The Obama Checklist

Barack Obama has begun assembling his staff. I will give the guy credit. He is no dummy. He saw the from 1992 through 1994, the Clintons were colossal screwups. Obama has no intention of repeating their incompetence.

He began by picking Rahm Emanuel as Chief of Staff. I for one thought this was an excellent choice.

For those in the Jewish community that are celebrating, let me be clear when I say that the fact that Mr. Emanuel is Jewish has absolutely zero to do with his selection.

For those thast complain that Emanuel is a thug, they are right. However, this is not a problem since the post of Chief of Staff is nnot about a public face or anything connected to policy. The Chief of Staff is a gatekeeper. He has to be a ruthless authoritarian that inspires discipline. In plain language, a “Son of a b*tch” is a good choice.

The democrats are a bunch of undisciplined children. Barack Obama wants to be seen as an adult. Rahm Emanuel will keep the trains running on time.

Additionally, Emanuel is many things, but he is no liberal. He is a moderate DLC. He wants to win at all costs, which means getting liberals in a room, and slapping them upside the head until they act normal. Emanuel understands that liberals lose elections, and that the only way democrats can win is to either be moderate or pretend really well.

One of the reasons the democrats took back Congress in 2006 was because Emanuel recruited moderates and conservatives. Right wing democrats were acceptable. Emanuel hates liberals almost as much as he hates republicans. He wants a Democratic Leadership Council White House.

The next decision would be to choose a Secretary of State. I personally do not care who he picks. Secretary of State is a job you give to somebody you hate, or at least have zero regard for. Condoleeza Rice had to settle for the job after being unable to get the Secretary of Defense job. She also wanted to be Commissioner of the National Football League, which might have caused her to forget the State job altogether.

Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State would be thrilling. Obama would like to keep his friends close and enemies closer. Hillary would have a role, yet be subordinate to him. Best of all, she would have zero say in domestic policy, and New York would be free of her.

Personally I would like to see her take the job, have her successor enter the Senate, and then have Obama turn around and fire her, but that is wishful thinking. Either way, she could go on junkets, sip tea with dictators, make speeches, accomplish nothing, and have Obama pretend to care what she thinks.

John Kerry would be a good choice because he would get rolled in negotiations. He would make his boss look weak and ineffective. Negotiations would be pointless, and absolutely nothing would get accomplished. When democrats are in power, this is success. If you want to fail to accomplish anything, give John Kerry the job.

The Secretary of Defense job does matter. The best thing Obama can do is leave Robert Gates in power for at least a year. Not only would it be bipartisan, but more importantly, unlike the State Department, the Defense Department actually does things. We are at war. The transition should be seamless.

As for the rest, I am a believer in Presidential prerogative. The President should choose whoever he likes. Just because liberals were spoiled brats in 2000 when President Bush chose his Cabinet does not make it right. The winner gets to pick his own people.

So unless Obama picks Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson for anything other than walking the new puppy he bought his daughters, expect good choices.

I have decided to get on the bandwagon. I filled out the 63 question questionnaire required.

I personally have zero objection to most of the questionnaire. People should be vetted. While there is an irony in that Obama himself would wilt under such scrutiny, in addition to Bill and Hillary Clinton being unable to satiosfactorily answer the questions, the validity of much of the questionnaire is acceptable. Obama wants to avoid embarrassing screwups early in his term. This should not be criticized. Is he a hypocrite? Perhaps. Yet he is still doing the right thing.

So in the spirit of the new administration, below are my answers to the questionnaire allowing me to work in the Obama administration. The only stipulation I have is that I be given Sundays off, and Saturdays as well during the NFL playoffs.


1)    My resume is attached.
2)    I have stockbrokerage, commodity brokerage, and life insurance licenses in good standing.
3)    Due to the current financial crisis, some of these firms do not exist any more. In about 10 years there will only be one financial services firm. That is the one I worked for and will work for in the future.
4)    My brief stint as “Deuce Bigalow” proved unsuccessful.
5)    Other than lobbying my dad at age 10 for a raise in my allowance, I have no lobbying experience.
6)    I bought imitation silk sheets from a Chinese company through Ebay. The thread count made the transaction worthwhile.
7)    Those who love America should work here. I would never deprive my nation of money by working someplace else.
8)    Although pink shirt Thursdays usually pass without incident, attempts to implement “Commando Wednesdays” proved controversial.
9)    Bill Ayers, Jeremiah Wright and Radhid Khalidi are my references. I believe the FBI has their information.
10)    My screen name is blacktygrrrr. My blog is
It is the Tygrrrr Express. My book “Ideological Bigotry: Tales of a politically conservative and morally liberal Hebrew Alpha Male” will be available in 2009.
11)    I have never testified before Congress, although I would not mind if they testified before me. I have many questions to ask them about what they are doing with my tax dollars.
12)    I speak all the time, but not enough people listen. This is why the 2008 election went wrong.
13)    Embarrassment requires a sense of shame. Perhaps much of my communication would embarrass Mr. Obama, but I would not be fazed.
14)    Any shame my family would feel from anything I do would have to wait until I become famous to maximize the effect.
15-19) N/A—My dreams of owning anything of value died on November 4th, 2008.
20) As a member of the Republican Jewish Coalition, I am actively working to prevent Mr. Obama from winning reelection in 2012. If this poses a problem, I can keep quiet about such work.
21) Mr. Obama I am sure has access to my tax returns. Duplicating any work by reproducing them would be inefficient.
22) Net worth? I can provide a blank piece of paper.
23) I ripped up all of my brokerage statements in frustration due to the recent crash. However, I have a lovely box of confetti I can provide for Mr. Obama if he wants a ticker tape parade at his inaugural.
24) I do not borrow or loan money. Unlike reputable established companies like General Motors, I do not have access to billions I would default on.
25) I do not have a trust. Trust me.
26) I do not own any real property, fake property, or ambiguous property. Some guy from Arkansas did try to sell me property in the 1980s, but then he ran for President and I never heard from him again.
27) No mortgage. I do not even own a tree house or a doll house.
28-31) N/A—Multisyllabic words have no effect on those without rich Chicago or Arkansas connections.
32) Who the heck are these families giving $50,000 gifts? My entire Bar Mitzvah may have netted $5,000, and the school took it all.
33-35) Taxes? Do I look like a millionaire? (Picture enclosed)
36) Paying taxes is a penalty, and my penalties will increase when Mr. Obama raises them again.
37-41) Are the Clintons required to answer these questions? Look, I am so clean that I make a baby’s @ss feel like sandpaper. I am not a politician. I obey the law.
42-43) I tried to sue Santa Claus when I was 8 years old due to anti-discriminatory practices. My parents quashed the lawsuit, but as a Jewish person, I still say that fat red b@stard is an anti-Semite.
44) I have never filed bankruptcy, but I suspect Mr. Obama’s policies may force me to consider doing that.
45-49) I used to be a thief of hearts and a gangster of love, but I have reformed.
50) As stated earlier, Commando Wednesday was nixed due to the overwhelming number of unattractive people at work that favored it. It was supposed to only be for the pretty people.
51) I was told by my parents that I completely lack civility and judgment. So this bad behavior benefits me now.
52) I have no children that I know of, and I check milk cartons frequently.
53) My parents told me as a child that they were not my maid. Since I am not a liberal, there is no sense of entitlement. I do my own chores.
54-56) I do not hire other people, and once Mr. Obama takes over, this will be impossible.
57) If they only live with me for the night, does that count? Also, isn’t living together before marriage against the wishes of God? Are we now a Godless society?
58) My Space and Facebook are for people that want to promote themselves to the world. I want to be left alone. I am not your friend and wish you would stop contacting me about Christian Viagra Refinancing or Lesbian Vegans for Libya.
59) None of your d@mn business. The Second Amendment is law. Go ask Carl Rowan if he owns a gun. Then inspect Ted Kennedy’s car.
60) I am in perfect health. I am only 36, and not looking forward to what doctors do to men when they turn 40.
61) No. I do not associate with people connected to the Obamas or the Clintons. There are lord willing over one billion degrees of separation.
62) I am a republican. Every member of, Daily Kos, and Huffington Post hates me without having met me. I suggest deporting them to Guantanamo Bay.
63) Again, I am not related to the Clintons or the Obamas, so unsavory associations should not be a problem. In case I do not get this job, please let me know who your strongest opponent will be in 2012 so I can find somebody respectable to work for.

Because the Clintons were so lax in everything they did, I might have gotten the job in their administration. However, Obama’s people apparently actually read stuff, so I might not get the job.

Besides, working for Rahm Emanuel is not a form of suffering any good human being deserves.


19 Responses to “The Obama Checklist”

  1. This all should be no surprise to anyone. Obama is and has always been a “moderate,” mainstream Democrat in the Blue Dog vein, and choosing DLC-ers and such should, again, come as no surprise. Despite the paranoid lunacy of the far right, Obama is most definitely not a radical by any stretch. I think Emanuel gets a little too much credit for the Democratic revival, while Dean doesn’t get nearly enough, though. but by leaning toward the Emanuel types, Obama is showing that he intends to govern from the center. The trouble with this is that it will be hard to come by new progressive ideas, but the upside is that tehse guys can actually get things done, and may well surprise people like me by bringing the sorts of drastic change the country needs. We shall see…


  2. Micky 2 says:

    “Obama is and has always been a “moderate,” mainstream Democrat in the Blue Dog vein”

    “Obama is most definitely not a radical by any stretch. ”

    Ha !
    How bout that stretch during the primaries ?
    Hes an expedient liar at best, if he doesnt prove as radical as his stumps during the primaries lead us to believe then theres going to a lot of pi$$ed off far leftys who feel they got hosed.
    If hes not as radical as the pictures lead us to believe than hes just an outstanding illusionist who pulled the wool over a lot of heads.
    Hes already made it clear hes a big fat liar.
    I think bringing in Hillary along with Greg Craig, Philip Schiliro and new deputy chief of staff Mona Sutphen who works with Sandy Bergers consulting firm is just a hint of the stupidy we will see coming from this man.
    If he a cant see that too many Hillary loyalists around him will lead to anything but mutiny he is truly the idealistic kumbaya freak I always thought he was.

  3. What “stretch”? What “stumps?” I don’t recall Obama ever saying anything radical! Heck, I don’t recall him saying anything at all! ;) Just kidding, he did lay out some substance. Not much though. But hey, nowadays no political candidate lays out very many specifics on the campaign trail. It’s the nature of the political beast these days.

    And this bizarre fascination you guys have with Hillary is just so wierd. grow up already! She’s not “all that,” to use the popular slang. I never understood the whole love/hate relationship people have with her. What has she ever done to any of you? Just plain loony. And what choice does Obama have? The only Democratioc president we’ve had in 28 years was Bill Clinton – of oucrse Clinton administration people are going to come in again now. Look at GWB. His administration was full of old Reagan and Bush 41’ers – even some Nixon and Ford guys. A new president needs people with executive branch experience. These bureaucrats aren’t really “Clinton people” or “Reagan people” or whatever. Most of them are just plain bureaucrats with partisan leanings. That’s it.

    And to Eric’s whole :children” thing. Does you really believe that the Dems are any more or less “childish” than the GOP. Do you really think it’s a good thing for the GOP that their people tend to march in lock-step all the time? Look what happened this time (again)! They all marched right off a cliff!


  4. Micky 2 says:

    Obama won because of the right that would not march towards that cliff.

  5. You’ll have to explain that one, Micky.


  6. “Paying taxes is a penalty”

    And this line… this really gets to what’s ethically wrong with conservatism. Penalty? It your due! It’s your patriotic responsibility! It’s paying your bills! It’s paying for the right to be an American! It is the price of freedom!

    I find this to be a very morally corrupted, narrowminded and selfish point of view.


  7. Micky 2 says:

    To some extent beyond infrastructure maintanence(“our bills” as you say) it is a penalty, especially progressive taxation that penalizes success/progress/prosperity.
    Plain and simple.
    Theres nothing corrupt at all about keeping what you rightfully own. The people like myself who believe this have been found to be anything but morally corrupt as we are known to be the most charitable with our personal wealth regardless of of taxation

    “You’ll have to explain that one, Micky.”

    The real conservatives in this country did not have an attractive enough candidate and simply did not vote from the “lesser of two evils” mentallity.
    Many of them stayed home, away from the cliff.
    Had McCain acted more like a real con instead of trying so hard to attract what undecided or centrist votes he could get he could of stood a much better chance.
    Center right and even liberal right would of and did vote for him, while hard core cons like myself found him too kissy poo with the left.
    Regardless of that truth, I would I of voted I for him just to keep that jacka$$ out of office.

    “It’s paying for the right to be an American! ”

    WTF ???

  8. There will always be some expenditures that some people like and others don’t. I think our military’s price tag is too high. You think our welfare state is too expensive. I think there should be less police state, you think there should be more. I think there whould be more education spending, you think there should be less. It goes on and on. In our representative democracy, we vote to put people into office and a large part of what they are expected to do is collect taxes and spend them on what we want. If you don’t like what they’re spending it on – vote for someone else. If you’re so much in the minority that your vote just won’t do the trick, then you’re free to move to someplace where people are more like you.

    Taxes are not a penalty – they are a responsibility. Anyone who thinks otherwise is just being cheap and unpatriotic.


  9. “Many of them stayed home, away from the cliff.”

    If they stayed home then they have no right to complain about their taxes.


  10. Micky 2 says:

    “Taxes are not a penalty – they are a responsibility. Anyone who thinks otherwise is just being cheap and unpatriotic.”

    Tell me.
    Why should a guy making 10.00 pay 4.00 in taxes and the guy making 9.00 pay only 2.00 in taxes ?

    When you can tell me why the guy making 10.00 does not feel like his success has bee penalized I’ll shut up.

    Remember, I dont confuse issues in order to wiggle out of things.
    A welfare state does nothing to insure our safety, the military therefor is not a welfare state and has a definite purpose.
    In reference to your diversion the rejection is one of redistribution to those undesreved which is paid by the top 5% in this country.

    Its not what they’re spending it on, its how much they want to take from us on a progressive scale, stick to the point !

    “If they stayed home then they have no right to complain about their taxes.”

    They probably wont and will see to that the jacka$$ gets put out of office.

    “I think there should be less police state, you think there should be more.

    Pay attention, I’ve always said it should be prioritized, not enlarged.
    How could you forget that we have always agreed that the war on drugs is huge farce, gluttonous waste thats only purpose is to keep a certain industry afloat ?

    “they are a responsibility”

    That responsability should be equal, should it not ?
    If I “pay” more responsability do I get a greater say so in matters ?
    Should my vote and voice not count for more than the guy who pays no taxes at all ?

  11. Micky 2 says:

    “Taxes are not a penalty – they are a responsibility. Anyone who thinks otherwise is just being cheap and unpatriotic”

    So, I guess the guy whos down on his luck, poor, or just plain lazy is less of a citizen ?
    Less responsability means less patriotism, right ?

  12. How is being unlucky, lazy or poor being less of a citizen? How do you get that from what I said?

    Look, if you think paying taxes is a penalty, then do you also think buying food for your kids is a penalty? How about taking our the trash? Is that a penalty on you? Is it a penalty to have to live in an educated, healthy society? Is it a penalty to have raods, sewars, cops and firemen? And how can it be “equal?” If this country has been 10 times more beneficial to you, shouldn’t you be ten times as grateful?

    I think cons are just selfish and cheap.


  13. Micky 2 says:

    Look, its a penalty if I have to pay more to feed my kids than you do if you’re just sittin on your rump or whatever your problem is.
    Just like its a penalty to have to pay more on a scale to support my country simply because I make more.
    Takin out someone elses trash is the same as me paying for some schlubs welfare.
    And please, lets not argue stupidity and ignorance here.
    I already am on the record as saying we should all pay to ensure our infrastructure. So, go eat some ginko biloba or stop being disengenuous.

    “I think cons are just selfish and cheap”

    Think what you want, thats not what this is about.
    Its a fact that we are the most generous people in the country.
    Be it through faith based initiatives or independant charities
    We just dont throw bad money after bad by using emotion and the wants of a collective as the motivation.

    Your arguemet is incredibly weak.

    Now, answer my questions.

  14. Micky 2 says:

    Thats a riot.
    If Jersey were in charge of pricing at your local market you would have to pay more for a gallon of milk according to your income, and then probably have to buy some lazy slobs milk also.

  15. Laree says:

    Micky 2

    Collectivist are not about making any sense it is about “Fairness” you know making things even:)

  16. says:

    Your New Student

    Thanks. If I get in you have me. If I still don’t it will be time to surrender and join the Democrats to help Obama serving a second term for Jimmy Carter.

  17. says:

    From an eager contributor Fan

    Thanks Eric. I notice I am now automatically logged in to submit comments on any of your Boxes as long as I behave.

    It’s just the login name in which me email address appears for all to see. I promise you I won’t submit junk or spam stuff because I detest that on the Net but same time I don’t want all kinds of junk from people who look for ways to send that to any email address they can load. That’s why I once changed my email address and Password [to what it is now] after getting 30 to 40 offers for cheap prizes Viagra and the most amazing filth in my Inbox every day at a point in time.

    What I am thinking is would it be possible when you receive something from me that you change it to be from the name I have above, in this case Eager Contributor Fan, or like the first one the other day Your New Student. I like using names appropriate to every topic but I often use Ole Grandpaw or my real name. It’s just the email address that may be abused.

    I am sure there is a total block at WordPress for all Telkomsa mail in view of abuse in the past. We can’t obtain Blog facilities through Telkomsa at WordPress and my last email to you when I asked for progress was returned with a ‘’rejected, this a permanent’’ kind of thing or something to that effect. Our Son has an active Website and a WordPress Blog that he got no problem because he uses another local Service Provider for his Internet Connection. He is now looking into that for me but it may take some time.

    I like your Blog for many reasons, as you will see when I start submitting and you may use my knowledge and experience in any manner you deem appropriate in your Blog.

    It was convenient to use this article because you made the change to accommodate me in here AND I AM NOT DISTURBING OTHER TRAFFIC NOW THAT THIS BOX IS QUIET.

    Let me know in here of by email. I am anxious to start submitting my ongoing war with Time Magazine. They are my pet hate in the Media and they think you Bloggers are all hacks. I disagree, of course and will send you some examples of my artillery I use to blast them, in particular Joe Klein and Michael Kinsley. Two holier than though idiots!

    You may if you wish and if it is possible inform me by that ‘’request email notification of new comments’’ facility that many other Bloggers allow for.

  18. says:

    I read! If you want me to I shall tell you more, suffices for now I have read a bit. My favorites are history [the real stuff; older events, you know, not Hillary’s living History of this morning and yesterday] and biographies. I have read a fair number of them including Kennedy’s Thousand Days by Schlesinger, but I have not read many autobiographies; only a few are worth reading but Hillary’s Living History and Bill’s My Life are on my personal bookshelves.

    The fourth group I have read are financial affairs because I had spent more than forty years of my working life in pension funds by the time I retired this month exactly eight years ago. Actually that is only a virtual truth [like in virtual reality] because I walked out of the Pension Fund and Financial World in utter disgust. The crooks and conmen took the financial world over after 1990 and I could not stand it one more day by 1998 but hanged on because I had a little business, some old loyal deserving clients, and I was only 58 having been born on 1940. But I walked out of it when I reached 60, took a few months to clean up my personal affairs and tuned my back on it.

    You may wonder why I tell you this and there is a very good reason. I now watch [should say I have been watching] my old life from a distance and seen it falling apart. Please note, I am no big tycoon [never was] but when I said to my friends in 1995 and 1996 that our old world is being taken over by corruption even some of my old contemporaries thought I had had one glass too many.

    In short, though I did not, and never since, provide graphic details or statistics, I did tell them 2008 is coming, except only that I had predicted it for about 2004/5.

    Now the reason I am telling you this.

    I still followed the news after my retirement and observed the growing “investment bank” fraud and the whole shebang of derivatives, mortgage bond packages, and worthless paper of “investment instruments” based on worthless derivatives and hugely inflated values of investment banking Photostat paper investments that eventually spilled over into the mess last year. To conclude this tirade, I believe we have only seen the tiniest small tip of the iceberg yet.

    And final really final this time before I present my case, it is well known by people in the industry though hardly anyone else [and it is the latter group who have been caught for suckers to invest in the Photostat money business], well they don’t even know that in the investment world of today every corporation of any worthy size owns a stake in the other one. That is the cumulative result of derivatives, packaging and investment banking. Therefore, if one gets into trouble, the next one is in the same boat; if management and/or the executives steal all the real money in one corporation by the allocation of executive bonus and/or performance payments to leave just the derivative content behind [read Photostat money] the next corporation is in the same boat, or you may call it technically bankrupt with the first one.

    Now the point where I need you and you may use me but it needs a team.

    Time Magazine picked Obama two years ago already as next President. I have been following that love affair ever since.

    Time Magazine is a sizeable outfit but is merely one tentacle of a massive conglomerate with many tentacles. That place is huge.

    That huge place is rotten to the core!

    That huge place needs a Savior or someone to cover up for them.

    That cover-up has to be wide enough to include small banks through to Cabinet level and switchboard operators.

    Find all the arms and tentacles of the whole colossus and you have a story.

    Why did they pick Obama?

    He was available.

    He has a big ego.

    He doesn’t know a thing about finance.

    He doesn’t have a conscience or any morals.

    He has shown to be willing and he is the only guy who can dress a fraught cover-up as a bailout and present it as a stimulus

    He wants to be rich. I should call this Obama’s Private Agenda but there is no Blog Article by that name.

    Get my drift?

    How do we go about unraveling the Time Rag colossus with all the tentacles in ownership, shareholders, offshore production houses, auditors, and trusts? I bet you will find a very large sewage works.

    You may wish to keep this out of the Blogs; I leave it in your hands to decide. But I am reading Swampland [the Rag’s Blog arm] in the meantime. You must go into that too; that is if you want to heave.

    A small carrot for you: read The Plot against America by Philip Roth. It is not exactly the same, in fact not nearly, but the Media influence and the same deceit is in there too.

    Thanks for accommodating me.

  19. says:

    Just checking in for new comments. From Coenraad One

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