Somewhere out there, a 14 year old boy is about to make a tragic mistake that is going to detract from society. He is going to become an activist.
He is going to start spouting nonsensical gibberish about things that most people could…and more importantly should…care less about. He will worry about Darfur, even though he goes to public school, and therefore does not know the Sudan from South Dakota. He will worry about the ozone layer and chloroflorocarbons, even though he cannot spell the word environmentalist in the school spelling bee. He will start breaking into clothing stores and spraying fur coats because he is convinced that bunny rabbits are an endangered species.
It is not that he is passionate. It is that he will be passionate and uninformed. So what will cause this 14 year old boy to abandon normal obsessions such as video games, sports and learning about cars? Well, the last acceptable form of idiocy left on the planet…junior high school girls.
Now before some flaming feminist (redundant, I know) blathers on about why it is wrong to objectify women, a little honesty goes a long way. Women have used sexual power to reduce men to imbecilic automatons since Eve brought down Adam. It works. Physical beauty is a narcotic. If a boy thinks he will get between a girl’s legs, he will put up with anything. This means nodding one’s head up and down in the affirmative and pretending to care about things just because the girl does. Yes, girls do pretend to know and like sports at that age, but the difference is that sports is about activity, not activism. Quoting sports statistics does not put companies out of business or lead to protest marches about things that even the marchers do not understand.
Marketing matters, and sex is the most powerful form of marketing. So who cares if 14 year old boys become googly eyed idiots? I do. These boys will become young adults, and worse…they will become liberals. At this point it will be too late.
I am a conservative republican. I believe in the message of the conservative movement, and I believe the republican party is the best way to spread that message. Yet more young people today want to be democrats, and liberal ones at that. This is easy to understand. No matter how positive and right a message is, if it is not marketed well, no one hears it. On the flip side, society is littered with people who may not contribute much in terms of value, but market themselves brilliantly. Dennis Rodman, Anna Nicole Smith, and Jerry Springer are examples of this.
The bottom line is that conservatism is seen as stuffy and stodgy, and liberalism is seen as hip and cool. The reason this is the case is because liberals are not bound by any constraints. Laws and rules do not apply. So they do what any successful marketing organization does…they sell sex, and very effectively. Anyone who does not see this should turn on the tv and watch Jane Fleming.
Jane Fleming is the leader of a cult known as Young democrats for America, or something like that. She is also a physically gorgeous woman. True power in the form of beauty can be hypnotic. I disagree with almost everything she has to say, and yet I would consider it a privilege to take her on top of a pooltable until we are both scuffed. At this point the feminists need to sit down and shut up if they voted for Bill “Astroturf in the pickup truck” Clinton.
Women can look at men that mentally disgust them and walk away. We can’t. When I see Jane Fleming get indignant on television, with her eyes bulging out in rage, reading democratic party talking points, I get sucked in. Intellectually, I know that if I were to abandon my principles and vote democrat, it would not get her to let me bite off the zipper on her blue jeans. Physically, I would consider voting for Satan (or worse, Hillary) if I could gnaw at her underclothing.
Now if as an adult I could be reduced to such senselessness (Monica Lewinsky anyone? It was not her brains, which she may have, but no one cared), what chance does a 14 year old boy have? It is not a fair fight. The cheerleading team may be uncool in two decades, but by then the boy has already formed his opinions.
The republican party needs to start getting some erotica on television…and fast. Michelle Malkin is stunning, but she is married. Ann Coulter is physically alluring, but she can be intimidating, and boys do not listen to girls they are afraid of. Ann Coulter makes Lorena Bobbitt come across like Mother Teresa.
The democrats get it. Jane Fleming has the pouty lips routine down to perfection. Sure, boys are sitting in front of the tv wishing they were under her desk, but unless the mute button is on, they are going to hear her message. It seeps through. One minute they are wondering if she is doing the show “commando (sans underclothing),” and the next minute they are volunteering to protect wildlife in Alaska from oil drillers. The fact that there is no wildlife to protect in the area to be drilled is irrelevant. The fact that the people of Alaska support drilling means nothing. The Pied Piper of eroticism speaks, and the lemmings jump over the cliff.
This is not to say she is unintelligent. It is just to say that whatever intellect she possesses is peripheral to her being on television. College republicans simply do not have anyone at this time that can compete. Ten years ago I would have said Shannon Doherty, but she has for some bizarre reason not used her playboy spread to catapult her into the political arena. Angie Harmon is stunning, but she is married. That turns guys off, especially ones with no sense of reality, which is almost all 14 year old boys.
So the young boys are hot for these liberal activists, and the girls want to be like them because they know how it effects the boys. Sure, every once in awhile there is someone who actually understands the cause they are supporting, but most of them just want to be cool. If smoking is cool, they light up. If it is uncool, they rail on and on about second hand smoke. If red meat is cool, they eat burgers. If uncool, they cry about poor baby calves. They should cry about sheep, because that is basically what young people can become. Or better yet, lambs led to the slaughterhouse, where their brain cells are killed in an indoctrination ritual.
The next 50 years will determine if America survives. Republicans talk about Islamofacism. It is not sexy, but it is of vital importance. Democrats, especially liberals, worry about singing kumbaya with trees and mosquitoes. It may be intellectually useless, but so many young kids care about it. Could it be that kids are intelligent? Well their parents are not like this in equal numbers, so unless kids truly are smarter than their parents (no), it is just that they are more easily seduced. The republican party will not win over kids with facts, logical reasoning or flow charts. They need spokespeople who put underwear models to shame in terms of looks.
I was lucky. My obsessions with football and the local video arcade were strong enough to help me resist the Cleopatras of the democratic persuasion. Plus, I was funny looking in junior high, so I was blessed enough to realize I was cursed enough to believe I had no shot at sleeping with anyone, much less a cheerleader with airheaded ideas about life.
Most boys are not that far down. They have hope. They do not know what C-Span is, but they would watch it for hours on end provided that they thought it would get them closer to making a good enough impression to end up romping in a jacuzzi filled with lemon lime jello with someone like Jane Fleming.
Good ideas are worthless without effective marketing. Young people are the most easily manipulated creatures of marketing. They then become young adults with entrenched opinions. Either the republican party starts finding ways to appeal to young people now, or we will lose elections for a generation. Anyone who thinks being right and having good ideas alone is enough is in a fantasy land (and not the hot steamy kind). Republicans tried the “actually standing for something” approach in 2006. It did not work. Democrats in congress still have no beliefs, and yet more young people identify with them.
So either the young republicans find Shannon Doherty or some other hot vixen and have her tour college campuses in an almost see through push up bra, or the 50-50 nation will tip 51-49 and beyond for the democrats.
Anyone who thinks I am wrong…turn on the tv…put on Jane Fleming…and see registration among 18 year old boys spike up faster than they spike up themselves. They will not know what she is talking about, but they will not care. Even when she gets as incomprehensible as boxing promoter Don King (the 3rd greatest marketer behind P.T. Barnum and Madonna), young boys will act like they totally understand and relate to her, in the hope that she relates to them.
I have an advanced degree and a successful career, and if I can throw reason out the window, then don’t tell me that 14 year old boys would not form their political beliefs on the basis that they want to sink their teeth into the backside of Jane Fleming’s jeans. This type of language may ruin my political career, but Bill Clinton almost got fired over Monica. She had marketing, and as even the dumbest young junior high school girl knows, marketing is power.
Republicans must match fire with fire, or be prepared to end up out in the cold.
eric