Carolina Bound

The Tygrrrr Express is Eastbound and Down, more specifically, Carolina Bound.

The Chicago Cannonball and I are traveling to Carolina for Thanksgiving with her family. We have been together for 8 months, and I am finally doing the “meet the parents thing.”

The trip almost did not come together. I could not figure out why the flight cost $2,500. Then I realized I entered CTL instead of CLT into the website and got Charleville, Australia, instead of Charlotte, North Carolina. Charlotte actually has the best sliding escalators at the airport. They are so long that I can sleep on them for a few minutes. If they would just turn the lights off it would be like the planetarium.

Then again, Charlotte is not the city they live in, so perhaps that will have to wait.

As for the visit itself, I am well prepared, and have been memorizing some scripture.

“Yay though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil for thou art with me.”

Ok, perhaps I am overstating the case.

I am sure they are good people. I mean they sure produced a daughter that is a kind human being.

Yet if I have anything in common with them, I hope to find out soon enough.

They are politically liberal. I am just going to keep my mouth shut. It is their home, and I will be respectful.

The Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn movie “Guess who is coming to dinner?” is in my head for some reason, which is funny given that I have it on tape but have never seen it.

They are not into football, so watching football is not going to be part of this Thanksgiving. Thankfully, the Detroit Lions are not must see television. I will be Tivoing the games and watching them on Saturday when I get home. After all, I will not be near anything that will spoil it, so hobby delayed is not hobby denied.

Perhaps having nothing in common with them is not a disaster. I have practically nothing in common with my own parents. Besides, her parents live 3000 miles away, which is where parents are supposed to live.

The Chicago Cannonball has a warm relationship with her parents. To me that sounds abnormal and dysfunctional, but I will not judge her harshly for this.

Some people think it is nice to live right near their parents. Perhaps they should watch the television show “Everybody Loves Raymond” for a reality check.

I think my main concern is that I do not know what to expect. I mean I do not expect it to be like Ben Stiller in “Meet the Parents.” I doubt they will prod and probe me like a lab rat.

I also know that I will not be blogging about the experience. These people deserve their privacy.

Also, as beautiful as the nature is in the Carolinas, and even though I will see beautiful trees of green and skies of blue, singing Louie Armstrong at the dinner table might be an idea better left unexpressed.

I guess the only thing I want them to see is that I genuinely care about their daughter.

Besides, this experience will be nothing compared to what awaits us in South Florida some time between December and March.

We have to introduce her to my parents.

To quote Lloyd Bridges in the movie “Airplane,” he was right when he said that he “picked a bad week to quit drinking, smoking, and sniffing glue.”

In a way the visit to my parents will be the same. Both adults will love her, and will hopefully be happy to see me. Ok, so it is not that bad, but uncertainty is not my favorite feeling.

At least I will not have 6 hours on a plane to think about all of this. I sleep very well on planes, and will probably fall asleep 15 minutes into the flight like always. So at least their will be some relaxation.

My stopover is in Minnesota, so perhaps I can arrive at that airport and punch a picture of Al Franken, or at least find a Norm Coleman campaign worker and give them a hug. Then again, they might ask me for money, so perhaps the hugging can wait.

One thing I am definitely looking forward to is a family style Thanksgiving dinner. My family never really celebrated Holidays. We observed the Jewish ones, but Thanksgiving was just another day. I would watch football in my room, and at some point I would eat a Swanson Hungry Man Dinner. When I am a husband and father, I want a Thanksgiving dinner as depicted on “The Cosby Show.”

Thank the almighty that her family eats meat. To quote Ray Romano when observing a “Tofurkey,” he said that he “would rather eat the box that it came in.”

For those thinking that I am dreading this experience, the only thing I dread in life is April 15th. I just want to get there already.

Anyway, life is what we make of it, and I am sure that the parents of the love of my life are good people.

Either way, I had better get back to listening to my stress relaxation tape on the plane.

“Yay though I walk through the valley of the shadow…”

Or I could read the newspaper I brought on the plane. The front page has an article about Al Gore.

Yep, that did the trick. Better than knockout drops.

The Tygrrrr Express is now Carolina Bound and blissfully incoherent.



5 Responses to “Carolina Bound”

  1. TaliT says:

    Wow, you sleep “very well” on planes?! That’s a first I’ve ever heard that from anyone lol. Well, it sounds like you are in for a good time with the parents, but I do hope you will decide to blog about it so we can know how it goes! Have fun!

  2. Micky 2 says:

    “One thing I am definitely looking forward to is a family style Thanksgiving dinner. My family never really celebrated Holidays.We observed the Jewish ones, but Thanksgiving was just another day. ”

    My father was Jewish and the one thing he loved about the Danish end of the family was the food during the holidays.
    As a Jew christmas was still his favorite because like you , growing up his family never celebrated anything.

    You’ll do well, I’m sure.
    From what little I’ve heard out of the Cannonball it sounds like if she tells her folks you’re the one, they’ll have no doubts.

    If you want you can have em call me for a character reference.


  3. They don’t like football? Oh man… I don’t know… ;) I’m wondering if they’re very political people. Imagine – endless going on about how wonderful Obama was elected, how the misery of the Bush years is finally coming to an end, how South Carolina is next on the red-to-blue list! LOL! If they ask you if you blog, just tell them you’re one of the Erics over at the Jewish Journal! LOL!

    Have fun!


  4. parrothead says:

    “One thing I am definitely looking forward to is a family style Thanksgiving dinner. My family never really celebrated Holidays.We observed the Jewish ones, but Thanksgiving was just another day. ”

    In my family we always celebrated Thanksgiving. We always viewed it as an American Holiday. My in-laws were much like your family in that they never cared much about it, but I think I have influenced them because we make a big deal about it and they usually join us.

  5. Micky 2 says:

    I want everyone to have a really great day and hope you get to share it with the things you truly are grateful for and love.
    Someone out there doesnt even have water to drink right now
    Doesnt matter if its your whole family or just a Big Mac I hope it brings you joy.
    God bless you all.

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