THE TYGRRRR EXPRESS

Where are the Pro-war movies?

Long before Hollywood made it’s living aiding and comforting the enemies of the nation that pays their mostly undeserved salaries, there was a time when the entertainment industry loved America. During World War II, they loved America as it was, not the obscure utopian society they wished it to be. The movie industry showed America and the Allies as the good guys, the Axis as the bad guys, and the twain did not meet. Patriotic movies had rich soundtracks with music designed to pump up emotions and tug at heart strings. It is time to write that movie today.

My knowledge is not movies. It is music, primarily 1980s hard rock music, which had its zenith from 1986 to 1992. There are many songs that could be used at various scenes in the movie. I have no knowledge of the political views of many of the artists, or whether or not they would approve of their music being used to promote America’s justified struggle to win the War on Terror. Nevertheless, let freedom ring and the music blare.

The movie could start out with Osama hiding in a cave, as Firehouse’s “Reach for the sky,” starts to play. “Well I’m an outlaw…I make my living on the run…my life is lonely…but I was born to need no one…always on my own.” A video camera can then pan away to soldiers training by shooting at bulls eyes of Bin Laden. “Reach for the sky…I’ll shoot you down, in the blink of an eye…nowhere to run, nowhere to hide…I’ve got the drop on you, so raise ’em high…reach for the sky.”

As Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “The smell of death,” booms loudly, the American soldiers refuse to let anything stand in their path. “Whiskey bottles…brand new car…oak tree you’re in my way.” The troops soldier on, very motivated.

There would be car chases, explosions, heroes saving lives, and testosterone filled rock music. There would be fierce firefights, one of which would take place with the recent song by “Kiss” star Paul Stanley. As we kicked in doors and hunted terrorists one by one, over the loudspeakers would play. “Day by day, kicking on all the way, I’m not caving in…Live to win…till you die…live to win.”

In one of the bloodiest firefights of the movie, the Sammy Hagar song from the Sylvester Stallone movie “Over the Top” would be playing. A movie about arm wrestling is a great metaphor for a movie about hand to hand combat. “A burst of light…inside your soul…and when the heart…gets pumped up for the gold…there’s no defeat…you’d sooner die…it’s man to man, as we stand, eye to eye…Winner takes it all…loser takes a fall…fight to the beginning of the end…Winner takes it all…till he breaks or falls…time to make it over the top.” At that moment an American soldier would find Osama and and shove him up against the wall, decking him in the face and forcing him to submit to American will and steel before he is beaten up some more.

I want to make it crystal clear that I am not trivializing war. War is hell, and no sane person wants it. However, America never asked for war. We were attacked, and are fighting back. It would help if we could win the public relations war. The soldiers are fabulous. The media undermines them.

Manuel Noriega was brought down not just by military force, but by rock music. He was holed up in a church, which should have lost its protection under the Geneva Convention since it was used for criminal purposes. We blared rock music so that Noriega could not sleep. He caved.

Caved is the appropriate word. We need to go to every cave, and let every cave dweller know that they will not sleep peacefully until they turn over Osama. Anybody who thinks this would fail has never witnessed an American parent trying to think when their teenage son is listening to rock music. True, the ACLU would consider this torture, but to pacify them we can offer to switch to easy listening or show tunes depending on the level of cooperation.

A clip of Osama and his fellow terrorists plotting strategy and justifying their lunacy could be dubbed over with Santa Esmeralda doing his remake of a classic 1960s song by “The Animals (how appropriate).” “I’m just a soul, whose intentions are good…oh lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood.”

For those who like 1960s music, upon capturing Osama, we can have a hard rock remake of the classic song made famous by the Bobby Fuller Four. Osama is dragged away in chains (and a couple bullet holes in him leaving him alive but wounded) to the song, “I fought the law, and the law won.”

Captured homicide bombers will be forced to listen to Bon Jovi. “Better stand tall when they’re calling you out…don’t bend, don’t break, baby don’t back down. It’s my life…it’s now or never…I aint gonna live forever…I just want to live while I’m alive.”

1980s rock music would be a great choice because it represents the gaudiest of American culture. Long out of control hair, men wearing lipstick, high falsetto voices, reckless sex…it is every stereotype that causes the lunatics to hate us. The ACDC song “Moneytalks” could show Americans at our materialistic, imperialistic finest. “Tailored suits…chauffeured cars…fine hotels…and big cigars…up for grabs…up for a price…where the red hot girls keep on dancing through the night…Come on, come on, love me for the money…come on, come on, listen to the moneytalks.”

Imagine how humiliating it would be for the Al Queda murderers if right after we captured Osama, General Tommy Petraeus had his feet on a coffee table lighting up a big, fat stogie. Some may think this is based on the Will Smith movie “Independence Day,” but it is actually reflected in Alberto Fujimori, the Japanese former President of Peru. After some leftist rebels took hostages, he did not negotiate. He had his men storm in, killed all the rebels, and saved almost every hostage. He was criticized for his post victory machismo. He was right.

Fujimori did not negotiate. Neither did Ariel Sharon, the bulldozer. Neither did Vladimir Putin when terrorists took over a school. Neither did Margaret Thatcher when dealing with the Falklands. Neither did George W. Bush when 9/11 happened. The time to negotiate is when your enemy is on his knees and his face is bleeding.

If only the media, especially Hollywood, could understand that most Americans love America, and understand that we are the good guys. We feed, clothe, protect and defend the world. We bring God’s gift of freedom and liberty to places that have never had it.

This is not done through kumbaya or love trains. It is done through blood, sweat and tears. It is not pretty, but it is noble, decent and right.

In the final firefight, as Asia’s “Heat of the moment,” and Europe’s “The Final Countdown,” blare loudly, the troops kick in the door, and ask Bin Laden if he believes in his warped, bastardized version of Allah that justifies 9/11. When he says yes, we reply “Good, because you’re about to meet him.”

Def Leppard’s “Rocket,” Guns n Roses’s, “Welcome to the Jungle,” and Aerosmith’s “The other side,” are used to break his will. We then make sure every camera is on Bin Laden’s terrified weakening excuse for a soul. Just before two bullets are put in his heart, Golden Earring’s “Twilight Zone,” plays loudly.

“You will come to know…when the bullet hits the bone. You will come to know…when the bullet hits the bone.”

As the credits roll, Metallica’s “Enter Sandman,” plays. “Exit light, enter night, grain of sand, off to never never land.” The Rolling Stones would end the credits with either “Sympathy for the Devil,” or “Paint it Black.”

9/11 will be avenged against everyone who either commits, supports or harbors terrorists in any way, shape or form. For those who hate America…bring it on. For those who love America…Help make this Pro-American movie. Bring on the 1980s rock music.

I applaud those who “get it.” For those who do not, “You’ll come to know…when the bullet hits the bone.”

eric

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 14th, 2007 at 2:35 pm and is filed under MUSIC, POLITICS. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.