As the wonderful holiday of Hanukkah prepares to enter its second night, Jewish people engage in behavior that strict Islam forbids, that being drinking alcohol and gambling.
The Jewish religion is loaded with alcohol. We even have two drinking holidays, one in March and one in September. Sometimes we show solidarity with our Catholic brethren when the March one coincides with St. Patricks Day. Before delving into the consequences of alcohol, a happy Hanukkah story for you.
Two religious Jews in a synagogue could not find a Menorah with less than an hour before the first night of Hanukkah. Yes, I still remain incredulous that a synagogue would not have a Menorah laying around, but I witnessed this incident myself. These two very enterprising young men quickly between them drank 8 bottles of beer. A Menorah actually has holes for 9 candles, with one of them being higher than the other 8. Therefore, these two creative, but at this point inebriated men drank a bottle of what they referred to as “Rabbi Smirnoff.”
At this point these devoted, pious, and completely blitzed individuals did what any blasted individuals would do at this point…play with matches. By taking candles and lighting them, this created wax. The wax was used to fuse the bottles of beer and vodka together to form a makeshift Menorah. In a reversal on the story of Hanukkah, they had enough alcohol for 8 nights, but miracle of miracles, they drank it all on the first night.
I remember these two guys dancing on the table that night. While they were highly entertaining, the lesson I learned from that night is that for those who want to witness human stupidity, just add alcohol, mix, and wait.
It is in this spirit of overindulging on spirits that I bring up the issue of Iran. Liberals everywhere have just declared world peace, and I can only hope that they all came back from a drinking party at Ted Kennedy’s compound. Otherwise, an entire political party is engaging in mind boggling stupidity, reminding us again that, to quote rock group Spinal Tap, “the more it stays the same, the less it changes.”
The National Intelligence Estimate has stated that Iran stopped trying to pursue Nuclear Weapons in 2003. The implications are that Iran is no longer a dangerous threat to the world, President Bush knew about this, and he purposely and dastardly hid this information so that the Neocons could deliberately wage war with Iran.
Ok liberals, put down the peace pipes and stop smoking whatever illegal substance is inside them. Once again, the suicide of logical reasoning needs to be stopped before we invite Armageddonijad to Friday night synagogue services for jelly donuts, latkes (potato pancakes) and games of Dreidel.
The report is called the NIE, which stands for National Intelligence…what was that word again? Oh yeah…estimate. It is not called the NIC, or National Intelligence Certainty.
Why is it that reports of countries trying to kill America and blow up the world are considered sketchy, but that countries refusing to murder us are taken at face value, no questions asked?
Iraq was thought to have WMD. They were never found, leading many to think President Bush lied, or at worst was incompetent. I have maintained that Saddam did have WMD, he hid them in Syria, and even if there were no WMD, I never cared. The left said we were waging war over WMD because they desperately wanted to have it both ways, depending upon how the war went. We went to war to get rid of Saddam, and we were right.
Libya learned form the Iraq War. Iran did not. Khadafi decided to become normal. Armageddonijad went bonkers.
Saddam acted like he had WMD. Even if he was lying, who cares? If a group claims responsibility for a terrorist attack that they are innocent of just so they can burnish the Arab version of “Street Cred,” then they deserve to get blown to kingdom come.
Armageddonijad is acting like he is on the verge of nuclear weapons. It is he who is saber rattling, not George W. Bush.
Can the NIE be right? Yes. Does it matter? No. Should we blow up Iran anyway? Yes.
Yes, you all heard me correctly. I am advocating that either Iran immediately decides to knock it off, or they and Syria will be turned into 50,000 hole golf courses. They fund Hamas and Hezbollah. They control the world’s supply of oil. They think we are imperialist now? Let’s show them some real imperialism. The slogan can be “kick their @ss and take their gas.”
Jews live today to celebrate Hanukkah due to one thing and one thing only, and that is the appropriate use of overwhelming military force.
I say again that we should take an American flag and shove it up Armageddonijad’s hide until he goes to the toilet red, white and blue. Given his love for the Jewish people, we can hang the Israeli flag from his two tiny weapons of mass sexual dysfunction. In fact, in the same way we brought down Noriega with rock music, we can do the same with Armageddonijad. I recommend George Thorogood and the Destroyers singing, “Move over little dog, there’s a mean old dog moving in.” That big dog’s name is America.
Respected republican pollster Frank Luntz emphasized that the Israelis do not believe the NIE report, and while my heart bleeds American, Israeli intelligence is the best in the world. So before we start inviting Armageddonijad to go shopping with us at the holiday sales at Bloomingdales, let’s keep in mind that this fellow, despite being an honorary Poison Ivy Leaguer, is a terrorist.
He played a direct role in the taking of American hostages. Every one of those 444 days back in 1980 was connected to him. He funds worldwide terrorism.
One does not need to down bottles of Rabbi Smirnoff to understand that this guy is a lunatic who on the surface is not afraid to die. Ask, and he should receive.
The Greeks tried to kill us off, and today Jews celebrate Hanukkah. The Romans tried, and as impressive as their empire was, Israel at the least matches Italy. The Germans tried, and the third Reich lasted 12 years. The Arabs try every few years inbetween plotting to kill each other.
Thousands of years later, we will not back down from a madman that wants to wipe Israel off of the map. If he truly does not have WMD, then t’tkhmyaeierying tot theOr we can wait until planes fly into towers, at which point the Jayson Blair Times will blame the republican president for not “doing something to prevent this.”
We can try crippling sanctions until the country cracks, which would only hurt the Iranian people. North Korea is proof that this can fail. Or, we can repeal the law banning political assassinations, and take the madmen of Iran out. That includes every Mufti, Mullah, Ayatollah, Ayamufti, Muftitolah, and other multisyllabic hybrids that are merely Persian for the word “terrorists.”
Some will say that if we act this way, then they will. They already are, or did people not notice a British woman being threatened with death for a teddy bear named after the Prophet? Perhaps people forgot about Daniel Pearl and Theo Van Gogh.
Enough is enough. Iran is claiming they will soon have weapons. The NIE report to me is toilet paper. It can be used to clean up the Mullah’s palaces when they are eliminated.
At the very bare minimum, which is all I ever expect from the left anyway, let’s be calm about this NIE report. Armageddonijad is a serious problem. World peace did not break out today.
I want to celebrate Hanukkah next year with my fellow Jews. I also want to celebrate July 4th with my fellow Americans. This cannot be done if we are wiped off of the map. Just because some report by a flawed agency says that it will not happen tomorrow does not mean we should forget about the day after that.
Off to play Dreidel while listening to my favorite 1950s songs,”Yakkety Yak, Bomb Iraq,” by the Coasters, and “Bomb Iran,” by the Beach Boys.
eric
how sad …
There’s only one bit of evidence that should make everyone take pause with the NIE.
Russia offered Iran free EU in exchange for an Iranian cessation of their nuclear weapons program.
Iran refused.
Those 3000 centrifuges ain’t for making nuclear fuel, ladies & gents.
I find it interesting that no one is talking about Chavez’ comment that if his referendum for lifetime presidency failed in Venezuela it would be the fault of the CIA clandestine services undermining the process and that he would cut off the oil to America if it were to happen. It seems to me that this move on the NIE was a pre-emptive action on the Part of a Prudent George Bush.
The OPEC oil cartel has two wild cowboys with influence…Ahmadinejad and Chavez…remember the tour of Arab states in which Chavez posed for photo-ops with every dictator of Islamikazistan? Remember the CUBA coalition of 114 nations in the non-aligned nations which – confederacy like – and Koranic Sura like – sought to re-define terror to be the acts of the United States and Israel? Remember the fact that Chavez is trying to start a South American version of the World Bank to replace the World Bank and the IMF, and that he refuses to pay the debts of the past and then proceeded to militarily nationalize his oil program, kicking out US and British contractually bound, property owning businesses?
Look, the NIE report was issued on the 3rd…the vote was on the 2nd. It sounds like Chavez made a move and Bush trumped his move…all to keep gas prices down because in an election year – well – the group that guarantees low priced gas is the one that retains incumbancy of partisan posts…unfortunately, this time – the issue of oil has sunk the Bush Doctrine. And lo, suddenly at the same time Guantanamo Trials and habeus corpus are questioned again…it is like a 9 month circle that is winding down – next cycle will be 6 months, the next 3 and then the finality…we have a year and 6 months until the reality of Iran having Nuclear Power will be solved in paper pushing backrooms and then we will find out in total shock that Iran has the bomb when the persian sands shift in the wake of a detonation for all satellites and richter scales to cope with…I figure by June of 2009.
This move of George Bush to release 2003 documents does two things. First, it paralyzes ALL future warmaking of the United States – because it takes 4 years to get accurate intelligence. Second, it shows that every single Intelligence office of the Intelligence community is taking a hands off attitude on the coming war with Iran, saying “Hey, we didn’t say they had Nukes…who said we said they had nukes?” It is a move of plausible deniability on the part of the Intelligence community which removes a check and causes imbalance on the part of the president to make war for 90 days without consulting Congress. In another words, it forces oversight committees to arise which will serve as a bridge between the intelligence community and the diplomatic agencies of the UN. It is a move towards accepting one thing – LOST. It is a veiled move, but it is there.
America has a problem. We have two political machines both working for two separate forms of American Subservience to the UN. The only stop gap and fail safe is the Presidency. And that fail safe is broken into two parties and two media machines…and a democracy check and balance system that is totally independent of the electorate and all sense of reason.
This move of the Presidency would be the prudent one in an atmosphere of Peace. But to show a hole card this early in the Poker match between the US and Iran, shows that the combined pressure of Iran and Venezuela can mold Foreign Policy and Domestic releases.
It is strange and nonsensical to think that the President was not briefed about 4 year old data in an NIE report when for the last 2 years the NIE reports have been being leaked to the Press piecemeal.
It was a mistake for the President to say that Iran should not have the “Knowledge” to make Nuclear weapons when that information is readily available on the Web.
My question is – were these reports disregarded because we were in the process of switching over to a Homeland Security system of cooperation between Intelligence Community offices? Was it something that slipped through the cracks, or is it a “REPORT” of United Concern and inability to assess due to lack of transparency. I mean, how can 16 offices of the Intelligence community come to any conclusion when half are domestic and half are international…if that is indeed the breakdown of reality?
Regardless, the fact is – the combined power of Iran, Venezuela and Saudi Arabia in the OPEC world have the innate pressure to move the political picture to one of vassaldom for the United States if we continue to allow ECONOMIC JIHAD. We are fueling the storm by giving the collective tax payers liquid money to this system. Saudi Arabia makes 3 billion dollars a day off of the American tax payer. A day! This move by the President is a holding action. We have to hold the price of oil at 100 dollars a barrel to make it economically feasible for the Capitalist world to begin the process of R&D on Shale Oil mining in the Colorado/Arizona/Wyoming Oil Patches. It will take a full year to get those plants up and running and properly taxable before we can make a move against that region again. Everything is pointing to the late Summer of 2009 for the dominoes to begin their tumble.
Happy Chanukah, Eric :)
A new “candle” lit each night.
Happy Hanukkah Eric, and a toast with Rabbi Smirnov.
My hope is that Hanukkah is seen as much more than just a celebration of military victory. Yes, Hanukkah commemorates victory in the Jewish revolt against the Maccabeans but it celebrates the rededication of the Temple. It is not the story of overwhelming brute force but just the opposite. It is another David and Goliath story where the Jews were David and the Maccabeans the Goliath.
For more on the history see my comment in eric’s previous Chaka Kahn post and if you were to place it in the context of the situation in Iraq, the US would be the Maccabeans and the Shiites/Sunnis the divided people of Judah.
It is a celebration of the fact that sheer physical and military power does not always or long prevail, and it serves as a repudiation of the neo-con neo-con justification for war
Just realized I made a major mistake. My two references to the Maccabeans should, of course, have been to the Seleucids. My bad. Must have been the left-over burrito I had for dinner.
Who left it over what ?
Happy Hanukkah Eric. And try not to worry so much! The Iranians have already promised a “Malay Solution” with Israel that may well bring an end to all this paranoia. The Iranians and Israel can work this out for themselves. We should avoid that matter.
JMJ
Yea, Malysia. Right. Freeking place is full of roachs also.
Israelis have been getting dogged and killed and whatever for centuries by everyone around them. And they should just be labeled “paranoid”?
Still smokin that Kumbaya herb.
Respected public pollster Frank Luntz? The neocon shill has worked for Giuliani, and is a deceiver as much as Bush and his chickenhawk administration. As an example, Luntz renamed a policy that benefited the logging industry by expanding logging the “Healthy Forests Initiative”!
So 16 Federal agencies are wrong, but wrong on Iraq Bush and Israeli Intelligence is right? The Israeli info is self serving for sure, as they want the USA to fight Iran for them.
Bottom line, I support the state of Israel, but not the BILLIONS OF TAXPAYER MONEY SENT YEAR AFTER YEAR! Not only to Israel, but to Pakistan and Saudi Arabia as well. We are an ally to Israel and should be, but it’s about time we let Israel take care of their own battles, because Israel is STRONG enough to do so!
With the USA minding it’s own business, it would force Israel to come to terms with it’s neighbors, and work out the issues in the middle east. The USA has given Israel the nuclear capabilities to take care of any Iranian threat, so the USA needs to step back and let Israel take care of themselves. It’s called “tough love”, and if the USA really supports Israel, it would pull back to allow Israel to stand proud as a Jewish state, empowered to stand strong and make peace.
As long as the USA fights Israel’s battles, we will be in danger of terrorism and Israel will suffer because they have to stand up for themselves, and face the conflict head one, with war as a LAST RESORT, because peace through diplomacy can be achieved (don’t tell that to the neocons, the war profiteers, and the oil companies).