Archive for 2008

General Sherman’s March Through Atlanta Continues

Saturday, March 15th, 2008

I normally write my column the night before, and publish it during the day. Thank God, for once, I was too tired to write last night, and that I checked the news before writing.

My column was supposed to be titled, “General Sherman should have finished the job.” It ws one of my typical diatribes where I blame an entire city for some misfortunes that could have happened anywhere.

For those who do not know, a tornado belted Atlanta last night. Winds of up to 130 mph ripped through the city and destroyed homes. There is nothing funny about this, and lord knows my conscience would be eating at me if I had written my original column.

I was in Atlanta yesterday on business. I left the office at 1pm for what should have been a 30-45 minute drive to catch a 3:40 flight. Easy as can be, epecially with a GPS tracker in the rental car.

Then the rains came. Then I may or may not have missed the freeway entrance. Apparently Atlanta does not believe in second chances when it comes to freeways, so I took side streets. After two hours due to rain and accidents, I arrived at what I thought would be the rental car entrance. It would take a miracle, but if I really hauled it I could make the flight.

The sign said Hertz. I rented from Avis, so I figured I had to drive a few more feet. I did not know that all the rental cars dropped off at the same spot. There was no way to turn back around. It took me another 30 minutes to go around the block. I called up Delta, got somebody from India, and had them transfer me to somebody that understood me. Luckily, the next flight was only an hour later. At worst it would slightly screw up my dinner plans.

The lady at Avis charged me an extra day for the rental car because I was an hour late. Trying to argue with somebody that does not care is like trying to teach a pig to sing. It wastes time and annoys the pig. Also, Delta charged me extra for the flight because they no longer do standby. I mean what is customer service except to aggravate customers?

To give you an example of how enraged I was, think about my political philosophy. I worship at the altar of big business. Therefore, if you are a big business, and I hate you, then nobody on Earth likes you. I hope the government lets the airlines go bankrupt until competent people take over.

I had not eaten all day, and I had to grab some Krystal and quickly board. When I say Krystal, I mean small burgers, not fancy alcohol. I was in the back row of the plane in a middle seat.

At that moment I wanted General Sherman to finish the job in Atlanta. For those of you who attend public school, General William Tecumseh Sherman’s “March to the Sea,” was a major victory for the Union over the Confederacy. In that battle General Sherman burned Atlanta to the ground. I left Atlanta at 5pm, and arrived in Chicago for a lovely dinner party with the Chicago Cannonball. The weather was in the 50s. Yes, Chicago was balmier than Atlanta.

I had a list of all the destruction I wanted inflicted upon Atlanta. Not the outer areas, just the city. The airport needed to be destroyed. It is a zoo. I frequently go through LAX and JFK. Even Ohare is not that bad. Atlanta is dreadful.

The people at Delta and Avis should have made exceptions due to the inclement weather and not gouged me.

Although CNN had nothing to do with this situation, I wanted them to be wrecked as well simply because I don’t like them. Besides, something needs to ruin Anderson Cooper’s hair, even if for a few minutes.

Yet rather than write the column, I decided to wait until morning. This was mostly due to my favorite type of exhaustion, but also because I try to be careful about heaping scorn on people (Eliot Spitzer being the exemption. There, I found a way to incorporate him into my wrath.).

Last year I was without internet access at home for 6 weeks. Thankfully it was before I began my blog. I wished bad things on Earthlink, especially since they, like Delta, had outsourced their tech support to India. I am not proud that I wanted the top people at Earthlink to die, and I was mortified when Earthlink CEO Gary Betty died of brain cancer at age 49 a few weeks later.

I don’t want people to die. I just, like most people, do not like inconveniences. Unlike most people I wish I handled such inconveniences better.

So as I woke up today at the crack of noon Chicago time, I prepared to write how badly I wanted destruction and mayhem to be inflicted upon Atlanta. I decided to check the news just to make sure the world had not blown up. After all, it would not look good if bombs had gone off in America and I was worried about missing a flight.

I saw the news. A tornado had destroyed Atlanta. The destruction and mayhem had happened.

My thoughts turned to my friend, whose house I had slept in the previous night, the same house I left at 1pm. I hope he and his family are ok. Even CNN headquarters sustained some damage, and no, I am not cheering or holding a parade. Speaking of parades, the St. Patrick’s Day Parade has been canceled. I hope the Irish Americans that helped make this country great pick up the slack in other cities on March 17th.

As ticked off as I get over stuff, I have been relatively unscathed by life. This is nothing but luck. I was in Fort Payne Alabama in 2005. I was trapped in a rainstorm, and disgusted. I went back to Los Angeles, and two weeks later Alabama got belted by the same rain that hurt Louisiana and Mississippi even worse. It was Hurricane Katrina, and I had missed it by two weeks.

This one I missed by mere hours.

I know I need to start being nicer, and more compassionate, and more understanding.

I also know that will most likely not happen overnight, if it happens at all.

I will be back in Hotlanta again soon, and I hope it is a poitive experience for me and the residents of that city.

Besides, when it is not raining, Hotlanta is a great city.

I hope the people are ok. Except the ones at Delta and Avis that jacked with my finances.

Oh heck, who am I kidding. I hope they are ok as well. Lord knows I do not want to be on the receiving end of bad wishes. If God wants to shove a lightning bolt up my rumpus, I am not that hard to find. None of us are.

eric

Because I am not Eliot Spitzer

Friday, March 14th, 2008

I am not Eliot Spitzer. For this alone, I should be liked, but there are thankfully other reasons.

For those who fear that I am turning into Greta Van Susteren, meaning an intelligent person that beats topics that nobody cares about into the ground, fear not. This blog is not going to be “All Eliot, all the time.” If I did that, he would win.

Yet recent events directly related to the Tygrrrr Express have made the story more relevant.

The traveling carnival that is my existence made its way to Las Vegas for a political conference, followed by a trip to Chicago that was as unexpected as it was pleasant. Despite the fact that I detest cold weather, it turned out to be one of the best trips I have ever had. I met the Chicago Cannonball, and we are both very happy.

I left Chicago on the 9th to go back to LA, and three days later (yesterday) made my way to Hotlanta. I was supposed to then either veer off to Miami, and frolic on spring break in South Beach, or head Westbound and Down to Alabama to hang out with my buddy on the Auburn campus. Either way, barely legal women in bikinis awaited.

Because things are going well with the Chicago Cannonball, I would not be be able to treat any of these young hot women like ice cream. Yet looking is still legal.

Due to circumstances that are bizarre even based on my low standards of normalcy, I am not going to either of those cities. The ticket to South Florida was insanely expensive. Then again, my most recent ex is 22, and she will be down there for Spring Break, so perhaps this is for the best. Yes, South Florida is big, but most likely she is on one specific street, since it was where I recommended she go when we were dating, and everybody listens to me when it comes to socializing.

The backup plan was Bama, hanging with my fellow Tigers at Auburn. Today my backup plan got blown up like Fallujah. My friend that I was supposed to be staying with has disappeared. His cell phone is not working, and I cannot reach him. Most likely he went with his friends on break and forgot about me. He is a good guy, but sometimes he suffers from a medical condition that requires “cranial-glutial extraction surgery.” I am sure he will feel awful when he remembers, but I will let him off the hook after a couple snide remarks.

So the Tygrrrr Express was about to be possibly homeless. I doubt it would have come to that. I would have asked a local Rabbi for a place to sleep for the night, and I am sure they would have said yes. Of course, I would then be asked to attend the Saturday morning prayer service, which conflicts with sleeping until noon. There is no way I would dare stay at a Rabbi’s home and not attend the service. I may be lazy, but am not ill mannered.

After sitting down and analyzing the situation (ok, I might have been sobbing like a four year old girl, but if it is not on You-Tube, it never happened), I took a couple breaths and tried to figure out what was important.

Why did I care so much about going to Miami? Because I always go to Miami in March. There are usually 96 reasons I go, which if I am correct in my calculations is the result of adding 36 + 24 + 36. Yet since I am seeing the Chicago Cannonball, the entire trip is pointless. Not to invalidate people who brought me into the world, but those two people know d@mn well I wait for them to go to sleep after “Matlock’,” or “Murder, She wrote,” and then hang out in South Beach.

As for Alabama, I like my friend despite this lapse in his sanity, but again, this trip was about being around hot women. Why? Because I am male and have a pulse.

I am not somebody that window shops. I do not browse. I do not walk into a store unless I am a buyer. I do not go near a jar of candy and just stare at it, be it after dinner mints or eye candy. I take it with me, be it either in my pocket or over my shoulder.

Yet instead of feeling sadness, life is good. The Chicago Cannonball and I are getting along great. At the risk of having growth pangs, there is a realization here that is important.

Dating is not the ends for me. It is the means. I have always been about being with one person, with short term gratification being what Monte Hall would describe as the consolation prize behind “door # 2.” So if the goal is meet somebody, and I have, wouldn’t an ounce of sense tell me that if I have to be stranded, I might as well be with somebody lovely?

I just thank God that every twice in awhile he gives me just enough common sense to make an intelligent decision when it matters most. How many men have money, power, lovely families…and throw it all away because they are in the wrong city at the wrong time with the wrong woman, when the best of everything is in front of their selfish faces the entire time?

Hugh Grant cheated on Elizabeth Hurley with a black hooker. Folks, if a guy cannot be happy with Elizabeth Hurley, he will never be happy. Bill Clinton nearly got fired because he could not keep his pants zipped. Eliot Spitzer went from a shot at the White House to the newest husband in the Dog in Heat House. I have seen his wife. Even after three kids, she is a hot piece of New York Skirt Steak.

Some would look at me and say, “talk to me when you have been married 20 years.” That is not the answer. I do not have the answer, but I suspect it has to do with the notion that we can either satiate those we love, or satiate ourselves. Imagine if Eliot Spitzer had taken his 80,000 dollars that he spent on a woman whose real name he did not even know, and instead bought his wife an $80,000 piece of jewelry. Perhaps she would have done those things that a mother of three never talks about in public.

It is not about “being bought.” Unlike the Kobe Bryant situation, you have to buy the gift before you screw up. That way it is a heartfelt gesture, and not a business contract. I am sure it is not easy for a man married a couple decades ith children, but even those men should look at their wives and say, “Forget my bad back and your vericose veins (or something more tactful). The kids are somewhere else, and we are going to act like we did back then. Now put down the laundry and help me find the cattle prod (ok, I went too far, but the point is valid).

For some men, as I said, dating a string of women is the end. That type of life is just not for me. A real man gravitates towards those who matter most on a long term basis.

The song by the Proclaimers states that, “I would walk 500 miles, and I would walk 500 more, just to be the man who walked that 1000 miles and showed up at your door.” Ok, so I am not that gallant. I will be taking a plane and then a taxicab. Yet as much as cold weather scares the daylights out of me, and as much as Chicago might be the worst Spring Break city in America, I suspect I am making the right decision. Besides, the Chicago Cannonball agrees with me, which does help.

So out of nowhere, I am headed back to Sweet Home Chicago today.

I do not have Eliot Spitzer’s money, or his power. However, I am much handsomer than him. Even unkempt, my hair is quite good. I also have something that he may never have again, due to his own travels in the wrong areas…a happy love life that matters.

Because I am not, nor do I ever want to be Eliot Spitzer, Miami and Bama will have to wait, perhaps forever. No, I did not immediately make the right decision. I had a lot of help, perhaps divine intervention. Yet given every chance to make the right decision, I actually did.

I am off to give the Chicago Cannonball the ketchup bottle treatment.

It will not cost me a fortune, and yet the effect is priceless.

eric

Spitzer Goes Quitzer and a Hag gets Bagged

Thursday, March 13th, 2008

From the deaf, dumb and blind to the good, the bad and the ugly, the democrats have provided much entertainment in recent days.

The blind is the good. It comes in the form of the Lieutenant Governor of New York, and soon to be Governor, David Paterson.

I know nothing about this man. He reminds me of the late James B. Stockdale, Ross Perot’s 1992 running mate. Stockdale was the one who said in a debate, “Who am I? Why am I here?” Perhaps a better comparison would be that of the late Gerald Ford, the accidental President.

What little I do know about David Paterson is positive.

Most likely, I will not like his political views. He is more liberal than Eliot Spitzer, but willing to work with the other side. What Barack Obama is to Hillary Clinton, David Paterson is to Eliot Spitzer. Lt. Governor Paterson is admired by democrats and republicans alike as a genial individual that wants to get things done.

What a novel idea, a politician actually wanting to do the work. Mr. Paterson is obviously a workhorse and not a showhorse, since most people last week probably would not have recognized him on the street. One collegue described him using the Hebrew word “Mensch,” which describes a true kindly gentleman.

Mr. Paterson is also black. This should be celebrated. He worked hard, played by the rules, and through a quirk of fate, is going to lead one of the largest economies in the world. For the good of New York, I hope that his race becomes completely irrelevant. Yes, the black community should beam with pride, but he has to govern everybody. Also, republicans who disagree with him on issues should be willing to engage him. They should not be afraid of being called racists simply for opposing a liberal agenda. Also, black liberals should not hurl charges of racism when Governor Paterson runs into the normal opposition that any Governor will face in a demoracy that encourages gridlock.

As I said, I expect to disagree with much of Mr. Paterson’s agenda. Yet I have high hopes for him. He needs to heal a state, and healing is not liberal or conservative. It is human. I hope he can roll up his sleeves, and that the republicans work with him. Work with does not mean capitulate. Yet the current environment is toxic, and perhaps Mr. Paterson can alter that.

One other aspect of Mr. Paterson that must be acknowledged is that he is legally blind. He will be the first blind Governor. I personally think this is something to celebrate. I do not believe in politically correct terms such as “handicapable.” People who are handicapped cannot do things that others can do. Yet even with disabilities, people from Bob Dole to Bob Kerrey to John McCain have led distinguished political careers.

Yet blindness is tougher. I personally do not see any functions of being Governor that require eyesight. He cannot drive himself around, but perhaps society would have been better off had John Corzine and Ted Kennedy used their chauffeurs. A deeper question can be asked if Governor Paterson is successful. Is America ready for a blind President?

I personally would rather see a cure for blindness, but barring that, at some point the topic should be discussed. Even people with perfect eyesight have their mobility restricted by Secret Service agents.

The deaf is the bad. This comes in the form of Eliot Spitzer, who will hopefully have a lovely new orange jumpsuit and a 200 pound boyfriend named Maurice. Actually, minimum security prison means he will most likely improve his golf game, although he might be safer in a maximum security prison. After all, minimum security contains the people he helped prosecute.

I could go through all the reasons why Eliot Spitzer is one of the most disgusting human beings on Earth, but I will wait until he is officially gone to pile on with all the class and grace he showed towards me when he was in power.

Spitzer is going quitzer because he was deaf to the public. While he would have been very talented as a third world dictator, democracy reqires actually working with people who share opposing views. Like Hillary Clinton, he confuses, either deliberately or myopically, opponents with enemies. His downfall is not about prostitution. It is about a bully who made so many enemies and too few friends. When he fell, nobody wanted to lift him back up. To quote an old parable, because Eliot Spitzer destroyed so many people, when they came for him, there was nobody left to speak up.

Whatever I may think of Bill Clinton and Ted Kennedy, enough people liked them. That is the reason they survived. Spitzer had his inherited billion dollars, his position of power, and his sense of entitlement. He felt no need to subject himself to the laws he was sworn to uphold. it was not sex tht undid him. It was arrogance.

The dumb is the ugly. In this case it comes in the form of the hag that got bagged. It is one thing to be a political candidate whose celebrity comes from being a minority. It is another thing to be a political has been from 25 years ago whose celebrity comes from having once been a celebrity.

Yes folks, Geraldine Ferraro is in the news for some reason. This is the same Geraldine Ferraro who freely admits what most Americans knew a quarter of a century ago, that her being picked as a Vice Presidential Candidate was a token appointment based on gender. The same Geraldine Ferraro who then 14 years later lost a democratic Senate primary because her candidacy had no rationale. The same Geraldine Ferraro whose husband was “allegedly” a mobster, and whose son was nicknamed “The Pharmacist,” because you could get any drug you wanted from him. This was the woman who lectured republicans.

I could give her credit for winning Minnesota, but she lost the other 49 states. Now she is taking her losing street to the 2008 Hillary Clinton campaign. Given her expertise in candidacies with zero rationale except the Helen Reddy song, “I am woman hear me roar,” Ferraro is a perfect surrogate.

Yet even a campaign known for gutter politics, racially charged accusations, and a sense of entitlement, has lines that should not get crossed. Geraldine Ferraro stated that Barack Obama would not be where he was if he were white.

No, I am not calling her a racist. I am saying her comments were racially insensitive, and stupid.

The Clinton campaign is justifying playing the race card by stating that they need Obama to toughen up, because the republicans will play the race card in the general election. This is ludicrous. John McCain rejects racial politics, and most republicans do not want to go near the race issue with Obama. We want to defeat him on taxes, trade, and the Iraq War. These things are called issues, also known as ideas. Democrats are bereft of them, hence the need to slash and burn.

The republicans did not start with Willie Horton in 1988. Al Gore clubbed Michael Dukakis with it, and the republicans continued. So destroying your own side does not strengthen your team.

The Clintons are not playing the race card to protect Obama in the general election. They are playing the race card because they want to win at all costs. As long as they save the village, it is ok if they torch it to the ground first.

What Ferraro fails to grasp is that Obama has a compelling story to tell, and he tells it brilliantly. His race is a major part of his story, but Hillary’s…and Ferraro’s…genders are their entire story. They tell their stories badly, or at least with much less inspiration.

To say that people are only voting for Obama because he is black implies that voters are stupid, or worse, racist. Iowa is snow white. Wisconsin is lily white. Idaho is even whiter than that. Obama won all those areas.

Obama is not winning because he is black. He is winning because he inspires people, and he is likable. Hillary is losing for the same reason that Ferraro kept losing. It is not because they are women. It is because they often come across as hags.

Ferraro diminshed herself by claiming that she was a token. Therefore, nobody should listen to her. They never did, so why start now?

The best part of this is that liberals are using political correctness against other liberals. First Harvard President Larry Summers went down. Bill and Hillary Clinton, supposedly loved by black America, are getting pummeled by Obama. Now Ferraro is being silenced. Political correctness was fine when only republicans were being silenced, but now liberals are being battered by their own hostile attempts to stifle speech.

The Clinton campaign, desperate to show that a woman speaking on behalf of their campaign does not represent their campaign, has allowed Ferraro to again disappear, again a loser.

Spitzer went Quitzer and a hag got bagged. Now David Paterson and Barack Obama can try and unite people, not because they are black, or in one case, blind. They simply want to reach out to all Americans, and get beyond the politics of personal destruction.

Spitzer, Hillary and Ferraro cannot get beyond the politics of personal destruction, because they are the politics of personal destruction.

Good riddance to every member of this sorry lot.

eric

Beating the Billionaire B@st@rd

Wednesday, March 12th, 2008

The Tygrrrr Express is Hotlanta bound. After that I have to go either to Miami or Alabama. Either way there will be partying. I love Spring Break. Although the original plan was to hang from a balcony with barely legal coeds, continuing the “Girls Gone Wild” lifestyle that makes my existence so enjoyable, this trip will involve looking at most, but no touching. Things are going well with me and the Chicago Cannonball, and I do not throw away happy situations over cheap thrills. I guess that makes me unqualified to be the current Governor of New York.

Yes. I went there, girlfriend. Eliot Spitzer is down. Good. Somebody step on him. He has stepped on so many people. He does not deserve our understanding or mercy. His press conference was a defiant insistence that his situation was a private matter, and not a serious law enforcement violation.

For the sake of full disclosure, this is not about politics for me. I detest this guy’s guts on a personal level due to his harassing my industry with a reckless abandon matched only by his lack of knowledge of how the industry works.

Eliot Spitzer is another liberal billionaire that wants to tell others how to live, and has the power to force them and regulate them into the ground. Spitzer is basically Ted Kennedy minus the girth and the follicles. He is George Soros minus the difficult to understand accent. He is Ralph Nader minus the antisemitism. He is the combination of the sexual greed of Bill Clinton with the political and financial greed of Hillary Clinton.

Am I the only person that understands that this is not about sex?

Liberals are falling all over themselves to compare this to Larry Craig and David Vitter. The problem is that the left wants us to show compassion for those on both sides.

Wrong answer. We should demand better judgment from our elected officials.

For the sake of full disclosure, I have enjoyed women to excess. I was not always the choir boy that I am now. I would never get elected because here is my press conference:

Q: Eric, is it true that you enjoyed questionable relations with questionable women?

A: Every chance I got. Next question.

Q: Did you ever have platonic relations with women?

A: Yes, the ones that said no.

Q: Don’t you feel you should apologize?

A: You work in the media. Have you apologized for that?

As I said, I may not win, but everything would be out there.

What people do not understand about people like Bill Clinton, Eliot Spitzer and others is that people in power cannot under any circumstances put themselves in a position where they can be blackmailed.

What happens if a terrorist organization uses a prostitute to infiltrate a senior government official? Would that official spill national security secrets to save his own family secrets?

Have we forgotten that political consultant Dick Morris allowed a prostitute to listen in on telephone conversations with then President Bill Clinton?

At the risk of being judgmental, prostitutes are not always the most moral of characters. They sell themselves for money. Is it farfetched to think that they would betray people they take money from if somebody else offers them more money? Heck, I know what I would do for a Klondike Bar.

Eliot Spitzer violated the section of the Patriot Act that is used to crack down on money laundering. No, this does not mean President Bush is responsible for Spitzer’s situation, in case liberals need another reason to twist this. The Patriot Act prevents money laundering. This is a good thing. Any transfer over $10,000 must be reported. Some people will ask if the smart thing to do is just constantly transfer $9,500 to stay under the radar. Absolutely not. This is a giant red flag. Those that see behavior such as this must file a Suspicious Activity Report (SAR) whenever illegal behavior is suspected and the amount in question is greater than $5,000.

On a brief tangent, is a $5,500 hooker really that good? I mean maybe a $1,000 girl is 5 times better than a $200 girl (although I doubt it), but at some point doesn’t the quality level off? When I eat beef ribs, the second one does taste better than the first one, but I doubt the 20th one tastes better than the 19th one.

What type of guy spends money on a $5,500 call girl? The same type of guy that spends 2 million dollars for his wife’s birthday, complete with an ice sculpture that urinates vodka.

That was not Eliot Spitzer. That was Dennis Koslowski, the CEO of Tyco. Kozlowski is now in prison, partly due to the zealousness of Spitzer.

I want to make it crystal clear that I am not defending Kozlowski, not by a long shot. However, the embodiment of corporate avarice is just as awful with Spitzer as it is with Kozlowski. At least Kozlowski spent the money on his wife. Spitzer was paying for a prostitute when he should have been buying the mother of his children a Valentine’s Day gift.

Eliot Spitzer engaged in illegal financial trafficking. The fact that it was for sex and not drugs or illegal guns is irrelevant. If a drug dealer or gunrunner had learned of Spitzer’s activities, would they have been given a free pass to continue selling their products?

I will resist comparing Spitzer to Bill Clinton because that will place too much emphasis on the sex aspect of the story.

Spitzer is the mirror image of Hillary Clinton. The smug sense of entitlement, the willingness to destroy anything and anyone in their path, and the willingness to rail about corporate greed when they are the very embodiment of it.

Hillary bashes hedge funds, even though she and Bill used their power broker friend Vernon Jordan (the same man that obtained a job for the eminently qualified Monica Lewinsky) to place Chelsea Clinton at a hedge fund. I am sure she was a financial genius, given that her mother turned $1,000 into $100,000 playing commodities. Hillary is also the woman that smeared innocent people in the White House Travel Office. They were brought up on trumped up charges of embezzlement, and acquitted in one hour. Robert Ray’s final report did not exonerate her. It said there was simply not enough evidence to convict because she successfully stonewalled and hid the truth.

Eliot Spitzer is basically Hillary Clinton minus the cackle. In the same way Hillary screamed at Dick Morris and called him a “Jew-b@st@rd,” Spitzer screamed at Wall Street executives over the telephone and let them know he would “roll over them.”

They are both bullies who hide behind a crusader image of helping the “little people,” even though they know nothing about these common folks. They talk about making the “rich” pay their “fair share,” even though most wealthy people are busy leading productive private sector lives, not spending thousands of dollars on everything from call girls to crooked land deals.

Hillary Clinton was a slumlord. It does not stop her from condemning slumlords. Eliot Spitzer was a white collar criminal that engaged in illegal money transfers as he was cracking down on white collar criminals involving money.

In short, these two overprivileged adolescents from ultra wealthy neighborhoods wanted everybody else to sacrifice more while they took more and gave less.

Hillary continues to make excuses for why she should lose the nomination and still be given the Presidency. After all, places like Mississippi do not count. Black people voted for Barack Obama, therefore the state is invalid. She will not overtly say it, hiding behind her many disgusting surrogates.

Yet her hubris might not reach the level of a Ted Kennedy or Eliot Spitzer. Barring evidence to the contrary, Hillary did not kill anybody.

Yet Spitzer might be the worst of the lot. Hillary has not managed to destroy any economies yet. Sure she is trying to do so, but failing to screw something doesn’t count. Just ask her husband.

eric

Burn in Hell Eliot Spitzer

Tuesday, March 11th, 2008

First, some dates in American history.

March 11th, 2004…The Madrid bombing. We must win the War on Terror at all costs.

March 11th, 2007…The Tygrrrr Express enters the blogosphere. I thank every single person that contributed in any way, shape or form. 118,388 hits and counting.

March 11th, 2008…Happy Anniversary to me, a sobering reminder of Madrid, and…skewering a man through song.

“I didn’t know if it was day or night. I started screwing everything in sight. Yet when stung by a cop it was the end of the line…I lost my career….Love Potion Client # 9.”

One of the worst human beings to ever enter politics is finally burnt toast.

Like most liberals and women, he will not resign or surrender. He will go kicking, screaming and browbeating to the poisonous end.

https://tygrrrrexpress.com/2007/08/liberals-and-women-never-resign-or-surrender/

Burn in Hell Eliot. I plan to Spitzer on your political grave.

For those who read the Tygrrrr Express and are used to me being civil, today the gloves are coming off. I want Eliot Spitzer destroyed. I want his insides ripped out.

This is not about liberal vs conservative. It is about a horrible man destroying decent people just because he can. It is about a bully finally getting decked between the eyes and crying. Not since I was in Junior High School have I wanted to see a man get belted so ferociously.

For those who saw the 1980s gangster movie, “New Jack City,” let me recall a scene for you. Ice-T played a cop. Wesley Snipes played a drug dealer. ICE-T finds out that Snipes’s character Nino Brown killed an innocent schoolteacher at random for sport. That was ICE’s character’s mother. ICE-T crashes through Nino Brown’s apartment with a motorcycle, shatters the glass, and punches Brown in the face repeatedly. When the shocked drug dealer cannot understand why business has gone bad, ICE-T responds, “F*ck business b*tch, this sh*t is personal!”

I disagree with liberals. The differences are ideological. I am quite bothered by the Clintons. They offend me from a moral standpoint. Yet with Eliot Spitzer, it is personal.

The man personally hurt me.

I am a creature of Wall Street. The opening bell of the stock market is like rocket fuel for me. I hear the sound, and in my best Mills Lane voice yell, “Let’s get it on!” Whether up or down, every day is a new adventure. The smell of money is within reach.

On the trading floor, my friends and I had a creative strategy for making money, and this strategy was utilized most effectively in a bear market when stocks were down. It was the closest thing to easy money I had ever made. I used to think that short selling was unpatriotic, because it was placing bets against corporate America. However, I later realized that I was playing a fair game by the rules, and that if the corporations did their jobs, made money, and proved me wrong, I would lose my bets.

Eliot Spitzer then came on the scene and waged a Jihad against traders. The Mutual Fund Timing Scandal had rocked Wall Street, and Mr. Spitzer was having difficulty obtaining high level white collar convictions for his “perp walks” in front of the cameras. So instead of pursuing the elephants, he went after mice with elephant clubs. He needed to look like he was doing something, anything, so he banned the trading strategy my friends and I were utilizing. The few hundred shares at a clip apparently were a bigger threat than the billions flowing into mutual funds.

I walked in the office one day, and was told that my trading strategy was illegal, and that I would have to find another strategy. That is a death sentence to a trader. Only the lucky few ever develop one winning strategy, much less two. I left the trading floor, a beaten and broken man.

Although I have built a good life for myself, I do not think I will ever enjoy the same excitement that came from the trading floor. My time is past with it. I am done.

Eliot Spitzer destroyed my trading career. I hope he forever burns.

Mr. Spitzer may be too old to know the fury of the music behind Guns n Roses, but lyrics from “Welcome to the Jungle” encapsulate my feelings.

“If you’ve a hunger for what you see…take it eventually…you can have anything you want, but you better not take it from me.”

Spitzer, don’t ever…and I mean ever…mess with my family or my livelihood…and think I won’t pray for vengeance. This was 2004. I still remember.

As the New York Attorney General, he became the second coming of Eliot Ness from the Untouchables. He believed that he himself was untouchable. He harassed Wall Street like the liberal bully that he is. He banked on the fact that so many liberals are obsessed with class warfare that they would just accept that all corporations were corrupt, and that Wall Street was the root of all that evil. Yes, there was some corruption, but not on the massive scale he envisioned. He used blackmail and threats to force companies into settlements, knowing that fighting back would be a public relations death sentence.

He was the White Knight in shining liberal armor, and he would get those big, bad, conservative, republican, Wall Street bankers.

Now the king of regulation and indictments has been indicted himself, for taking part in a prostitution ring.

Although criminal sanctions and punishments involving sexual behavior are usually only directed at republicans, this case might be an exception. Bill Clinton was able to get away with it because few people expected any decency from him. Eliot Spitzer built his career destroying others for what he deemed to be immoral lifestyles. He got violently bucked off his own moral high horse, and the moral concussion upon landing could not happen to a worse guy.

I could care less about his family. He did not care about mine.

It’s the hypocrisy stupid.

I hope that every liberal that has ever criticized Joseph McCarthy understand and accept why Eliot Spitzer needs the emotional equivalent of being dragged through the town square. Personally, I think the republican Majority Leader of the New York Senate should take him away in handcuffs, a nice perp walk for the cameras. After all, Spitzer did use his office to try and trump up charges against the Majority Leader, Joseph Bruno.

Make him emotionally bleed.

The next time a left wing crusader wants to be President by trampling on the rights of innocent human beings trying to make a living while babbling on it about caring about the little guy, he might want to make sure his own house is not rotting from the inside.

He may blubber in public about how he lost his honor. This is false. He never had any.

Mr. Spitzer, I declare your way of living illegal.

New York will now have a new Governor. Whether democrat or republican, they will be better because they are not you.

Hizzdishonor, let me say to you what you said to me back in 2004.

Mr Spitzer…you worthless bucket of scum…Mr. Love Potion Client # 9…

YOU’RE FIRED!

Now get the f*ck out of my office. I am a taxpayer, and it’s my mansion, not yours.

eric

Meeting Michael Medved

Monday, March 10th, 2008

At the Republican Jewish Coalition Winter Leadership meeting in Las Vegas featured many compelling speakers, with one of them being Michael Medved.

I have met Mr. Medved before, and his book “Right Turns” is a journey into how he went from being a liberal political activist to a conservative republican author, radio host, columnist, and film critic. Yes, he is a vegetarian who lives in Seattle, but do not be fooled. He is a Jewish republican, and a kind human being. When he saw me said, “Hi Eric, how are you?” He meets many people, and probably treats them all just as nicely.

With that, below are comments by Michael Medved.

“Jews are political junkies. We are 5% of the vote, and only 1.7% of the population.”

“There is a deadlock at the Presidential level. We have had close elections for 50 years. In 8 of the last 12 elections, the winner won with 51% of the vote or less. Ronald Reagan in 1980 had only 51% of the vote. Jews voted for the Meshuganah (crazy person) John Anderson. Americans are reliably divided.”

“We should all pray for the health of Jimmy Carter, since the funeral will be excrutiating. Nobody will be truthful.”

“In 2008, New York could be in play. John McCain will campaign ferociously in California.”

“In 2004, President Bush did better in Florida, partly because Joe Lieberman was not on the ticket.”

“Barack Obama is suspect on Israel issues. He has said, ‘No people have suffered more than the Palestinians.’ Jewish people are mainly idiotic and self destructive, yet even we understand that suicide bombers don’t love us. McCain said he would not talk to Hamas. So then Obama did say today that Hamas is the one terrorist group he would not negotiate with. Yet he would negotiate with Iran’s Ahmadinewackjob. Jews are unbearably sentimental, and Obama has been masterful answering the Jewish issue.”

“Hillary is easier to run against in the Jewish community.”

I respectfully disagree with that point of view, but republican Jews, and republicans in general, are sharply divided on who would be the weaker democratic foe.

Mr. Medved then made a mistake, and to his credit, immediately retracted the comment to set the record straight.

“Envoy Dennis Ross is supporting Obama.”

The crowd seemed shocked by this, but one member of the very politically sophisticated RJC audience pointed out that Mr. Ross, appointed by the first President Bush and retained by Bill Clinton, had offered to share his advice with all of the candidates. Obama had simply taken Mr. Ross on that offer the most. Mr. Ross had not endorsed anybody, and wants whoever wins to succeed on the thorny issue of the Middle East Peace Process.

To his credit, Mr. Medved sincerely thanked the person that corrected him, and was glad the record was set straight.

Mr. Medved then continued discussing Barack Obama.

“Reestablishing the old Jewish-Black Alliance is a desire of Jews and Obama.”

He then waded into Jewish voting trends that are counter to Jewish interests.

“George McGovern made anti-Israel statements. He often spoke about an ‘internationally divided Jerusalem.’ President Richard Nixon was supplying Israel in 1973 with weapons to save Israel. McGovern was on the Senate floor speaking against this. McGovern still got 65% of the Jewish vote.”

“Jews do not vote based on Israel. President Bush is not playing an international chess game. He genuinely believes and loves Israel in his heart. 70% of Israelis backed President Bush over John Kerry.”

Mr. Medved then got to the heart of what is presentation of why the Jewish community votes against its own interests.

“Why are Jews liberal? Because they have a fear of Christianity. Woody Allen is not one of the great philosophers of all time. We have different attitudes towards Israel…and families. So what unites Conservative (politically) Jews and liberal Jews? We have only one thing in common. We do not believe Jesus is God. With liberal Jews, the only Jewish identity is a negative. Liberal Jews are allergic to Christianity. This is why they cannot support President Bush, despite his being the most Pro-Israel President ever. In a 1999 debate, he stated that his favorite philosopher was Jesus Christ. At that moment, he was done among liberal Jews. They recoiled.”

“Let freedom ring, and let victory prevail in the land of the free.”

One area of contention is that Israel is always asked to show restraint in the face of terror. They are told that their responses are “disproportionate.” Mr. Medved had his opinion.

“Israel should be proportionate. We should send rockets and kill schoolchildren. Those who claim to care about human rights do not care when Gaza rockets are aimed at Israel.”

Another questioner wanted to know how republican common sense could be used to infiltrate liberal Rabbis.

“Mona Charen once said that liberal Jews are basically ‘the democratic party with holidays.’ Every Jew is born an expert on politics. Reform Judaism has been hurt by its confusing religion with politics.”

Mr. Medved was then asked if there was a Jewish guilt factor regarding Obama.

“Yes, there is a Jewish guilt factor that goes back to the Civil Rights days. Yet if we truly want to honor Martin Luther King Jr.’s dream, we should judge Obama and McCain by the content of their character, not the color of their skin. Pigmentation as an item of religious favor is Unamerican.”

With regards to Mike Huckabee, Medved replied, “We all love Huckabee, but there’s a time Governor, there’s a time.”

With regards to illegal immigration, Mr. Medved holds a sensible position that President Bush and Senator McCain seem to understand.

“26% of children born today are Latino. 22% of illegals are Asian. They arrived in airports. 10% of illegals have college degrees. Until McCain, the GOP was headed towards a permanent train wreck. The Tom Tancredo wing of the party will leave the GOP doomed to permanent minority status, and will never win an election. The democratic playbook is banking on heavy support from Latinos. McCain won 70% of Latinos in Arizona, and by a 6:1 margin over Mitt Romney in Florida. 40% of illegals have a blood relative that is a U.S. citizen. Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush had large Latino support.”

The night before Mr. Medved spoke, I had a chance to sit down with him and one other person for about 20 minutes. He spoke about the need to show compassion for all of God’s children,. whether black or white, gay or straight, religious or secular. Mr. Medved is simply a sincere person with honest convictions, and is able to express them with humor and likability. He is not afriad to take on those on the left or the right that allow vitriol to get in the way of what the ultimate goal is…to make the world a better place.

As always,  it was a pleasure to see Michael Medved. His mind is sound and logical, and his heart is in the right place, with the emphasis on right.

eric

Wyoming and Mississippi Exist

Sunday, March 9th, 2008

Barack Obama trouncing Hillary Clinton in Wyoming is not what matters. His most likely thrashing of her in Mississippi is not the issue either. What is actually relevant in this demicratic primary is that liberals are discovering what conservatives have known for a long time about places like Wyoming and Mississippi. Liberals are figuring out that these places actually exist.

As much as it pains me to say it, one of the biggest lunatics in the democratic party, and boy does that say a lot, was right about an issue. Howard Screaming Dean wants the democratic party to run a 50 state strategy. Democrats are right now an 18 to 20 state party. Even on the rare occasions when they eke out Presidential election victories, they can’t govern because too much of America is put off by them.

Yes, liberals are seen as a bunch of effete snobs that attend wine and cheese parties and worship Pre-Sarkozy France. Outside of big cities containing many minorities, nobody likes these people.

This can be seen in Hillary Clinton trying to basically steal the democratic nomination by any illegal means necessary. Her main strategy is to invalidate the states that vote for Barack Obama.

The logic goes something like this: Hillary Clinton won Massachussetts. Massachussetts is liberal. Therefore, she is the best representative for the democrats. Obama won Idaho. Idaho is conservative. Therefore, since the republicans will win Idaho anyway, his victory is meaningless.

Hillary, her arrogance towards red state America neverending, wants to run a 20 state election. Obama talks about uniting people. Hillary talks about defeating the evil republicans.

One cannot govern effectively when they write off a large segment of America and tell those people, “We don’t need you. You don’t count. You don’t matter.” It is this misguided thinking that keeps many republicans from going into black neighborhoods looking for votes. For awhile, republicans ignored Jews. An amazing thing then happened. Somebody in the republican party actually decided to talk to them and listen to them, and more Jews are voting republican than a few years ago.

Hillary cannot understand that people who shop at Walmart, go hunting, watch football and Nascar, and enjoy staying home and baking cookies, are actually people worthy of her association. She is married to one of these people, but make no mistake about it. She has contempt for Middle America. It is not about liberal vs conservative. It is about elitism vs the dignity of ordinary people that are extraordinary in their own way.

Hillary won by small margins in large states, while Obama won by large margins in small states. Obama is generating enthusiasm in places where republicans normally dominate. Hillary argues that those states are unwinnable in a general election anyway. How does she know this? Has she tried?

Changes do not happen overnight. Let’s say Idaho votes for republicans by a 30 point margin. If Idaho only goes for the republicans by 15 or 20 points this time, that is still making inroads. It will not be enough time to help Hillary, but it would be good for the party overall in the long run.

That is the crux of the issue. Hillary does not care about the party. She never has. If she loses this primary race, she will do everything but publicly endorse John McCain, the same way she could barely hide her glee when John Kerry was defeated.

Yet for a woman who says she is ready to lead on day one, she might want to do less talking and more listening. There are 30 states that she does not want to bother with. When she loses them, she dismisses them as unimportant. It is not that they are lost causes for democrats. It is they do not like her. This is in keeping with her attitude that a vote against her is a vote against all women.

I will not be voting for Barack Obama in the general election. I am backing John McCain. Yet at least Obama will go into states that have not been friendly to democrats and talk to people. Red state voters are not the enemy. They are Americans, and no bad ever came out of offering a sincere hearty handshake to good people, regardless of affiliation.

Hillary will dismiss the results from Wyoming and Mississippi. Others know the truth. It is they who rejected her first.

Obama is far from perfect on issues that most voters in Wyoming and Mississippi care about, but I give him credit. At least he recognizes that these people exist.

eric

Entering Victoria’s Secret

Saturday, March 8th, 2008

I am not a brave man. I freely admit that I am a girly sissy pansy boy.

It is snowing in Chicago, and I am deathly afraid the fat white oversized wet things are going to find me, give me influenza, and kill me. While the Chicago Cannonball is frolicking around in a pajama top, making this city very bearable, I can only say that I am glad I did not have to embarrass myself to buy that silver piece of cloth.

Those silk pajamas were bought in Thailand. That was not scary. I went into a normal store and bought them. I do not speak Thai, but it was a regular transaction. I did not have to go into the place that turns this Tygrrrr into a lamb. I did not have to venture into Victoria’s Secret.

Yes, this republican becomes very ultra conservative when the topic is women’s underwear. I do not mind biting them off of a woman with my teeth, but don’t make me buy them. I am just not into the details and nuances required to buy the stuff. Why can’t women be like men and just go into a grocery store and buy Hanes? I mean they fit fine, and Inspector 12 made sure they were quality.

I had to go into Victoria’s Secret in 1990. A girl I liked worked there in the mall. Would it have killed her to have worked in the food court instead? Then we could have gotten free pizza or something. No, I had to pick her up in Victoria’s Secret. I took a female friend with me to the mall for moral support.

When my friend could not understand why I was so intimidated by that place, I told her that men should not go in there. She pointed out that lots of men go in there, but my response, which I maintain to this very day is that “Men who are in Victoria’s Secret are way too happy to be in there.”

Instead of going in to get my date, I sent my friend in. I knew that would be manly. One reason the date liked me when we met was because I came across as a tough guy. My plan failed when my friend came back out and said, “Eric, she is gorgeous, you have to go in there and get her.” When I asked why my friend did not simply bring her out, I was told that I was to go in.

With much trepidation, I entered the store, looking all around to see who was looking at me. A saleswoman was looking at me and ready to approach me. I was scared to death, wondering why any saleswoman would talk to me in that store. Couldn’t she look at me and have her female ESP tell her that I was not a customer? The woman asked me, “May I help you?” I replied, “No!” and then ran out of the store.

I then told my friend we were going home. So yes, I pased up a chance to meet a gorgeous girl because it is better to be seen as a (insert bad word women use for guys who act like whateve that word is) than a women’s underwear pervert.

While I vowed to never go in again, my Hebrew faith led me back into the store. For those wondering what Judaism has to do with lady’s underwear, the answer is simple. 18 is a lucky number in Jewish culture. My dear friend “Sir Sleep A Lot” was visiting from Israel. He needed to buy something sexy for his fiancee. Given that 2008 was 18 years after my last visit, I had to go in.

The worst part was listening to the salespeople ask him exactly what the contours of his fiancee were. Apparently there are different types pf underwear for different women. I refused to listen to the presentation, scared that somebody from the republican party would enter the place and compare me to Larry Craig or something. Then again, if they are republicans, what are they doing in Victoria’s Secret anyway?

Sir Sleep A Alot could not figure out a way to explain to the salespeople that his girlfriend would make Sir Mix A Lot’s girlfriend proud. For those that are not up on rap music from 15 years ago, the song was “Baby Got Back.”

Luckily I had a 21st century reference. I told my friend to tell the saleswoman that his fiancee had a “badonkadonk.” He had trouble saying the word, but the saleswoman understood and smiled. I am glad I did not have to bring up my unhealthy fascination with Monique from Showtime at the Apollo to explain it further.

While some men may find it erotic to have a well endowed saleswoman discussing the romantic possibilities of edible underthings, I just kept staring at my watch and wondering how long it can take to throw something in a box and buy it. As I said, I do not mind the end results at home, but I don’t want to go throug the process of purchasing them. If the lord wanted me to get erotic lingerie in front of the world he would not have created the internet with help from Al Gore. Besides, given what a pantywaist Gore is, I am sure he is an expert about Victoria’s Secret. Tipper did say he was a great lover. He is stiff after all.

The saleswoman saw my discomfort, and finally asked me why I felt that way. I stated that “I am sure most of the men who come in here are perverts, and I prefer not to be lumped in that category.” She laughed, but I continued.

“Be honest, how many guys try to buy the mannequins?” Sir Sleep A Lot was mortified at the thought, gentleman that he is, but my suspicions were confirmed. Men do offer to buy the Mannequins. Some men only want the appendages! I was in a store where guys try to traffic in fake human body parts! Are you kidding me?

I just am too incredibly, dare I say it, normal. My answer to everything is “Strawberry.” When I worked at a gift store in 1994, I was in charge of coffee mugs. If you wanted to know about mugs, I was your mug man. The store sold cute “Hello Kitty Stuff,” greeting cards, and other seasonal merchandise. Yet they had a small erotica section, and when a girl asked me which flavor of edible underthings was best, I went back to ask the manager. She told me in those situations to just recommend strawberry and move on to the next customer.

I am the son of retired schoolteachers for crying out loud. I am not descendant from people who buy mannequins, blow up dolls, or underwear that talks back in a sexy voice. I have no idea if that exists, but some sick twisted individual will invent if they have not already.

Maybe I should be more sympathetic towards Bill Clinton. I will wave my finger at America and say that I had no knowledge of any aforementioned panties, not one time, never. I have not once ever wondered what underclothing Hillary Clinton or Bea Arthur wear, and you should all be disgusted for bringing it up.

As for the Chicago Cannonball, at least she is using her laptop for something productive while I release my anxieities to the blogosphere. I could make another remark about her “laptop,” but I am not that sophomoric. She does have much nicer underclothing than me, but if asked to testify before Congress, she bought it without my help.

The snow is coming down hard, and I do not see myself leaving the bedroom. I pray that the Chicago Cannonball does not turn into one of those women that sends a guy out into the cold and snow to shop for feminine hygiene products. Being emasculated once every 18 years is enough for this nice Jewish boy from a good family.

Is it 2026 yet?

eric

My Meeting Prime Minister John Howard

Friday, March 7th, 2008

At the most recent winterly quarterly meeting of the Republican Jewish Coalition in Las Vegas, I had the pleasure of meeting John Howard. The former Prime Minister of Australia will go down as one of the great leaders of all time.

One aspect of his visit that was so special was that his speech was the very first one he made to any American audience since giving up his Prime Minister post in November of 2007. The day after his final race for office, I offered him a hearty thank you on my blog.

https://tygrrrrexpress.com/2007/11/godspeed-mr-john-howard/

One columnist speculated why this popular man was not even more popular, and attributed to his everman appeal.

“It is puzzling that Howard doesn’t have a higher global reputation. Perhaps it is because he looks like a branch bank manager from Waga Waga.”

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2006/05/howards_australia_a_conservati.html 

Ambassador Mel Semblor, in his introduction of Mr. Howard, mentioned some significant historical moments involving Australia and Mr. Howard. On 9/11, Mr. Howard was in America in Washington, D.C. at the time of the attack. He was not able to leave for several days, but after a few days was escorted safely back home on Air Force 2. After the attack, he recalled the common bonds of America and Australia, and boldly stated on behalf of all of Australia that “this is no time to be an 80% ally.” That remark won him plaudits for him and his nation.

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2006/06/why_i_love_australia.html

Australia is the only nation to have fought along side America in every single war in the 20th and 21st centuries. In 1962, a young John Howard stated that he had a “personal regard for Israel and the Jewish people, and that they should never be diminished.”  

Below is the substance of Prime Minister John Howard’s remarks, with substance being an understatement.

“While Australia and America have many common bonds, there are two differences that stand out. In Australia, unlike America, blue is a good color and red is a bad color. Also, in Australia, the liberal party is the conservative party.”

Mr. Howard expressed his deep affection for America, Israel, and the Jewish people in general. Speaking of in general, he took great pride in pointing out that one of the great military leaders of all time was an Australian Jewish man named Sir John Monash. He led critical victories in war in 1918.

John Howard’s middle name is Winston. While his being named after Winston Churchill in itself may seem common enough, what makes this special is that John Howard was born in 1939, before Churchill became the Prime Minister of Britain. Mr. Howard’s father saw greatness in Winston Churchill before the rest of the world did, and named his son after a man he just knew would be great. Mr. Churchill was not only a defender of liberty over tyranny, but also a friend and admirer of the Jewish people as well.

Like Mr. Churchill and few since, Mr. Howard understands and articulates in a crystal clear manner the titanic struggle the civilized world faces today.

“The most important thing we must possess is cultural self belief.”

“The enemy, the Islamofacists, despise freedom of women in our society. They despise the fairness and justice of our judicial system. Their greatest weapon is that over time, our cultural self belief will fade. We must have a federal cultural compact. They despise weakness most.”

He stated that those who believe that peace can come from understanding the cultural beliefs of the Islamofacists are creating a “temporary illusion on borrowed time.”

“The greatest force for good in the world are the power of free peoples.”

He visited Iraq last March, and sat down with General David Petraeus. General Petraeus literally wrote the book on counterinsurgency, and he understood “the simple doctrine of ‘clear and hold'”

Mr. Howard was baffled by those who want to help Afghanistan reach democracy, but deny the asme noble goal in Iraq. “It is naive in the extreme, and an odd piece of logic, that the Afghanistan War is good and the Iraq War is bad.”

Mr. Howard also made it clear to separate Islamofacists from all Muslims. “Australia has 20 million people. Indonesia is the largest Muslim nation, with 200 million people. The Prime Minister of Indonesia is a moderate who ‘concentrates the mind on making sure relations are good'”

Since Indonesia became a democracy again in 1998, they have elected a Pro-Western leader. “We must work with Muslim nations that are moderate.”

“We are free because we fought tyranny and oppression. Our way is not perfect, but as a political system with all its nuances, it works.”

Mr. Howard then delivered the line that has given him worldwide standing ovations.

“Those who want Sharia law, live in a country that has it!”

“People who come to Australia, I only ask they become Australians. Australian life does not resemble Sharia.”

“I enjoyed the roast last night (of the RJC Executive Director). Like in Australia, roasts are a way of saying uncomplimentary things in a complimentary way. The RJC has gone from having meetings in a telephone booth to a large convention center in a few years.”

“History will treat President George W. Bush with increasing kindness and approval.”

Mr. Howard was asked if he had advice for the next American President regarding the issue of appeasement of Islamofacists.

“Not all Muslims are extremists, but avoid the ‘muffled description’ of the language of the BBC and CNN, such as referring to terrorist activities as ‘military incursions.’ Plain language is important, avoid cultural self doubt. John McCain will not have a problem with any of this.”

He was thena sked why other nations besides Australia were not standing tall besides America.

“Besides President Bush, there has been Tony Blair in England, as well as Stephen Harper in Canada.”

When asked about Iran, he stated that he is “skeptical of the view that Iran is not developing nuclear capability.”

He offered sobering comments regarding Pakistan.

“Pakistan is one of the most important countries in this puzzle. It has some unstable, Pro-Taliban elements. President Pervez Musharraf cops a lot of criticism, but he has put his hand up for America. We should never forget that in 2001 they backed the right side. The alternative might be worse, not as Pro-Western. Pakistan is a real tinderbox. Let’s not imagine that the alternative is Pro-Western.”

He was asked how we find moderates to deal with.

“After Bali (the nightclub disco bombing by Islamofacists), there was an eye opening investigation, and a level of cooperation with the Indonesian police that gave me hope. The killers were brought to justice. They killed 88 of our people. We have common cause with people that have been terrorist victims. More Muslims have died from terrorism than Jews or Christians anywhere in the world except Israel. ”

One questioner wanted to know how we get Russia back on our side.

“Speaking frankly, I am not sure Russia has ever been on our side. Sparking World War I, they were behind the assassination of Australian Archduke Franz Ferdinand. They backed Serbia over Ksovo. Vladimir Putin is an ‘interesting man,’ the first ever Russian head of state to visit Australia. Russia wants to be the next world superpower. There is no other superpower in the forseeable future but the United States of America. Russia has been difficult over Iraq, along with ‘another nation.'”

After the speech, I got to meet Prime Minister Howard. I had actually met him the night before at the gala dinner proceeding the conference. He was warm and friendly. He was among friends, but so were we. I did not bring the gift I had for him that night, so I was lucky I got to see him after his speech to give him his gift, that being the aforementioned article I wrote for him thanking him for his service to the world.

I said to him, “Mr. Howard, it is an honor sir. It is fitting that you admire Mr. Churchill. I am a republican blogger. While you say the history books will be kind to President Bush, I want you to know that they will also be very kind to you. To praphrase Mr. Churchill, it is because I will be writing that history, and my keyboard will get the job done.”

He was thankful and grateful, and beyond pleasant.

I also met Mr. Howard’s wife Jeannette. An elegant and refined woman that appeared to combine the steel of Margaret Thatcher with the grace of Nancy Reagan, I reminded her of a comment her husband made in his speech about various past American Presidents. I then reminded her of another tradition.

“Mrs. Howard, It is also a tradition in America for defeated Presidents and Presidential candidates, especially republican ones, to come back and rule again. Is your husband ready to enjoy his vacation and then rule Australia again in 2010?”

She laughed warmly but emphatically stated, “10 years of anyone ruling anything is enough. We had our time, and it is time to move on.”

After taking a couple pictures with Mr. Howard (he was pleased that I asked Mrs. Howard to be in the pictures as well), I thanked him again for his service and bade him Godspeed.

Between their dignity, grace, class, and kindness, it is nice to know that beneath that sincere veneer lay spines of steel. These people never “went wobbly.” They maintained their “stiff upper lips.”

May God bless Prime Minister John Howard and Mrs. Jeannette Howard.

I would say that the history books will vindicate John Howard and prove him right, but I am prepared to accelerate that vindication.

Mr. Howard, it is not that you will be right. You already are. I and many others in the free world thank you.

eric

A Republican Jewish Party in Las Vegas

Thursday, March 6th, 2008

The Republican Jewish Coalition held its quarterly leadership meeting in Las Vegas on Tuesday. As always, it combined a diverse group of speakers united by three common threads: 1) A Jewish perspective…2) A Politically right of center perspective…3) Most importantly, probably due to reasons 1 and 2, a significant and relevant perspective.

This conference may have occurred on March 4th, but it was no democratic primary. It mattered. As a member of the RJC leadership in California, I attend their leadership meetings not just to see old friends and make new ones, but to learn. These meetings are not for the intellectually faint hearted. With apologies to Gertrude Stein, there is plenty of there there.

The gala dinner the night before the meetings was a tribute to Republican Jewish Coalition Executive Director Matt Brooks, who was celebrating his 20th anniversary with the organization. It has often been stated that the number of republican Jews could fit in a phone booth. Apparently that memo was lost on the 30,000 members of this organization. Matt has played an instrumental role in this outreach.

The leader of the California chapter of the RJC is Larry Greenfield, and in a previous life he and I were soulmates. He is a conservative republican with a background in the military and Wall Street, as well as a football fan. I told him I was not going to this meeting because I had more important expenditures at the time. Larry then informed me that former Australian Prime Minister John Howard would be the featured speaker. Knowing that this was the political equivalent of feeding crack to a junkie, I shook my fist to the sky, said, D@ng you Larry Greenfield, and happily attended. With the exception of becoming a liberal, I cannot think of a reason to say no to anything Larry asks me.

Ari Fleischer gave the opening roast of Matt Brooks. As he said, a roast is a way of saying uncomplimentary things in a complimentary way. Ari handled it well, as expected.

John Howard is a legend. Last year the RJC’s featured guest was Vice President Dick Cheney. Like Mr. Cheney, Mr. Howard is an understated man whose significance to the world cannot be overstated. His visit to the RJC conference was his first visit to the United States since leaving his post as Prime Minister. The man is a rock star, and the RJC must be given credit for landing him as the featured guest. Mr. Howard is an admirer of Winston Churchill (his middle name is Winston), and I let him know that as a blogger, in the spirit of Churchill, history would be very kind to him because I would be writing that history. He was thankful and appreciative.

Vice President Cheney’s former Chief of Staff Scooter Libby was in attendance. He received a standing ovation, justifiably so. Given that Jews have suffered much persecution, it is no surprise that Mr. Libby is a sympathetic figure to many. Witch hunts know no bounds, and I hope that if they ever come for me, somebody will be there to speak up. Mr. Libby also has a bond with Jewish republicans, given that Jewish liberals want to destroy Jewish republicans and Bush appointees with reckless abandon simply for existing. I told Mr. Libby that I will continue to pray for him and his family.

Radio talk show Michael Medved gave a brilliant presentation on why Jews are overwhelmingly politically liberal. His message is not entirely new, but it is such an intelligently delivered and relevant message that it needs to be hammered into every person who fails to understand the complicated dynamic that is the Hebrew people.

I had a nice conversation with Michael Medved and David Blumberg, who is trying to singlehandedly turn San Francisco republican red. He has not succeeded yet, but give him time. He is also a Wall Street guy, and wears his Bay Area republicanism proudly. As for Mr. Medved, he interviewed Richard Baehr from “The American Thinker” on his radio program. As always, Richard offered insightful analysis on everything from the 2008 elections to health care issues, his area of expertise.

An energy panel that included Cliff May, Dr. Gal Luft, Dr. Robert Zubrin, and Steven Hantler was simply brilliant. Reducing American dependence on foreign oil is an issue that can unite environmental liberals and national security conservatives. Dr. Luft might be one of the world’s foremost experts on flexible fuel vehicles. President Bush has stated in the past that America is “addicted to oil.” This panel offered a blueprint to break that stranglehold.

David Frum, author of the book about President Bush called “The Right Man,” led a group discussion that was focused on trying to make the republican party the majority party again. From 1980 to 2002, the republican party made gains. In 2002, there was actually party parity with the demagoguic and republican parties. Since then, the democrats now have a 5 to 3 voter advantage, back to the 1980 levels.

Many on the left will theorize that liberalism is simply the dominant philosophy. Of course, this is wrong. The republican party has great ideas, but no matter how good a product or service is, it must be marketed effectively. Mr. Frum focused on how conservatives can effectively mesh sound policy with a winning electoral strategy. One advantage we have is that we are united. The RJC did endorse Senator John McCain for President, and will work tirelessly to help elect this American hero and staunch friend of Jewish people and Israel.

Not to put the other RJC members to shame, but Las Vegas is about gambling, and the money I invested in a one armed bandit before I left Las Vegas yielded a spectacular 75% return. I then invested my $1.75 in a bottle of soda, which was 100% kosher.

While I could have rolled over those winnings another few hundred times, allowing me to be a member of the Chairman’s Council, such economic programs are best left for those that are not burdened by cumbersome concepts such as reality, that being most liberals, especially Jewish ones.

So while my $1 gamble did not allow me to grow rich financially, this conference absolutely nourished my brain, and those of virtually all in attendance.

America is locked in a life and death struggle to save all of humanity. Civilization cannot be rescued with platitudes, or even “solutions” disguised as platitudes. It requires rolling up our proverbial sleeves, and getting down to business. While there was entertaining aspects to the RJC quarterly winter leadership meeting, this was a serious business and policy conference.

I wish the Republican Jewish Coalition continued success, and look forward to a day when the words republican and Jewish become redundant.

eric