Baseball season began several days ago, and I am heartsick to say that there does not seem to be any pending strike on the horizon. 162 games per team will add another year of colossal boredom to my home until September. Lord I hate baseball.
I expressed my disgust last year that these games were being played, and nothing has changed. In fact, even writing this column pains me. I think I will steal from my sentiments last year.
https://tygrrrrexpress.com/2007/03/glaciers-comas-and-baseball/
I had only been blogging for 5 days, but over a year later I still cannot figure out what it will take to cancel this game.
So here are my observations of baseball for 2008.
Joe Torre might be the most boring individual on Earth. Listening to him on Letterman the other night was enough to make me catatonic. He is boring by baseball standards, and that is pretty dull. Nevertheless, I did not like how the Yankees treated him. Therefore, I hope the Dodgers win it all just to spite George Steinbrenner.
The temper tantrums are not what they used to be. Dallas Green, Billy Martin and Ear Weaver were awesome. Hal McRae’s tirade was a good one. Today’s players are supposedly bulked up on steroids, and yet they can’t even get a good rage going in the form of a home plate temper tantrum.
The Atlanta Brave’s should stop calling themselves America’s Team until Ted Turner fires himself. Ted is in love with the United Nations, despite the fact that not one nation helped the team win any championships during their 15 year reign, of which 14 of those years ended in disappointment.
The Yankees remain the evil empire of baseball, but the Red Sox winning twice in the last few years does not make them worth watching. It’s not their fault. The sport itself is just dreadful.
Spitting is expected to increase by about 20%, scratching by about 30%, and “chaw” usage will be the second most abused product behind steroids.
The Star Spangled Banner will on many occasions become the Star Mangled Banner. This will be due to drunken off key celebrities, and words that are not always sensible. The Toronto Blue Jays will insist on playing whatever the heck their national anthem is, despite the fact that most of the Toronto players are probably Dominican.
There will be news about the democrats running for President on some nights, rendering baseball not the most useless television spectacle on those evenings.
Sure, Bill Murray will do a funny routine about why the Chicago Cubs will finally win it all, but even that will wear thin when the 100th anniversary of their 1908 triumph goes by with a shocking result of waiting until next year.
In 2009, a new President will throw out the first pitch. McCain has one bad arm, yet I am sure he will get it done. Besides, who wants the democrat? They probably throw like a girl, unless they elect Hillary. Then again, baseball is not bowling.
So short of some fabulous bench clearing brawls in the same game as head first slides into discombobulated catchers, very little is expected this year. Somebody will ground into a 4-6-3 double play, which is completely different from a 6-4-3 double play, which for some reason matters to someone somewhere.
Unlike other sports where spectators running onto the field get decked by players, the chances of a naked Morgana getting belted by a juiced up outfielder is remote.
5 months to go until football season starts. Blah.
eric
So what’s your opinion of the AFL?
God bless Charlton Heston.
Yes, baseball is boring as hell to watch. And I have always felt that way since the first and only game I ever went to 40 years ago.
But wouldnt it be cool if the basemen actually had to defend the bases as if they were goals ?
Baseball is a thinking man’s game a game of subtleties where mere athleticism does not make you succeed. It is rather a game of skill.
The list of players who were mediocre or worse in baseball but stars in the NFL or NBA is large (Michael Jordan, Deion Sanders, Danny Ainge, Bo Jackson to name a few). Thist going the other way is pretty non-existent.
In the NFL coaches were able to take a mediocre college basketball player who never played a down of football (James McDonald) and a track star who never played a down of football (Renaldo Nehemiah) and make them decent though not great NFL players.
Baseball is also the only major sport in which you cannot run out the clock to win. What is more ridiculous than the key offensive player kneeling down to end the game or a bunch of guys playing keep away with a basketball.
parrothead.
This is a friendly question.
If mere athleticism does not make you succeed in baseball then why are all these guys bulking up and getting popped with steroids or performance enhancers ?
I’m not a huge football fan either but I do know that more if not just as much intellect goes into football strategies and plays as does baseball.
And I do agree that it is a thinking mans game.
It has helped me to focus on a variety of issues as much as quite night by the ocean.
:-)
I turned off on baseball, and I’ll never forget it, in 1981. Never looked back. Baseball had the chance to make itself competitive and continue it’s old “America’s Passtime” status, but the owners blew it, and the NFL and NBA surpassed MLB. The NFL and, to only a slightly lesser extent the MLB, owners realized that without competition, sports are boring, that the better all the teams are, the more profits all the teams can make. Competition sells. That’s what sports are about.
Our fine host wrote a perfect piece on this not long ago: http://blacktygrrrr.wordpress.com/2007/09/15/successful-socialism/
And that from a consummate laizzez-faire capitalist!
I think both our host and I agree that baseball is just boring. The only things I personally can think of that would make it more interesting would be some kind of NFL business model, or removing the trust exemption for once and for all. Let the free market of sports do their magic. It’s time the government and baseball went their separate ways.
Parrothead,
American Football, with its combination of chessboard strategy, nuanced and temporally finite rules, and pure physicality is the best sport in the world. Football (and to a lesser extent basketball) is one of few sports requiring a huge variety of physical types to play the game. On a football team, you’ll see guys that are literally 5’7″ 160, to guys 6’7″ 350, and beyond. Everybody type, every skill set, every ability. And a huge variety within many of the several dozen position specialties.
Baseball has much more limited requisite skill and ability sets. Were it not for the differences in conference rules, it’d be even more limited. The subjective nature of the batters box isn’t even enough to compensate for tall guys against the taller fast pitchers of today, for example. So even if we had a universal pitch hitter rule, all we’d do is shrink and specify the skill sets all the more.
And baseball’s use of the farm system is pathetic. Just really ethically, socially, morally reprehensible. Just terrible. What century is this???
JMJ
So baseball pays its minor leaguers (albeit low wages) while the NFL expects its minor leaguers (the NCAA) to play for free or get disqualified for taking a free sandwich. I am sorry but while minor league life is rough (and I worked for a minor league team for a couple of years). They are still getting paid to play a game.
As far as steroids go, the problem is just as bad in the NFL. Witness Rodney Harrison’s confession earlier this year. In fact one of the earliest high profile steroid abusers was Lyle Alzado of the Broncos and Raiders. Have you noticed that many who have been caught using steroids have not been role players trying to hold on in the major leagues as opposed to true superstars.
You find very few non kickers in the NFL at 5’7 160. You’ll find a lot more of those smaller guys in MLB. Furthermore size is not any indication of success in baseball. Lots of big guys have been duds and small guys superstars.
Football is far more specialized than baseball with each player only using a limited set of skills whereas in baseball most players have to play both offense and defense. Pitchers are the exception rather than the rule.
As far as the amount of intellect, while the strategies can be intricate in football mostly that lies in the hands of the coaching staff. There are only a few positions on the field that deal with the intricacies, although most QBs don’t call their own plays anymore. In baseball there are far more analysis that goes into each players role both on offense and defense.
This also does not take into account the fact that baseball is a 162 game schedule played virtually everyday, requiring a complete team. Imagine a football team that could only use its starting QB 20% of the time. Over time the best teams rise to the top, unlike football where a few hot games or a few bad games can make a whole season. Or the concept of one and done in the playoffs allows a weaker team in one lucky game to knock off a better opponent. That hardly seems a good way to determine a true champion.
Finally name one other skill in sports where success 30% of the time makes you among the elite like hitting a baseball.
As far as the competitiveness in baseball in the last 7 years only one team has won the championship more than once and only 2 have been to the championship round more than once. No team more than twice. So there have been 12 of a possible 14 teams. As you go further down the playoffs the ratio is similar. In the NFL the Patriots alone in the same time span have been to 4 super bowls and won 3 so don’t tell me there is more parity in the NFL than in Baseball
If it weren’t for steroids and my personal connection with the McGuires, I would not have paid one second of attention to MLB since my childhood.
I say they just state that steroids are legal for any player over 32 and institute a thorough screening program to make sure no one is doing that TJ crap. It’s not like baseball has remained the same from era to era. Instead of the “juiced ball” era, let’s embrace the “juiced ballplayer” era.
Well Parrot.
I never meant to imply that football or baseball playeres take more enhancement than one or the other.
I just wanted to point out that physical capabilities are definatly demanded for some reason in baseball or these guys wouldnt be juicing.
If you ask me a few more baseball role players have actually been approached on this than others. or maybe we can just chalk that up to the media.
Cuz I dont watch much baseball.
But I do have to admitt. baseball is a lot more fun to play than it is to watch.
I’m not much of a baseball fan myself.
I’m gonna blogroll you. Mind reciprocating?
I am not saying that physical capabilities don’t help but they are not the primary variable for success.
Baseball is more fun to watch in person than on TV much as the NFL is more fun to watch on TV than live….Is it really all that exciting to watch the brand of football that wins Super Bowls (Giants, Bears, Raven, even Patriots) which is a strong defense and a plodding offense mostly running the ball a few yards at a time. I will admit I do like football (although I prefer college to pro) but I just think baseball is a much more interesting enjoyable sport.
The NFL was more interesting in the Raider glory days when you never knew which Raider player might pull a knife or plant cocaine on an unsuspecting writer. :-) Now watching the Raiders play is interesting for the same reason people slow down when there is an accident on the other side of the road. (Sorry Eric it was there I had to use it :-))
After being in the metal refinishing business ( chroming, anodizing, polishing etc..) for over 18 years now I became exposed to a lot of the motor sports and always had comp tickets for all the events in Cal. Drag boats, and all the auto races. Nothing has surpassed the thrill when that 10,000 horsepower engine rattles you to the bone and takes off from 0 to 350 MPH in 3 seconds. Or watching boats fly by at 200 mph.
You guys can have your baseball and football.
If I’m looking for true physical accomplishment I’ll watch gymnastics.
Parrothead,
“So baseball pays its minor leaguers (albeit low wages) while the NFL expects its minor leaguers (the NCAA) to play for free or get disqualified for taking a free sandwich. I am sorry but while minor league life is rough (and I worked for a minor league team for a couple of years). They are still getting paid to play a game.”
Yeah, and most of them will never make it and none of them will even get an education out of it and no educational institution will benefit. That’s really great Parrot.
“As far as the amount of intellect, while the strategies can be intricate in football mostly that lies in the hands of the coaching staff. There are only a few positions on the field that deal with the intricacies, although most QBs don’t call their own plays anymore. In baseball there are far more analysis that goes into each players role both on offense and defense.”
There is no position in any sport that requires more brains than NFL offensive lineman. Next would be Strong safety. Next would be quarterback.
The only strategies a baseball player considers is whether to walk or strike, or pitch or move in or out, up or down, left or right per the one player at the plate and perhaps those already on base. It’s tricky, but doesn not nearly rise to the level of startegic complexity that is the game of football.
“This also does not take into account the fact that baseball is a 162 game schedule played virtually everyday, requiring a complete team. Imagine a football team that could only use its starting QB 20% of the time. Over time the best teams rise to the top, unlike football where a few hot games or a few bad games can make a whole season. Or the concept of one and done in the playoffs allows a weaker team in one lucky game to knock off a better opponent. That hardly seems a good way to determine a true champion.”
This is because baseball is not a terribly athletic, let alone physical, sport. The skill sets are so narrow, that luck plays a more important part in baseball than almost any other sport with the possible exception of hockey. Even with the spending disparities, the luck factor entres otherwise poor teams on paper every year in the playoffs.
“Finally name one other skill in sports where success 30% of the time makes you among the elite like hitting a baseball.”
That’s about the ratio of successful forward plays required for a football team to move to stop the progress of the ball.
Chris,
“I say they just state that steroids are legal for any player over 32 and institute a thorough screening program to make sure no one is doing that TJ crap. It’s not like baseball has remained the same from era to era. Instead of the “juiced ball” era, let’s embrace the “juiced ballplayer” era.”
Disgusting. Why not just tell your kids it’s okay to lie, cheat, steal, and shoot themselves with HGH everyday! What the h#ll kind of example do you want to set???
JMJ
Jersey,
Last I checked, kids don’t play MLB, NFL or NBA. There’s way more stuff about the example set by professional athletes that damages kids than steroid use. What about the example of putting your entire life at risk by playing a sport that very well might leave you crippled. I never played past high school, but I’m still paying for the ten years I did play.
More importantly, if your kids’ best example is a professional athlete, you suck as a parent.
What kind of example do we set for our kids when everyone gets a trophy no, matter what ?
As a parent I wouldnt mind too much if my son had a professional athlete to look up to as an example of determination, sportsmanship, humbleness and ability to approach and defeat adversity. Be it physical or social hurdles.
Unfortunatly, today he gets more inspiration from watching the special olympics.
Chris, I’m sorry, but I find your position ethically abhorant. Teaching kids tat cheating is okay is sleazy at best.
Micky, I have no problem with competitive sports, played them myself (and have the multiple injuries to prove it), and hope one day a child of mine will enjoy them (and take their knocks too – it’s good for ’em). Atheletes drugging themselves for a competitive advantage sicken me. They should be all thrown out. And MLB is a disgusting joke. They have the trust exemption, the congress should either drop it, or step in and clean it up. I have no problem with the sport of baseball, but to h#ll with the boring, useless MLB. I’d rather watch Professional Groundhog Farting.
Wanna watch a fun baseball game, catch the Little League World Series on ESPN. Now that’s fun. At least they’re not all hopped up on goofballs.
JMJ
How is it teaching kids that cheating is okay?
Most conservatives would squint to say the least at my choice of sports growing up till now.
My family being Danish I was steered towards soccer, gymnastics, high diving and chinese kempo for simple self preservation.
I was really very good at all but had a hard time adapting socially due to the lack of American enthusiasem for these sports.
You have to remember that this was in the 60s and earl 70s when almost no one played soccer and gymnastics was sometimes percieved as gay. When in all actuallity the muscle mass devolved by a gymnast is twice as powerful per square inch that that of any other sport. I out classed anyone in the middle school leagues and was sent to play with the senior high school league in my district.
We achieved the state championship and were to go to Tahiti for the south pacific championships but I was not allowed because I was not actualy a student of the school. But as front center I was allowed to help then get to that point, go figure.
We had no dope in those days and it was simply all about who trained the hardest naturally and had the best determination and percerverance.
My father enrolled me in Chinese kempo, the grandaddy of ALL martial arts.
This not only probably saved my life on a few occasions but it taught me dicipline and confidence, pride and respect on a level that you rarely find in any sport these days.
Chris,
“How is it teaching kids that cheating is okay?”
That’s what I’m asking you.
Micky,
“My family being Danish I was steered towards soccer, gymnastics, high diving and chinese kempo for simple self preservation.”
I think that’s pretty cool, man.
Soccer is an extremely physical sport. One must have phenomenal endurance, agility, speed, vision, wits and foresight to play that game. That all said, being a typical American shmuck, I haven’t been exposed to much soccer, save for when I played when I was very young. I do understand its appeal, it’s just that I find I can only follow one or two sports at a time and football is just so cool. I guess C-Span is my other favorite sport. Now, where’s my pills?… LOL!!!
Gymnastics, a key to football as I’m sure you know, are amazing. I loved the old Olympic games when they used to show that mat stuff instead of todays Backwards Hip-Hop Skateboard Polevaulting Skeet. I have a close friend who was a gymnast when he was young – albeit a 6’2″ big ol’ hairy dude! Try that one for size! Very impressive though. I was just a tad smaller than him, and my center of gravity was so off I’d get sea-sick five seconds on the parallels. You have to have great body control for that. Great stuff. Very healthy. It’s a shame I can’t go 5 minutes without cracking a joke in public. Ya’ just can’t take me anywhere – let alone a martial arts class.
Kempo is extremely impressive. I did a couple years of popular karate and couldn’t keep the disipline. Seems to be a running theme with me. Reminds me of football too though! The disipline of the linemen following those stringent codes whilst besting one another with all that force. The balance in every way is just amazing. All you guys really impress me.
I played ball on and off for years, depending on my physical ability at any given time. Getting back into full contact football for laughs in my mid-twenties was a mistake. Football is a dangerous sport and we do have to be aware of our limits.
We need to tell our kids that when your body shows you its limits it is showing you that for a reason. You do not bypass what your body is showing you with drugs – at least not dangerous drugs. A painkiller here, and steroid on a bone there, that’s one thing. HGH up the wazoo in an otherwise healthy person is a bridge too far.
JMJ
You’re not asking me anything, Jersey. You’re just parroting what you think is the proper ethical position.
Tell me precisely how allowing a well regulated performance enhancing substance program is teaching kids that cheating is okay.
Screw the mat. Dont go getting all sensitive on me but that exercise is gay. I was doing rings and parallel bars. The trampoline worked well with the high diving.
But the closer I got to 21 the harder it became to move a 200 lb ass around with any precision.
Kempo is not that detailed and intricate as most martial arts. ts all about kicking a$$ no matter what. It draws a thin line between warding off and crippling your opponent.
The work outs are brutal.
Against other martial arts the best comparison would like putting a rabid 250 mongoose with no scruples up against a worm.
Anyway, at 51 years old with two slipped discs and 4 pinched nerves I’m reduced to doing laps in the pool, walking the dogs and blogging.
The last game of football I played (tackle, no gear) was about 10 years ago and I broke my collar bone.
Mr. Naron,
“You’re not asking me anything, Jersey. You’re just parroting what you think is the proper ethical position.”
I don’t mind parroting an ethical position.
“Tell me precisely how allowing a well regulated performance enhancing substance program is teaching kids that cheating is okay.”
It’s a good thing to see reasonable men agree that some things in this big bad universe really should be “well-regulated,” as some note about the Second Amendment. Our Founding Fathers thought that way. Regulate way, Chris!
Micky,
Yeah, my brother took that injury. Nasty. You were way too old to be playing without pads – let alone getting hit without them. I mean, I suppose I could play now, but my injuries don’t really change my play. I just can’t QB or WR anymore, and my endurance isn’t what it was 10 or 20 years ago. But I can still play – unless of course someone like Jerome Bettis was running at me, then I’d just hope for a flop tackle…
Guys, we need a new interactive passtime. I think if we just find a way to make golf more violent we could invent the next great popular sport. ;)
JMJ
I love baseball, and the players are sissies. When they charge the mound, one sticks his head up in the air and catfights a wimpy knuckle, and the other shoves his head between his shoulders and looses a roundhouse, and then they hug each other until all the other sissies grab each other. God forbid any of them knew how to fight. It takes tremendous skill to hit a ball that may be 100 mph and rising, 90 and dropping, or 70 and floating… and one has a split second to determine whether to continue to second or hold, to throw home or to second, or dive for the big one or save two… efinitely a thinking man’s game. As for baseball, as any sport, “they” are always looking for “raw talent” – so regardless of your numbers – wins, RBI, ERA, on base percentage, average… scouting comes down to arm, speed, longball.
Nice side step, Jersey. Do you ever answer a question?
Roundball season, that is what I call it. Basketball weaves into baseball…
I do a lot of trap shooting this time of year, and yes Eric. Fly fishing! :)
“Tell me precisely how allowing a well regulated performance enhancing substance program is teaching kids that cheating is okay.”
Well regulated. What an interesting qualifier. Well, well, well.
Do you have a “well regulated” “enhancing substance” in mind?
“Nice side step, Jersey. Do you ever answer a question?”
Only vertical questions! LOL! (Get it? “Side step?” Vertical? It’s hard to joke on the web.)
JMJ
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