundy|
|Marvin Gaye’s Sexual Healing and Let’s get it on|
|Meat and potatoes|
|Michael J. Fox’s Alex P. Keaton on Family Ties|
|Mills Lane yelling Let’s get it on|
|Morris Day and the Time’s Jerk Out|
|Mountain Dew Code Red|
|MTV’s Celebrity Deathmatch|
|Murder, She Wrote|
|Nathan’s Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest|
|National Federation of Republican Women|
|National Football League|
|New Years Eve noisemakers|
|New York Post front and back page|
|New York Stock Exchange opening and closing bells|
|Old School with Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn|
|Overtime playoff hockey|
|Peaceful transition of political power|
|Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio|
|Queen’s I want it all|
|Redeye with Greg Gutfeld|
|Republican Jewish Brunettes|
|Republican Party Animals|
|Ronald Reagan’s self-deprecating jokes|
|Rudy Giuliani’s New York toughness|
|San Diego Wild Animal Park|
|Save a horse, ride a cowboy|
|Sean Hannity’s Freedom Concerts|
|Sherman Hemsley’s George Jefferson|
|Sky high skyscrapers|
|Snoopy’s Joe Cool|
|Social networks for building businesses|
|South Beach, Miami|
|Supply-side tax cuts|
|Thanksgiving with John Madden|
|The Color of Money|
|The Counter Build Your Own Burger|
|The Frat Pack|
|Toby Keith’s Courtesy of the Red White and Blue|
|USA Cartoon Express|
|Video Arcade Games|
|We’re not France|
|Weekend at Bernie’s|
|Whitesnake’s Here I go again video|
|Wifi on planes|
|XM Sirius Satellite Radio|
|Young Jewish Conservatives|
|Yummy bouncies and badonkadonks|
|ZZ Top’s Sleeping Bag and Sharp Dressed Man|
Shavuos, Memorial Day, and first class traditions
Top Ten David Letterman Contributions to TV
President Obama falsely claims to have been to all 50 states
Mother’s Day 2015 Report
Dear mom, thank you for not being Michelle Obama or Hillary Clinton. You gave me love without trying to regulate every aspect of my life.
I love you mom. Happy Mother’s Day. Please root for a New York Rangers win even if you have no idea who they are. Go Blueshirts!
Those wanting to serenade mom on Mother’s Day should pick a better choice than Tupac Shakur’s “Dear Mama.”
Don’t forget to wish a happy Mother’s Day to Richard Roundtree. Shaft is one bad Mother! Shut your mouth!
May 9th in America is May 10th in Moscow. On which day should Russians living in the USA wish a happy Mother’s Day to Mother Russia Vladimir Putin has yet to rule.
Fatwa: Woman-beating patriarchical Islamist cowards shall from now on celebrate Mother’s Day or get a stick to their behinds. Mama Akbar!
This concludes the 2015 Mother’s Day Report.
My new book “Ideological Lunacy” is now available.
In April of 2009 I wrote “Ideological Bigotry.” In April 2010 came “Ideological Violence” and “Ideological Idiocy.”
These 3 political books took me to all 50 states. Now after 5 years, April of 2015 brings books 4 and 5.
“Jewish Lunacy” is my only non-political book.
“Ideological Lunacy” brings more politically conservative comedy.
For those wanting signed autographed copies, contact me directly on Facebook or Twitter @TYGRRRREXPRESS
All Hail Stephanie Weiss, My 1000th Twitter Follower
April 20, 2015, is more than just the day we celebrate the release of the NFL Schedule. Virtually nothing is as important as football, but exceptions do exist. Tonight is also a night to celebrate meaningless metrics of artificial social acceptance.
I now have my 1,000th Twitter follower (I only follow 5 people).
Sure, spiteful people can now unfollow me and drop me down to 999, but think of a car odometer. The odometer hit 1,000. Driving backward does not change the historical nature of the moment.
Twitter follower number 1,000 is Stephanie Weiss. May you all celebrate her now and forever.
A lifelong Texan, Ms. Weiss lives in Texas with her husband and child. She is active politically, a staunch libertarian. Unlike some libertarians, she is not crazy.
She is trained in human resources management, which means she gets to make employees cry for something that was probably their fault anyway.
Raised in San Antonio, she is a big fan of the Spurs, and was before they began winning championships every other year. In 1999 she rooted for the Spyrs, but that could have been a keyboard error.
She now resides in Dallas. Despite being a Texan, she says “oil” rather than “awl” the way J.R. Ewing used to pronounce it.
When she gives you a quizzical look, she has furrowed eye brows, which she denies.
She is a nice, kind, smart person.
She is also now the owner of this fantastic legacy. People like round numbers, so they should like her. She is forever Twitter follower #1000.
All Hail Stephanie Weiss!
My new book “Jewish Lunacy” is now available.
It is 6,000 years of Jewish history as told by somebody who missed the first 5,960 years. It is meant for people of all religions and all levels of religiosity from atheist to devout.
The book is NOT political.
Contact me for a signed autographed copy.