People who are profiled do not like it. Oh well. People do not like paying taxes, paying their bills, or fulfilling any kind of responsibility when it interferes with our leisure time. Yes, we are entitled to the pursuit of happiness, but not the outcome of happiness. I know several republican Jewish brunettes that I have pursued, and apparently my level of happiness does not mesh with theirs (yet anyway).
Everybody who complains about being profiled needs to drink a glass of “get over it.”
Young black men driving $100,000 cars complain about being pulled over for “DWB,” aka, “Driving While Black.” Yes, this is troublesome, and yes I can understand how a successful black stockbroker or heart surgeon would be singed with rage at this indignity. However, some of that rage should be directed at those who are the reason this happens to begin with, and it is not white racists (although they do exist). It is young black men that offer that image to begin with.
If one day I have a daughter, you can absolutely believe I am going to profile the fellow coming to the door. If he is black, and he is dressed in a professional manner, his race will not be an issue. However, his appearance will be. If he shows up with baggy pants, a ton of “bling,” and fake gold teeth, he is not taking her out.
White guys are not going to have an easier time with me either. If the fellow has a shaved head, earrings, tattoos, an untucked shirt, nose ring, etc, my daughter is staying home. Is that judgmental? Absolutely. Some will say that is old fashioned. Well I hate the new fashions, and I will not help, to quote the late Patrick Moynihan, “Define Deviancy Down.”
Arabs complain about being profiled as terrorists. The solution is to stop looking like terrorists, or accept your fate. Your right to avoid humiliation simply does not rise to the level of my right to avoid being blown to kingdom come. I did not consent to 9/11. When decent, honorable Arabs begin directing their rage at others who have taken their culture and given it a bad name, aka when the moderates stand up to the extremists (at least in America, where they can), things will change for the better.
Some will say white men cannot understand what profiling is like. The original profiling was done 1000 years ago, and it was basically white men with sinister looking scraggly beards, and bumps on their foreheads. The science was called phrenology. People fitting that profile today range from Charles Manson to Al Queda to Ultra Orthodox Jews to rock group ZZ Top. The bottom line is even in today’s society, guys with unkempt facial hair are seen as either homeless, criminal or both. Watch an episode of “Law and Order,” and you will find that virtually every crime is committed by a white male with a sinister looking beard.
Many republicans were shocked to find out I was one of them. I have heard many times “You don’t look like a republican.” People assumed I was a liberal hippie because I have had long hair most of my life. Other people think I am a musician or magician, even though I know nothing about the entertainment industry. One kid a few years back told me that “My third album sucked.” I think he thought I was Sebastian Bach from Skid Row. I gave him my autograph. I wanted to deck the kid for insulting my music, but my friends reminded me that I was never in a band, and that he did like my first two albums until we went in a different direction.
My grandfather once pulled my ponytail and said to my father that I “looked like a Calderone.” I had no idea what he meant. Now he spoke five languages, but to me Calderone sounds Italian, and he did not speak Italian. He insisted he was speaking English. He spoke to my father in another language, and my dad said to him, “No Pop, the guy’s name is Calderone. There is no such thing as a Calderone. It’s the person, not the thing.” When I asked who or what this Calderone was, my dad replied, “Your grandfather says you look like the drug dealer on Miami Vice.”
Drug dealer? I have to this day never even tried drugs, not even marijuana (Thank you Nancy Reagan). When my grandfather pointed to my hair, I stated “The hair does not make you sell the drugs. I have long hair. I do not do drugs.”
Try getting a job on Wall Street in the 1980s with long hair. I acted like Alex P. Keaton from family ties. I was a Wall Street republican finance guy inside, but on the outside, I looked like a rock star wannabe. For every girl who thought the rock star rebel look was sexy, there was a father of that girl that felt uncomfortable with a long haired fellow in their house, no matter how polite and drug free he was.
Some girls in college said “You would look so much better with short hair.” I accepted the left handed compliments graciously up to a certain point, but after again reminding them I was comfortable with who I was, had to put my foot down. After the umpteenth suggestion, I told them, “Look, you need liposuction, you need rhinoplasty, and you need a tummy tuck.” They got the message.
So the option was either demand the world change, or accept the fact that I had to play the game. I cut it short enough before I go on job interviews, major business meetings, or visits with my parents. Then I grow it back immediately afterwards. I keep the goatee, but before the above mentioned items, make sure it is not scraggly.
When I get to the top, I will fire everyone that is short haired and neatly dressed. Howard Stern wears his hair long, but he is Joe the Boss. I am not there yet.
What it comes down to is some people put principles above success. That is not me. It is why I will sleep with liberals, pay more in rent for a prestigious address, and play the nice guy routine to people who need their throats ripped out.
A friend of my dad once said, “If I knew then what I know now, I’d have kissed their @ss in Macy’s window.” When I speak to college kids I explain to them that rich, powerful and important people never get tired of hearing how rich, powerful and important they are. They know you are kissing their hide, and inside, they love it because they had to do it. I tell kids that the secret to success in life is to “find rich and powerful people and get them to like you.” I now take it a step further and tell them to “Find the rich and powerful people, pull their trousers down, and asked them where they want to be kissed.”
No, I am not advocating prostitution, but being a corporate slut is one step above barely legal. Once you get the job or the girl you have to perform. One famous quote is “never confuse sleeping with the boss with sleeping on the job.” However, nobody will know a person’s talents if they do not get their foot in the door.
We play by the rules that society forces on us, whether it be going to bed on time or dressing appropriately, so that we can get to the point where we make the rules, at which point we can stay up all night and dress how we want (assuming we are not so tired from the climb that we go to bed early anyway).
Getting profiled sucks. I hate it. However, I do not blame the decent people of society. I blame the long haired liberal hippy stoners for creating an image that I get labeled with. When hippies and stoners are gone from the Earth, perhaps I will be able to have long hair and be left alone in peace.
In March of 2007 I went to visit my parents, and to go to a conference with Vice President Cheney. I looked immaculate. I have not been to the barber in four months, and my hair is out of control. July of 2007 involves a trip to the Reagan Library, where many powerful republicans will be congregating. These people can help me get to the next level.
I will not need to wear a suit (which I hate, since I do it for work every day), but I will go spotless black jeans and sportjacket, and of course a patriotic necktie. My goatee will be trimmed, and my hair will be spotless.
Ok, off to the barber today so I do not get profiled tomorrow. I just keep telling myself that I am one step away from being the guy in Macy’s window, and my posterior is ready to be kissed. The game will not change. The only choice is to win it, by any means necessary, even if it means murdering some of my own rock star hair.
eric
I have a beard { Van Dyke } which is always trimmed, and hair down to my ass also. { neat, ponytail }
I must say that it makes for some interesting reactions when liberals assume I’m sympathetic to them. This is one reason I keep it. I’m kinda sick like that. Also , a number of hairstylists have made the point to me that once you cut it , it must be maintained monthly after that.
I want profiling, and lots of it. I dont care if I piss you off. If you cant understand my position I’m going to look at you even harder.
I’m with you on this one. Most people act like I just cracked a funny joke when they find out I’m Republican (or at least a solid Regan Conservative). I just trimmed my hair, but I usually have bangs that come most of the way down my face, have sideburns that come down to my jawline and I sport anywhere between two and four earrings depending on my mood. I wear mostly bowling shirts and Doc Marten work shoes with blue jeans.
Having spent five years being a sailor, I have a more worldly view than most and certainly a much more foul mouth than the average conservative. I work out regularly, which means that at 6’4″ and 200+ pounds, I am more apt to be considered athletic than intellectual.
I break the conservative republican stereotype at every turn, and I enjoy it. However, my true colors do come out once in a while – as I am a rabid cigar smoker and usually have a very well stocked humidor, I have more scotches and fine liquors than beer in my cupboard and I am more than happy to spend a couple hundred dollars on a good steak dinner and bottle of wine at a classy restaurant.
When people find out that I am a solid conservative who is mostly pro life, snub my nose at ethanol and the “green movement” and believe that marriage is a thing reserved for cute girls and boys to enjoy… They usually look at me as if I had just told them I am from Mars.
So, with that said, I will certainly say that I understand profiling. There are those who play the game and meet the standards for the group they belong, and then there are those of us who chose to stand apart from their chosen demographic – and enjoy every minute of it.
So enjoy! Eric, I know you do. I certainly do. As for the rest of you, I certainly hope you are all enjoying it!
From apparently longer experience, and personally making a point of becoming a shadow in the background, I can only say that if you don’t wish to be profiled, don’t try too hard.
As for me, I probably “fit” the Republican image (close cropped hair with a short beard – gray), but I am certainly not a conservative in the ways that most people use that term. The comedy act is that some of the more conservative conservatives insist on branding me as a “librul.”
Just dropped over from Voice of the Pacific – Sonnabend sent me. Good post. Very good. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck – it is perhaps a duck. So, if one looks like a terrorist – whatever look that is – perhaps one is a terrorist.
Like your blog.
…”if you don’t wish to be profiled, don’t try too hard.”
Such as groveling in the direction of a cube, and licking the carpet. Then, swapping seats on the plane several times while muttering allah snackbar.
Very true Stormwarning.
Well-written article with some good points. If I someday have a daughter, there is no doubt I will too be profiling the boyfriends she brings to my house. It’s a natural reaction, in that sense. It has nothing to do with being racist. Rather, we judge people we don’t know (our first impression) by relating certain characteristics they possess to others whom we do recognize, either good or bad.
BTW, I voted for your blog on blogger’s choice and I wish you the best of luck!
The left will give all politically correct amenities to illegal aliens and Muslim terrorists.
And then turn around and call any memeber of this country that they disagree with a host of nasty names.
They are so carefull not to offend anyone that I dont give a rats ass about.
But they turn around and call the President of the United States of America a liar, a murdrer, and an idiot.
I once dressed like a 70’s druggie beach guy for halloween in college. Women I would never dream of dating kept coming up to me and telling me they’d date me if I dressed like that for real. Profiling indeed.
“Books don’t choose their covers, people do.” – Richard C from our site, http://www.prosandcons.us.
Well, Eric, you asked me to come over and check it out. That’s what I have done. I think you may have misread my blog, as I don’t feel as conservative as I once did. I think I part ways with you and yours at social issues. On the other hand, I dig a rogue most every day of the week, even if just on the outside. You’ve got it right on the General in your most recent post. I don’t think our opinion is shared by many. In fact, a friend told me recently that I probably supported the war just to be a contrarian. While he knows I have been consistent, he knows that I enjoy holding viewpoints that make others squeamish. Whatever the case, it is clear that you can write very well, and seem to enjoy this forum. Kudos for an interesting read.
CB