Before addressing the main event today, I have a quick sports update.
My coed touch football league started up yesterday, and I lived to tell about it. Given my relationship with the Chicago Cannonball, the ability to get the most out of touch football is diminished. Nevertheless, while the touching part is lessened, the football part is still awesome. In the same way that a car that has been in the garage for years should not immediately be taken on the highway, perhaps I bit off more than I could chew by playing football. It is not as easy as it is playing the video game version, or even better, watching other people play it on NFL Sundays.
Nevertheless, despite the fact that my team lost the opening game 24-0, I had a reception for a short gain. I redeemed myself in the second half of the doubleheader. Leading 28-21, and needing a score to ice the game, the quarterback on my team threw a quick rifle pass to me over the middle. Had I caught it cleanly, it would have been a short gain. However, since I bobbled it, and then caught it, the guy who touched me did so before I had actually caught it. I plucked my own bobble out of the air, split the defenders, and raced towards the end zone.
Five years ago I would have scored. Sadly enough, I had to settle for a long gain near the goal line. It did set up the winning touchdown and a 35-21 win. A potential touchdown bomb to me was underthrown and intercepted, although I did touch the guy down before he could run it back.
Anyway, heroes can be found anywhere, and I can only get better as the weeks go by. Perhaps.
Anyway, there is a world beyond me, an all powerful world. It is in that spirit that I bring a pair of mystical aspects of Judaism. The first is the Zohar, which has been educating Jews for centuries. The second is the Zohan, the new Adam Sandler movie. I would not mess with either. The Zohar is quite serious. The Zohan is hysterically funny.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zohar
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zohan
The Zohar has been around since the 13th century.
The Zohan has been around since Friday, June 6th, 2008.
The Zohar could be analyzed over the course of an entire life, and never be completely understood.
The Zohan, aka Adam Sandler, could be analyzed over the course of an entire life, and never be completely understood.
The Zohar has had a profound influence on Christian mysticism.
The Zohan has had a profound effect on a Palestinian cab driver played by Rob Schneider.
The Zohar has featured commentary by Gershon Scholem.
The Zohan featured John Turturro.
The Zohar could originally only be studied by men at least 40 years old.
The Zohan is best watched by men under 40 years old, especially those between 18 and 19.
The Zohar is often read my men over 90 years old.
The Zohan can be watched in about 90 minutes.
The Zohar is best studied over a glass of wine.
The Zohan is best enjoyed with Hummus.
The Zohar contains many incomprehensible words written in Aramaic.
The Zohan contains many incomprehensible words spoken in Israeli Heblish.
The Zohar is not complete until one has read the additions.
The Zohan is not complete without the closing credits.
The Zohar makes intelligent people scratch their heads in disbelief.
The Zohan makes intelligent people scratch their heads in disbelief.
The Zohar is seen by non-Orthodox Jews as apocrypha.
The Zohan as played by Adam Sandler is proof of the apocalypse.
The Zohar states that Kabbalah is never actually revealed.
The Zohan, aka Adam Sandler, reveals way too much.
The Zohan was a collaborative effort, with the main writer being Moses De Leon.
The Zohan was a collaborative effort, with the main writer being Adam Sandler.
Zohar is Hebrew for splendor or radiance.
Zohan is Hebrew for Zohan.
The Zohar is serious. There is nothing funny about it.
The Zohan is hysterically funny. Serious intellects need not apply.
The Zohar can lead to spiritual meaning, which makes for happy guys.
The Zohan can lead to other DVD rentals, such as the Waterboy and Happy Gilmore.
The Zohar requires an attention span I do not possess, rendering me sleepy.
The Zohan used up my attention span, getting me home at 1am, rendering me sleepy.
I would like to thank the creators of this brilliant work. Every once in awhile something comes along that can change an outlook forever, and give a man a new perspective.
Yes, the Zohan is that important. I suppose the Zohar is not bad either.
eric
Rob Schneider was over here filming 51 first Dates with Sandler and they had a candid shot of Schneider peeing in the bushs during a break.
The two seem to get along really well, its no surprise this movie is worth it for what its supposed to be.
I can watch a stupid movie and enjoy it realizing that its supposed to be stupid.
Sounds like I should get on this one, the theatres only a couple blocks away
I know some people say he’s a bit shticky, but I love all Adam Sandler’s stuff. I’m really looking forward to this one. It should be his best to date from the reviews I’ve read.
JMJ
Not the man you were five years ago? And yet you still managed to land me… imagine who you could have ended up with five years ago!
As far as the touching, I certainly understand your need to comparison shop. Your claims that I have the loveliest yummy bouncies (or I did as of Saturday) are rather meaningless when you have a sample size of one.
And let’s be honest… the football thing this year is mostly your hope that your athletic, significantly younger girlfriend won’t completely immasculate you when she drags your tired behind onto the tennis court. There is no sport in whomping in an old man on his home turf.
Yea, but I’ll bet he beats you in a game of tackle
football
Ouch! Hang in there, Eric! LOL!
I kept playing full contact padless football with college kids til I was in my Mid-Twenties – that’s when the neck finally gave out. Ever get a freezer up the neck? You know how it lasts abouyt five minutes or so and then gradually fades into an ache and then goes away? Try having a freezer last an entire couple of days! Between my neck fractures, busted left hand, multiple hernias (going on number six and seven now), and a liver, lungs and stomache that make the Axis of Evil look like Three Blind Mice, my playing days are long behind me.
A couple of teenage neighbor kids asked me to join a pick-up BBall game the other day. I had to decline. I’m tired of embarrassing myself. God, I hate getting old.
JMJ
He he.
My 13 year old boy flipped me off yesterday, he thoght it was funny.
He saw the look on my face and started running away.
You should of seen the look on his face when I caught him.
Jersey.
Ya just cant let em get too much of a head start.
Kinda like terrorists I guess.
Unruly children ?
Oh man, I crack myself up.