Useless Sanctions Friday

Useless Sanctions Friday


Today is officially Useless Sanctions Friday.


Today I issued sanctions against my friends not in Florida. They are banned from partying in South Beach tonight. I am now declaring my sanctions effective and me all-powerful. In related news, Vladimir Putin is telling President Obama where he can stick his own worthless sanctions.


Tonight I am issuing Sanctions against South Beach Miami Spring Breakers, banning them from Mother Russia this winter.


No comment from Sweden on whether Putin’s killing everything in sight helps his chances of winning Nobel Peace Prize.


This concludes today’s report on useless, meaningless symbolic gestures that accomplish nothing. Back to Spring Break.




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