The Chicago Cannonball and I were prepared to make tonight about beaches and discos. We were not prepared for the most bizarre for of domestic terrorism the world has ever seen. Glass was shattered, and there was metal involved, but this will not make the newspaper.
Yes folks, BMX Terrorism is upon us.
Before getting to the violence, some brief updates on other matters.
The Packers deserve to go 3-13 instead of 13-3. The way Brett Favre was treated was sinful. It is a metaphor for deeper things I will go into at a later date.
Although I have watched virtually no television, my internet told me that John Edwards fessed up to having an affair. I stayed far away from it when it was first broken because there was only speculation, not evidence. I did remark that the Enquirer and Star Magazine have broken stories before, but this one I wanted no part of until it was confirmed. I will deal with it when I get back. I am on vacation.
Although I find the Olympics collosally boring, I caught a few minutes of the opening ceremonies. I was happy for China, and want all politics out of the Olympics. Then people can go back to being bored over sports few care about. The Chicago Cannonball remarked that Monaco does not need a team because only 8 people live there.
They are called the Olympic games because until the NFL gets involved, it is not a sporting event. That is my ugly American remark for the day. As I said, if we win, I might get a free fruit pie at McDonalds.
Yao Ming is tall. I have nothing else to add to that. He just is.
Now for the world of beaches, discos, and BMX terrorism in Israel.
We did not make it to the discos. We will do that tonight.
However, the beach was gorgeous. The restaurant bar on the beach was paradise. We had the Mediterranean Sea in front of us. We stayed until almost 4am.
Yet as much as most of the evening was peaceful, BMX Violence reined down.
The Chicago Cannonball and I were sitting at our table when glass and metal went flying.
We did not fear for our lives. However, this was BMX Violence at its worst.
The young boy was about 12 years, and while the bicycle he was riding may not have been BMX, I only know them, Schwinn, and Huffy. BMX sounds best.
Our table was the closest one to the bike path, and this boy veered towrds us. He was quite inebriated.
When his bike hit our table, our glasses spilled all over us. My black jeans were covered either in beer or diet Sprite. The Chicago Cannonball got doused as well.
The boy somehow managed not to fly across our table. He was polite, slurring the words “excuse me” in Hebrew, which the Chicago Cannonball translated.
I got up and rushed over to him just before he fell down. I held his bicycle up. This kid was blitzed.
Another guy said, “He may be drink.” I replied, “You think!”
The boy then laughed, unaware of anything that had occurred.
The man walked the boy away as we all laughed, since everybody was ok.
We moved over to the next table, and the waitress made it clear that “we were not going to be bombed here.”
Maybe so, but I am not sure we were totally safe either!
The people in nearby tables said that they had never seen that before. Some of them wanted to make sure that I did not blame all Israel for this one boy.
I told them tht I prayed that the boy was not American, since I did not want all Americans to be blamed either. Everyone laughed.
Yes, had we been in the Gaza Strip, and had the boy been Arab or Palestinian, perhaps the table would have exploded as soon as the boy made contact. I would not be laughing about it, that is for sure.
On a more serious note, I hope this boy’s parents discipline him, since in 4 years he might be driving a car.
Anyway, the land of milk and honey is not bad so far, although I have not tried any milk or honey.
I do look forward to the discos. They are indoors, which means the BMX Palestinian Hamas Hezbollah Cabal will not get to us inside.
Also, we were charged for our drinks anyway. Several Shekels should be taken from this boy’s allowance.
All is well, and I will be riding a bicycle tomorrow. If I see this boy, I will bike over to him and steal his ice cream while yelling “Allah Akbar.”
No, not really.
eric
So , I see Jerseys friends made it down from Haifa. :-)
The Zohan works in mysterious ways. You might want to look at the crack between the sofas in a different way.
Between the sofas ? :-(
Sorry. Between the mattresses.
Need coffee.