Israel Bound

The Tygrrrr Express is Israel Bound.

The Chicago Cannonball and I are headed to Israel. A friend of mine is getting married in Jerusalem.

I have never been to Israel before, and I honestly have no idea what to expect.

Many people just assume that being Jewish and being to Israel are synonymous. My heritage is Brooklyn, specifically the Coney Island area.

I have had every chance under the sun to go to Israel for free, and I was too dumb to do it. For Jewish people between the ages of 18 and 26, there is a trip called “Birthright Israel.” Again, it is free.

I am determined to go into this trip with an openminded attitude.

Having said that…hell yeah, I’m scared!

I keep hearing how safe Israel is, and how the people feel safe there. Please. It’s a war zone. I am entering a war zone.

Oh wait, I am supposed to be openminded.

I will be in Tel Aviv for three days in a luxury hotel by the Port. I will then be in another luxury hotel in Jerusalem for three days, before flying home and going straight to work, where I will sleep at my desk.

The one thing I promised myself is that upon leaving the United States, I will follow the advice of 1980s singer El Debarge in his song “Rhythm of the night.”

“Forget about the worries on your mind. You can leave them all behind.”

Human beings have worries. It is part of being human.

Yes, I have things at work that really need to be taken care of. The boss made it clear that it can wait until I get back. I am on vacation, and I will not be bringing work with me or checking my company email. As much as it hurts to admit, I am far from indispensable. The company survived long before I arrived, and the firm will remain strong upon my one day leaving.

Nevertheless, so many people have to work on vacation. I am thrilled that I will not.

I will also not be following the Presidential campaign.

Barack Obama and John McCain will not be spending their time focusing on my trip. Mr. Obama just had a birthday, and he did not invite me to his party. Therefore, my time in Israel will be free of both of them. Fox News and CNN will have to survive with one less viewer. MSNBC might not survive with one less viewer, but that is their problem.

Politics is important. The decision on who should lead the free world is relevant. Yet some people believe that it will affect their ability to enjoy life. That should not happen.

John McCain and Barack Obama will be wearing suits in the heat of August, groveling for votes. I will be relaxing.

International politics will not be on the agenda. I will not be visiting the Gaza Strip. I will not be wearing any controversial t-shirts, unless people really detest Guns n Roses. I will not be singing about bombing Iran.

I am a guest in a foreign country, and I refuse to feed the stereotype of the ugly American. My mouth will be shut, and my eyes and ears will be wide open.

The stock market will do whatever it decides to do, and my location will have zero impact. 10 years ago I was on a cruise to Mexico with my parents. They caught me watching the stock ticker on the cruise ship, and pulled me out of my room.

I am older now. I value time more. It is finite, and seems to move so rapidly. I refuse to be somebody jailed by his own finances.

As for the National Football League, everybody should be allowed one obsession exemption. The minute news breaks out, I expect to be informed. I just have not figured out the logistics.

Blogging will take a semi-holiday. My columns are prepared in advance, with minor adjustments as events on the ground dictate.

For instance, If Israel bombs Iran, I may have to adjust my “This is a beautiful, peaceful, quiet trip,” column.

Other than that, the Chicago Cannonball and I will shop, enjoy the beach (well she will, I hate the beach), enjoy the nightclubs and discos, and experience cultural and spiritual beauty.

Also, I am determined to find the Zohan. I will have to do that by myself, since the Chicago Cannonball has no patience for such stupidity. To her consternation, I apparently tolerate an abundance of it. I know the Zohan is out there, and he cannot hide forever.
The bottom line is that there is a big wide world out there, and while a brief visit will not make me an expert, it will enrich me.

My tivo is set to record the Raiders and the 49ers in my absence.

Other than that, the Chicago Cannonball and I will relax next to each other on the plane, and sleep soundly.

No, this is not Canton, Ohio, but it could still be very special.

I am sure when I reach the Wailing Wall, I will be overcome with a flood of emotions. For those who require prayers at the wall, I am happy to offer them.

I just worry about being in a third world area where lawlessness and crime run rampant. Then again, despite my stopover in New Jersey, as long as I stay in the airport and do not roam the Jersey streets, I should be safe once I get to Israel.

(Like Israel, I keep hearing that Jersey is safe. I remain skeptical)

To quote the lead character from an old MTV program, “Celebrity Deathmatch,” all I can say is that, “at this point it’s all over but the shouting.”

Israel bound, on the ground, safe and sound.

That will be the narrative.

eric

17 Responses to “Israel Bound”

  1. Micky 2 says:

    All I can say is that if Israel did start bombing Iran while you were there you should have one hell of a post to offer us.
    Be safe my friend.

  2. lauren says:

    you have nothing to worry about! Israel is so different from how its portrayed in the media. check out this blog it will give you as sense of the more cultural side of Israel.

    canadasisrael.ca

  3. infidel308 says:

    I would say ‘God speed’, but uh, you know what I mean.

  4. infidel308 says:

    Just be sure to duck if you hear someone shout ‘allahu akbar’.

  5. My friend Michael, a Latvian Jew, once told me that Israel is sorta like Southern California, but with less shooting! LOL!

    Say “hi” to Jersey for me!

    Take pictures to share!

    And have a safe, fun trip!

    JMJ

  6. Laree says:

    Eric

    You need updates from home here is one about Nancy Pelosi Book she has sold 2,737 copies so far. Now do you think she has gotten the message Americans not so happy with her leaving with out a Vote on Energy Bill?

    http://www.drudgereport.com/flashnpb.htm

    We have how many more years of Pelosi as speaker of the house?

  7. There’s another way of looking at this, :aree – maybe Pelosi is not nearly the nationally recognized figure you guys on the Right think she is. All this “Pelosiraptor” bashing is only preaching to the Fox “News” audience choir.

    Given that the GOP is now back to being a long-term minority, don’t expect Pelosi to leave her posittion anytime soon.

    JMJ

  8. Micky 2 says:

    It didnt take FOX news to make Pelosi the idiot that she is.
    How imaginative, how creative.
    Whenever some one is in question its Bushs or FOXs fault.

    I dont know about long term minority. You state that as a fact.
    What ? didja bust out yer crystal ball again ?
    Let her stay, it just re enforces what a useless congress this has ever been.
    Of course, we’ll all be walking to work if she could have it her way

  9. Micky, what I’m saying is that Pelosi is not well-known to the general American public. She’s a bogeywoman of the fringe Right, but that’s about it.

    As for GOP minority status in the House, I’d suggest picking up a paper once in a while. The numbers for the GOP are not good, regardlesss of McCain’s probable victory in November. This silly “drilling” issue on the Hill has been stifled by a smart Pelosi. It will only serve to rally the base a little. But the numbers show that base to be small (36% of the overall voters, tops). Don’t expect a GOP retuirn anytime soon. The only way they could get the House back is if Obama wins and is unsuccessful in his first term.

    JMJ

  10. Micky 2 says:

    Shes known well enough to those of us that are politically inclined.
    She is no bogeywoman, she knows exactly what shes doing by not even allowing a vote in whether to drill or not.
    NO VOTE ? So much for democracy huh ? She’s on Obamas pocket and you and I know it.
    You just want to minimnize her like everything else so as to disproportionatly expand the reactions on the right.
    Your game is repetative and all too easy to figure out.

    As far as you suggestion goes if you are going to percieve drilling as silly then its only evident that any position to take on your attitude towards congress will be favorable of the largest collection of clowns in one place at one time this couuntry has ever seen.

    Even the man Pickens that you have constructed an altar for wants to drill. But of course you probably know that and wont mention it so as to not contradict your anti drilling platform.
    What numbers would those be ?
    The polls that you have no faith in unless they support you argument ?
    In two years we shall find out, you cant predict that any more than who will win the presidency. And that in itself looks like it will be a close race which means that the odds one way or the other are about 50/50 that we could se a change on the hill. You said it yourself, “only if Obama wins”.
    And then theres other 50 thats against them…They suck !!!
    Gimme a break.

  11. http://www.newsweek.com/id/143921

    http://people-press.org/report/319/public-knowledge-of-current-affairs-little-changed-by-news-and-information-revolutions

    http://www.quinnipiac.edu/x1295.xml?ReleaseID=990

    So much for Nancy Pelosi (or the knowledability of conservatives).

    As for “drilling” it’s a total bs issue. The only reason the cons want a vote is because they know it won;t pass. It won’t even pass enough to come up for a vote with or without Pelosi – let alone what would happen in the Senate.

    No one is topping the oil companies from drilling. They just want more land and sea for future profiteering. They can go to h@ll. Let them drill on what they have now or take it away from them. This is OUR resource, not sleazy, cannibalizing profiteers.

    JMJ

  12. Micky 2 says:

    Here it is, thought I lost it.
    Pickens says plain as day that we should drill everywhere as much as we can so as to get off of foreign oil and put as much into the domestic system as possible.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VC8s7VipVic

  13. I agree. We should DRILL – not just hand over more land to those sleazy oilmen to sit on while prices go through the roof. We could use some more REFINERIES too, but I don’t see the oil companies clamouring for that! LOL!

    I can’t believe people are really falling for this shlock. 70% of American’s are pathetic.

    JMJ

  14. Micky 2 says:

    “not just hand over more land to those sleazy oilmen to sit on while prices go through the roof. We could use some more REFINERIES too, but I don’t see the oil companies clamouring for that! LOL!”

    Whay part about the leased land not being viable that has been explained by every expert did you and the rest of the moonbats not get ?

    Backasswards. (LOL)
    Lets build the refineries before we even know were allowed to drill where we know there is oil ?
    (LOL)

    Yea, and you’re so much smarter than the rest of the country and you ask where are the refineries when we dont even know if we’ll have the extra oil to refine yet. DUH

    Americans are not pathetic, they just wont fall for the environmentalist snow job that the other 30% are falling for.
    The false negative environmental aspects keep being mentioned over and over again when the country knows that drilling is way less harmful than it used to be.
    Just like the 68 million acres they keep bringing up.
    By now most people have heard the news that most of those acres have been proven useless and the ones with oil are too costly and too non productive to be viable in volume and expediency.
    We’re in a hurry here if no one had noticed, well, yea, congress doesnt seem to get it. They’ld like to wait another ten years and think we can just popcorn fart all this technology out our collective rumps overnight.

    In the mean time, go get a tire gauge.

    Now whos pathetic , huh ?

  15. Okay, Micky, so why do the oil companies hold leases on 68 million acres of “unviable” land and sea?

    Get real. Anyone fool enough to fall for this “drilling” nonsense needs their head examined (or they work for Exxon).

    JMJ

  16. Micky 2 says:

    I guess you’ve never been commited to a lease before ?

    You cant just ditch it when you want.

    They are awarded the lease before they explore Jersey. No one is going to let you explore on land un commited to the dollar.

    Get real and try to do something on someone elses land for free.

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