THE TYGRRRR EXPRESS

Another exciting day in the NFL, or as I call it, a reason to wake up on Sundays (with apologies to those who attend Church).

For those who are looking for my standard NFL Recap, scroll down a few paragraphs. Another football game took place a day earlier involving the coed flag football league I am in. After my bye week due to business travel, the Brown Team I am on had a rematch with the Green Team from our first match. We did not have enough players, so a couple of theirs joined our side. Nevertheless, with two weeks rest, I had a breakout game that nobody besides me should care about.

I normally run short passing routes, but my rested 35 year old legs ran a stop and go route to perfection. The bomb was perfectly thrown, I caught it in stride, and slowed down after crossing the end zone. After pointing to the sky for no reason except that I guess that’s what people who score do, I made sure that the after touchdown spike went far in the air. We were up 14-0.

Later on, I passed up a chance to have a 4th down interception on a Hail Mary by remembering ESPN Analyst Tom Jackson’s advice to just KNOCK IT DOWN! I hit it like a volleyball. Later on, I had a chance at an end zone interception, but a mistimed jump led to me getting bonked in the face. Wobbly, after finding my glasses, I staggered off the field. After 2 or 3 plays, I readjusted them, and came back in. If Jack Youngblood can play in the Superbowl with one leg, I can play with one eye. Besides, I am a Raider. We are pirates, and one eye is all that is needed.

I actually caught a short pass, faked out a couple defenders, and may have scored if my glasses did not come loose again, forcing me to run out of bounds as the defender closed in. On defense, the only pass completed against me was a long bomb. I actually got an entire hand on it, and somehow in midair the receiver ripped it from my hand. Even he seemed surprised.

Since the league was coed, due to an imbalance, I was covering women. I think I accidentally got to second base with one of them even though this was not baseball. She ran into me, and my hand was open. There was no grabbing or squeezing, so she will not be suing me. Also, this league does not have butt-slapping, since every man is one accusation away from being Clarence Thomas. Anyway, after her bouncie bounced against me, I put my hands in the air the same way a player acts when flagged for a penalty.

As for the other woman I covered, we collided once, and she then helped me up. Hey, I was wobbling around one-eyed trying to play football. I retaliated by breaking up a couple passes meant for her. She retaliated by having a boyfriend who is not me. Football is complex.

Anyway, the Brown Team won the game 44-7, and despite a soak in the jacuzzi, like Bill Murray in Space Jam, I am again contemplating retirement. Going out on top with a win is in my thoughts.

The ultimate indignity was when I returned a call to my mother.

“Hi mom. I just got home. I was out playing football.”

She replied, “You mean watching football?”

I said, “No mom, playing. I’m in a league.”

She then quizzically asked, “Isn’t that physical activity?”

Yes, being an unrecognized hero and legend in my own mind is tough, but somebody has got to do it.

Anyway, for those who skipped over the above tale of heroism, there were other football games played besides mine by players even more talented than me. It is in that spirit that I bring you all this week’s NFL Recap.

Tennessee Titans @ Houston Texans–With Former President George Herbert Walker Bush and his wife Barbara in attendance, they and the rest of the fans were treated to an error filled game. Vince Young sat out, allowing Kerry Collins to start. He got hit, fumbled, and had it returned for a touchdown, giving the Texans a 7-3 lead. Matt Schaub then got injured on an interception and left the game. Rob Bironas had 5 field goals in the first half, putting the Titans up 22-7. When Bironas added his 6th field goal, Tennessee led 32-7.

The Texans mounted a furious rally to close to 32-22, when Bironas tied the NFL record with his 7th field goal. Yet Houston went 75 yards in 12 plays in under 2 minutes to close the game to 6 points with 1:37 left. The Texans recovered the onsides kick, but it was nullified by a penalty. The Texans then recovered the onsides kick again. Sage Rosenfeld…yes Sage Rosenfeld…threw a 53 yard bomb to Andre Davis for a touchdown and a 36-35 Houston lead with 57 seconds left. Yes, Tennessee led 32-7 in the 4th quarter. Tennessee still had all 3 timeouts, and Rob Bironas had a chance to make NFL history if he could nail an 8th field goal. Kerry Collins threw a 46 yard pass to Roydell Williams, and the Titans were in range. A 29 yard field goal attempt for the win and NFL history. Gary Kubiak called the timeout to ice a kicker who had made 7 field goals. Bironas nailed it. No matter what happens from here on out, Rob Bironas is now an NFL legend. Sage Rosenfeld had 4 touchdown passes in the 4th quarter alone, and the Texans almost overcame a game in which they had 6 turnovers Apparently the NFL Network missed the ending, because they had the Texans winning 36-35, with a big “Texans win” sign. Dewey also defeated Truman. Nevertheless, it was eventually corrected. 38-36 Titans

Baltimore Ravens @ Buffalo Bills–An ugly defensive game involving the Ravens…water is wet. This time it was the Bills kicking field goals, three of them in the first half for a 9-0 Bills lead. Willis McGahee scored on a 47 yard touchdown run before the half. Kyle Boller filled in for an injured Steve McNair, while Trent Edwards continued to make a case for keeping the job when J.P. Losman gets healthy. In the second half Lindell added a 4th field goal, and Buffalo led 19-7. At that point, both teams tried to lose. The Ravens drove inside the Buffalo 10 yard line and turned it over on downs, only to have Trent Edwards throw an interception to Samari Rolle. Although it set up a touchdown, it was not enough to overcome a solid defensive effort by Buffalo. 19-14 Bills

New England Patriots @ Miami Dolphins–The 6-0 New England Patriots, despite Tom Brady and Randy Moss, will at some point lose a game and fall short of the 1972 Dolphins. The 0-6 Miami Dolphins, Despite Trent Green out for the season, will at some point win a game and avoid duplicating the 1976 Buccaneers. Neither occurred today, and this is not why they play the games. Goliath beat up David, stole his girlfriend, and took his lunch money.

Brady threw 2 touchdown passes in the first quarter as the Patriots got off to a quick 14-0 start and never looked back. After the Dolphins actually drove and scored, Willie Anderson returned the ensuing kickoff 77 yards for a touchdown and a 21-7 lead. The game officially became “unfair” when Tom Brady threw a bomb into double coverage, and Randy Moss outjumped them both and caught it for Brady 3rd touchdown pass and a 28-7 Patriots lead. At that point Brady had a perfect 158.3 quarterback rating, which would be even more impressive if anybody knew what that meant or how it was calculated. A few minutes later the Patriots ran the exact same play, with the exact same result. I thought it was instant replay, but it was a second bomb, Moss out-jumping two defenders, and Brady’s 4th touchdown pass and a 35-7 lead. Even the rare time they punted, they downed it at the 2 yard line. Just before the half, Brady’s 5th touchdown pass gave the Patriots a 42-7 lead. At halftime, coach Cam Cameron called Norv Turner to get his old job back at San Diego. No, not really. Brady has 27 touchdown passes, and Randy Moss has 10 touchdown receptions. No, they did not all happen in this game. It only seemed like it. 49-28 Patriots

San Francisco 49ers @ New York Giants–17 years ago these teams played two of the greatest defensive games ever played. Today a pair of overrated teams played in a game that was noteworthy for Amani Toomer becoming the all time Giants touchdown receiving leader. His catch from Manning put the Giants up 6-0. A Trent Dilfer touchdown pass put the 49ers up 7-6, the missed extra point being the difference. Brandon Jacobs ran hard, and the G-men led 19-7 at the half. The game was never close, and the 49ers scored a garbage touchdown to fall way short. Dilfer was sacked 6 times, and had an interception returned 75 yards for a touchdown. 33-15 Giants

Atlanta Falcons @ New Orleans Saints–Last year guys named Gleason and Deloach were part of the greatest blocked punt in NFL history. The Saints were the feel good story of the year, and the Falcons, though underachievers, had the best quarterback in football. This year, with respect to Katrina victims, the levees have broken on the seasons of both of these very bad teams. Nevertheless, it was a seesaw game. Down 16-14, A drew Brees swing pass to Reggie Bush went for a few yards and a otuchdown. What made it impressive was that Bush was stopped cold at the 2 yard line, and suddenly morphed into the second coming of Mike Alstott. Then, for an encore, the 2 point conversion was electric, as he ran way wide and dove for the pileon. That was the difference. New Orleans has won back to back games. 22-16 Saints

Arizona Cardinals @ Washington Redskins–The Cardinals entire history was summed up on one play, that being the last play of the first half. Down 14-0, with 4th and goal at the 2, Kurt Warner threw a touchdown pass. The extra point was then blocked, and kicker Neil Rackers got into a fight with a Redskins player, with offsetting face mask penalties. Kurt Warner threw a 27 yard touchdown pass to London Fletcher. Unfortunately, Fletcher plays defense for the Redskins. Rod Cartwright returned the opening kickoff 80 yards to the Cardinals 21 yard line. Given the beauty of this game, it set up a missed field goal. The teams exchanged touchdowns, and with 2 minutes left, Kurt Warner had the Cardinals on the move. A swing pass went for 32 yards down to the Redskins 3 yard line. The Cardinals scored the touchdown to close within 2 points. The earlier blocked extra point loomed large. In one of the most bizarre play calls I have seen in some time, Kurt Warner remained on the sidelines for the conversion. Wide receiver Anquon Boldin lined up at quarterback, rolled out, and threw an interception. Yes, these are the Cardinals. Of course, 20 seconds was plenty of time for insanity. The Cardinals outgained the Redskins 364 to 160 in yards, but that does not equal points. Nevertheless, the Cardinals recovered the onsides kick, and with 10 seconds left, Neil Rackers was in range for a 55 yard field goal attempt.

On a side note, back in the 1980s, the Cardinals and the Redskins were playing for the division championship. On the last play of the game, the Redskins led 29-27, and the Cardinals had a 50 yard field goal attempt by Neil O’Donohue. The kick was way wide left, and the Redskins won the division. The Cardinals went 5-11 the following year, and have been terrible since.

As for the game today, the kick was barely wide left. Again, these are the Cardinals. 21-19 Redskins.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Detroit Lions–It seems like only like last year that these teams were fighting for the # 1 draft pick. It was last year, and both of them failed to achieve that. This year both teams are above 500, proving only that the season is still relatively early. Tampa Bay had the ball for almost 36 minutes, yet did nothing with it. Jason Hanson had 3 field goals, and the Lions led 16-7 at that point. Tampa Bay got the Lions one yard line in the 4th quarter, where they then fumbled the ball away. Detroit went down the field, and a great reverse play by Calvin Johnson went for a 32 yard touchdown and a 23-7 Lions lead. The Buccaneers, in a trend throughout the league this year, scored a touchdown, missed the 2 point conversion, and recovered the onsides kick. It set up a field goal, but the next onsides kick was recovered by Detroit. John Kitna completed 18 straight passes, and 37 of 45 overall, in a losing effort. 23-16 Lions

New York Jets @ Cincinnati Bengals–Two teams expected to go to the playoffs instead are having nightmarish seasons. Chad Pennington threw two touchdown passes to Laverneous Coles, one a 57 yard bomb and the other a short pass that was helped along with awful Cincinnati tackling on defense. The Jets led 20-10 at the half. A 23-10 lead evaporated in typical Jets fashion, and the Bengals led by a point early in the 4th quarter. Another touchdown with 6 minutes left put the Jets down by 8 points. An interception return for a touchdown with 37 seconds completed the New York meltdown. They did score a touchdown and a two point conversion on a Hail Mary on the last play of the game, which meant nothing. Kenny Watkins had three touchdowns on the day, and the Bengals 28 straight point stunned the Jets, but not anybody who follows football. Once again, J-E-T-S stands for “Just end the season.” 38-31 Bengals

Chicago Bears @ Philadelphia Eagles–This was not the Fog Bowl, so neither offense had an excuse for why they played in a fog. Nevertheless, Buddy Ryan must have been smiling somewhere as both of his former defensive teams slugged it out, with Philly leading a battle of field goals 9-3 at the half. Chicago added 3 field goals in the second half to lead 12-9, but Philly actually scored a touchdown with 5 minutes left. Chicago got the ball back with 1:57 left, no timeouts, and 97 yards to go, but two field goals, even on a day like today, was unlikely. They needed a touchdown of their own. There was no way they would drive the length of the field, except that they did. They got to the Eagles 15 with 15 seconds left. Griese threw a touchdown pass to Muhsin Muhammad with 9 seconds left. How fitting that shortly after Ramadan, a fellow named Muhammad had a feast against a normally good Philly defense. In a shocker, Chicago prevailed. 19-16 Bears

St. Louis Rams @ Seattle Seahawks–Matt Hasselbeck had a touchdown pass in a sloppy first half, and Seattle led 10-3 at the half. Seattle wide receiver Nate Burleson returned the second half kickoff 91 yards for a touchdown. Seattle coasted the rest of the way. 33-6 Seahawks.

Minnesota Vikings @ Dallas Cowboys–Tony Romo threw a touchdown pass to Terrell Owens, and Adrian Peterson ran for a touchdown in the first half. A fumble was returned by Cedric Williams 60 yards for a touchdown and a 14-7 Vikings lead. After Marion Barber ran it in to tie the game, the key play occurred later on. Minnesota had the go ahead field goal attempt, which was blocked and returned 68 yards for a touchdown by Patrick Watson. A shellshocked Minnesota team fumbled on their next drive, leading to a Cowboys field goal and a 10 point game. Tarvaris Jackson finished 5 for 17 for 59 yards. 24-14 Cowboys

Kansas City Chiefs @ Oakland Raiders–For further coverage of the game of the day, go to www.justblogbaby.com. The most impressive Raider appeared in a commercial before the game. He had a guitar and sang, “Go to Free Credit dot com…I should have seen this coming at me, like an atom bomb.”

I remarked before the game that this was a winnable home game, and would make a difference in whether the Raiders went 6-10, or even 8-8, as opposed to 3-13. The first half was as ugly as expected. No, it was uglier. KC had a pair of field goals, but in the second quarter Culpepper led a sustained drive. On 4th and 1 from the KC 17, the Raiders ran off tackle instead of straight up the middle. Of course, the play got blown up in the backfield. The Raiders had as many first downs in the first half as punts, with four of each.

Raider punter Shane Lechler may or may not be Jewish, but he was the victim of a suicide bombing in the 3rd quarter. Not since Tony Siragusa belly flopped on Rich Gannon have the Raiders been victimized with such a bad hit and a non-call.

This game was so riveting that when I asked my friend, who was comfortable on my couch, his thoughts, he replied, “Do I have to have any thoughts?”

In the 3rd quarter, this hideous game got even more hideous when Larry Johnson broke off a 54 yard run. It set up a field goal attempt which may have iced the game, even though it was only the 3rd quarter. The kick was wide left. On the next play, Culpepper threw a 60 yard bomb to Jerry Porter. On the next play, Culpepper threw a 20 yard touchdown pass to Ronald Curry, who redeemed himself for an earlier dropped pass that could have been a touchdown. After 42 minutes of misery, in 2 plays the Raiders had taken a 7-6 lead.

Determined not to expand the lead, on the next series Raiders center Jeremy Newberry fumbled the ball against his own behind. Yes, you read that right. Culpepper was in the shotgun, and Newberry thought he was under center. I never want to know how this happens. Luckily, Culpepper recovered the ball. Unfortunately, Warren Sapp just missed a sack on Damon Huard, who then threw a 58 yard bomb to the Raiders 16 yard line. However, KC burned 2 timeouts on this drive. Larry Johnson plunged over from, a yard out, and the Raiders burned a timeout on the 2 point conversion attempt. It failed, and KC retained a 5 point lead with 11:30 left.

With 6 minutes left and the Raiders on the move, KC called their final timeout. Seabass kicked a field goal, and with 2 minutes left, the Raiders got the ball back, drove to midfield, and denied Sebastian Janikowski a winning field goal attempt when Culpepper threw an interception in the waning seconds. Only Marcus Allen could have loved this game. 12-10 Chiefs

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Denver Broncos was the Sunday night game. Pittsburgh jumped to a 7-0 lead, but by halftime Denver led 21-7. Pittsburgh trailed 28-14 in the 4th quarter, but rallied to tie the game at 28 apiece with 72 seconds to go. However, the last play of the game was a 49 yard field goal attempt by Jason Elam. As expected, he drilled it perfectly, and Denver won. Roethlisberger had 4 touchdown passes, and Cutler had 3. Both quarterbacks had 2 interceptions. 31-28 Broncos

Indianapolis Colts @ Jacksonville Jaguars was the Monday night game. This was the game that would tell if the Colts are too finesse to handle the physical Jaguars defense. The Colts are fine. This was the game that would tell if the Jags, a good team, are ready to be a great team. They are not. Also, for all the justified praise of Peyton Manning, Joseph Addai, Marvin Harrison, and company, this was the game that reminded everybody that the key to whether or not the Colts repeat as champions is defensive standout Bob Sanders. He was flying around the field all game, and the Indy defense shut down the Jags 17-0 at halftime. The only bright spot for Jacksonville was a 65 yard kickoff return in the second half that set up a touchdown to cut the score to 17-7.

Again, for all the talk of the Colts offense, Tony Dungy is a defensive guy at heart. A safety put the Colts up 19-7, and their defense harassed Jacksonville the rest of the game. The Colts offense has been great for years, but getting Bob Sanders back from injury last year keyed their defense, and that is why they are the defending champions. 29-7 Colts

eric

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 21st, 2007 at 4:21 pm and is filed under SPORTS. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.