THE TYGRRRR EXPRESS

Today will be one of those days where my words will be completely jumbled, because that is where my thoughts are. So much has occurred in such a short time span, that to process it all would make sense. Instead, I will write without processing things, bringing you my half baked column that will lack everything except sincerity.

I do have more meetings with muckety mucks to discuss, but real life muck comes first.

In real life news, my Uncle Joey, who has never had a health problem, is going in for quintuple bypass surgery. He is not an uncle by blood, but he and my Aunt Debby have been best friends with my parents for over 40 years. My Uncle Joey has always been a calm sounding board for me when things with my dad were tough. My dad had his own bypass surgery earlier in the year, and while it was only a single, it was not as successful as originally thought. Nevertheless, my dad is an amateur now compared to my uncle. Five bypasses are needed, and all I can do is pray. I ask others to do the same.

When my mother emailed me earlier today, the only thing I could express to her was, “It just does not stop.” He is in my prayers.

Anything I could say on other matters would be trivial, but shutting out the world is not how I do things.

If it was not for things with my uncle, I would be in a jubilant mood right now. The evil empire of basketball, aka the Los Angeles Lakers, suffered a historic collapse yesterday. Make no mistake about it. They are down, but not out. Until the stake is driven through their heart, they are alive. If the Celtics win on Sunday, it would be a sweet Father’s Day indeed. Well, for me anyway. My father could care less about sports. His favorite sport is grousing, and they do not give awards for that. Besides, as a republican he would not be in the top 1000 grousers.

A close friend of mine asked me the other day why I hated the Lakers so much. I will answer that question after the NBA Finals, regardless of who wins.

I have been harshly critical of Kobe Bryant, but I give him credit for a press conference that was lacking in self pity and blame, and chock full of talk of responsibility and crystal clear analysis. His best comment in answering why the Lakers blew a 24 point was, “We wet the bed. It was not a little one. It ws a big one, where a whole blanket would not cover it. We blew it.”

Whether Kobe was saying what people wanted to hear, or whether he has truly grown, is not for me to decide. We all evolve, and I used to have an intense dislike of Shaquille Oneal that went beyond basketball. I realized one day that my criticisms of him had no basis in fact, and that I was wrong. I do not see that happening with Kobe, but his press conference was appropriate. He did not make excuses. He did not blame the referees. He simply stated that as terrible as the team felt, he was going to go to work tomorrow and try and win the next game. He was professional.

While many kids can learn positive ways of dealing with adversity, which I never ever thought I would say in the same sentence as Kobe, kids can also learn from the Celtics. I wrote a column about Tony Romo awhile back on the same subject.

The Celtics were down by 24 points, and even down by 20 halfway through the third quarter. A special honorable mention has to go to coach Doc Rivers. Rivers cited Superbowl Champion Indianapolis Colts Coach Tony Dungy in one of his speeches during an earlier game, and the comparisons are valid. Rivers, like Dungy, stayed calm, and expected his team to do the same. Dungy’s main expression is, “Do what we do.” Rivers says, “Let’s get the little things right.” Yes, these may seem like cliches, but motivation does not have to be original to inspire.

The series is not over, and one player on the Celtics was quoted the statistic that no team in NBA history has won the NBA Finals when being down three games to one. The player responded that the statistic was meaningless, because the Lakers could be the first to do it. After all, it was the Lakers that almost came all the way back from being down by over 20 points earlier in the series.

In sports, as in life, one does not stop until the final gun has sounded. To bring it back to my uncle and my dad, as long as they are alive, I will pray for them. My grandmother is gone, but not until she had extracted every ounce of life that she wanted. My father and uncle will not live forever, but now is not the time for either of them to go. I know I have no say in the matter, but my uncle is not a quitter. The doctor will do his job, and my family will all take it from there.

Completely reversing gears, again keeping in mind that my brain is like a pinball machine on tilt, I still wish Kevin Garnett would have remained with the Minnesota Timberwolves for reasons unrelated to basketball. I thought it was cool to have a player on the Wolves who actually looked like a wolf. I am aware that this statistic interests only me, but any man with his kind of goatee and stare in his eyes belongs on a team named after Wolves. I always wondered if I met Kevin Garnett, would he let me call him “Wolfie,” since I used to have a dog by that name. I mean it as a compliment, but he might not take it that way. Anyway, I hope Wolfie leads the Celtics to another championship.

As for the various shocks occurring in my family in Florida and the basketball game in Downtown Los Angeles, I was not around for either event. The call from my mother went unanswered, but at least I got her email. I left the game at halftime, and did not tivo it since it seemed over. Ok, fine, I tivoed O’Reilly and Hannity instead.

I was within walking distance of my home attending a political debate at UCLA. It was meant to be a civilized debate, but unfortunately it nearly turned into a WWE smackdown. I will go into greater detail in the coming days, but a peace activist heavily involved with the promotion of the event apparently favors peace for everybody except conservative republicans. I know the man personally, and he has always treated me kindly, despite our differences. He even shook my hand before the event. Therefore, I will wait until my head is clearer before elaborating on an act of left wing hostility in the name of peace.

I will say that it is not the man’s politics that bothered me. It was abusive behavior towards a republican friend of mine whose only real crime was being republican and existing. It was simply ideological bigotry, which seems to go hand in hand wherever liberals, especially liberal Jews, congregate.

I have liberal friends. Heck, the Chicago Cannonball is liberal. It is not about the politics. It is about some people spreading love and others spreading anger in the name of tolerance.

As long as I blog, I will do my best to advance a conservative republican agenda without denigating those I disagree with.

Anyway, I could mention we live in a world that is going down hill fast, since the liberals on the Supreme Court want Guantanamo Bay prisoners to be treated like common criminals. Justice Kennedy really messed this one up, but I am still glad I live in a nation where I can criticize Justice Kennedy without getting shot.

I think we should deport all Gitmo detainees to San Francisco, preferably in a prison near Nancy Pelosi. I do not wish any harm on the Congresswoman. I just wish to prove that she is another NIMBY (not in my back yard). We have to put these people somewhere. Unless Congresswoman is willing to place them in a liberal democratic district, then she should back off. The Gitmo detainees have more human rights than American taxpayers.

As for the Chicago Cannonball, she is back in Los Angeles tonight. She is a fabulous human being, and I will not let the events in my life mar her visit. She is supportive, but she needs to receive support as well.

Besides, she will play an important role this weekend. She is helping me purchase a new cellphone. My current one has some digits that do not work, so my text messages are garbled hieroglyphics. Also, I cannot check my messages because my password contains one letter and one number that do not work.

Contrary to what people think, throwing objects against walls does not fix them. Two negatives do not always result in a positive.

Also, the Chicago Cannonball will be helping me crawl to my car after I play football tomorrow. The kids that play now are younger, faster, and everything-er more than me. I may need surgery myself after playing a game I should have retired from a decade ago.

Yeah, that is me. Making jokes during serious situations. It is how I cope. My Uncle will be fine, and then I can worry about my struggles, not only in playing football, but in getting out of bed before noon on a weekend to make it to the park.

Fireworks and shocks are overrated. I could use a calm blue ocean right about now.

I could also use a beverage. Forget gasoline. Why is soda over $1 a gallon?

I do know that like my car, I don’t have time for diet soda, which tastes like unleaded. My brain is fried, and I am going to fill myself up with regular.

Yeah, my dad has diabetes, but on days like today, either I get a beverage with flavor or I will go bonkers.

Oh, and mentioning Paris Hilton and Anna Nicole Smith are solely to drive up the number of hits on this column from search engines. Now that those people are here, please pray for my Uncle Joey so I don’t have to blister you for what you look for online.

Ron Paul suspended his Presidential campaign. Nearby, a tree fell in the forest.

Oh, and as David Letterman pointed out last night, between the salmonella scares on tomatoes and lettuce, the healthiest part of a BLT is not the bacon.

Bacon comes from pigs, and pig valves save lives in many heart patients. My dad has an artificial valve, and his valve is how I like my soda…artificial, not natural.

There. Now I have covered everything, and wrapped it up in an incredibly messy uneven bow.

eric

This entry was posted on Friday, June 13th, 2008 at 9:10 am and is filed under POLITICS, SPORTS, Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.