More fun with Evan Sayet

At the recent Republican Jewish Coalition conference in San Francisco, Evan Sayet entertained the crowd. Despite police officers asking him to leave, he insisted that he was invited.

I took that dig at him because when I called in to his radio show and told him that he was smarter than me, he replied, “Yes, and I am also handsomer.”

I would tell Evan that he is “full of it,” but given that we both celebrate Passover, he would argue that after eating Matzoh for two days, that would be expected.

Evan is a friend of mine, and I always enjoy seeing him. His book is available for pre order at Amazon. It is entitled “Hating What’s Right: How Liberals Wind Up On The Wrong Side of Every Issue.”

Evan should be receiving an invoice for $5 in the mail, not including postage due on the envelope.

Awhile back I interviewed him.

Anyway, the guy is hilarious, and I am glad to know him. Below are some great lines from his most recent comedy routine.

“Jews could never be in charge of capital punishment. They would get home and be like ‘Did I leave the electric chair on?'”

“Ted Kennedy should be in charge of global warming. After all, he knows about rising water levels, he looks like a glacier, and he is often concerned about a lack of ice.”

“All the great empires tried to take over the world. Rome tried to take over the world. England tried to take over the world. We don’t even take over Canada. We have a military, they have Celine Dion.”

“We are good people. We did not steal cable from the Sudanese. When they were hacking a million heads, they might have hacked the one who was the cable guy.”

“Of course Jesus was Jewish. He lived at home until he was 30, and then took over and expanded his dad’s business. Mary was absolutely a Jewish mom. She rode Joseph’s @ss all the way to Bethlehem.”

“Hillary Clinton claims she has experience. Being married to Bill means she was the only woman in the White House not getting more experience.”

“There are areas where liberals and conservatives can compromise. Liberals will stop calling conservatives Hitler. They will compromise on Himmler. On gun control we can compromise. There will be no guns allowed for people with criminal records, psychological records, and Streisand records. On 9/11, when the towers were hit, we should have explained to the liberals that the event created a hostile work environment.”

“Christians and Muslims have to believe. Jews just have to be born of a Jewish mother.”

“I played my comedy routine in Dearborn. They put me up at the Ramadah.”

“Women may be voting for Obama, but it is hard to hear them underneath the Burkha.”

“Every time Mitt Romney mentioned Brigham Young, others thought of Bill Clinton.”

“Democrats are like children. In kindergarten, democrats are taught ‘don’t hit.’ Democrats now say ‘war is not the answer.’ Democrats are children. That is why Jesse Jackson talks in rhyme.”

“Liberals think they are smarter because they stray in school longer. They make arguments about how evolved they are, and evolution in general. We evolved from monkeys because we are better able to survive. What about the monkeys? Well, they survive too. As for the events, they were random and spontaneous, like Sandy Burglar, Monicagate, and Hillary’s billing records.”

“It is getting more difficult for democrats to play the race card. They are down to the last two jokers.”

“There was no vast right wing conspiracy. The Clintons were just sh*ts.”

“Al Queda is having a problem with recruits. AFter all, where do suicide bombers reenlist?”

“Cindy Sheehan is proof that some body types should not wear short pants.”

“Democrats think everything is relative. After all, one man’s genocide is another man’s mulch. One man’s rape and torture is another man’s weekend at South Beach.”

“Abu Gharaib involved putting panties on heads. That was my freshman year at college.”

“If we end up with socialized medicine, where will Canadians get a doctor?”

“Dennis Prager told Jerry Falwell that he will only stay Jewish until Jesus returns. Sounds good to me.”

Evan is right politically, and from a comedy standpoint as well. I only wish he had the pull in Hollywood to bring back the writers’ strike.

Now buy his book. When you go to the book signing, let him know that I am significantly more handsome than he is.


6 Responses to “More fun with Evan Sayet”

  1. micky2 says:

    If that book signing is in Hawaii I’ll be the first one in line. And even though I have no clue what you look like, I’ll tell him anyway.

  2. parrothead says:

    That’s funny. I know what Eric looks like so I am betting Evan (who I haven’t seen) is right ;-)

  3. TRM says:

    “Jewish until Jesus returns” thats a good one….

  4. Ortho says:

    Dear Sir,

    Thank you for writing about Evan. I did not know who he was until your post. I will be sure to keep an eye on this clown.

    Yours truly,

  5. Jersey McJones says:

    Ditto what TRM said. I feel the same way, even though I’m not Jewsih.


  6. HA says:

    “Of course Jesus was Jewish. He lived at home until he was 30, and then took over and expanded his dad’s business. Mary was absolutely a Jewish mom. She rode Joseph’s @ss all the way to Bethlehem.”


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