On this Father’s Day, it would be nice if my father could be healthy. Between being a Holocaust survivor and having a pair of open heart surgeries in addition to eye problems, he has not caught many breaks.
He and I are very different people with very different interests. He still remembers reading to me as a kid, and is amazed at how fast time flies.
On this day I am thinking of two songs. Neither of them are happy songs, but they are heartfelt. The first one was a song he sang to me when I was a kid. It was done by Jim Croce and redone by Ugly Kid Joe. It is entitled “Cats in the Cradle.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=un2EfjEJAOA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B32yjbCSVpU
The second song is by Mike and the Mechanics, entitled “The Living Years.” It is a very poignant song that is a good blueprint for fathers and sons everywhere.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGDA0Hecw1k
Here is “Cats in the Cradle.”
“My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin’ ‘fore I knew it, and as he grew
He’d say ‘I’m gonna be like you dad
You know I’m gonna be like you’
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home dad?
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then son
You know we’ll have a good time then
My son turned ten just the other day
He said, ‘Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let’s play
Can you teach me to throw’, I said ‘Not today
I got a lot to do’, he said, ‘That’s ok’
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, ‘I’m gonna be like him, yeah
You know I’m gonna be like him’
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home son?
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then son
You know we’ll have a good time then
Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
‘Son, I’m proud of you, can you sit for a while?’
He shook his head and said with a smile
‘What I’d really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?’
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home son?
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then son
You know we’ll have a good time then
I’ve long since retired, my son’s moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, ‘I’d like to see you if you don’t mind’
He said, ‘I’d love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job’s a hassle and kids have the flu
But it’s sure nice talking to you, Dad
It’s been sure nice talking to you’
And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He’d grown up just like me
My boy was just like me
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home son?
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then son
You know we’ll have a good time then”
On more than one occasion I thought I would not have a father. As awful as his health is, he is alive. I now have a job with frequent travel, so I book as many gigs as possible in South Florida so I can visit my parents. It is too late when we are gone to wish we had visited more often.
We are all busy. We have to make the time.
As for the song “The Living Years,” it is one of the most heartfelt songs ever written.
“Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door
I know that I’m a prisoner
To all my Father held so dear
I know that I’m a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years
Crumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thoughts
Stilted conversations
I’m afraid that’s all we’ve got
You say you just don’t see it
He says it’s perfect sense
You just can’t get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talkin’ in defense
Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It’s too late when we die
To admit we don’t see eye to eye
So we open up a quarrel
Between the present and the past
We only sacrifice the future
It’s the bitterness that lasts
So Don’t yield to the fortunes
You sometimes see as fate
It may have a new perspective
On a different date
And if you don’t give up, and don’t give in
You may just be O.K.
Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It’s too late when we die
To admit we don’t see eye to eye
I wasn’t there that morning
When my Father passed away
I didn’t get to tell him
All the things I had to say
I think I caught his spirit
Later that same year
I’m sure I heard his echo
In my baby’s new born tears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years
Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It’s too late when we die
To admit we don’t see eye to eye
Say it loud, say it clear
Say it loud
Don’t give up
Don’t give in
And don’t know what you can do next”
I really hope that I bring a son into the world while my dad is alive. After all he has been through, I know he badly wants a grandson. However, part of growing up is a man living his own life on his own terms. If it happens, great. If not, it was not meant to be.
My father and I remain very different people. Yet at least we said we needed to say in the living years.
Dad, I hope this Father’s Day brings you good health. More than anything, you want, need, and deserve that.
I love you dad. Happy…and Healthy…Father’s Day.
eric
Eric, My favorite rendition of Cat’s Cradle was done by Harry Chapin, and whenever I heard it, I would think of a few of my friends whose Dads were busy working. I was blessed that Dad was a Den father for Cub Scouts, coached some of my baseball teams, came to almost all my sporting events whether they were in Vegas, Detroit, or DC, and was just “there” for me – for anything. One day late inlife he told me that that song hurt him because it reminded him of not spending enough time with me. I was flabberghasted that he would think that and told him so. I think all fathers, me included, always feel there’s always something more we can do. And, although I wasn’t blessed with a son, I cherish my two daughters, grand daughter, and yes, Grandson! Good luck with having a baby quickly…what does the Miami Shark say about that one??
‘So I’m sitting here at 11:00 am Pacific time eating Reeses Whoppers, candied Li Hing Mui Ginger ,froot loops with Ensure instead of milk as my son presented me with a fathers day card containing a patch of poorley matched hair for my forehead.
Actually, it looks like something I saw on a red head 40 years ago when bikini waxing wasnt so popular.
Bless your dad Eric, pat him on the shoulder for me.
Happy father’s day eric’s dad and Eagle and Mick.
eric, I hope you become a father soon. It is a special priviledge.
Toma
Thanks Toma.
Got kids ?
You do the same as well bro