NFL Characters and link love

For those who do not know, today is the final Sunday without the National Football League. Just as I am ready to lose my mind, football returns.

Before getting to football, below are various links worth checking out.

I play football and kickball with some really cool people. The post game parties are also fun.

For fans of the Oakland Raiders, there is Just Blog Baby.

For sports fans in general, there is Fan Sided.

The Raiders are my team, but The Landry Hat is a great site for fans of the Dallas Cowboys.

On the political front, several very respected political blogs have linked to me. All I can say to these bloggers is that I am beyond appreciative. I aspire to their level.

The entire blogging world knows the Drudge Report. The entire blogging world should know about the site that parodies the Drudge Report perfectly. All hail the Drunk Report.

Sultan Knish is absolutely brilliant, and Hyscience is insightful. For those interested in defeating Radical Islam, Sultan Knish is the platinum standard of blogs.

Kathy Shaidle at Five Feet of Fury is a new friend, and her intelligence is matched only by her kindness.

Pamela Geller might be one of the hottest women on Earth, but do not let her looks fool you. She is a fabulous conservative blogger.

Courtney, aka Great Satan’s Girlfriend, is not only hot, but hilarious. She is in my blogger hall of fame for coming up with the Dr. Seuss inspired column on the Palestinians entitled “Green Eggs and Hamas.”

Lisa Richards brings new meaning to the term “scorched Earth.” She is great.

A very new friend is Travis Rowley. Like me, he is a fellow blogger, author, and Young Republican. Check out his site “Out of Ivy.”

Other political blogs have been nice enough to link to me. Operation Reciprocation has now commenced.

(Editors Note: The blogger behind “In a Handbasket” is also incredibly hot. I am blissfully happy with the Sacramento Queen, but every red-blooded Christian male in America should immediately get to know this stunning woman. Jewish men should leave her alone. The 52% intermarriage rate is killing us.)

Mande Wilkes is a hot Republican Jewish brunette from the Carolinas. Sadly enough, she is married.

Ok, enough links to hot Republican women. If there was football on tv I would not be distracted. Short of the Sacramento Queen showing up at my home wearing only a French Maids uniform and a football helmet whileholding a pizza or burger, this Sunday is going to suck.

Yes, starting next Sunday this will be an actual football column with real analysis. For now, thank God for NFL Network. I watched the 2000 Monday Night Miracle between the Jets and Dolphins. More importantly, the NFL Films documentaries are fabulous. The top 10 controversial calls was a good one, and proof that the Raiders really do get screwed more often than not.

The top 10 meltdowns was great. Dennis Green and Jim Mora deserve to have their tirades replayed over and over.

The top 10 motivators was adequate enough, although Bill Parcells should have been ranked much higher. Having Marty Schottenheimer ranked above the Tuna is insane.

The top 10 greatest “hands” for receivers was controversial. Larry Fitzgerald is amazing, but it is way too soon to put him with the greats just yet. Also, if you include Fitzgerald, you have to include Steve Smith.

Yet one NFL documentary has given me pause. The top 10 “characters” had me in a state of shock.

Characters should be players that make the game fun. Also, the players should not detract from their teams. Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson does deserve to be on the list, especially for his stunt where he mailed Pepto Bismol to the Cleveland Browns defense because “they were going to get sick” covering him. To me that is hilarious. Ocho Cinco merits inclusion.

Terrell Owens does not merit inclusion. His antics are overshadowed by his being a locker room cancer.

Ray Lewis should be on the list. From his dancing to his battle cry about “any dawgs in the house?,” he should replace T.O. on the list.

John Randall is on the list, and absolutely should be. Ted “Mad Stork” absolutely should be on the list but is not. The man rode into practice on a white horse wearing armor in the manner of Sir Lancelot.

Another Raider that should have made the list is John Madden. His rivalry with the San Diego Chicken mascot is the tip of the iceberg.

For quarterbacks, yes Brett Favre is a character, but Jim McMahon would have been a better choice. Joe Namath was at least as much of a character, especially wearing that fur coat on the sidelines.

Yet the reason why this documentary is flawed is because the very best character to ever play the game was left off.

The Houston Oilers were represented by Bum Phillips, but the greatest Oiler was known by his nickname.

He returned kickoffs and punts. He caught Hail Marys and juked his way to the end zone.

He was also the greatest dancer in the history of the NFL. He was the original bootie shaker, and reached the end zone enough times to strut his stuff.

Any list of characters must include Billy “White Shoes” Johnson.

How does the NFL leave White Shoes off a list of characters?

Billy White Shoes Johnson was a legend. He was a great player and a fun player.

He was a character.

Shame on the NFL, NFL Network, NFL Films, and the sportswriters and other footballers consulted for the list of characters.

It has been a quarter of a century since he retired, but he is still the best dancer in NFL history.

Yes, Devon Hester and Dante Hall have electrified the game from a return standpoint. Yet Deion Sanders, Mel Gray, and Mike Nelms were all great return men.

Even Deion highstepping and dancing owes homage to White Shoes.

Some will wonder why I am so passionate about this. Again, I am about to lose my ever loving football mind if live games do not come on soon.

I personally detest preseason, but even preseason is better than the Lifetime Network.

Saturday, August 8th is the NFL Hall of Fame induction ceremony from Canton, Ohio.

Sunday, August 9th features the Buffalo Bills and the Tennessee Titans in the Hall of Fame Game.

Thursday, August 13th features the kickoff of the preseason beyond the Hall of Fame Game. The Dallas Cowboys play the Oakland Raiders, among other games.

I am ready to bite the bark off of a tree, or some red meat right off of the bone.

I am ready for some football.

Start the d@mn season already.


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