THE TYGRRRR EXPRESS

To Jewish people everywhere, I wish you a peaceful and happy Rosh Hashanah. To Jewish people everywhere, I apologize for typing this on Rosh Hashanah. I hope you are not reading this on the High Holy Days.

My internal battle to be a better human being and a better Jew is never ending.

Jews are not supposed to work on Rosh Hashanah. I took two days off from work. However, we are not supposed to do anything that we normally do. For one, the bulk of our time should be spent in shul, also known as synagogue or temple.

I was not raised orthodox, although I have a deep respect for religious traditions. So many religious and secular people are at each other’s throats, and I respect those who obey the traditions as well as those who do not. However, some people refuse to obey traditions because they say those traditions themselves are archaic. Nonsense. Religion requires discipline, and I have shortcomings. It requires sacrifice, and I am lazy. I do not obey some of my own traditions, but I refuse to blame the traditions themselves for my inability to follow them. The traditions do not need to lower their standards or bend with the times. I need to raise my standards.

I remember one time on Passover, my friends and I went to Dennys. We were not allowed to eat bread, so when we were brought turkey plates with stuffing, we asked the waiter to take back the stuffing. He offered us cornbread, rolls, and other bread, and was confused that we refused them. He stated the bread was free. We did not wish to give a long explanation. We ate no bread that night.

My father, a secular man, found this to be a worthless gesture. We were trying to feel good about ourselves, and we should not have been eating in a non-kosher restaurant to start with. The plates were not kosher, and the turkey was not kosher either.

My grandfather, an Orthodox Rabbi, disagreed. He recognized that we would have eaten the stuffing had it not been Passover. He did not condone being in Dennys, but he stated that every little bit does matter. We did the right thing, and gradual positive change is better than an all or nothing approach, especially if it leads to nothing.

One dilemma I have always had is the Sabbath. God wants me to honor it and keep it holy. Since the National Football League is on Sundays, this is not normally a conflict. However, the playoffs also occur on Saturdays. It is not an easy choice, but I watch the games.

However, the High Holidays are more serious. In 1993, the Raiders played the Chiefs on Monday Night Football, which was also on Yom Kippur, the Holiest day. I decied to tape the game and watch it 24 hours later. This was not easy for me. I avoided all newspapers for the whole time. After 24 hours, as I was about to watch the game, somebody accidentally saw me and told me the score. They had assumed I watched it. Why God, why?

On several occasions ESPN announced Chris Berman started NFL Primetime by wishing the Jewish audience members a happy Rosh Hashanah, and then playfully saying, “For those of you watching this broadcast on the east coast, you should be in temple right now.” My friends and I on the west coast laughed heartily at that.

The spirit of the law says I should not be watching football on Rosh Hashanah. However, the letter of the law simply states I cannot turn on the television, since creating electricity is considered working. I could turn the television on before the holiday, but leaving it on for two days straight is not feasible. Several years ago I did what any rational person would do. I found the temple across the street from the sportsbar, and found out when the services were, and when the games were on. I ran back and forth like Mrs. Doubtfire, switching my Yamulkah (skullcap) with my baseball cap. I had my respectable shirt and necktie on in temple, and kept removing it to have only my Raiders shirt on in the bar.

Did I say rational? No, this is what idiotic people do. At some point, I had to start making choices. I had to stop kidding myself. Perhaps one day I will.

Wednesday Night, September 12th, was the beginning of Rosh Hashanah. I was not in temple. I was on a Jdate. Yes, two Jewish people skipped Temple to go on a date. I will refer to her as the “New York Nightingale,” and say that the date was a fabulous experience. I am not proud of ditching temple, but I want to find somebody special to lead a Jewish life with. God helps those who help themselves, and while I may not have done right according to God, I did what was right for me. Based on the quality of the evening, I would have much bigger regrets about missing out on meeting her than being in Temple, since all I would do in Temple is pray that I meet a special woman (in addition to praying for my family of course)!

I have decided that if I am too busy to blog, I will skip it for a couple days. However, if the breaks in the service are long, and I have free time, I might start typing away. The holiest day of the year, Yom Kippur, is easy to figure out. Jewish holidays are not from midnight to midnight, like Christmas is. We go from sundown the night before to the next sundown. Therefore, I can type before sundown before Yom Kippur starts, and then the next day wait until after sundown.

The problem with this is that I spent more time trying to figure out loopholes in the letter of the law then I did in actually obeying the law! Also, Judaism, unlike American law, highly values the intentions and spirit that the laws were intended for. Yom Kippur is a day about atoning and apologizing for bad behavior, and even typing this column is another thing to apologize for in what seems like a never ending list.

No, I am not one of those stereotypical, angst ridden Jews. Actually the opposite. I feel guilty for not feeling guilty enough. I do as I d@mn well please, which is certainly not going to endear me to the Big G (God, not Greenspan).

All I ask God for is to look after my family and friends, and to not shove a flamethrower up my rumpus any time soon. Somewhere out there is a bigger screwup than me. I drive too fast, but always make sure one car is driving faster than me. However, wishing for somebody to do something diabolical to let me slide down the list does not cut it. God does not play the lowered expectations game. He does not grade on a curve. I have to make myself better, regardless of what others do.

I picture John Cougar Mellencamp singing “Check it out.” He sings, “Time to settle with my neighbor. Time to question my own behavior.”

By the time people read this, I will be in temple. I had better be. As for my Jewish friends, I hope they wait until after the holiday to read it. As for my Muslim friends, I do not know what the rules are concerning Ramadan and the blogosphere. I often have to eat my words, but only figuratively. However, Christian America should read these words. I could use the traffic. Oh great, another shameless self promotion, which is being added to my Yom Kippur list.

May God look after his children, the Jewish people, and all the children of the world. May God look after my family and friends. May God look after good people everywhere, and love good people even if they disagree in part or in whole about God himself.

May God give me the strength to figure out who and what I am so that next year on Rosh Hashanah I will either write a column and shut up about it, or to the delight of many Jewish people I admire, not write a column at all.

Amen.

eric

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 13th, 2007 at 10:48 am and is filed under POLITICS, SPORTS, Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.