In Olympics news…Oh, nobody cares!

In London 2012 Olympics news….oh, nobody cares!

The Olympics are so boring that Mitt Romney chose Paul Ryan to be his running mate without fear of depressed media coverage.

The Olympics are so boring that Debbie Wasserman-Schultz went on Fox News in the hopes somebody would watch her instead.

The Olympics are so boring that NFL pre-season football will remind Americans what real sports are.

The Olympics are so boring that the biggest splashes come in opening and closing ceremonies. Football is not dependent on the halftime show.

When I say football, I mean American football, not “futbol.”

For all the feel-good pablum about competition and the best of the world spirit, the truth is a bunch of nations use professional athletes instead of amateurs. They all cheat. Since everybody does it, somehow that makes it acceptable. The United Nations might be the only entity more corrupt than the International Olympic Committee.

Is there anything to be thankful for?

Yes, the games are over. The empty seats no longer have to be explained. Most importantly, the United States won more medals than France.

This concludes my London 2012 Olympics report. For more coverage, Greg Gutfeld of “Redeye” has a correspondent pretending to be in London.

eric

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