Grow up! All of you!

Yeah, I’ve had it. There is a time for graciousness and a time to be strident. Welcome to strident central. Too many adults are acting like a bunch of spoiled children. I have a simple message to these crybabies. Grow up! All of you!

Hillary Clinton…grow up. Knock it off. Stop trying to have it both ways on every single issue. Take some clear stands. Tick people off for the right reasons. Tick people off because they disagree with what you stand for. Stop ticking people off for refusing to stand for anything. Enough obfuscating, triangulating, and calculating. Stop treating every person that disagrees with you as either an imbecile or evil. Stop talking about how tough you are and then hiding behind your husband when the boys hit back. You are not the girl who got beat up in school. You are an adult. Fight your own battles.

Bill Clinton…enough! Quit blaming the media for the fact that your wife is stiff as a board. You had a quarter of a century to teach her how to be likable. She failed. It is either your fault…or more likely, hers. The media had their heads so far up your hide in the 1990s that it was tough to tell where you began and they ended. Now they like Barack Obama. Are they biased? Sure. You were fine with this when they were fawning over you. You kept claiming it was about the people. Prove it. Be quiet, let the campaign unfold without you, and let the people decide. You have bullied enough people. Now you are trying to bully liberal reporters and even liberal voters. I would tell you it won’t work, but knowing you, it will. It does not make it right. I know you grew up in the 1960s, but enough already.

Disenchanted conservatives…stop it! Rudy Giuliani, John McCain, Mitt Romney and (recently departed from the race) Fred Thompson are all fabulous. They are not perfect. Giuliani is not a social conservative. McCain is not your illegal immigration guy. McCain and Thompson supported that awful campaign finance law. Romney is liberal on social issues, or at least was for a long time. So what? Ronald Reagan raised taxes. We are electing a President, not a saint.

Some conservatives want to form a 3rd party to teach the republican party a lesson. You will be marginalizing yourselves, not the party. No sane conservative is happy about the spending under GOP rule in this century. Then again, no sane conservative wants Hillary in the White House. For those who think a moderate republican is no better than Hillary, just remember how Bill Clinton made you feel. Multiply that 100 fold…that is Hillary. Stop craving perfection. You sound like 40 year old women crying because they rejected every man at age 25, and are now childless at 40. There is no perfection. There is good enough. Support your candidate in the primary, and when the nominee is decided…Fall into line!

Investors…stop crying. The stock market is gambling. It will not go up every day. There will be losses. Do not blame your brokers, your God, or the person who gave you the stock tip. Stop trying to get rich overnight. Oh, and you might want to actually read your statements, and the company reports. Buy real companies with real earnings. If you are too busy to do the research, then shut up, by a boring mutual fund, and check back in 20 years. If you want to buy individual stocks, either go along for the ride. If riding roller coasters makes you airsick, by bank CDs. Just quit crying.

For those of you who bought subprime mortgages, it’s the irresponsibility stupid. You would have screwed up your life in some other way given the chance. You wanted something for nothing. You blame greedy lenders, but nobody forced you to buy, and nobody denied you the right to read what you signed. I would love to buy, but prices are high. I rent. I have seen guys drive $100,000 cars, and then have those cars repossessed. They laugh at my car, but I own my car. The bank does not own it. It is 100% mine.

Populists…shut up. Profits are good. Higher corporate profits are better. Corporations make stuff or provide services. If they lose money, they stop providing stuff. If you confiscate their profits through punitive tax measures because you are jealous of their success, they will stop researching cures for diseases, insuring homeowners, heating your homes, or providing the food and drink on your kitchen table. Businesses are not hear to work for free. Do you individuals work for free? Do you want 1/2 your money taken away? Well neither do corporations, which last time I checked, were run by people.

Hollywood…Stay on strike. I only watch news and sports. This is not a labor-management dispute that anywhere near rivals the issues that real businesses that matter deal with. This is not the right to earn overtime, have safe working conditions, or feed a family. These are millionaires fighting with billionaires. It is liberals who write about republican greed fighting with liberals who produce shows about republican greed. They are at each other’s throats because they are all greedy. Let them cannibalize each other. Or better yet, act like adults, and reach an agreement, or the 12 people who still care might stop caring. These parasites are replaceable.

I wake up in the morning, and realize that nobody will benefit my existence but me. My boss, my friends, and my family can listen to me up to a certain point, but they cannot give me what I need. I lead a happy life because if I don’t, nobody will care, so I might as well be happy. Plus, there are worse things than being young, caucasian, and successful in America today. I wouldn’t mind being taller and wealthier, but life is not perfect. Would I like to take Shannon Doherty until we shatter the headboards? Sure. Will anybody care besides me if I don’t? No.

So what do I do? I look down, and notice that I have a pair of testicles. I recommend that if any man does not have them, grow a pair immediately. For those who are female, grow something that makes you act in the same tough and dignified way men act when they have aforementioned appendages. Everybody, just grow a pair already.

Then get ready to celebrate my favorite holiday. I call it “Shut the hell up and go to work day.” It should be celebrated 40 hours a week, 50 weeks per year, and perhaps even when on vacation.

For those who I forgot to verbally rap upside the head, snap out of it before I do get to you. For those of you that actually do possess (not so) common sense, thank God for you. You may be diminishing in number, but you are appreciated in terms of quality.


33 Responses to “Grow up! All of you!”

  1. Sue Massey says:

    I found your site on google blog search and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. Just added your RSS feed to my feed reader. Look forward to reading more from you.

    – Sue.

  2. Jersey McJones says:

    Feel better now? :)


  3. micky2 says:

    I think you’ll find more peace in accepting that if any of these people havnt grown up by now they never will.

  4. Stormwarning says:

    And, as I’ve written on my blog and commented on others, it may be the time for the “social conservative” wing ot he Republican party to wake up and realize that the “conservative agenda” (with all of that “values” stuff) does not represent the mainstream of the Republican electorate. And that those who do not share your views of the “conservative agenda” or the image of the Republican party are not “rhinos” but actually people who believe in principles of small(er) government, strong national and homeland defense, elimination of the inheritance tax, encouragement of entrepreneurship and innovation and other “radical ideas”…but simply do not share those religious views that have so overtly been foisted upon the rest of us?

  5. AL says:

    Eric, How dare you alienate the American people with a tirade about grace, getting a job, being accountable, and accepting the principles of supply and demand in a capitalistic nation? If I wanted to grow up, I’d move to LA and picket with the strikers…they want more money to interject the F word, say anything stupid about the administration as if there’s some inside joke, or make stupid sexual comments, which are less inuendo and more in-you-face-o…

    Long live the strike; long live the stock market over time, and RIP the Hill and Billary show…

    Stormwarning: Not sure what prompted your comments, but they are on target. I live in the South, and I’m not crazy about getting sucked into the “Religious Right” movement. I will not deny my personal religious beliefs, but there is good reason for the separation of church and state. I can only hazard that so many politicians use religion as a hammer because it’s easier to get excited about abortion (killing babies), stem cell research (playing God), and same sticks marriage (an abomination) than to rally around inheritance tax or encouraging entrepreneurs…

    p.s. the comments in parentheses are standard arguments used by detractors to denounce said initiatives and not necessarily my views. Granted, I don’t agree with abortion, government-funded stem cell research, or same-sex marriage, but my reasons are somewhat more sophisticated than the abovementioned right-wing talking points.

  6. […] faces in our pillows if everything doesn’t work out perfectly. Yikes. A great post over at TYGRRRR Express talks about this temper […]

  7. mike volpe says:

    Eric, a few points. You are generally correct in calling cynicism for what it is, however some of the cynicism is tactical. For instance, each of the Clinton’s isn’t merely whining for no reason. They see an angle. This isn’t done becaue they are upset, they probably are, but it is done to gain an advantage and so while it would be nice if they weren’t cynical, it isn’t going to get them the Wh, and so good luck.

    You make excellent points about the Rep candidates. I think our electorate has turned an excellent field and demonized it and it is a shame. I frankly like all our candidates and would wholeheartedly support them all, minus Ron Paul, and while no one is perfect in this group, no one is perfect in any group. I, like you, am tired of those that take a disagreement in policy and turn it into some sort of crisis.

    Yes, Rudy is socially liberally, and no, the world won’t fall apart if he takes that to the Wh. It is amazing how many Conservatives overlook his overwhelming conservative record in a very liberal place, NYC, simply because of one issue. It is amazing how little leadership credit they give him because of this issue.

    Similar points can be made about each of the candidates. (Rudy is my guy so I will expound on him only)

    As for the writer’s strike, I must strenuously disagree but 24 is my fav show and soon it won’t even be shown because of this strike. So, please, get together and divvy up the billions fairly and do it now, while Season 7 is still possible.

  8. Jersey McJones says:

    I have to admit, as an admitted liberal, a pro-labor guy, and a person often accused of being “elitist,” – as Hollywood writers and such are often accused though ironically neither I nor most writers don’t make very much money – I really don’t care that much about today’s television and movie writers. Granted, I’m more of a C-Span guy than a network prime-time kinda guy, more of a Sundance guy than studio production patron – so perhaps I’m biased. I just don’t enjoy the vast majority of the writers producitivity. I don’t like the product. But that’s a generalization. Like most, I suppose, I like what I like and I don’t what I don’t. For me, and I think a lot of other people, I genuinely detest probably 95% of what’s on TV and in the movies.

    Now, don’t get me wrong, as “liberal,” “progressive,” and “elitist” as I am, I also happen to love some of what many consider the low-brow fair in the popular media. For example, I pick on Fox News and crazy ol’ Rupy every day, but I watch it because I have to. I have to know what’s showing on the popular news outlet in America. It’s a civic responsibility, yeah, but it’s also because I enjoy getting my blood up. On the other hand, I adore some of the programming on Fox. The Simpsons and all their spin-offs, Roseanne, Married With Children – some of the best social-commentary/comedy ever. Perhaps the best. And then on the other other hand, I find Fox reality and drama programming so insipid that I feel stupider just knowing it’s produced.

    Now, one could say, “Well, that’s the great thing about all the competitive choices we have,” and to an extent they’d be right. But on the other hand, when you see just how ubiquitous the stricker’s affect has been, you realize there is much less “choice” out there than you thought. Somehow the writers strike has exposed just how stupid most of their work has been and just how consolidated and amalgamated the media is, and just how easy it would be to live without both those institutions. Media consolidation, in my opinion, is the problem. End that, and we’ll see better and more diverse writing. And then, if there’s a strike, the whole damned industry won’t fall to it’s knees. It’s called “balance.”


  9. mad_adder says:

    I consider myself fortunate to actually know Eric. He’s just having a good time with this article. For him, his car is very serviceable. Although he does NOT have a $100,000 car………….,it isn’t laughable.

    On second thought…………….,YES IT IS! YES IT IS!! God knows it is! Ha! Ha! Ha!

  10. micky2 says:

    Hollywood and TVs are bad for the environment.

  11. Jersey McJones says:

    For the intellectual environment, in general, yes.


  12. Jersey McJones says:

    “stricker’s affect”

    I think I momentarily went insane…

    “strikers effect”

    Sorry ’bout that.


  13. micky2 says:

    I threw my TV out a 20th story window and it landed on a writer.
    What a mess. had to pay a littering ticket and buy some credits.
    Oliver Stone wants to do a movie around the story but now theres one less guy to write about it

  14. blacktygrrrr says:

    I just reached 100,000 hits. YYYYYAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!

    From March 11th, 2007 to January 24th, 2008. 10 1/2 months, 100,000 hits.

    Now to do better.

    eric :)

  15. micky2 says:

    All cuz of my stupid joke ?
    Throw that guy a Cannoli

  16. micky2 says:

    Dont mind me eric.
    Congratulations man. I’ll bet money you do better

  17. Jersey McJones says:

    Micky, don’t count yourself out, we’re a little part of this and that’s good enough for us, right? :)

    Congrats Eric, I wish I could do with my blog what you’ve done for yours. You are a tireless writer. You put stuff out there, if I may paraphrase, and that’s a great thing in and of itself.


  18. Cobalt says:

    Hi-five on the 100K hits, Eric! I’ll continue to look forward to your writings, as well as the discussions they generate in your comments section.

    (Micky and Jersey: I’m glad that you’re regulars here too.)

  19. Nick says:

    Awesome writing. I have been following since Erica G told me to vote for you. (Which I did… so add that to the list of know legitimate voters)
    That last bit on self happiness was especially enjoyable. Not enough people are satisfied with their own lives. You haven’t read Ayn Rand by any chance, have you?

  20. Stormwarning says:

    ATTENTION MVOLPE (or mvolpe1), Rudy was not a conservative as Mayor of NY. I used to live there. He was not conservative. Was he a “law and order” guy? Sure he was. He cleaned up NY City and got rid of the street bums cleaning car windshields at traffic lights.

  21. Jersey McJones says:

    It was more than that, Stormwarning. There were entire blocks that were off-limits even to the police in pre-Giuliani New York. It was a big change. He took his cue from what was going on in paces like Wisconsin at the time – community policing, welfare-to-work, etc. He got lucky too. The Roe v Wade generation has been quite sociable. The global trade balance worked better for people in the 90’s than it has recently – and that’s not saying much. New York gained from all this. Smalltown USA pretty much stayed the same, or worse yet, Walmart came to town and closed all the small businesses. Giuliani is a product of his times, I just wonder if this is a good time.


  22. charly martel says:

    Congratulations Eric. Especially like today’s installment.

    “I recommend that if any man does not have them, grow a pair immediately. For those who are female, grow something that makes you act in the same tough and dignified way men act when they have aforementioned appendages.”

    I think that would be a spine. Invertebrates, sad to say are not endangered species. Worms and jellyfish abound.


    “I think you’ll find more peace in accepting that if any of these people haven’t grown up by now they never will.”

    Wish I could, but you’re very right. (Heavy sigh) (see above)


    Finally you said something I can agree with. Then you had to drag Walmart into Guiliani’s New York record. Talk about non-sequiters…sheesh.


    Law and order is good. I’ll settle for that over McPain and the Ken doll. But you’re absolutely right about supporting the GOP nominee. The dems MUST NOT be elected, no matter how tightly we have to hold our noses.


    “I can only hazard that so many politicians use religion as a hammer because it’s easier to get excited about abortion (killing babies), stem cell research (playing God), and same sticks marriage (an abomination) than to rally around inheritance tax or encouraging entrepreneurs…”

    It’s so they don’t have to think. Religion passes along good values the easy way. You don’t have to understand or know anything – just obey. That’s not to criticize religion. It’s certainly far better than unrestrained hedonism and amorality.

  23. Stormwarning says:

    Rudy Giuliani has been recreated for this election campaign. He is not a conservative. Some back in the days of his term as mayor, questioned if he was a Republican. He has horrible judgment in people (see Bernie Kerik) and has a haritrigger temper. I have no idea who McPain and Ken doll are. I take it that you are prone to name calling when nothing else comes to mind. Rudy Giuliani was about to leave office as a mediocre mayor until those planes hit the World Trade Center.

  24. Jersey McJones says:

    Actually, stromwarning, Giuliani was a lot more popular than the press made him out to be prior to 9/11. The whole 9/11-ization of Giuliani is a rather simplistic myth. Giuliani really did a lot to clean up New York, in almost every sense of the word. On the other hand, he had eight years and never really finished the job. Bloomberg, on the other hand, has truly brought New York to a new golden age. Giuliani tried for years to end the crooked and stupid local school district system, reign in the boards, and centralize the system, Bloomberg actually accomplished it. Giuliani favored big business over small and small business had a hard time in New York, Bloomberg set that right, and so on.

    And, ya’ know, I have to wonder, just how conservative do you think a mayor of New York (or a governor of Mass) can really be? Do you think Giuliani would ever be elected by New Yorkers if they thought has was genuine conservative? New Yorkers have no patience for that crowd. They’re too smart.


  25. AL says:

    Jersey, This is not news to you, but the Gray Lady has spoken: “The real Mr. Giuliani, whom many New Yorkers came to know and mistrust, is a narrow, obsessively secretive, vindictive man who saw no need to limit police power. Racial polarization was as much a legacy of his tenure as the rebirth of Times Square.”

    I infer from your earlier post that crime was so bad in certain neighborhoods, the police weren’t allowed to bust it up… so he is being chastised by the paper for challenging organized crime, or am I reading something into it that isn’t there? or a different reason…? The McCain endorsement surprises me.

  26. Stormwarning says:

    Actually, Jersey, no, I don’t believe that a person can be elected Mayor of NY City as a conservative. I think that’s the point. Rudy may have done good things as Mayor (but that’s what you’d expect, especially after Dinkins and Beam). Rudy benefited from the Cold War dividend and the increases in funding to law enforcement. That helped to reduce crime in NYC. He got rid of the squeegie guys and he tried to stop people from spitting on the street. Sorry, I may not live there now, but I did then. He’s not a secret to me as he is to people outside of the NY Metro area.

    Rudy is a bully…his people judgment sux…Rudy is no more conservative than I am. He may be a Republican but not a conservative. He cheating on his wife with Judy Nathan while Donna Hanover and kids were living right there in Gracie Mansion. And his temper flares with almost no provocation. He’s the wrong man for the job. Nothing you can do or say will sway my opinion

  27. David M says:

    The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the – Web Reconnaissance for 01/25/2008 A short recon of what’s out there that might draw your attention, updated throughout the day…so check back often.

  28. charly martel says:


    McCain=McPain – A man who gives me one whenever I think of his record.

    You haven’t heard Romney called the Ken Doll? (Because he always looks so plastic and perfect.) I don’t much like his record, and maybe I’m not being reasonable here, but his manner bothers me. He seems defensive and whine-y. (I know, now I sound like some liberal. Eeeeew!)

    Guiliani seems the best of a bad lot, but Its a long wait until I have to make up my mind. Primary here not till June.

  29. Jersey McJones says:


    It’s true that a lot of New Yorkers, especially some of the Upper-Siders, Village people, and some minorities did not care Giuliani’s heavy-handed crack downs on “quality of life” crime. But these people hadn’t a clue what some parts of the city were really like. I hung out in some of the seediest places in pre-Giuliani NYC, and believe you me – he made a HUGE difference, even if by “he” I mean “things got better on his watch for lots of reasons.” (Yeah, I was kinda wild when I was young)

    “..he is being chastised by the paper for challenging organized crime, or am I reading something into it that isn’t there? or a different reason…?”

    No, it was the heavy-handed crack downs on the “quality of life” crimes – busting pot dealers, turnstyle jumpers, loitering riff raff, etc. Also, a lot of people, including myself, thought that he was too pro-wealth and not pro-work – making it easy for big business and high-end home buyers to move in while virtually pushing out small business and affordable housing. His mafia-fighting days were more before he was mayor, and if anything that’s what made him a viable candidate in the first place.

    “The McCain endorsement surprises me.”

    Not me. McCain is the best of the GOP lot, by far. I may well vote for him in November if he gets the nod. He seems to genuinely care about America more than his personal attainment and partisan ideology. The last thing we need is another status quo partisan.

    Well, Stormwarning, I really can’t argue with any of what you said. I doubt I could vote for him either, even if the Hill goes all the way Blue. (Yes, I’m an old school ticket splitter)


  30. AL says:

    Jersey, Good intel. I’m a little concerned about McCain’s temper, but considering the alternatives, I’m almost sold… My front-runner was Thompson, but that was based more on comparing his most recent policies/positions against mine… I needed to see more…and still do.

  31. Jersey McJones says:

    Thank you, Al. Well, maybe that’s one good thing about the front loaded election – we have plenty of time to check these guys out. Richardson was my guy, so I know how you feel.


  32. tim b says:

    Shannon is so early 90’s.


  33. Disgusted Yankee says:

    Great blog I stumbled into.
    This particular post should take solace in Diana West’s book
    The only problem is, it’s too strong a medicine for the general public and tweaks too many ulcer bags but tracks very well with this wonderful blog.
    Keep up the good work.

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