Some people can’t watch the news. They see Virgina Tech, and they change the channel. I respect these people. We all cope in different ways. I can’t turn the television away from it. I was able to keep my emotions in check until they started showing the names and faces of the victims. Each one of them, gone forever. After five hours, not so much from fatigue as from grief, I changed the channel. There was a movie starring Jennifer Lopez and Jane Fonda.
The plot was fairly simple, as one would expect from a movie starring J-Lo and J-Fo. J-Lo was marrying J-Fo’s son, and J-Fo was the evil mother-in-law determined to stop the wedding. This was as “non-Virginia Tech” as one could get in terms of relevance, cerebral capacity required, and seriousness. Then near the end of the movie (please stop reading if your lives will be altered by knowing how it ends…which if this is the case, reread my article about “nonsense.”), the two women start slapping each other. At that moment, the groom’s grandmother (J-Fo’s mother in law, brilliantly played by the queen of battle axes, Elaine Stritch) enters the room and begins torturing J-Fo. J-Lo sees those two women arguing and sees her own future. After grandma leaves the room, J-Lo says to future mom in law J-Fo “It’s never going to stop. It’s never going to end. This is us 30 years from now. It’s always going to be like this.”
The two women then reach a fragile peace agreement to share the son/husband in a fair manner both can live with.
I have to confess that I expected the movie to be terrible. I know nothing about J-Lo’s music. I know she is famous for having a large backside, and that she dated Puffy/Diddy/Daddy/Combs something-or-other (I have no idea what he does for a living…if anyone knows, please clue me in. I know he is famous for something). As far as J-Fo is concerned, I only know about her political activism, which I deplore, and that she was married to two people whose political activism I also have little regard for. So it is to their credit that they produced a movie that was not only enjoyable, but (possibly by coincidence) thought provoking.
These women were fighting about nonsense. Their conflict was as avoidable as it was ridiculous. By gazing into the future through the grandmother, they saw how futile and asinine their feud was.
Most of us cannot see into the future, so we pursue feuds that are unwise, unnecessary, and harmful. What did Donald Trump ever do to deserve Rosie O’Donnell’s wrath? When did being rich and successful become a crime? Also, Mr. Trump gave a young person a second chance. Whatever his motives, isn’t that something positive?
Why are people who believe in God and express pride in their religiosity seen as zealots? Isn’t believing that you are lower and answer to something more important and higher a sign of humility? I worry about people who believe they have no one and nothing to answer to.
When the republican delegates at the convention in 2000 started singing Lee Greenwood’s beautiful song “God Bless the USA,” they were ridiculed on television as being jingoistic. They were not attacking the patriotism of anyone else. They were just expressing their love for this great nation. Why mock something so poignant when alot of life is insincere?
Just because some politicians and religious leaders are phonies does not invalidate them all. To strive to be better than who we are, and reach an ideal of who and what we can and could be…again, that is something overwhelmingly positive.
This brings us to Virginia Tech. Looking for blame rehashes arguments that have not been resolved, and will not be resolved 30 years from now, or beyond. Gun control? Immigration? The educational system in general? Mental health care? These are issues we can talk about LATER. What we need to talk about NOW is how to help the people of Virginia Tech. Period. Paralysis by analysis can be fine later on.
For now we have to let these people know we care. They know we cannot bring back their loved ones. However, we can send cards…letters…emails…silent prayers…anonymous caring. It does matter.
I do not know if we could have prevented this tragedy. I do know that we can compound it by focusing on everything but the only thing that matters…the human beings who we lost and their surviving loved ones.
I say this also because my dad’s angiogram was postponed by one day. He will have it tomorrow. I could focus no the fact that he puts salt on his steaks, or that he may not exercise enough, or that he smokes an occasional cigar, or that he worries too much, blah blah blah…none of that means anything. Do I sue Philip Morris or Lawrys (They make the steaks and the salt)? No. I pray for my dad to live because I love him…and that is it.
We spend too much time judging people, and not enough time loving people. Lord knows I am guilty of that. If we all crossed the aisle and listened to others, we could be who we want to be. I most likely will never purchase a J-Lo album or agree with J-Fo’s politics. However, for a brief amount of time, I was relaxed by a lighthearted movie in which they both gave enjoyable performances.
The movie was fiction. The behavior they exhibited in the end to reach their peace agreement could become reality on a larger scale. Otherwise, we will look into the future and see a world of pain…not only is this consequence awful for human hearts and souls…it is entirely avoidable.
The future will be there. The past is done and cannot be changed. The present is staring us in the face. It is the people of Virgina Tech. I will turn the tv on tonight after work, and for a few hours, they will be in my hearts again. I pray for them all.
eric
RCP Vote
“I worry about people who believe they have no one and nothing to answer to.”
That’s just the beginning that leads to the me, me, me of our age. Something like what this Cho guy did has got to be somewhat related, not to say someone with faith could not commit an atrocity like this; but when we all get to the point of “no one and nothing to answer to,” we can expect alot less of humanity.
Hope your Dad’s angio goes well; I’m sure it will.
Do yourself a favor and don’t watch anymore of these Vietnam Vets are NOT Fonda Jane flicks; although I’m glad it gave you pause and helped you avoid the VT news cycle.