Mother’s Day 2015 Report
Dear mom, thank you for not being Michelle Obama or Hillary Clinton. You gave me love without trying to regulate every aspect of my life.
I love you mom. Happy Mother’s Day. Please root for a New York Rangers win even if you have no idea who they are. Go Blueshirts!
Those wanting to serenade mom on Mother’s Day should pick a better choice than Tupac Shakur’s “Dear Mama.”
Don’t forget to wish a happy Mother’s Day to Richard Roundtree. Shaft is one bad Mother! Shut your mouth!
May 9th in America is May 10th in Moscow. On which day should Russians living in the USA wish a happy Mother’s Day to Mother Russia Vladimir Putin has yet to rule.
Fatwa: Woman-beating patriarchical Islamist cowards shall from now on celebrate Mother’s Day or get a stick to their behinds. Mama Akbar!
This concludes the 2015 Mother’s Day Report.