THE TYGRRRR EXPRESS

Although the 2010 elections are a little over a month away, I have found a subliminal message that should tell Americans everywhere who is to blame for the failure of the Democrats to govern. In fact, the hidden message tells us who is to blame for everything that is wrong in this country.

That’s right.

Blame Oprah Winfrey.

Some may be wondering why a nice lady like Oprah can and should be blamed for every societal ill, but it is as plain as the nose on the face of somebody whose face has a nose.

(That could be anybody except for the tragically disfigured.)

Others can blame a misspelling for giving us Oprah. She was initially supposed to be named Orpah, after the Greek Goddess. So without that transposition, we never would have had Oprah Winfrey. Would anybody have watched Orpah Winfrey? I just do not know. Had the letters been further rearranged to spell Harpo, she could have been one of the Marx Brothers, making her the first Sister to be a brother without any androgeny or body altering surgeries.

There are several reasons to like Oprah.

For one thing, she does look after her loved ones. Only a woman as powerful as Oprah could get her boyfriend Steadman Graham the job of Attorney General, often mistakenly thought to be some other fellow named Eric Holder.

More importantly, Oprah should be loved for no other reason than she got rid of Phil Donahue. For 20 years he infected television until she beat him in the ratings. Effeminate women on television show warmth. Effeminate men are just sissies, and the wussification of American males ended when he left tv.

Oprah did look sexy dancing with Michele Obama and Hillary Clinton to Sir Mixalot’s “Baby Got Back.”

(Maybe that never happened. I have bizarre fantasies.)

Some say that Oprah should not be responsible for the woes of the Democrats.

Some people are blaming Barack Obama.

Others are blaming Nancy Pelosi.

Even others are blaming Harry Reid.

A precious group of others still blame Hillary Clinton.

All of these people are right…and wrong.

Obama, PelosI, Reid and Hillary are not real people. They are a secret code.

Obama, Pelosi, Reid, and Hillary. Add them up and you get OPRAH.

I always knew that the liberals leading our nation were puppets. Now we know who is behind the curtain, and it is nobody from the Wizard of Oz or even the Wizard of Id.

We now know why, despite the devastating financial crisis. Oprah remained a billionaire.

Oprah runs this world. Until she is stopped, none of us are safe.

The left spends every waking minute blaming George W. Bush and Sarah Palin. George W. Bush and Sarah Palin both appeared as guests on which talk show?

That’s right…Oprah.

Blame her for everything. If we work hard now, we might be able to force her off of the air some time in 2011. She will claim she was retiring anyway, but we know she has a trick up her sleeve.

Some will say she should run for President in 2012 or 2016.

This is not necessary. She is already running the world.

Plus, she is based out of Chicago. If Harry Reid loses, Rahm Emanuel will win the Chicago mayor’s race so that the new Oprah cabal consists of Obama, Rahm, Pelosi, and Hillary.

If Hillary quits, she will fire Steadman and make Eric Holder the new Attorney General. There is no stopping this woman.

She is just that sinister.

So despite Oprah being responsible for everything bad in America, I just cannot hate her.

She removed Phil Donahue. She is forever beloved.

eric

This entry was posted on Monday, September 27th, 2010 at 4:54 am and is filed under POLITICS. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.