THE TYGRRRR EXPRESS

Lady Liberty is shining her beacon of freedom all over the world today, but primarily in the greatest city in the world, Brooklyn, New York.

The rest seems unimportant. Today is not a day about Al Gore’s son. My only comments are that the kid is a private citizen, it is not a political issue, and it takes a lot for me to feel sympathy for Al Gore, but to have a lifetime of public service and then have your child do something boneheaded is not pleasant. First of all, what was the kid doing driving a Prius in republican Orange County? That is like going to a NOW meeting and demanding they cook me dinner. I hope the vast right wing conspiracy is not blamed for this. I also wonder if the media will pursue this as vigorously as they did with the Bush twins.

Al Gore is irrelevant, and his son is even less relevant. What is relevant is the real story in the news today coming out of Brooklyn, in a small area called Coney Island. Coney Island is the home of the Brooklyn Cyclones, the Boardwalk, and the original Nathans hot dog stand from 1916. Nathans hot dogs are not only the greatest hot dogs in the world, but also the home of the world famous hot dog eating contest. For the last 6 years, Japanese winner Takeru Kobayashi reigned like the Lance Armstrong of competitive eating. Not today! Not in 2007.

“NEW YORK — American Joey Chestnut broke the world hot-dog eating record Wednesday at the annual Nathan’s Famous International Hot Dog Eating Contest, downing 66 franks to beat six-time defending champ Takeru Kobayashi.” (story courtesy of Fox News)

In the 1980s, there was a growing fear that America was no longer number one, that the Japanese were replacing us. They bought Rockefeller Center. The American decline was premature, until the 21st century. Six straight Japanese wins at Coney Island left Americans questioning their greatness. Were we becoming a nation of tofu vegetarians, unable to compete? Not since the disastrous 1983 America’s Cup sailing loss have we been so low. Today, supremacy has returned. Joey Chestnut has brought the yellow hot dog belt back to the USA.

“The two gustatory gladiators quickly distanced themselves from the rest of the 17 competitors, processing more beef than a slaughterhouse within the first few minutes. The two had each downed 60 hot dogs with 60 seconds to go when Chestnut — the veins on his forehead extended — put away the final franks to end Kobayashi’s reign.”

First the British thought that they were better than us. Yet if memory serves, it was Pete Sampras that kept winning the British open in Tennis. Tiger Woods does the same in golf. The Germans? Please. Did Detlef Schrempf win anything? What about Dirk Nowitzki? The Russians have not been the same since the 1980 Olympic hockey game, which led to the the Berlin Wall crashing down. Canada? Are you kidding me. The Mighty Ducks brought the might of America another victory.

The Japanese were not going to defeat us in World War II, which lasted six years. Their domination of the Nathans Hot Dog Eating Contest lasted six years. This is no coincidence.

Yes, there are ultra serious issues concerning July 4th. It is a day about freedom, liberty, democracy, and all things red, white and blue. This column has repeatedly emphasized the pride I feel being American, and how I wish I could shake every soldier’s hand for allowing me to focus on hot dog eating contests while they handle trivial matters such as saving my life. I well up when I hear Lee Greenwood sing “God Bless the USA.” I get fired up when Toby Keith sings about putting a “boot up the @ss” of the bad guys who wish America harm. Bruce Springsteen does sing about “Born in the USA,” but I think “Glory Days,” is a great metaphor. Ours are continuing. I even find solace in the American dream expressed in John Mellencamp’s “Pink Houses,” although not everyone gets that pink house. At least they have a shot.

Some will try to paint today as a day for fat, lazy, stupid American slobs to overindulge in food. Yet if we are such awful people, why does everybody worldwide want to live here? Americans are good people, and we have been blessed. Our indulgences are our way of expressing our blessing. We give generously to other nations, and we are generous with ourselves. As we should be.

I am not Joey Chestnut. I will not be eating 63 hot dogs today, although if I could, I would. I vacation twice a year in Coney Island, where my grandparents reside, along with other family members. When I see my friends, we take that magical trip to the Boardwalk, where the Fireworks go off every weekend during the summer, and the Nathans hot dogs taste fantastic.

So whether it be sports heroes, such as Michael Jordan, Babe Ruth or Joey Chestnut, captains of industry such as Jack Welch or Donald Trump, or the fine heroes of our military, just remember what America truly is. We are high achievers. We strive to be the best. We work hard, play by the rules, and truly believe in the noble greatness of the individual. America is sometimes down, but we have repeatedly been counted out, and those counters have been repeatedly wrong.

To explain American success, I turn to one of my favorite Brooklyn people, Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis. In 1983, after winning another Superbowl, as he held the Lombardi Trophy, he was asked about what it took to achieve success. “First, you start out with great coaches. Then you get great players. Then you have a great organization. You go out and tell them one thing…Just Win Baby!”

Americans are winners. Other nations trash talk. We go about our business. When you are the best, the results speak for themselves.

July 4th is a celebration of b*tchslapping those who tried to harm us. So while I pray for the safety of our soldiers, I also pray that they b*tchslap some terrorists off the face of the Earth. They do that job brilliantly.

So as we light Roman Candles tonight, and wave those American flags sky high, let’s be thankful and grateful that we truly do live in the land of the free, and the home of the brave.

May God bless America, Brooklyn, and soldiers everywhere defending our freedoms.

Nice job Joey Chestnut. Way to bring home the yellow belt.

eric

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 4th, 2007 at 11:46 am and is filed under POLITICS, SPORTS. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.