Don Rickles on Democrats

Today is a rare day that I will outsource my column.

Insult comedian Don Rickles lit up the Democratic Party. I am sure he has anti-Republican jokes, but for now, i am glad he is on the right side.

Below are his politically incorrect jokes about people who are political jokes and incorrect about virtually everything.


Only Don Rickles could get away with saying this stuff, but it is funny.

Don Rickles Roasts the Dems… Hello, dummies!

Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident? Seriously, Senator Reid has a face of a Saint – A Saint Bernard. Now I know why they call you the arithmetic man. You add partisanship, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. Reid is so physically unimposng; he makes Pee Wee Herman look like Mr. T. And Reid’s so dumb; he makes Speaker Pelosi look like an intellectual. Nevada is soooo screwed! If I were less polite, I’d say Reid makes Kevin Federline look successful.

Speaking of the Speaker… Nancy Pelosi, hubba, hubba! Hey baby, you must’ve been something before electricity. Seriously, the Speaker may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. She really is an idiot.
Madame Speaker… want to make twelve bucks the hard way? Pelosi says she’s not partisan, but her constituents call her Madame Pelossilini.

Charlie Rangel… still alive and still robbing the taxpayers blind. What does that make, six decades of theft? Rangel’s the only man with a rent-controlled mansion.

He’s the guy who writes our tax laws but forgot to pay taxes on $75 grand in rental income! So why isn’t he the Treasury Secretary? Rangel runs more scams than a Nigerian Banker.

Barney Frank – he’s a better actor than Fred Flintstone. Consider… he and Dodd caused the whole financial meltdown and they’re not only not serving time with Bubba and Rodney, they’re still heading up the financial system!

Let’s all admit it… Barney Frank slobbers more than a sheepdog on novocaine. How did this guy get elected? Oh, that’s right… he’s from Massachusetts . That’s the state that elects Mr. Charisma, John Kerry —  man of the people!

You know, if Senator Dodd were any more crooked, you could open wine bottles with him. Here’s a news flash, Dodd: when your local newspaper calls you a “lying weasel”, it may be time to retire. Dodd’s involved in more shady deals than the Clintons . Even Rangel looks up to him!

Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, I really respect you… especially given your upbringing. All you’ve overcome… I heard your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory. I don’t know what makes you so dumb, but it really works for you. Personally, I don’t think you are a fool, but what’s my opinion compared to that of thousands of others? Gibbs does his best expositional work in the bathroom every morning.

As for President Obama, what can I say? They say President Obama’s arrogant and aloof, but I don’t agree. Now it’s true when you enter the room, you have to kiss his ring. I don’t mind, but he has it in his back pocket. His mind is open to new ideas — so open that ideas simply pass through it.

Obama lies so much, I was actually surprised to find out his first name really was Barack. Just don’t ask about his middle name! But Obama was able to set a record… he actually lied more in 60 days than Bill Clinton. As far as his administration — what with the tax cheat and lobbyists — well, in the words of Patches O’Houlihan, “It’s like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob out there.”

With all due respect.

I have nothing to add. The guy is just on fire.

Happy Saturday all.


7 Responses to “Don Rickles on Democrats”

  1. “Barney Frank – he’s a better actor than Fred Flintstone. Consider… he and Dodd caused the whole financial meltdown and they’re not only not serving time with Bubba and Rodney, they’re still heading up the financial system!”

    Rickles was probably being tongue in cheek here, because I doubt he’s that stupid, but it’s really sad how many Americans really believe that Chris Dodd And Barney Frank, both in the triple-branch minority until 2007, well after all the causes of the financial meltdown occured, somehow “caused” the financial meltdown. It just goes to show how incredibly ignorant so many Americans really are. You’d just have to be a total moron to believe that Dodd and Frank “caused” the “financial meltdown” in any way. Just. Plain. Stupid.


  2. Micky 2 says:

    Yeah. I’ll correct Rickles in saying Frank and Dodd did not cause the “WHOLE” meltdown. But they most certainly were two of the largest contributors.
    The only problem with your consistent repetition of that same diatribe is that you’ve never been able to disprove the facts, direct transripts and quotes from congress, their ties to F&F, Countrywide, the CRA or otherwise that have shut that argument down a million times by yours truly. :-)
    Factually speaking Rickles is wrong in that theirs actually about 5 or 6 more big de players that dded to the components that cause that meltdown. Without including the 111th congress and the afored mentioned players that totally ignored the warnings that came from McCain and Bush theres Reid, Pelosi, Clinton and even s far back as Obama and ACORN pressuring banks to make loans to low income minorities.
    you can bang on that drum all you want but the facts speak otherwise from your opinion and the measley points you’ve previously brought in defense of that position have proven in the past to carry no weight.

  3. Micky, what planet do you live on? Barney Frank was in the monority from 1995 to 2007. Dodd was in the minority most of that time as well. You guys are obviously completely ignorant of the story of who and what caused the financial collapse. And I know why. Two reasons. Complete ignorance of modern American political history and good ol’ fashioned cognitive dissonance – the inability to face the fact that the people you supported turned out to be incompetents and crooks. This has nothing to do with ACORN. That’s just purile idiocy. The mortgage meltdown as it affected F&F (which is just a symptomatic part of the fincial mess) was caused when the BUSH ADMINISTARTION instructed them to purchase riskier loans, to increase their leverage. Frank, in particular, thought this was a horrible idea and he’s been proven quite right. Frank felt they should have instead helped these poorer folks with rental assistance rather than getting more of them into unteneble mortgages. In 2005, Frank and then finance chair Michael Oxley offered reforms that could have abated the collpase, but BUSH and the Senate GOP shot them down. Frank, like Dodd, had no opportunity to prevent the collapse. They were ina powerless minority. Then there was Alan Greenspan, who fought every call from the likes of Frank and Dodd to tamp down on exotic lending and over-leveraging. Greenspan even refused regulatory duty, essentially telling the congress that he simply would ignore the law. Then there was a complete lack of regulation from the rest of the Bush “administration.” Yes, in many ways over the years the Dems have been willing particpants in the irresponible laizzez faire governments we’ve had over the last 30 years, but to say Dodd and Frank are the “causes” is a stupid lie. If the Dems were guilty of anything, it was acting like Republicans.

    I guess it’s fitting that the states with the worst schoools vote the most GOP. Knowledge and GOP voters are mutually exclusive.


  4. Dav Lev says:

    Compared with Nancy Pel and Howard Dean, Don is an absolute genius.
    At least he is funny with his derogatory jokes about blacks and Jews.

    But being funny can be counterproductive. I ask myself, is he causing people to laugh out of his silliness, OR are they basically agreeing with him?

    That said, Dean was interviewed the other day on PBS (liberal) TV.
    I mean this guy is something, a piece of work.

    He is a doctor..married to a Jew. He is not Jewish.

    Our Torah prohibits marriage to a non-Jew. Enough said!

    Well, he claims his children are being brough up Jewish.
    Okay, our religion comes from the maybe he’s right?
    I wonder if they were bar mitsvahed? Are they kosher? Do
    they observe the Sabbath and holidays? Do they fast? Do they
    ahere to the 613 laws of Moses? Do they study Torah and Talmud?

    Dean likes a govt sponsored health plan. He knows that the blue dog
    Democrat are good for health care reform. Wowowo?

    Dean says the economy is improving…(see the stock market rise).

    Dean wants competition between the govt plan and private industry.

    Sure, and I’ll sell you the Brooklyn Bridge cheap.

    I spoke to a friend about the IRS and how it is the worst
    agency in the country ( over 15% of taxes due are never paid
    yearly ). The agency is feared worse than the Gastapo. and for
    good reason. Thousands of properties are seized each year
    under their “silent” or not so silent lien. Hundreds of thousands of
    levies are served, in bank accounts, receivables, salaries.

    People are told, even those unemployed..”pay or die, I don’t care where
    you get the money”. “We will break your knees”.

    Homes are taken right out from under delinquent taxpayers…sold
    at auction for pennies on the dollar. Reps are treated worse
    than the Taliban. Who cares where the taxpayers live?

    Mr. are not funny. You are a disgrace.

    Hey guys, read the latest about Afghanistan. The Taliban
    allowed Al Qaeda to roam at will in the USA..and attack the WTC.

    Therefore, we must fight them for show we mean business.

    While Iran has 2,000 more centrifuges..on the road to 50,000.
    That’s 10 nukes/year folks…to hold as leverage over our only M.E.
    ally, Israel, and US. While Obama plays with his toys.

  5. Micky 2 says:

    So what if he was in the minority ?
    He was still responsible, essentially, for recreating and redesigning our financial system, and he’s not taking any responsibility for what happened at all.
    The guy is scum. He reminds me of things I cant say here out of respect.
    You think these guys had no hand in supporting Clintons CRA and bolstering its efforts during their time whether they were in the minority or not ? Funny how you like to have it both ways. Everything right now is Bushs fault and the majority today doesnt have to take any of the rap ?
    Please, I’ve been thru this with you before where McCain and Bush begged Frank and Dodd to help curb the impending pop, showed you the transcripts and exact quotes.
    Its over.
    Go ahead, enjoy your mental masturbation and keep telling yourself whatever gets you off. And go ahead and repeat the ever so common ” cognitive dissonance” and “ignorance of history” lines you always run off when you’ve been shut down. Its really super old and thin already bro. The programs and policies that caused this were instituted and supported by the left going as far back as Carter.

    Heres a different perspective and it has nothing do with whos in the minority.

    That’s Barney Frank’s story, and he’s sticking to it. As the Massachusetts Democrat has explained it in recent days, the current financial crisis is the spawn of the free market run amok, with the political class guilty only of failing to rein the capitalists in. The Wall Street meltdown was caused by “bad decisions that were made by people in the private sector,” Frank said; the country is in dire straits today “thanks to a conservative philosophy that says the market knows best.” And that philosophy goes “back to Ronald Reagan, when at his inauguration he said, ‘Government is not the answer to our problems; government is the problem.’ ”

    In fact, that isn’t what Reagan said. His actual words were: “In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem.” Were he president today, he would be saying much the same thing.

    Because while the mortgage crisis convulsing Wall Street has its share of private-sector culprits — many of whom have been learning lately just how pitiless the private sector’s discipline can be — they weren’t the ones who “got us into this mess.” Barney Frank’s talking points notwithstanding, mortgage lenders didn’t wake up one fine day deciding to junk long-held standards of creditworthiness in order to make ill-advised loans to unqualified borrowers. It would be closer to the truth to say they woke up to find the government twisting their arms and demanding that they do so – or else.

    The roots of this crisis go back to the Carter administration. That was when government officials, egged on by left-wing activists, began accusing mortgage lenders of racism and “redlining” because urban blacks were being denied mortgages at a higher rate than suburban whites.

    The pressure to make more loans to minorities (read: to borrowers with weak credit histories) became relentless. Congress passed the Community Reinvestment Act, empowering regulators to punish banks that failed to “meet the credit needs” of “low-income, minority, and distressed neighborhoods.” Lenders responded by loosening their underwriting standards and making increasingly shoddy loans. The two government-chartered mortgage finance firms, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, encouraged this “subprime” lending by authorizing ever more “flexible” criteria by which high-risk borrowers could be qualified for home loans, and then buying up the questionable mortgages that ensued.

    All this was justified as a means of increasing homeownership among minorities and the poor. Affirmative-action policies trumped sound business practices. A manual issued by the Federal Reserve Bank of Boston advised mortgage lenders to disregard financial common sense. “Lack of credit history should not be seen as a negative factor,” the Fed’s guidelines instructed. Lenders were directed to accept welfare payments and unemployment benefits as “valid income sources” to qualify for a mortgage. Failure to comply could mean a lawsuit.

    As long as housing prices kept rising, the illusion that all this was good public policy could be sustained. But it didn’t take a financial whiz to recognize that a day of reckoning would come. “What does it mean when Boston banks start making many more loans to minorities?” I asked in this space in 1995. “Most likely, that they are knowingly approving risky loans in order to get the feds and the activists off their backs . . . When the coming wave of foreclosures rolls through the inner city, which of today’s self-congratulating bankers, politicians, and regulators plans to take the credit?”

    Frank doesn’t. But his fingerprints are all over this fiasco. Time and time again, Frank insisted that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were in good shape. Five years ago, for example, when the Bush administration proposed much tighter regulation of the two companies, Frank was adamant that “these two entities, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, are not facing any kind of financial crisis.” When the White House warned of “systemic risk for our financial system” unless the mortgage giants were curbed, Frank complained that the administration was more concerned about financial safety than about housing.

    Now that the bubble has burst and the “systemic risk” is apparent to all, Frank blithely declares: “The private sector got us into this mess.” Well, give the congressman points for gall. Wall Street and private lenders have plenty to answer for, but it was Washington and the political class that derailed this train. If Frank is looking for a culprit to blame, he can find one suspect in the nearest mirror.”

  6. The Crawfish says:

    8-28-09 The Weekend Claw…

    We’ve got a full plate for this edition of The Claw, and I’m pretty sure y’all know what the top story of the week has been. Tuck that napkin into your collar and grab your knife and fork. Let’s dig in!

  7. decora says:

    Don Rickles did not say this. He did not write it either. Check your facts dude.

    Also you can tell it isn’t Rickles… by the way it completely fails to be funny.

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