Every mere mortal, which consists of people not named Barack Obama, need to get their collective ears checked.
Since Barack Obama is perfect, everybody else needs to apologize for misunderstanding him.
In 2008 we all mistakenly thought that he ran for president on the slogan “Change we can believe in.”
I never knew who this “we” was because I never believed him. I thought he was a likable fellow who was full of (redacted). He was a typical liberal politician.
After starting his presidency by announcing that he had inherited a mess, it was only a matter of time before he would stop blaming his predecessor, roll up his sleeves, and get to work.
Now it seems that a matter of time is a sliding scale itself.
On his fiftieth birthday, he defended his results, or as those not living in fantasyland call them, lack of results.
“When I said ‘change we can believe in’ I didn‘t say ’change we can believe in tomorrow.’ Not change we can believe in next week. We knew this was going to take time because we’ve got this big, messy, tough democracy.”
Did he not know that the system the Founding Fathers set in place still existed when he took office? Did he think he was taking over Syria?
This is the same man who one month ago laughed off a failure to create jobs by saying that “Shovel-ready was not as … uh .. shovel-ready as we expected.”
Not since Bill Clinton said “it depends what the meaning of ‘is’ is” has a man been so graceful in eluding the exposure of his hollow emptiness.
The world misheard Mr. Obama. He did not speak about change WE can believe in.
He actually said that everything was about change HE can believe in.
This man is the modern day Streetcar Named Desire. He is every bit as feminine as Blanche, who never does come to accept that the old ways that failed are gone forever. Although the entire readership knows that Blanche is a liar, in her world she is telling the truth simply because she truly believes it.
Like Stanley Kowalski, Americans are just ugly commoners not sophisticated enough to understand that everything Barack Obama says is true solely because he said it. Everything he does is brilliant because he does it. Every mistake is everybody else’s error.
When the president comes across as a clod by violating protocol in front of Queen Elizabeth, his defenders claim that protocol is obsolete and silly.
Protocol is a small matter, but governing is a large one.
When Mr. Obama failed in his first year, it was because he inherited a mess from Republicans.
When he failed in his second year, it was because the people were frustrated. He had near super-majorities in both houses of congress, but his boredom and disengagement from doing any real work was seen as “letting the process work itself out.”
After he lost congress, he continued to fail in his third year. This was blamed on a variety of people from the Koch Brothers to Grover Norquist, to Tea Party attendees. All of these are private citizens participating in the political process, and doing so legally. The left seemed peeved that the conservative Kowalskis were out of their cages, much less allowed outside during the daylight to play a role in society. How dare these peasants have a voice!
We now know that while Mr. Obama looked new from a physical standpoint, his ideas were the same tired, old, failed ideas espoused by Michael Dukakis, Al Gore, and John Kerry. Guilty white liberals found him fascinating, but to the rest, he was quite boring indeed.
The financial markets have no idea what color his skin is. The NASDAQ cannot fathom that his melanin content would forever alter liberalism. In return, Mr. Obama has no idea what a NASDAQ is because it has nothing to do with green collar jobs. The stock exchanges are comprised of what in today’s world would be called “companies.” Companies “do things.” The things they do is “produce stuff.” The stuff is either “goods” or “services.” This is lost on Mr. Obama, who tried to pat NASDAQ on the head like it was Sasha and Malia’s puppy. He knew best, and would take care of everything despite not knowing how to do things, make stuff, or understand goods and services.
For these and so many other reasons, people need to stop criticizing Mr. Obama and seeing him as a liar. He truly does believe what he says. The fact that many of the seven billion global inhabitants are confused or underwhelmed by him is lost on him. They simply cannot grasp his greatness.
So from now on, we need to embrace change he can believe in. When his fourth year turns out to be a failure, he can then tell us that what he really meant to say was “Keynes we can believe in.”
When a reporter points out that Keynesian stimulus has totally failed and is at the heart of the current doldrums, he can say that he meant “range we can believe in.” The economy moves in a wide range, and no matter what part of the business cycle we are currently in from boom to bust, it is still within a range. Therefore, he is right and conservative critics are dunderheads.
Perhaps he can continue to claim he understands sports by saying that what he really said was “Grange we can believe in.” After all, “Galloping Ghost” Red Grange was one of the greatest Chicago Bears players in football history.
Maybe he meant “Change we can perceive in.” The problems are all in our mind. Everything is fine, if only Americans would realize that the economic misery inflicted by him on his watch is purely psychosomatic.
So as Barack Obama leads America down the path to ruination, the only thing left to do is find somebody to play “Taps.” Then again, why settle for just ordinary Taps when the spinal route is available. Barack Obama’s entire presidency is hollow slogans and empty platitudes that sound lofty but mean absolutely nothing. He is a caricature of himself, a post-modern satirist that understands neither the past, the present, the future, or the irony of his lack of understanding of virtually everything. He is the Spinal Tap President.
So in honor of his honor of all things himself, his 2012 reelection slogan should be taken from the Spinal Tap song “The Majesty of Rock.” It will be changed to “The Majesty of Barack.”
Get ready for the greatest empty Obama slogan since the one he uttered moments earlier while we were all tuning him out.
“The more it stays the same…the less it changes.”
Hey, it beats him mixing all of his slogans together in one ball of nothingness.
“Yes, I hope we can change.”
I agree with him. Yes, I hope we can change…leadership.
Firing Mr. Obama…now that is change we can believe in, even if it is not change he can believe in.
eric