In Defizzle (Defense) of Snoop Doggy Dogg, or whatever he calls himself this week

As a general rule, if Al Sharpton is in favor of something, it is wise to oppose it. Al Sharpton is the black version of P.T. Barnum, with the exception that P.T. Barnum had an actual product to sell. Al Sharpton provides a circus, but not one kids should be taken to see.

Al Sharpton is now trying to declare war on Gangsta Rap. He claims to have always been against it, but then again when the camera is not on, he seems to have little interest beyond expanding anything besides his waistline, bankroll and ego. I can only expect him at some point to discover that heart disease is a problem in the black community, which he will announce with great fanfare at a ceremony where he claims that pork producers are racist because the white man forces him to eat bacon. Who knew, the top agenda of the Ku Klux Klan is killing black men by raising their cholesterol.

Ludicrous? Not as much as blaming Ludacris (whose music I am admittedly unfamiliar with). When I was a teenager, my late grandfather was worried I would be a drug dealer because I had long hair. The rock groups at that time all had long hair, and I still like Poison and Great White among others. I suspect that my having long hair was less a fashion statement, and more a byproduct of laziness. Nevertheless, I finally explained to my grandfather that “I have long hair. I do not do or sell drugs. The hair does not make you sell the drugs.”

Gangsta Rappers do not cause the conditions that they rap about. They are an effect of those conditions. While many young black men do turn to crime, there is no evidence that the music forces them to do this. Ozzy Osbourne did not force people to shoot themselves. Twisted Sister and Kiss did not make people worship Satan. When rednecks in Texas dragged James Byrd, and then brutally murdered him, nobody of any serious intelligence blamed country music for the killing. Country music does not make somebody a redneck.

I like Country music and Gangsta Rap, and I have never shot a police officer, lynched a man, or hit an ex-girlfriend (although Chris Rock is right when he says that while he never hit one, he wanted to “shake the sh*t out of them” to get them to shut up).

There is not an absolute right to free speech. Hate speech should be condemned in the arena of public opinion. However, there is a large gap between material that is racist, antisemitic and hateful, and music that is merely “distasteful.” Before the current Gangsta Rappers, there was 2 Live Crew, led by Luther Campbell. While many found offense at songs such as “Me so horny,” and “Pop that Coochie,” nobody was forced to buy these albums. Parents had the right to ban their children from buying these albums. Other than that, doing nothing was the best option. 2 Live Crew was dead right when they put out “Banned in the USA,” a song with as much social and cultural signifcance as the song it was patterned from, Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA.”

The main objection is that Gangsta Rap songs refer to people as “n-word, “b*tches,” and “hos.” These rappers are not attacking specific women. They are not even attacking all women. They are attacking women who use guys for their money and power. These women come in all shapes and sizes. They are called golddiggers. The only men who have not been used by these women are poor men, because by definition golddiggers do not want poor men.

“With the Dogg Pound right behind me, and up in your b*tch, is where you might find me.  Shaking and waving that g-thing. She wants the guy with the biggest nuts, and guess what? He is I, and I am him.”

My lord, the absolute horror. A young man is bragging about the size of his genitals, and boasting of screwing his friend’s (or enemy’s) woman. Anyone who has ever been to summer camp…or anywhere where young boys congregate…knows that young boys and machismo are as natural as peanut butter and jelly, or as Al Bundy would say “alcohol and firearms.” Below is a transcript of boys turning into men.

Age 7–“My dad can beat up your dad.”

Age 14–“My blank is bigger than your blank.”

Age 21–“I get more girls than you, and they are hotter.”

Age 28–“I make more money, have a nicer car, and a bigger house than you.”

Age 35–“I have a bigger and better big screen tv than you.”

Whether genitals , houses, cars or tvs, it is a competition of inches, feet, meters, etc. If it is normal for guys to brag about their possessions, it is equally normal for women to brag about who is dating/married to/sleeping with the man with the best possessions. Then the men brag that they have those women because they have those possessions. This is as common as it is normal.

For the record, I am a white conservative republican, and I hold several views that are anathema to young black men. Their response is to not care, because being a white conservative invalidates my opinion. I believe in dialogue because someone who disagrees with me 90% of the time might staunchly be by my side the 10% of the time we agree. Black America has some severe problems, some of which are being addressed (black on black crime, drugs, violence, and failing schools with poor textbooks) and some of which are not sexy enough to be addressed (heart disease).

It is because of those serious issues that not one minute should be spent worrying about what singers with funny hair, funny teeth, or funny linguistics skills involving strange use of the letter “z”, have to say. Snoop Doggy Dogg, or whatever he calls himself, is harmless (in terms of his music). I like his music, and I have dealt with women who wanted to get to know me because I live in a fancy neighborhood. His attacking of b*tches and hos is an attack on aggressive, shallow, social climbers. Would these vipers be less offended if we called them shallow, aggressive social climbers, or vipers? I do not remember any of these Gangsta Rappers referring to Oprah Winfrey, Rosa Parks, Condoleeza Rice, or other accomplished successful black women in these derogatory terms.

Snoop Doggy Dogg is an American success story. He is an entrepreneur who succeeded without hurting anyone else, unlike his phony critics, including Al Sharpton. If I was a rapper, I would write that Tawana Brawley was a ho, and Al Sharpton was her pimp.

So for those who have nothing better to do than attack a man trying to make a living in a legal industry, that being music, which is subjective, I have a crystal clear message…Get a lizzife (life) and a clizzue (clue). I have no idea what I just said, but I mean it.

2 Responses to “In Defizzle (Defense) of Snoop Doggy Dogg, or whatever he calls himself this week”

  1. Miriama O'Brien says:

    I saw on tv once that snoop dogg dog had his own line of jeeps or svus. I would like to know the names and how i can purchase one.

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