Why Tim Tebow Must Fail

Today at 1pm I am speaking at the California College Republican State Convention held at USC. Then I drive to San Diego for 5 events in 5 days. 4 chapters of the Republican Women’s Federated (Intermountain, Golden Triangle, Carlsbad, Delmar Seacoast) are preceded by a Saturday Night in Downtown San Diego as the opening act for Evan Sayet’s Right to Laugh series.


Yet this weekend is about the NFL Draft, and the big story is Tim Tebow.

I will say it now.

Tim Tebow must fail.



I know, I am a heartless b@stard. Deal with it.

I have been one of Tebow’s biggest defenders.

For one thing, he is a good kid. He is polite, obeys the law, and seems to be a good corporate citizen. He is the last person anyone would expect to be caught in strip clubs or secret dog fighting rings.

Yet so many people have wanted this kid to fail. One main reason for this is because he is a devout Christian.

While other kids are out getting involved in shootings, Tebow is in church. He claims to be practicing abstinence with his girlfriend, because he wants to wait until he gets married to have sex. How many star football quarterbacks would make that sacrifice? Not many.

Many people in America see all Christians as intolerant zealots. They call Christians intolerant while lashing out at these people in a most uncivilized manner. An entire faith gets blamed for a precious few bad apples that betray the faith.

Tim Tebow wears “John: 316” in black under his eyes. Yet a proud display of his faith is not the same as ramming his beliefs down everybody else’s throats.

Florida won back to back national championships with Tebow at the helm. His quest for a third straight championship went up in flames when Florida got belted by Alabama in the title bowl game. Alabama was the better team on that day, but Tebow was still a great college player.

Yet outside of Alabama, it was troubling seeing so many people gleeful at his failing. Many people wanted to see him humbled. The problem with this line of thought is that he already was humble. He told his teammates before every game that he did not want to let them down.

So he cried after the loss. So what? Football is an emotional game, and emotions make us human.

Some people do not like the fact that he seems too perfect. Good looks, success, happiness…people are envious. They want him to have a major scandal.

Is society so backward that being a good person is a bad thing?

Tim Tebow may not have “street cred,” but most mothers would be proud to have their daughter marry him.

Despite his clean living and religious life, the NFL is about winning. The big question surrounding Tebow is if he can play professional football as well as he did in college. He answered questions about his mechanics by changing them. He had his supporters and his detractors.

I wanted Tim Tebow to succeed. I wanted to see a good human being come out on top, a nice guy finish first.

Unfortunately, I now have to root for Tebow to fail.

He is no longer a good kid. He is an infidel, the personification of all that is evil in this world.

He is now a member of the Denver Broncos.

From a football standpoint, Denver is the worst city in America. It is an orange and blue cesspool that is the enemy of the Silver and Black of the Oakland Raiders.

It is not fair. The Raiders tried to get John Elway, but he was traded to Denver instead.

The Raiders were a victim of their own success. They were so good for so long that they never got to draft a #1 quarterback. We laughed as the Chargers picked Ryan Leaf. The Chargers did have Dan Fouts, and The Broncos had Elway. The Chiefs never had the all world leader. Len Dawson was not in the Elway league.

The Raiders finally thought they had their all world leader in JaMarcus Russell. He is not as big a bust as Ryan Leaf, but he is on the verge of coming close.

Meanwhile the Broncos had Jake Plummer and Jay Cutler. The Raiders did have Darryl Lamonica, Ken Stabler, Jim Plunkett, Kerry Collins, and Rich Gannon. Yet none of them were the #1 pick that lasted 15 years.

I wanted Jay Cutler. The Raiders bypassed him and the Broncos drafted him, where he would throw for thousands of yards.

The thought of Tebow throwing obscene amounts of touchdowns in 20 games over the Raiders until 2020 makes me ill to the point where I would be better off blind rather than have 20/20 vision.

Sorry, Tim. You seem like a nice guy, but you are the wrong color. Yes, when it comes to football, I discriminate based on color. I love silver and black, and detest blue and orange.

Tim Tebow needs to follow Jay Cutler’s example and find a reason to leave town. Now I can root for Cutler again since he is out of Denver.

As long as Tebow belongs to the evil ones, he needs to be defeated.

It is not personal. It is football.

He needs to fail.

The Oakland Raiders have a new linebacker named Rolando McClain. Hopefully he will repeatedly belt Tebow to the ground when it counts.

Welcome to the NFL, Tebow. A Silver and Black avalanche on defense awaits you.


3 Responses to “Why Tim Tebow Must Fail”

  1. I don’t know anyone who wants Tebow to fail, let alone to fail for his Christianity. I think some people believe there’s a curse on Gator QBs. I don’t believe in curses. Tebow’s problems are 1: his mechanics and 2: he somes out of the consummate college-style system, the Gators. I know some people, including me, thought that ad he did with his mother was kind of stupid and irresponible, but he’s juts a kid. I don’t blame him for that. I hope he does well. One thing you have to give him is that he’s very exciting top watch – if you don’t mind your heart in your throat on every play. If he’s good, he could be great. If he never adjusts to the NFL, well, then that’s more fodder for the Gaotrs Curse of the Quarterbacks.


  2. parrothead says:

    Funny in college I wanted him to fail because he was a Gator. Now I want him to succeed because he is a Bronco. As I see it he went to a division where he can hopefully repeatedly defeat the incarnation of evil (the Raiders). What other team active recruit dirty players (George Atkinson, Jack Tatum), criminals (remember Warren Wells being let out of Jian on Sundays to play for them) and of course QBs who plant cocaine in reporters cars then call the Alabama cops because they don’t like what was written about them (Ken Stabler and Bob Padecky of the Sacramento Bee).

    The Raiders will not succeed until AL Davis sells them. Whatever good football sense he once had is gone. You could see the downhill spiral start with his treatment of Marcus Allen and it has not gotten any better.

  3. Yeah, Parrot, as much as all us football fans adore ol’ crazy Al, his skills as a team manager just aren’t what they used to be, and it seems the times have pased him by. As you recalled, the kinds of players Davis used to bring in don’t even exist any more, and if they did, Goodell would throw them out of the league immediately. I’ll say this, though – this was the first draft in years in which I thought the Raiders made good solid rational picks, rather than crazy over-the-top gambles.


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