Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

244 fun reasons to love America

Saturday, July 4th, 2020

244 fun reasons to love America

1980 Olympic Gold Medal Hockey Team

1980s hard rock hair metal

2 Live Crew’s Banned in the USA

7-Eleven Big Gulps and Slurpees

ACDC’s You shook me, Thunderstruck, Moneytalks

Adam Sandler

Aerosmith

Airheads band The Lone Rangers

Al D’Amato’s singing

Alf

America the Beautiful sung by Ray Charles

American soldiers and veterans

Animaniacs

Anthony Clark

Bad Touch’s Discovery Channel

Batman: The Dark Knight

BB King and Lucille

Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia

Biff Henderson

Bill Cosby, Himself video

Bill Murray’s Quick Change

Bill of Rights

Bill the Cat

Billiards

Blue Collar Comedy Tour

Blue Bloods

_____________

Bluegrass Junction

Bounce houses

Bouncing 25 cent rubber balls

Boxing promoter Don King

Brooklyn

Bubblebaths for two

Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck

Burgertime

Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise movies

Caddyshack

Capitalism

Capture the flag

Cards Against Humanity

Chabad Houses

Charitable people

Cheerleaders

Cheers’s Sam Mayday Malone and Norm Peterson

Cherry Lime Rickeys

Chocolate covered cherries

Chris Berman

Chris Gardner’s The Pursuit of Happyness

Chris Noth’s Mike Logan

Chris Tucker singing Barry White

Coca-Cola

Coed touch football

Colorwar

Commando and pantsless Wednesdays (until HR intervened)

Conan O’Brien’s In the Year 2000

Corn Fritters

Cosmic Bowling

County Fairs

Dale Intimidator Earnhardt’s 1998 Daytona 500

Dana Carvey

Dann Florek’s Captain Donald Cragen

David Letterman’s Top Ten Lists

Dennis Farina

Desperate Housewives

Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo

Die Hard

DirecTV NFL Package

Dog-riding monkey

Donald Trump–from the Apprentice to the White House to Twitter

Doritos

Dr. Brown’s Black Cherry Soda

Dr. Charles Krauthammer

Duck Dynasty

Ebay

Edible underthings

Entrepreneurship

ESPN

Eye of the tiger

Fireworks

Flavored massage oil

Founding Fathers

Fox News

Fraggle Rock

Freedom, liberty, right of dissent

Gaga (dodgeball using closed fist and cherry ball)

Game nights

Garlic knots

Gatorade dumping on coaches

George W. Bush picks up bullhorn

Glow sticks as fake cigars

Golden Corral

GPS trackers

Greg the Bunny


Greg Gutfeld

Hamburgers

Happy face emoticons

Harmonicas

Hawaii

Henny Youngman

Hot Chocolate’s You sexy thing (I believe in miracles)

Hot scantily clad women

Howard Stern

I once finger-(blanked) a hermit crab (whoever said that)

In n Out Burger

Independence Day BBQs

Instant messaging

Internet dating

Iphones

Italian ices

J. Geils Band’s Centerfold

Jack Nicholson’s Colonel Nathan R. Jessup

Jacuzzi romps

Jell-O

Jell-O wrestling

Jerry Orbach’s Lenny Briscoe

Jerry Reed’s Eastbound and Down

Jim Carrey’s Ace Ventura, Pet Detective

John Cougar Mellencamp’s Pink Houses and Hurts so good

John Facenda’s The Autumn Wind

John McEnroe’s tennis tantrums

Judaism celebrated in peace

Justice Scalia’s scathing dissents

Karl Rove’s whiteboard

Kazoos

KFC Popcorn Chicken

Kickball

Kim Kardashian’s bare bottom

King of the Hill

Kool-Aid

Kosher imitation bacon and crab

Krispy Kreme Donut Hamburgers

Laff-Olympics

Larry Hagman’s J.R. Ewing on Dallas

Las Vegas

Lee Greenwood’s God bless the USA and Bandit Express

Lilo and Stitch — Ohana means family––––––––––––––

Louie Armstrong’s It’s a Wonderful World—————————————-

Louisiana Cajun Cooking (Especially with Justin Wilson)

Lucky Charms

Madden Football

Magnum, P.I.

Mardi Gras, New Orleans

Mark Levin’s rants

Married with Children’s Al Bundy

Marvin Gaye’s Sexual Healing and Let’s get it on

Mascots

McDonalds

Meat and potatoes

Michael J. Fox’s Alex P. Keaton on Family Ties

Mills Lane yelling Let’s get it on

Miniature golf

Monopoly

Morris Day and the Time’s Jerk Out

Mountain Dew Code Red

MTV’s Celebrity Deathmatch

Murder, She Wrote

Nathan’s Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest

National Federation of Republican Women

National Football League

Neocons

New Years Eve noisemakers

New York Post front and back page

New York Stock Exchange opening and closing bells

NFL Films

NFL Network

Oakland Raiders

Old School with Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn

Overtime playoff hockey

Pajama parties

Peaceful transition of political power

Phil Hartman

Pizza

Political Conventions

Pool volleyball

Pringles

Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio

Q-Bert

Queen’s I want it all

Raider Nation

Rainbow Sherbert

Redeye with Greg Gutfeld

Republican Jewish Brunettes

Republican Party Animals

Riptide

Robin Williams

Ronald Reagan’s self-deprecating jokes 

Rudy Giuliani’s New York toughness

Run DMC

Rush Limbaugh

San Diego Wild Animal Park

Satellite TV

Save a horse, ride a cowboy

Scrabble

Sean Hannity’s Freedom Concerts

Seinfeld

Sexting

Sherman Hemsley’s George Jefferson

Sizzler

Sky high skyscrapers

Skype

Slim Jims

Snoopy’s Joe Cool

Snow football

Social networks for building businesses

South Beach, Miami Spring Break

South Park

Spiderman

Sportsbars

Stock trading

Stratego

Strip chess

Stuart Scott

Sudoku

Summer camp

Super Soakers

Supply-side tax cuts

T-shirt originals

Taco Bell

Talk radio

Thanksgiving with John Madden

The Color of Money

The Counter Build Your Own Burger

The Expendables

The Frat Pack

The Honeymooners

The Muppets

The Onion

Tim McGraw’s Indian Outlaw ——————————————————

Tivo

Toby Keith’s Courtesy of the Red White and Blue

Train rides

Trampoline Dodgeball

Tygrrrr Express

USA Cartoon Express

Video Arcade Games

We’re not France

Weekend at Bernie’s

Western medicine

Whitesnake’s Here I go again video

Wifi on planes

XM Sirius Satellite Radio

Yoo-Hoo

Young Jewish Conservatives

Yummy bouncies and badonkadonks

ZZ Top’s Sleeping Bag and Sharp Dressed Man

Tygrrrr Express January 2020 Hawaii Speaking Schedule

Monday, January 20th, 2020

Monday, January 20 — Flying from Los Angeles to Hawaii.

Tuesday, January 21 — Kauai GOP at 6pm.

Wednesday, January 22 — Kailua-Kona Kiwanis Club on the Big Island at 5:30pm. 

Thursday, January 23 — Kona Rotary Club on the Big Island at Noon.

Saturday, January 25 — East Hawaii GOP on the Big Island in Hilo. 5pm.

Tuesday, January 28 — Lahaina Sunrise Rotary Club in Maui. 7am.

Thursday, January 30 — Lahaina Rotary Club in Maui. Lunch.

Saturday, February 1 — Maui GOP. Morning.

Sunday, February 2 — Conservative Super Bowl Party in Honolulu, Oahu at 11:30am.

Sunday, February 2 — Redeye flight back to Los Angeles. .

My birthday: 48 Happy Memories upon turning 48

Thursday, January 9th, 2020

My birthday: 48 Happy Memories upon turning 48

I entered this world 48 years ago today on January 9, 1972. On my 48th birthday, here are 48 happy memories.

1.) Every moment I ever spent with my grandparents. They are gone now, but I had all four of them when I graduated college and three of them when I turned 30. I am blessed.

2.) January 9, 1977 — The Oakland Raiders won the Super Bowl on my fifth birthday. I saw the logo and became a Raider for life.

3.) August 15, 1980 — Smokey and the Bandit II came out. I saw the original and the sequel and became a lifelong fan of the Bandit and the Snowman.

4.) January 22, 1984 — The Raiders won their third Super Bowl. I still remember telling the kids at school the next day one simple message. “Just win baby!”

5.) January 21, 1985 — I had my Bar Mitzvah, the Jewish passage into manhood. My Orthodox Rabbi grandfather led the ceremony.

6.) July 13, 1990 — I watched Bill Murray in “Quick Change” for the first of over 100 times. This movie is true New York, and Murray remains a national hero.

7.) August 26, 1990 — I flew from New York to Los Angeles for college. I immediately fell in love with this city and never left.

8.) September 26, 1990 — I joined the campus radio station and developed my lifelong love of radio.

9.) May 10, 1992 — I wrote my first song. 70 more would follow.

10.) January 9, 1994 — The Raiders won a playoff game over arch rival Denver on my 22nd birthday. We all had a big party to celebrate afterward at 1950s Cafe Ed Debevic’s.

11.) June 14, 1994 — The New York Rangers won the NHL Stanley Cup and ended the 54 year curse.

12.) September 13, 1994 — I passed the Series 7 stockbroker’s exam. At that moment I was now a professional.

13.) June 1, 1997 — I saw my friend doing something on a computer that seemed different. He was in a chat room. It was my first time using the Internet.

14.) July 4, 1999 — My friends and I crashed an Independence Day party on the beach and escaped moments before police busted up the party.

15.) September 23, 1999 — I finally got my driver’s license. I never needed one before.

16.) December 31, 1999 — Ringing in the Millennium in Las Vegas.

17.) March 1, 2000 — I flew from Los Angeles to New Orleans for Mardi Gras 2000. I still have my Calvin and Hobbes t-shirt, “Life is short. Party naked. Mardi Gras 2000.”

18.) February 13, 2003 — I watched the movie “Old School.” I will forever thank Vince Vaughn, Will Ferrell and “The Godfather” Luke Wilson for inspiring me at age 31 to finally start going to Florida for Spring Break. Years of South Beach, Miami revelry ensued at the Clevelander and Ocean’s 10. 

19.) March 14, 2003 — I flew to Singapore and Thailand and got to experience five days of beauty in each country. I met the Jewish communities of both nations.

20.) November 4, 2003 — NFL Network was born. Finally, a television channel worth watching existed. 

21.) November 2, 2004 — Enjoying the 2004 election with my closest friends.

22.) February 12, 2006 — I flew from Los Angeles to Hawaii. I met the Jewish community of Honolulu and attended my first NFL Pro Bowl. I met ESPN’s Chris Berman.

23.) April 28, 2006 — I flew from Los Angeles to New York and went to Radio City Music Hall. For the first time, I got to attend the NFL Draft and meet a bunch of great football heroes. 

24.) August 4, 2006 — I flew from Los Angeles to Ohio and drove to Canton. I visited the Pro Football Hall of Fame, saw the induction ceremony featuring John Madden, and attended the Pro Football Hall of Fame Game.

25.) March 11, 2007 — I Started a blog called the Tygrrrr Express. That column somehow turned into five books and a national speaking career.

26.) September 11, 2007 — On the sixth anniversary of the attacks, I flew from Los Angeles to New York and then drove to Great Adventure in New Jersey. I attended Sean Hannity’s Feedom Concert and saw New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani light up the crowd.

27.) October 17, 2007 — I joined Facebook. Between that and Twitter, I have met many good people, increased book sales, and built my business.

28.) February 2, 2008 — I flew from Los Angeles to Phoenix and attended my first Super Bowl. The New York Giants shocked the previously unbeaten New England Patriots.

29.) March 30, 2008 — My friend adopted a child from Guatemala. On this day “the boy” turned one. Being “Unca Eric” is the best job in the world.

30.) May 13, 2008 — I flew from Los Angeles to Washington, DC. I attended the Republican Jewish Coalition Leadership Conference and met Dr. Charles Krauthammer.

31.) August 6, 2008 — I flew from Los Angeles to Israel and spent a week in the Holy Land.

32.) August 30, 2008 — I flew from Los Angeles to Minneapolis for my first Republican Convention. For a week, friends and I slept in a sports bar. It was like being Norm Peterson from “Cheers.”

33.) April 5, 2009 — My first book “Ideological Bigotry” was published.

34.) September 1, 2009 — I left Wall Street after 15 years and began my career as a full-time professional speaker.

35.) November 11, 2009 — I flew from Los Angeles to Galveston and spoke at the Texas Federation of Republican Women Convention. I made TFRW and other lifelong friends in the Lone Star State.

36.) March 11, 2010 — I flew from Los Angeles to Oklahoma City to speak at the National Federation of Republican Women Spring Conference. That launched me nationally since the NFRW run the world.

37.) May 1, 2011 — In Aiken, South Carolina, I saw the news that Osama bin Laden was killed. That night I told my very best political joke. “Osama bin Laden is now burning underground with 72 Helen Thomases.” It was the bookend to my very first political joke. “Never rely on a Palestinian GPS tracker. I took one wrong turn, ended up at a cemetery, and a sinister voice said, ‘You have reached your final destination!’ I got so angry I threw the thing out the window, which was good because 5 seconds later it exploded.”

38.) February 9, 2013 — I met Vice President Dick Cheney and spoke in front of him at a dinner.

39.) September 25, 2013 — I spoke to a Tea Party group in Hays, Kansas. At that moment, I had officially spoken in all 50 states.

40.) November 4, 2014 — I spoke at an election night party in New Jersey.

41.) March 20, 2015 — After writing four political comedy books, I finished my first religious comedy book “Jewish Lunacy.” This allowed me to move beyond political speaking into religious speaking.

42.) May 12, 2015 — I met President George W. Bush and shook his hand.

43.) November 8, 2016 — Enjoyed a raucous election night party in Raleigh, North Carolina.

44.) December 31, 2016 — New Year’s Eve with the friends who matter most to me.

45.) Any woman whoever let me play with her yummy bouncies or at least was nice enough to send me pictures of them.

46.) January 9, 2018 — On my 46th birthday, the return of Chucky as Jon Gruden returns to the Black Hole to rejoin the Raiders. Like me, Gruden has unfinished business.

47.) November 9, 2018 — I met Angela Lansbury in Beverly Hills and got my picture taken with her. She remains one of the most talented people in the history of entertainment. 

48.) 2019 was the year I branch out beyond books and into t-shirts. I started with 2 or 3 designs in 2017 and 2018. By the end of 2019 I had 49 mostly original t-shirt designs. My best seller remains “Stop judging women by their tops. #BackSidesMatter!”

I would like to thank my parents for raising me right and Angela Lansbury’s JB Fletcher of “Murder, She Wrote” for catching murderers and making the world safer.

Anything I could possibly wish for has already been granted.

eric @ Tygrrrr Express

2020: We…can…do…this

Wednesday, January 1st, 2020

2020: We…can…do…this

What the heck is that beeping sound?

(Knocks the phone off the hook, keeps banging the snooze alarm)

A voice tells me it’s my pager. My pager is black, so finding it in the dark is the needle in the haystack equivalent. A lucky smack knocks it against the wall, where it may or may not have shattered. The beeping continues. Why does anyone need a pager anymore anyway?

Who the heck is texting me at this ungodly hour of…(either 7 a.m., 1 p.m., or 1 a.m. …it looks blurry)?

Oh, no. It is 5 a.m., and my first radio interview of the New Year is with the morning man of an East Coast station. Time to pretend to sound coherent and go back to sleep. Oh no, wait, that radio interview was several years ago.

Great, happy wishes for the new year and the new decade. Thanks. Whoever you are, it is too early to talk to you.

One year the person on the telephone insisted it was 1 p.m. After explaining to them that they were on the East Coast, and that 1 p.m. EST is 10 a.m. in Los Angeles, they grew impatient. They knew how to tell time, and that it was 4 p.m. EST, hence 1 p.m. my time.

Sure, getting up and writing my column is an option. It’s a new year, and starting the year off with a flurry of brilliance might be helpful. Forget it. This column is recycled from years ago. It’s also hours late. That is what happens when people get no sleep because of stressful December 30 football games followed by New Year’s Eve revelry.

Election 2020? The first person to talk politics gets blistered in my column … tomorrow.

Bowl games? There is DVR. Besides, does anybody care who wins the Poulan Weed Eater Bowl, the Lack of Insight.com Bowl, the Fishbowl, the RU486 Morning After Bowl, The California Metrosexual Pride Bowl, or any other game that may or may not be made up?

Speaking of the morning after, does anybody remember the David Byrne Talking Heads song from the movie “Less than Zero? (which the temperature feels like right now in some parts of the country. No wonder I live in this insane city of LA)” The song is called “Once In A Lifetime.”

“This is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife. What have I done? How did I get here?”

It then occurs to me that the beeping sounds are the voices in my head telling me I am too old, even at 47, to stay out this late. Even without alcohol, exhaustion has set in. 

Get out of bed? Work calls in (whenever) hours. Better rest up before my tyrant of a boss complains. Such is the life of the self-employed.

Get up now? Somehow stagger to the shower, get dressed, make it out of my condo to go … where?

The stores are closed. Maybe they are open. Too tired to find out.

My birthday is in just over a week. Time to pace myself.

Work on my website? All that takes is staggering to my couch. Oh, no. My IT guy has not finished it yet. Oh, wait, he did years ago. I clicked on the wrong site.

Go on Jdate and search for women? Not a bad idea, except it is too tiring to check their Adams Apples. This is not the year for a boyfriend, and am not sure that my eyes can tell the difference right now. Besides, Jdate is so 2014. Now it is Tinder, JSwipe and JCrush. No, wait. Those are so 2019.

Shop on Ebay? No. bad idea. Buying stuff when not at full capacity is problematic. Who needs another mountain goat? Dang creature gets his horns in my hide. Not a comfy way to wake up. Calm down boy, you’ll get some straw to graze on upon my waking up.

Work on my record album? Although again, world, just because my hair is long, that does not mean my band exists. The best instrument is the triangle, because that tells me lunch is ready. Oh wait, my hair is not even that long anymore. I could work on that, although I didn’t do much. I sat. It grew.

Ahh, yes, lunch. Get up and eat something. My microwave is slow, and a five minute microwave dinner takes almost 15 minutes. Read the paper? It is cold outside my building where the stand is, and it only takes coins. Reading the paper online is tiring, and my printer is not working. At least the lifestyle section makes a great placemat for eating. Oh, wait. That stand does not exist anymore. Reading the paper online it is. 

Staying in bed for only a couple more hours until (whatever the big and little hands say) would allow me to stay up all night and be totally exhausted for work tomorrow. Again, my boss is a tyrant.

Running errands … not gonna happen.

Every morning, a four word prayer starts my day. My elbows are used to try and leverage them against my bed to prop me up. Placing my alarm clock on the other side of the room failed, since ripping the cord out of the wall solved that problem.

As for the Jewish brunette who stole the covers, her voice was not a problem last night, although if she opens her trap today she will receive a more caustic reception than usual.

Oh wait, she already left. Here is a note. “Tried to wake you, but that was a losing battle. By the way, you have nothing but soda in your fridge. Talk to you soon.” oh, wait, I think that happened over a decade ago. This is 2020, not 2005.

She is a liar. There are potato chips in my fridge as well. Why they are there remains a mystery, but it saves having to remember which cabinet they are in. One-stop shopping  is the way to go.

Besides, combing my hair for her was enough. Not doing it this morning, proud “retrosexual” that is me.

At least having the decency to say some morning prayers would be appropriate.

“Hey God…those people I pray for every night…yeah those people, the same ones…look after them again.”

Back to sleep, despite every attempt to wake up. The home phone is turned off, the cell is off as well, and the pager is still shattered, in addition to being disconnected years ago.

There may have been a car crash outside my building followed by 911 calls and sirens, but telling everybody to “keep it down,” solved that problem. A brief nightmare of me being late for work was averted when I realized my location to me was known if necessary.

Four televisions in the living room, and none in the bedroom. Who thought that up? Oh yeah, a television in the bedroom would promote laziness. Besides, trying to figure out which remote to use would cause me to break them all as if they were my pager.

Ok, here it is. Come on, elbows, do your stuff. Rise, young lad, rise! Awaken thy exhausted tired eyes!

Why is God shouting? Oh wait, that is my over-dramatization of God.

Time to set the alarm now to avoid missing work tomorrow. Where was it thrown? Threw it? Oh, screw it.

Ok, time for my four word prayer. It has gotten me this incredibly terribly far. Time to contemplate getting out of bed.

“We…can…do…this.”

Happy 2020 all. Except for the person who woke me up earlier. Whoever you are, I still can’t stand you, even though you are doing me a favor.

Ten hours and 16 bowl games later, there is only one thing left to do.

Time for a nap. Happy 2020. Happy new decade.

Zzzzz.

eric

September 2019 TYGRRRR EXPRESS Oregon/Washington Speaking Schedule

Tuesday, August 27th, 2019

September 2019 TYGRRRR EXPRESS Oregon/Washington Speaking Schedule

While I have spoken in all 50 states, the Pacific Northwest is a part of the country I have spent the least amount of time in. For the first time in 7 or 8 years, I return. I will be in Oregon & Washington for almost all of September. My speaking schedule is below.

Wednesday-Monday, August 28-September 2, 2019 — Packwood Flea Market South of Seattle, Washington. 

Tuesday, September 3 — Emerald  City Rotary Club in Seattle, Washington at 7:15am. 

Tuesday, September 3 — Skagit County Republican Women North of Seattle, Washington at 10am. 

Wednesday, September 4 — Vancouver Rotary Club in Washington near Portland, Oregon at lunch. 

Wednesday, September 4 — Fremont Fun Rotary Club in Seattle, Washington at 5:30pm. 

Thursday, September 5 — Greater Kingston Kiwanis Club North of Seattle at 7am. 

Thursday, September 5 — Redmond Rotary Club near Seattle, Washington at lunch. 

Friday, September 6 — Bellevue Breakfast Rotary Club near Seattle, Washington. 

Friday, September 6 — Oak Harbor Rotary Club North of Seattle, Washington  at 11:30am. 

Saturday-Sunday, September 7-8 — Portland Gun Show in Oregon. 

Monday, September 9 — Rotary Club of Portland New Generations in Oregon at 5:30pm. 

Tuesday, September 10 — Portland Pearl Rotary Club in Oregon at 7:15am.   CANCELED

Tuesday, September 10 — Milwaukie Rotary Club in Portland, Oregon at lunch. 

Tuesday, September 10 — Corvallis After 5 Rotary Club South of Portland, Oregon at 5:15pm. 

Wednesday, September 11 — Gresham Rotary Club near Portland, Oregon at lunch. 

Thursday, September 12 — Snohomish County Republican Women near Seattle, Washington at 10:45am. 

Friday, September 13 — Central Oregon Republican Women in Bend. Evening. 

Monday, September 16 — La Conner Rotary Club in Mount Vernon North of Seattle, Washington near Vancouver, Canada. 5:45pm. 

Wednesday, September 18 — La Conner Kiwanis Club in Mount Vernon North of Seattle, Washington near Vancouver, Canada. Breakfast. 

Wednesday, September 18 — Chehalis Rotary Club South of Seattle, Washington. Noon. 

Thursday, September 19 — Magnolia Rotary Club in Seattle, Washington at lunch. 

Friday, September 20 — Maple Valley Rotary Club in Seattle, Washington at 7:15am. 

Friday, September 20 — Redmond Toastmasters near Seattle, Washington at Noon. 

Saturday, September 21 — Emerald Heights Toastmasters & Kiwanis near Seattle, Washington at 7:30am. 

Wednesday, September 25 — Stayton Area Rotary Club near Salem, Oregon at lunch. 

Thursday, September 26 — Cedar Hills Kiwanis Club near Portland, Oregon at lunch. 

Friday, September 27, 2019 — Sequim Sunrise Rotary Club North of Seattle, Washington at 7am. 

eric @ Tygrrrr Express

God done shed his grace on thee

Thursday, July 4th, 2019

Nothing says America like Ray Charles.

“God done shed his grace on thee.”

God bless you all and God bless America.

eric

The Top 120 Political Yummy Bouncies of 2019

Saturday, June 22nd, 2019
Teens

Ilhan Omar’s Shariacrat Party

Monday, April 29th, 2019

January 2019 Tygrrrr Express Hawaii speaking schedule

Monday, January 14th, 2019

Monday January 14 — Flight from Los Angeles to Honolulu to Maui.

MAUI

Monday January 14 — Charleys Restaurant/Saloon Open Mic Night 6pm

Tuesday, January 15 — Rotary Club of Lahaina Sunset. 5:30pm.

KAUI

Wednesday, January 16 — Rotary Club of Kapaa at lunch.

OAHU

Wednesday, January 16 — Anna O’Brien’s Comedy U Open Mic Night in Honolulu, Hawaii at 8pm.  

Thursday, January 17 — Rotary Club of Metro Honolulu at 7am.

Thursday, January 17 — Rotary Club of Windward Oahu at lunch.

Thursday, January 17 — Rotary Club of Honolulu Sunset at 5:30pm.

Friday, January 18 — Rotary Club of Downtown Honolulu at 7:15am.

BIG ISLAND

Friday, January 18 — Chabad of Kona. Evening.

Saturday January 19 — Chabad of Kona. Lunch. 

Sunday January 20 — AFC & NFC Title Games. A sportsbar somewhere.

Monday January 21 — Hilo Town Tavern Open Mic Night. 7pm.

Tuesday January 22 — Rotary Club of South Hilo at 11:30am.

Wednesday January 23 — Hilo Bay Rotary Club at 6:45am.

Wednesday January 23 — North Hawaii Rotary Club at Noon.

Wednesday January 23 — Hale Hookah Open Mic Night at 8pm.

Thursday January 24 — Rotary Club of Volcano at 7:30am.

Thursday January 24 — Big Island Brewhaus Open Mic Night. 6pm.

Friday January 25 — Something Jewish on the Big Island or Kauai.

KAUAI

Saturday January 26 — Kauai GOP. Evening.

Sunday January 27 — AFC-NFC Pro Bowl. A sportsbar somewhere.

Monday January 28 — Final sightseeing on Kauai and the Big Island. 

Monday January 28 — Redeye Flight from Kona back to Los Angeles. 

Tuesday January 29 — Arriving back in Los Angeles in the morning. 

eric

My birthday: 47 happy memories upon turning 47

Wednesday, January 9th, 2019

My birthday: 47 Happy Memories upon turning 47

I entered this world 47 years ago today on January 9, 1972. On my 47th birthday, here are 47 happy memories.

1.) Every moment I ever spent with my grandparents. They are gone now, but I had all four of them when I graduated college and three of them when I turned 30. I am blessed.

2.) January 9, 1977 — The Oakland Raiders won the Super Bowl on my fifth birthday. I saw the logo and became a Raider for life.

3.) August 15, 1980 — Smokey and the Bandit II came out. I saw the original and the sequel and became a lifelong fan of the Bandit and the Snowman.

4.) January 22, 1984 — The Raiders won their third Super Bowl. I still remember telling the kids at school the next day one simple message. “Just win baby!”

5.) January 21, 1985 — I had my Bar Mitzvah, the Jewish passage into manhood. My Orthodox Rabbi grandfather led the ceremony.

6.) July 13, 1990 — I watched Bill Murray in “Quick Change” for the first of over 100 times. This movie is true New York, and Murray remains a national hero.

7.) August 26, 1990 — I flew from New York to Los Angeles for college. I immediately fell in love with this city and never left.

8.) September 26, 1990 — I joined the campus radio station and developed my lifelong love of radio.

9.) May 10, 1992 — I wrote my first song. 70 more would follow.

10.) January 9, 1994 — The Raiders won a playoff game over arch rival Denver on my 22nd birthday. We all had a big party to celebrate afterward at 1950s Cafe Ed Debevic’s.

11.) June 14, 1994 — The New York Rangers won the NHL Stanley Cup and ended the 54 year curse.

12.) September 13, 1994 — I passed the Series 7 stockbroker’s exam. At that moment I was now a professional.

13.) June 1, 1997 — I saw my friend doing something on a computer that seemed different. He was in a chat room. It was my first time using the Internet.

14.) July 4, 1999 — My friends and I crashed an Independence Day party on the beach and escaped moments before police busted up the party.

15.) September 23, 1999 — I finally got my driver’s license. I never needed one before.

16.) December 31, 1999 — Ringing in the Millennium in Las Vegas.

17.) March 1, 2000 — I flew from Los Angeles to New Orleans for Mardi Gras 2000. I still have my Calvin and Hobbes t-shirt, “Life is short. Party naked. Mardi Gras 2000.”

18.) February 13, 2003 — I watched the movie “Old School.” I will forever thank Vince Vaughn, Will Ferrell and “The Godfather” Luke Wilson for inspiring me at age 31 to finally start going to Florida for Spring Break. Years of South Beach, Miami revelry ensued at the Clevelander and Ocean’s 10. 

19.) March 14, 2003 — I flew to Singapore and Thailand and got to experience five days of beauty in each country. I met the Jewish communities of both nations.

20.) November 4, 2003 — NFL Network was born. Finally, a television channel worth watching existed. 

21.) November 2, 2004 — Enjoying the 2004 election with my closest friends.

22.) February 12, 2006 — I flew from Los Angeles to Hawaii. I met the Jewish community of Honolulu and attended my first NFL Pro Bowl. I met ESPN’s Chris Berman.

23.) April 28, 2006 — I flew from Los Angeles to New York and went to Radio City Music Hall. For the first time, I got to attend the NFL Draft and meet a bunch of great football heroes. 

24.) August 4, 2006 — I flew from Los Angeles to Ohio and drove to Canton. I visited the Pro Football Hall of Fame, saw the induction ceremony featuring John Madden, and attended the Pro Football Hall of Fame Game.

25.) March 11, 2007 — I Started a blog called the Tygrrrr Express. That column somehow turned into five books and a national speaking career.

26.) September 11, 2007 — On the sixth anniversary of the attacks, I flew from Los Angeles to New York and then drove to Great Adventure in New Jersey. I attended Sean Hannity’s Feedom Concert and saw New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani light up the crowd.

27.) October 17, 2007 — I joined Facebook. Between that and Twitter, I have met many good people, increased book sales, and built my business.

28.) February 2, 2008 — I flew from Los Angeles to Phoenix and attended my first Super Bowl. The New York Giants shocked the previously unbeaten New England Patriots.

29.) March 30, 2008 — My friend adopted a child from Guatemala. On this day “the boy” turned one. Being “Unca Eric” is the best job in the world.

30.) May 13, 2008 — I flew from Los Angeles to Washington, DC. I attended the Republican Jewish Coalition Leadership Conference and met Dr. Charles Krauthammer.

31.) August 6, 2008 — I flew from Los Angeles to Israel and spent a week in the Holy Land.

32.) August 30, 2008 — I flew from Los Angeles to Minneapolis for my first Republican Convention. For a week, friends and I slept in a sports bar. It was like being Norm Peterson from “Cheers.”

33.) April 5, 2009 — My first book “Ideological Bigotry” was published.

34.) September 1, 2009 — I left Wall Street after 15 years and began my career as a full-time professional speaker.

35.) November 11, 2009 — I flew from Los Angeles to Galveston and spoke at the Texas Federation of Republican Women Convention. I made TFRW and other lifelong friends in the Lone Star State.

36.) March 11, 2010 — I flew from Los Angeles to Oklahoma City to speak at the National Federation of Republican Women Spring Conference. That launched me nationally since the NFRW run the world.

37.) May 1, 2011 — In Aiken, South Carolina, I saw the news that Osama bin Laden was killed. That night I told my very best political joke. “Osama bin Laden is now burning underground with 72 Helen Thomases.” It was the bookend to my very first political joke. “Never rely on a Palestinian GPS tracker. I took one wrong turn, ended up at a cemetery, and a sinister voice said, ‘You have reached your final destination!’ I got so angry I threw the thing out the window, which was good because 5 seconds later it exploded.”

38.) February 9, 2013 — I met Vice President Dick Cheney and spoke in front of him at a dinner.

39.) September 25, 2013 — I spoke to a Tea Party group in Hays, Kansas. At that moment, I had officially spoken in all 50 states.

40.) November 4, 2014 — I spoke at an election night party in New Jersey.

41.) March 20, 2015 — After writing four political comedy books, I finished my first religious comedy book “Jewish Lunacy.” This allowed me to move beyond political speaking into religious speaking.

42.) May 12, 2015 — I met President George W. Bush and shook his hand.

43.) November 8, 2016 — Enjoyed a raucous election night party in Raleigh, North Carolina.

44.) December 31, 2016 — New Year’s Eve with the friends who matter most to me.

45.) Any woman whoever let me play with her yummy bouncies or at least was nice enough to send me pictures of them.

46.) January 9, 2018 — On my 46th birthday, the return of Chucky as Jon Gruden returns to the Black Hole to rejoin the Raiders. Like me, Gruden has unfinished business.

47.) November 9, 2018 — I met Angela Lansbury in Beverly Hills and got my picture taken with her. She remains one of the most talented people in the history of entertainment.

I would like to thank my parents for raising me right and Angela Lansbury’s JB Fletcher of “Murder, She Wrote” for catching murderers and making the world safer.

Anything I could possibly wish for has already been granted.

eric @ Tygrrrr Express