Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

My birthday: 51 happy memories upon turning 51

Tuesday, January 10th, 2023

My birthday: 51 happy memories upon turning 51

I entered this world 51 years ago today on January 9, 1972. On my 49th birthday, here are 49 happy memories.

1.) Every moment I ever spent with my grandparents. They are gone now, but I had all four of them when I graduated college and three of them when I turned 30. I am blessed.

2.) January 9, 1977 — The Oakland Raiders won the Super Bowl on my fifth birthday. I saw the logo and became a Raider for life.

3.) August 15, 1980 — Smokey and the Bandit II came out. I saw the original and the sequel and became a lifelong fan of the Bandit and the Snowman.

4.) January 22, 1984 — The Raiders won their third Super Bowl. I still remember telling the kids at school the next day one simple message. “Just win baby!”

5.) January 21, 1985 — I had my Bar Mitzvah, the Jewish passage into manhood. My Orthodox Rabbi grandfather led the ceremony.

6.) July 13, 1990 — I watched Bill Murray in “Quick Change” for the first of over 100 times. This movie is true New York, and Murray remains a national hero.

7.) August 26, 1990 — I flew from New York to Los Angeles for college. I immediately fell in love with this city and never left.

8.) September 26, 1990 — I joined the campus radio station and developed my lifelong love of radio.

9.) May 10, 1992 — I wrote my first song. 70 more would follow.

10.) January 9, 1994 — The Raiders won a playoff game over arch rival Denver on my 22nd birthday. We all had a big party to celebrate afterward at 1950s Cafe Ed Debevic’s.

11.) June 14, 1994 — The New York Rangers won the NHL Stanley Cup and ended the 54 year curse.

12.) September 13, 1994 — I passed the Series 7 stockbroker’s exam. At that moment I was now a professional.

13.) June 1, 1997 — I saw my friend doing something on a computer that seemed different. He was in a chat room. It was my first time using the Internet.

14.) July 4, 1999 — My friends and I crashed an Independence Day party on the beach and escaped moments before police busted up the party.

15.) September 23, 1999 — I finally got my driver’s license. I never needed one before.

16.) December 31, 1999 — Ringing in the Millennium in Las Vegas.

17.) March 1, 2000 — I flew from Los Angeles to New Orleans for Mardi Gras 2000. I still have my Calvin and Hobbes t-shirt, “Life is short. Party naked. Mardi Gras 2000.”

18.) February 13, 2003 — I watched the movie “Old School.” I will forever thank Vince Vaughn, Will Ferrell and “The Godfather” Luke Wilson for inspiring me at age 31 to finally start going to Florida for Spring Break. Years of South Beach, Miami revelry ensued at the Clevelander and Ocean’s 10.

19.) March 14, 2003 — I flew to Singapore and Thailand and got to experience five days of beauty in each country. I met the Jewish communities of both nations.

20.) November 4, 2003 — NFL Network was born. Finally, a television channel worth watching existed.

21.) November 2, 2004 — Enjoying the 2004 election with my closest friends.

22.) February 12, 2006 — I flew from Los Angeles to Hawaii. I met the Jewish community of Honolulu and attended my first NFL Pro Bowl. I met ESPN’s Chris Berman.

23.) April 28, 2006 — I flew from Los Angeles to New York and went to Radio City Music Hall. For the first time, I got to attend the NFL Draft and meet a bunch of great football heroes.

24.) August 4, 2006 — I flew from Los Angeles to Ohio and drove to Canton. I visited the Pro Football Hall of Fame, saw the induction ceremony featuring John Madden, and attended the Pro Football Hall of Fame Game.

25.) March 11, 2007 — I Started a blog called the Tygrrrr Express. That column somehow turned into five books and a national speaking career.

26.) September 11, 2007 — On the sixth anniversary of the attacks, I flew from Los Angeles to New York and then drove to Great Adventure in New Jersey. I attended Sean Hannity’s Freedom Concert and saw New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani light up the crowd.

27.) October 17, 2007 — I joined Facebook. Between that and Twitter, I have met many good people, increased book sales, and built my business.

28.) February 2, 2008 — I flew from Los Angeles to Phoenix and attended my first Super Bowl. The New York Giants shocked the previously unbeaten New England Patriots.

29.) March 30, 2008 — My friend adopted a child from Guatemala. On this day “the boy” turned one. Being “Unca Eric” is the best job in the world.

30.) May 13, 2008 — I flew from Los Angeles to Washington, DC. I attended the Republican Jewish Coalition Leadership Conference and met Dr. Charles Krauthammer.

31.) August 6, 2008 — I flew from Los Angeles to Israel and spent a week in the Holy Land.

32.) August 30, 2008 — I flew from Los Angeles to Minneapolis for my first Republican Convention. For a week, friends and I slept in a sports bar. It was like being Norm Peterson from “Cheers.”

33.) April 5, 2009 — My first book “Ideological Bigotry” was published.

34.) September 1, 2009 — I left Wall Street after 15 years and began my career as a full-time professional speaker.

35.) November 11, 2009 — I flew from Los Angeles to Galveston and spoke at the Texas Federation of Republican Women Convention. I made TFRW and other lifelong friends in the Lone Star State.

36.) March 11, 2010 — I flew from Los Angeles to Oklahoma City to speak at the National Federation of Republican Women Spring Conference. That launched me nationally since the NFRW run the world.

37.) May 1, 2011 — In Aiken, South Carolina, I saw the news that Osama bin Laden was killed. That night I told my very best political joke. “Osama bin Laden is now burning underground with 72 Helen Thomases.” It was the bookend to my very first political joke. “Never rely on a Palestinian GPS tracker. I took one wrong turn, ended up at a cemetery, and a sinister voice said, ‘You have reached your final destination!’ I got so angry I threw the thing out the window, which was good because 5 seconds later it exploded.”

38.) February 9, 2013 — I met Vice President Dick Cheney and spoke in front of him at a dinner.

39.) September 25, 2013 — I spoke to a Tea Party group in Hays, Kansas. At that moment, I had officially spoken in all 50 states.

40.) November 4, 2014 — I spoke at an election night party in New Jersey.

41.) March 20, 2015 — After writing four political comedy books, I finished my first religious comedy book “Jewish Lunacy.” This allowed me to move beyond political speaking into religious speaking.

42.) May 12, 2015 — I met President George W. Bush and shook his hand.

43.) November 8, 2016 — Enjoyed a raucous election night party in Raleigh, North Carolina.

44.) Any woman whoever let me play with her yummy bouncies or at least was nice enough to send me pictures of them.

45.) January 9, 2018 — On my 46th birthday, the return of Chucky as Jon Gruden returns to the Black Hole to rejoin the Raiders. Like me, Gruden has unfinished business.

46.) November 9, 2018 — I met Angela Lansbury in Beverly Hills and got my picture taken with her. She remains one of the most talented people in the history of entertainment.

47.) 2019 was the year I branch out beyond books and into t-shirts. I started with 2 or 3 designs in 2017 and 2018. By the end of 2019 I had 49 mostly original t-shirt designs. Now I have over 250 mostly original designs. My best seller remains “Stop judging women by their tops. #BackSidesMatter!”

48.) 2020 was a brutal year for so many people because of a global pandemic. Yet thank God I was healthy and in better financial condition than previous years. On January 9, 2021, I watched the NFL Wildcard playoffs with friends. Normally there would be 2 games as has been the case for the last 30 years. Yet for the first time, there were 3 games, with 3 more to occur on January 10th. I watched football all day and had a great day with people who matter to me. I was besieged with well-wishes from hundreds of people by text, phone call and social media. My birthday evening capped with a special someone. I am blessed as can be to have had such a great birthday.

49.) August 9, 2021 — Rabbi Yaakov Perman of Chabad Leawood, Kansas helped me put on Tefillin. At that moment, I had finally put on Tefillin in all 50 states. 

50.) On February 14, 2022, I achieved the American dream that I thought was forever beyond my reached. I finally bought a home. I own a condo in North Miami, Florida. 

51.) On August 14, 2022, I achieved another dream that I thought would never happen. After a life of bachelorhood, I got married. She is a Republican Jewish brunette. 

I would like to thank my parents for raising me right and Angela Lansbury’s JB Fletcher of “Murder, She Wrote” for catching murderers and making the world safer.

Anything I could possibly wish for has already been granted.

eric @ Tygrrrr Express

We…can…do…this…2023

Sunday, January 1st, 2023

2023…We…can…do…this

What the heck is that beeping sound?

(Knocks the phone off the hook, keeps banging the snooze alarm)

A voice tells me it’s my pager. My pager is black, so finding it in the dark is the needle in the haystack equivalent. A lucky smack knocks it against the wall, where it may or may not have shattered. The beeping continues. Why does anyone need a pager anymore anyway?

Who the heck is texting me at this ungodly hour of…(either 7 a.m., 1 p.m., or 1 a.m. …it looks blurry)?

Oh, no. It is 5 a.m., and my first radio interview of the New Year is with the morning man of an East Coast station. Time to pretend to sound coherent and go back to sleep. Oh no, wait, that radio interview was several years ago.

Great, happy wishes for the new year. Thanks. Whoever you are, it is too early to talk to you.

One year the person on the telephone insisted it was 1 p.m. After explaining to them that they were on the East Coast, and that 1 p.m. EST is 10 a.m. in Los Angeles, they grew impatient. They knew how to tell time, and that it was 4 p.m. EST, hence 1 p.m. my time.

Sure, getting up and writing my column is an option. It’s a new year, and starting the year off with a flurry of brilliance might be helpful. Forget it. This column is recycled from years ago. It’s also hours late. That is what happens when people get no sleep because of stressful December football games followed by New Year’s Eve revelry.

Election 2024? The first person to talk politics gets blistered in my column … tomorrow.

Bowl games? There is DVR. Besides, does anybody care who wins the Poulan Weed Eater Bowl, the Lack of Insight.com Bowl, the Fishbowl, the RU486 Morning After Bowl, The California Metrosexual Pride Bowl, or any other game that may or may not be made up?

Speaking of the morning after, does anybody remember the David Byrne Talking Heads song from the movie “Less than Zero? (which the temperature feels like right now in some parts of the country. No wonder I live in this insane city of LA)” The song is called “Once In A Lifetime.”

“This is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife. What have I done? How did I get here?”

It then occurs to me that the beeping sounds are the voices in my head telling me I am too old, even at 46, to stay out this late. Even without alcohol, exhaustion has set in. 

Get out of bed? Work calls in (whenever) hours. Better rest up before my tyrant of a boss complains. Such is the life of the self-employed.

Get up now? Somehow stagger to the shower, get dressed, make it out of my condo to go … where?

The stores are closed. Maybe they are open. Too tired to find out.

My birthday is in just over a week. Time to pace myself.

Work on my website? All that takes is staggering to my couch. Oh, no. My IT guy has not finished it yet. Oh, wait, he did years ago. I clicked on the wrong site.

Go on Jdate and search for women? Not a bad idea, except it is too tiring to check their Adams Apples. This is not the year for a boyfriend, and am not sure that my eyes can tell the difference right now. Besides, Jdate is so 2014. Now it is Tinder, JSwipe and JCrush. Oh, wait. I’m married. No more Internet dating.

Shop on Ebay? No. bad idea. Buying stuff when not at full capacity is problematic. Who needs another mountain goat? Dang creature gets his horns in my hide. Not a comfy way to wake up. Calm down boy, you’ll get some straw to graze on upon my waking up.

Work on my record album? Although again, world, just because my hair is long, that does not mean my band exists. The best instrument is the triangle, because that tells me lunch is ready. Oh wait, my hair is not even that long anymore. I could work on that, although I didn’t do much. I sat. It grew.

Ahh, yes, lunch. Get up and eat something. My microwave is slow, and a five minute microwave dinner takes almost 15 minutes. Read the paper? It is cold outside my building where the stand is, and it only takes coins. Reading the paper online is tiring, and my printer is not working. At least the lifestyle section makes a great placemat for eating. Oh, wait. That stand does not exist anymore. Reading the paper online it is. 

Staying in bed for only a couple more hours until (whatever the big and little hands say) would allow me to stay up all night and be totally exhausted for work tomorrow. Again, my boss is a tyrant.

Running errands … not gonna happen.

Every morning, a four word prayer starts my day. My elbows are used to try and leverage them against my bed to prop me up. Placing my alarm clock on the other side of the room failed, since ripping the cord out of the wall solved that problem.

As for the Jewish brunette who stole the covers, her voice was not a problem last night, although if she opens her trap today she will receive a more caustic reception than usual.

Oh wait, she already left. Here is a note. “Tried to wake you, but that was a losing battle. By the way, you have nothing but soda in your fridge. Talk to you soon.” oh, wait, I think that happened over a decade ago. My wife stocked the fridge. 

There are also potato chips in my fridge as well. Why they are there remains a mystery, but it saves having to remember which cabinet they are in. One-stop shopping  is the way to go.

Besides, combing my hair for her was enough. Not doing it this morning, proud “retrosexual” that is me.

At least having the decency to say some morning prayers would be appropriate.

“Hey God…those people I pray for every night…yeah those people, the same ones…look after them again.”

Back to sleep, despite every attempt to wake up. The home phone is turned off, the cell is off as well, and the pager is still shattered, in addition to being disconnected years ago.

There may have been a car crash outside my building followed by 911 calls and sirens, but telling everybody to “keep it down,” solved that problem. A brief nightmare of me being late for work was averted when I realized my location to me was known if necessary.

Four televisions in the living room, and none in the bedroom. Who thought that up? Oh yeah, a television in the bedroom would promote laziness. Besides, trying to figure out which remote to use would cause me to break them all as if they were my pager.

Ok, here it is. Come on, elbows, do your stuff. Rise, young lad, rise! Awaken thy exhausted tired eyes!

Why is God shouting? Oh wait, that is my over-dramatization of God.

Time to set the alarm now to avoid missing work tomorrow. Where was it thrown? Threw it? Oh, screw it.

Ok, time for my four word prayer. It has gotten me this incredibly terribly far. Time to contemplate getting out of bed.

“We…can…do…this.”

Happy 2023 all. Except for the person who woke me up earlier. Whoever you are, I still can’t stand you, even though you are doing me a favor.

Ten hours and 16 bowl games later, there is only one thing left to do.

Time for a nap. Happy 2023.

Zzzzz.

eric

The Top 10 Powerful Bald White Guys (PBWGs) of 2022

Friday, December 30th, 2022

The Top 10 Powerful Bald White Guys (PBWGs) of 2022

This list is dedicated to the late radio host Austin Hill. He was a great guy who left us far too soon. He loved this list and gave it more attention than it ever deserved. May he never be forgotten.

This list was inspired by Dann Florek, who played Police Captain Donald Cragen on the “Law & Order” franchises for a couple decades.

A lot of people did not make the list. Joe Biden is ineligible until he admits his baldness and stops hiding behind hair plugs. Vladimir Putin is ineligible because he is a ruthless killer and I do not wish to die. If he asks, I think he has lovely hair. Jeff Bezos is the richest man in the world, but he is no longer the CEO of Amazon. Being rich is not the same as being powerful. Bring powerful requires doing things. He seems either bored or retired. 

Many PBWGs are just retiring, from outgoing Maryland Governor Larry Hogan to outgoing Vermont Senator Patrick Leahy. Even the chairman of the federal reserve is now a guy with good hair. 

With that, here are the Top 10 Powerful Bald White Guys (PBWGs) of 2022.

10.) Sam Brinton — He is either transgender, gender fluid, or some other description of himself. He wears lipstick and attempts to look female. Because he lacked useful job skills and filled a token liberal quota, the Biden administration hired him to oversee America’s nuclear program. Brinton supporters are part of an unhealthy group of people who believe a person’s sexuality is an accomplishment rather than a state of being. The rainbow-colored halo around Brinton’s head faded when he was caught stealing airport luggage from other passengers. This is not a gay or straight thing. It’s a criminal thing. He may go to jail. He may ask to be placed in a women’s prison. One look at his mugshot shows an angry bald white male. Brinton would rank higher but he has left the Biden administration. 

10.) Noah Oppenheim — The push for diversity and equity has allowed talentless PBWGs to be replaced with equally talentless minorities. Wokeness is in direct conflict with competence and qualifications. ABC, CBS, CNN and MSNBC all replaced their PBWGs. Even at the competent Fox News, there is no PBWG in charge. Only one major news network keeps preaching diversity for others but not themselves. NBC News President Noah Oppenheim is a relic of a bygone era. He may deeply believe in social justice as long as he can still reign supreme over others. He has no intention of stepping down and giving an oppressed minority a chance. He is the last PBWG news honcho holdout.

9.) Rupert Murdoch — He is the chairman of News Corp.,, which owns Fox News, the New York Post and the Wall Street Journal. Yet he installed a woman as President of Fox News. The reason he Unlike Oppenheim, Murdoch has actually tried to step down. The problem is the younger generation of Murdochs lack their father’s talents. Son James in particular is a black sheep of the family, which does not count as diversity. At age 92, Murdoch knows his career in its twilight. Yet he is still the longest lasting PWBG in the history of media. 

8.) Joe Rogan — He was once a part of an ensemble sitcom called “Newsradio.” Now he is the king of the news on the radio. He has the top podcast. Although many people still do not know or care what a podcast is, many people do. Rogan is not political, but he asks serious questions of political figures that the mainstream media refuses to ask. He is a professional comedian, yet his program can be very serious. Most importantly, he frequently turns out to be right by proving the experts wrong. He has become a champion for free speech and giving a voice to the voiceless. The cancel culture failed to cancel him. Society at large is better for this. 

7.) David M. Solomon — Normally the Head Sled at Golden Sachs is the top PBWG because Goldman Sachs runs the world. Goldman Sachs has a history of flitting in between corporate power and government power. Jon Corzine, Hank Paulson, and Lloyd Blankfein are all former Goldman Sachs  PBWG top dogs. Solomon may own the top spot in future years, but it’s tough to win out in tough economic times and war raging across the world. Goldman Sachs is laying off thousands of workers. The company will be fine, but the anti-Wall Street climate makes it tough for Goldman Sachs to have its usual level of undue influence over the government. 

6.) Bernie Sanders — Democrats have gone out of their way to deny the Vermont Senator the Democrat presidential nomination. Yet as the Biden administration flails, fails and flounders, the Bernie supporters are as emboldened as ever. There is simply nobody else to replace him as the leader of his movement. Liz Warren is angry, repulsive and frumpy. The Bernie bots talk about AOC, but they know that is unrealistic. While critics dismiss the idea of a third Bernie presidential run, he has repeatedly confounded expectations. The one advantage Bernie has over Biden is the ability to speak English in full sentences. 

4.) Mark Kelly — The Arizona Senator got elected due to a wellspring of sympathy in the wake of his wife being shot. His record is one of uselessness, yet he keeps winning by hiding his beliefs. He is for everything that is popular until the political winds change. He is actually a hardcore leftist, but he has to pretend to be against open borders. He has mastered the art of asking for help securing the border and then not following up. He hopes that in good time Americans will forget about the pesky border problem and all the fentanyl deaths. He has perfected the art of middle management. Say nothing, have nobody realize you’re in charge, and collect a paycheck. This is much easier than being an astronaut.  

John Fetterman — This rich white leftist spent his entire life doing hard drugs and leeching off of his parents. Like most failures, he became a hardcore leftist virtue-signaler. After a failed stint as a small-town mayor, he decided to fail upward by having his family buy him a Senate seat. Despite suffering a stroke that rendered him incoherent, he insisted on staying in the race. His wife seemed to care more about power than his health. While the Pennsylvania Democrat running for Governor coasted to a 17 point win, Fetterman eked out a one point win over a Republican celebrity with few known core beliefs. Fetterman won by refusing to campaign. He adopted the Joe Biden strategy of hiding in his basement. Now he has six years to get paid without doing any real work. He shows up everywhere in t-shirts and shorts, because rich white leftists believe looking like a bum is the same thing as identifying with people who are struggling. This lazy man of zero accomplishments moralizes to everyone else. Yet despite having no skills, he will have plenty of power in the coming years. 

Rachel Levine — The United States Assistant Secretary of Health keeps insisting that she is female. She has never been singer Adam Levine, but she was born Richard Levine. Richard Levine married a woman and had children, but became a female in 2011. Nevertheless, Levine has won award in multiple genders. USA named her a woman of the year, but the Babylon Bee satire site named her man of the year. Levine’s power goes beyond people not knowing what he or she is. It comes from people not knowing from what Levine does. Her job involves health, but there is nothing about Levine that screams health from a physical or emotional standpoint. She is a token diversity hire in keeping with the Biden tradition of hiring the 1st diverse unqualified incompetent person they can find. PBWGs are boring. Making her a woman is supposed to make her fascinating, but her speeches are quite dull. He and she have both come under fire for publicly recommending that children be encouraged to transition without parental consent. She is against the term “groomer” despite the shoe fitting perfectly for any person of any gender harming children in this manner. This is what happens when political ideology is put above basic human sanity and decency. Unlike Sam Brinton, Levine has managed to avoid committing fireable offenses. 

Yet if there is confusion for the PBWG award because of Levine’s gender, our top spot offers confusion based on race. 

Alejandro Mayorkas _ The Secretary of Homeland Security is deeply committed to an open border. If you like fentanyl killing Americans, thank Mayorkas. He knows what gender he is, but some claim he is ineligible to be a PBWG. He is Hispanic, not Caucasian. He was born in Havana, Cuba, and seems to lie the Fidel Castro authoritarian system. Yet thanks to the Goerge Zimmerman trial, a new category of people was invented by the liberal media called “white Hispanic.” Nobody knows what this means. It is as useless outside woke leftists circles as LatinX (no relation to Malcolm X). Mayorkas is one of the most powerful officials in all of government. He receives huge sums of money to defy congressional orders implementing his boss’s illegal open border agenda. In the spirit of diversity and multiculturalism, it seems unfair to deny this gleaming cueball his due. He has earned the top spot through a hard lack of real work. By being good at nothing, bad at everything, and highly compensated, the over-powerful anti-border Mayorkas is living the American dream. Only in America can someone who hates America conquer it from within without facing consequences. 

For being above the law and flouting that power every single day, Alejandro Mayorkas is the Top Powerful Bald White Guy of 2022

eric

Top 10 Bimbos of 2022

Thursday, December 29th, 2022

The Top 10 Bimbos of 2022

As 2022 prepares to enter the history books, it is time to take a look at the most shallow, vapid people of the year. This list of the Top 10 Bimbos of 2022 has always been controversial because angry leftist feminists (redundant) are incapable of reading the disclaimer. The term “bimbo” is gender neutral. Gender neutral is not the same thing as gender fluid, which is what one puts in their automobile if they self-identify as a car. Gender neutral means bimbos can be male or female. The only qualification is that the person must coast on their style while having zero substance. For years these awards were dedicated to the ultimate bimbos: Former President Barack Obama and singer Katy Perry. Ms. Perry has been less obnoxious in recent years, so she has been replaced in the ultimate bimbo category by her rival Taylor Swift.

Many of you will be surprised that Joe Biden, Kamala Harris and Pete Buttigieg all failed to make the list. They have not stopped being bimbos, but selecting the same people every year makes things boring. Also, there are so many bimbos of their il that I felt it necessary to replace them in the interest of their cherished diversity. Neither Prince Harry or Meghan Markle made the list. They have not stopped being insufferable pompous @sses, but there is plenty of time in the future for them to return to this list. I tried to select people that would probably not make the list again. This is their only chance.

Taylor Swift and Kanye West just barely missed the list. These two became joined at the hip years ago when west crashed swift’s acceptance speech. These people are both narcissists. Swift has a carefully crafted reputation for being a sweetheart. Her facade belies a cold, indifferent woman who spends her life complaining that her relationships keeps failing. Her music is about settling scores, failing to realize that maybe she is the problem. While she was not responsible for the Ticketmaster fiasco, she stayed silent as her fans burned. As for West, he suffers from mental illness. Normally that would get him sympathy points, but his constant rants against Jews is over the line. So is his hanging out with actual Neo-Nazis. Swift and West deserve each other. They could be a self-absorbed super-couple. West would finally have a man and Kanye would have a new marriage to wreck. Yet there were actually 10 people even worse than them.

With that, here are the Top 10 Bimbos of 2022.

 

10.) Jada Pinkett Smith — Some of you may wonder why her husband Will Smith is not on this list for slapping Chris Rock. What Will did was wrong, but Jada set the whole thing in motion. Rock made a joke, because that is what comedians do. He made fun of her for being bald. Will initially laughed at the joke until he saw that his wife was angry and humorless. Will harmed his career and his reputation to pacify his wife. This is after she spent their entire marriage humiliating him by declaring herself in an open marriage. For using and abusing a good guy and letting him take the fall, she is awful even by low Hollywood standards. She would rank higher on this list except that people in Hollywood are the least important people on earth.

9.) Josh McDaniels — The former Patriots offensive coordinator is considered a genius because he won Super Bowls with Bill Belichick and Tom Brady. He took over a decent Denver Broncos team and drove them into the ground in less than two years. He flaked on taking the Indianapolis Colts job after accepting it. He might be the most hated man in football not named Lane Kiffin. He parlayed his last failure as a head coach into the head coaching job with the Raiders. He took a playoff team and turned it into a losing team. He took a Pro Bowl quarterback in Derek Carr, wrecked his game, and then benched Carr. McDaniels is very good at blaming everyone else, but the main reason his teams fail is because of him. Now he has all but blown up the franchise, knowing that he cannot be fired with three years remaining on his contract. He is that rare combination of arrogance without the achievements to back it up.

8.) Paul Pelosi — In late 2022, the husband of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was bludgeoned in his home by a mentally ill leftist political activist ranting and raving about his wife. Mr. Pelosi became a sympathetic figure, but the truth of what happened has been suppressed by the media. Rumors abound that he was attacked by someone he knew and invited over to his home. Whether this was a gay romance gone bad or a legitimate robbery turned violent, the media needs to stop hiding the video footage. The real issue is that Paul Pelosi has been protected his entire life. Earlier in 2022, he caused a drunk driving accident that left him injured and two cars smashed. Again, getting a video of the crime scene has proved impossible. The leftist prosecutors did everything they could to tank the case. This is odd given that Paul Pelosi as a teenager was responsible for a driving crash that killed someone. His rich white liberal privilege prevents him from facing charges for any of these situations or for his years of insider trading. His stock trades would be illegal if done by someone not married to one of the most powerful Democrats in America.

7.) John Fetterman — This rich white leftist spent his entire life doing hard drugs and leeching off of his parents. Like most failures, he became a hardcore leftist virtue-signaler. After a failed stint as a small-town mayor, he decided to fail upward by having his family buy him a Senate seat. Despite suffering a stroke that rendered him incoherent, he insisted on staying in the race. His wife seemed to care more about power than his health. While the Pennsylvania Democrat running for Governor coasted to a 17 point win, Fetterman eked out a one point win over a Republican celebrity with few known core beliefs. Fetterman won by refusing to campaign. He adopted the Joe Biden strategy of hiding in his basement. Now he has six years to get paid without doing any real work. He shows up everywhere in t-shirts and shorts, because rich white leftists believe looking like a bum is the same thing as identifying with people who are struggling. This lazy man of zero accomplishments moralizes to everyone else.

6.) Disney executives — There have been many legitimate reasons to hate Disney over the years. Nevertheless, it is hard to believe the company is worse than when Michael Eisner was around. He only wasted money and created a fraudulent image of Mickey Mouse. A Disney vacation has long been unaffordable, but in 2022 the company began committing corporate suicide by embracing woke leftist politics. Every character had to appeal to transgender people and Black Lives Matter activists or be shut down. When leftists demanded that Disney speak out against a Florida “Don’t say gay” bill that had nothing to do with gay people, Disney buckled to pressure. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis had finally had enough of Disney’s virtue-signaling. He threatened to remove Disney’s special tax exemption. The mice behind the mouse got the message. The CEO was ousted and Bob Iger returned. He is a liberal virtue-signaler himself, but a raging capitalist first. He will replace wokeism with Disney’s true goal, jacking up the stock price.

5.) Sam Brinton — The Biden is famous for hiring tokens. Someone can be completely unqualified to do any real work as long as they belong to a real or invented minority group. Sam Brinton is unsure about his own gender. In Biden’s eyes, this made him qualified to handle nuclear waste material for the government. Brinton spent more time talking about his sexuality than in doing his job. Like most leftists, he labeled anyone questioning his job performance as homophobic. Yet even Brinton found out that a person’s sexuality is not an excuse for being a common criminal thief. After being repeatedly caught on airport cameras stealing other people’s luggage, Brinton was arrested. As flamboyant as he looked while on the job, this person claiming to be a female looked like a standard bald white male in his mugshot. Brinton was hired because he was of an indeterminate gender. He was fired for being a criminal.

4.) Nina Jankowicz — This unbelievably annoying virtue-signaling leftist was selected by Joe Biden to head up his “Disinformation Governance Board.” The real shock is that such a position could even exist in America. Like most leftists, Jankowicz was eager to censor conservatives under the cover of disinformation. Even by normal liberal smugness standards, her chirping altered lyrics to “SuperCalifragiliciousexpialadocious” was insufferable. Outrage against her led to a backlash against this new board. She denied the board and met, got caught lying about this, and resigned under pressure. The board was disbanded. Now this zealot is taking her “talents” to the private sector, where she gets paid to scream “disinformation” at people she hates. Despite her horrible existence in government, her very brief tenure prevented her from being destructive enough to rank higher.

3.) Former Twitter executives — When Elon Musk purchased Twitter, he discovered a cesspool of corruption and censorship. Twitter’s executive team of hardcore leftists took glee in censoring and banning conservatives. Many of the bans were arbitrary under the phony guise of “misinformation.” From Covid to climate change to transgenderism, misinformation was simply anything powerful liberals disagreed with. The main censorship culprits Vijaya Gadde, Yoel Roth, Parag Agrawal. Agrawal was the CEO and Censor-in-Chief who proudly declared that censoring opposing views was acceptable. Roth was the Head of Trust and Safety, a laughable title. Gadde had the even more fraudulent title of Head of Legal, Policy and Trust. The people in charge of “trust” repeatedly got lying about their intentions, methods and practices. As the worst of the bunch, Gadde was naturally hired by the Biden administration to help censorship efforts there. People who can defend their ideas and beliefs do so.People with indefensible ideas and beliefs try to prevent opposing views from being uttered. Normally these wretched would top the list of bimbos, but their influence has been reduced thanks to Musk cleaning house.

2.) Sam Bankman-Fried — Based on his style of dress, this young virtue-signaler might be the love child of John Fetterman and Don King. Sam Bankman-Fried was a 30 year old billionaire who ran a cryptocurrency firm. He showed up to meetings in short and a t-shirt and became a member of the protected class due to his progressive politics. He donated millions of dollars to Democrats. He was the second biggest Democrat donor behind George Soros. Yet behind all of his billions of dollars was not business acumen but outright criminal fraud. Crypto may be complex, but what SBF did was very simple. He commingled customer funds with company funds, illegally withdrew customer funds, and used those customer funds to fund his lavish lifestyle. SBF got away with it for so long for the same reason most of his ilk do. He spouted progressive politics and gave heavily to Democrats. He is a vegan. He supports climate change action and gay rights. He virtue-signals. Democrats in return protected him. He bought their silence with illegally donated stolen campaign cash. Yet the bigger story is that every link in his business chain is fraud. The input is crypto, which is in itself a fraudulent “currency” built on nothing and used to finance drug and sex trafficking. The output is climate change action, which is based on fraudulent pseudo-science and lies meant to manipulate people. SBF was the fraudulent middle man connecting a fraudulent product with fraudulent purposes. The case against him is strong, but powerful people do not want him to testify. Chances are, the prosecutors against him will tank the case.

The only reason SBF is not number one is because he is a private citizen. He is connected on high to powerful people in government, but the guy ahead of him is in charge of a major part of our government.

1.) Merrick Garland — He pretended to be a moderate Democrat so that he could lie his way onto the United States Supreme Court. Republicans smartly figured out that Barack Obama nominated leftists, not moderates. Obama likes people who use their government position to seek revenge on political opponents. Upon becoming Joe Biden’s Attorney General, Garland went into vengeance mode. Under pressure from his fellow angry leftists, Garland became obsessed with imprisoning Donald Trump ahead of the 2024 election. If Donald Trump were truly irrelevant, the Biden administration would ignore him. If Joe Biden won the 2020 presidential election over Trump honestly, Biden would delight in a rematch. At the very least his supporters would not live in fear of this rematch. Democrats are determined to ban Trump from running again, which is what dictators in third world banana republics do to their political opposition.

Under orders from the boss and heavy pressure from the left, Attorney General Merrick Garland ordered a raid on Trump’s Mar-A-Lago mansion. The same FBI agents who perpetrated the 2016 Russia collusion hoax were involved in this raid. Trump was accused of stealing classified documents. This lacks common sense. Any United States President can declare any document unclassified. The double standard was astounding given the kid glove treatment Hillary Clinton received for actually illegally possessing classified documents. Her home was never raided. The raid backfired. Even those who had become weary of Trump’s behavior were outraged at the abuse of government power. In an even more bizarre turn of events, FBI agents felt compelled in the name of “national security” to rifle through Melania Trump’s underwear. Perhaps Garland has weird sexual proclivities akin to Biden or J. Edgar Hoover. He turned a document raid into a panty raid. Garland’s worst quality is his stubborn insistence that he is apolitical and runs the Department of Justice in an apolitical manner. This is nonsense. He kicks in doors with guns drawn and arrests 70 and 80 year old Republicans. He places them in solitary confinement. Democrats get the kid glove treatment. For being more obsessed with Americans who disagree with him politically than with actual global terrorists, Merrick Garland is the top bimbo of 2022.

eric

Festivus 2022: You are all wrong

Friday, December 23rd, 2022
Some of you think Festivus is today. You are all wrong. Festivus should be December 27, not December 23. So save your airing of grievances until Tuesday.
This was my first arbitrary decision today.
eric @ Tygrrrr Express

Hanukkah 2022 Menorah Lighting and Party Schedule

Sunday, December 18th, 2022
Hanukkah is my favorite holiday. Football is my favorite sport. Today is a great Sunday to enjoy both. Here is my Hanukkah schedule:
Los Angeles (all subject to change)
Tonight December 18: Pico Shul:
Tomorrow night: Citywalk
Tuesday night: Chabad Brentwood
Wednesday night: Chabad Simi Valley
Thursday night: Fly to Las Vegas
Friday night: Shabbos in Las Vegas
Saturday night: Menorah lighting in Las Vegas plus the Raiders game vs Pittsburgh.
Sunday night: Hanukkah at the sportsbar to enjoy football and another Las Vegas Menorah lighting.
Monday night December 26: Fly back to Los Angeles.
Now to enjoy football. To quote John Randall and Mike Singletary:
“This is when the big dogs come out!”

Thanksgiving 2022 — My Gratitude

Thursday, November 24th, 2022
On February 14, 2022, at age 50, I bought a condo in Miami, Florida. I had never owned a home before. I finally achieved the American dream. I bought before the rate hikes.
On August 14, 2022, for the first and hopefully last time in my life, I got married. I wondered if marriage was in my future after a lifetime of being single.
I still thank God I have my parents.
I have the best friends a guy could possibly ask for.
I live in the greatest nation on earth. I live in a beautiful city with perfect weather.
I have a roof over my head, clothing on my body, food in my belly, a big feast upcoming this evening, and the full use of my eyes, ears, arms and legs.
I have so much to be thankful for. On this Thanksgiving, I am filled with gratitude.
May your Thanksgiving be rewarding and the beginning of the best days of all of our lives.
eric

Just got married

Sunday, August 14th, 2022

After 50 years of being a bachelor, I just got married.

eric

July 2022 TYGRRRR EXPRESS Missouri Fair Schedule

Saturday, July 9th, 2022
Time to go back on the road. Flying tonight from Los Angeles through Salt Lake City, Utah on to St. Louis. I have 3 fairs back to back to back in the Show-Me State.
July 12-16: Lincoln County Fair in Troy near St. Louis in Eastern Missouri.
July 18-23: Northeast Missouri Fair.
July 28-August 6: Springfield Fair in Southwest Missouri.
I will probably do some speaking events on the days I am not working a fair.
Time to flee the coast and get back to Heartland, Normal America, USA.
eric

Something about abortion

Friday, June 24th, 2022

Something happened today involving abortion…shrug.

The stock market is up big today. Nothing like a quiet news day.
If Israel took out Iran today, the liberal media would not notice. Sadly, the same is true for Russia regarding Ukraine.
Thankfully, yesterday’s Supreme Court ruling protects law-abiding gun owners from violent rioters. By now, I’m sure the gun decision has already been forgotten by the mob, who have moved on to other things.
The good news is that nobody on the left can even pretend to care about the January 6th hearings anymore.
Any potential hysteria about women dying will result in a reminder that they were already told they would die from climate change. 
I just hope today’s protesters have the courtesy to save lives by wearing masks, especially if they are as hideous as Liz Warren.
Now that the Supreme Court has gotten the small issues out of the way, our government can get back to focusing on life and death issues like supply side tax cuts.
Democrat leaders warn that today’s Supreme Court decision could force women to travel across state lines for Democrat Party fundraisers.
How can leftists riot for the rights of women when last month they couldn’t tell us what a woman was?
Why are leftists focused on women at the expense of the other 155 genders?
As for what changed, how should I know? I’m not a biologist.
Could be a hormonal thing (gratuitous but still hilarious).
Expect a ton of rioting from hideously unattractive women that no man would want to impregnate anyway.
(Shut up, leftists. George Carlin made that joke about pro-life women ages ago.)
“Man I haven’t seen the Democrats this riled up since we freed the slaves.” — Phil Parker.
Me — Or since yesterday.
Because of today’s Supreme Court decision, women may have to travel across state lines. Now leftist women may finally start caring about the price of gasoline.
20 years ago a leftist feminist zealot (redundant) started screaming at me. I tried to explain reality to her.
“Look, I understand your anger and your passion, but trust me. Gay couples cannot have abortions!”
She angrily asked why not.
I told her “Because God made it this way!”
She called me a Bible-thumping zealot.
Finally, I told her, “Do you want me to show you a diagram? It’s not going to happen!”
That was back when leftist women knew what women were.
So what is your view? Should gay couples be allowed to have abortions? Or is an outright ban required? Should Congress act immediately on this crisis?
Football coach Bill Parcells yelling at his players who were hurt: “Don’t tell me about the pain, just deliver the d@mn baby!” I don’t think he was referencing abortion, but it’s still an awesome quote. 
Question for pro-lifers: Would you still be willing to be pro-life if you knew that modern medical technology would show that the child would grow up to be defective ideologically like Nancy Pelosi?
I’ve gotten some great answers over the years.
Rick Santorum: “I believe there is hope for every child.”
Jim Demint. “Wow, that’s a hard choice.”
Herman Cain: “I may have to rethink my position.”
Pro-choicers are protesting by blocking streets. Because blocking traffic during rush hour is a great way to win friends and influence people. What happens if God forbid a woman dies trying to get to a clinic or hospital because the streets are blocked?
So if a gay pride month party happens tonight at the same time as an abortion night of rage, which one do liberals attend?
Does gay pride month extend into July 1st, or is tonight lost forever?
Can the abortion rioters take a break to attend the gay pride rallies?
Whatever your views on various LGBTQ issues, at least they know how to party. I’d rather attend a party with gay men laughing and dancing than attend an abortion rally of perpetually angry scowling women. The gay rights parties have excellent food. The abortion rioters are most likely vegans.
Also, what happens if the abortion rioters honk horns and leave trash behind? Isn’t that bad for the environment?
Just to be clear, some of these people are professional rioters who go to everything. Apparently the BLM rioters did not get the memo about the abortion riots because the abortion rioters are overwhelmingly white. The only whiter crowds are at environmental rallies.
Did the night of rage turn into an Insurrection or an Intifada, or was it just a standard Liz Warren supporters gathering of the Uglocracy?
Also, if people protest the Supreme Court and the Court is out of town, does the tree still make a sound loud enough to harm the Ozone layer?
I just hope these mostly peaceful protesters don’t burn down or harm any statues of George Washington or George Floyd.
Challenge: Name 3 things less important than these protests.
If a liberal starts boring me to death, how quickly do I have to abort the conversation?

If I wait too long to terminate the discussion, am I required to let them keep talking until I want to hang myself?

eric