No More Heblish

I have had it with Israeli and Jewish spokespeople communicating in a fractured linguistic mess known as “Heblish.”

For those that have not been paying attention, Islamofacist terrorists declared War on America in the 1970s. In 2001, we finally declared war on them. As for Israel, these terrorists began their Jihad 1400 years ago. Israel has fought back brilliantly from a military standpoint. Yet from a public relations standpoint, it pains me as a Republican Jew to see the two worst marketed products on the planet be the Republican Party and Israel.

A badly marketed Republican Party is frustrating, but not life and death. Yet losing a public relations battle during a war is life and death.

America won the Vietnam War on the battlefield. We lost on the evening news. America routed the Taliban in Afghanistan and thrashed Saddam Hussein in Iraq, yet lost the battle back home by failing to forcefully rebut the editorial idiocy of the Jayson Blair Times.

With Republican Americans, the issue is one of public speaking. Ronald Reagan was that rare breed of human being that had a goodness of heart and a brilliance of communicating. George W. Bush had a noble heart, but his lack of articulateness hurt the party. He was content to let his deeds do the talking. This is commendable from a decency standpoint, but unfortunately, politics is about perception. It does not matter that Bill Clinton and Barack Obama offer vapid words that say nothing and mean even less than that. They sound good saying nonsense, which allows them to persuade people.

In the long run, the only thing that matters is if the message is communicated. It is in this vein that Israel is flailing, trailing, and failing.

I have enormous respect for the Israeli Defense Forces. The IDF are military geniuses. Yet they are not speakers. Nobody is perfect. Michael Jordan was unimpressive as a baseball player.

Israel is locked in a life and death struggle for its very existence. Israel has many opponents, from some Arabs to some Palestinians to their many sympathizers. Israel wins militarily but gets crushed in front of the cameras.

Saeb Arakat speaks perfect English. So does Hanan Ashrawi. So does Hussein Ibbish.

What does Israel offer?

Hebrew and English mixed together in a gibberish that only Israelis can understand.

Yes, I know this comes across as insensitive. So what? We are at war. I am not interested in feelings. I am interested in keeping Jews from being blown to Kingdom Come. If that means ruffling some feathers, the ends more than justify the means.

I am tired of listening to Shimon Peres talk about the “p*ss process.” Unless he is filming a commercial for prostate cancer, there is no p*ss process worth discussing.

Even the great “Bulldozer,” Ariel Sharon, failed to achieve diplomatically what he spectacularly achieved militarily.

The bottom line is unless one’s name is Benjamin Netanyahu, stay the heck away from the cameras. When the television cameras come, show them a picture of a test pattern.

Israelis are bright people. You don’t survive surrounded by enemies without lots of brains. Yet these same people that built a nation from nothing but orange groves…these same people that created the Middle East version of Silicon Valley…these same people have not spent enough money and time on English training classes. The results speak badly for themselves.

Americans want to hear crisp, clear English. That is what opens up checkbooks.

The Chabad Telethon raises millions every year. They don’t speak Heblish. They understand that if you want to do good things, you need money. People give money to people they like and trust, which means people they identify with.

The best example of this is my trip to Israel in 2008. I was a tourist, and Israel relies on tourism. The people that drove me around spoke perfect English, because they knew that this was their best chance of getting me to spend money. It worked.

The good news is that all is not lost. An Israeli soldier named Benjamin Anthony has formed an organization called “Our Soldiers Speak.” He is British educated, and passionately delivers the message of Israeli soldiers in a crystal clear voice. We need more guys like him.

I will never ever be qualified to serve in the IDF. I have never nor will I ever advise them on military strategy. Yet as somebody who speaks publicly on a regular basis, I implore Israelis to put aside their pride on this one and just learn perfect English.

I am trying to save Jewish lives. The enemies of Israel have figured out how to play the game. Israel must do the same. The fractured Heblish must stop.

Israel will succeed at this if they put in the effort. How do I know this?

Because they are me. They are you. They are us. They are our fellow Jews.


15 Responses to “No More Heblish”

  1. Eric, where is your knowledge of history? “As for Israel, these terrorists began their Jihad 1400 years ago.”??? Really??? For most of that time, Islam and Judaism lived in relative harmony. If anything, Jews sought refuge in the Islamic world from Christendom! Christ man! Only 60-odd years ago Christendom was slaughtering Jews by the millions! What the heck are you talking about??? No people have been more brutal and murderous to the Jews than Christians! WHITE CHRISTIANS! Heck, were it not for WHITE CHRISTIAN ANTISEMITISM there would no Israel today! there’d be no need for it! No “Jihad,” no terrorism, nada. Most of the Jews who were REFUGEES FROM WHITE CHRISTIAN ANTISEMITIC GENOCIDE didn’t even want to go to Israel! They had no choice! They wanted to come here, and to the British Commonwealth nations! WE REFUSED TO TAKE THEM BECAUSE OF WHITE CHRISTIAN ANTISEMITISM.

    Man, with friends like that, you’re better off with your enemies! Mind your history, Eric. These white Christian conservatives you think are your friends will turn on you on a dime if it suits them. There’s a good reason most Jews are “liberals,” and it ain’t because they’re self-hating morons – it’s because they’re self-preserving smart people. Now if they could just wise-up and stop settling the West Bank, maybe we could finally end this d@mned intifada.


  2. Dav Lev says:

    In 1945, just a few months before the end of WW2, and with the Brits
    only 3 to 6 miles away, several Jewish children were hung by the SS.

    They were part of a contingent of Jews in a concentration camp
    destined for experimentation by the SS doctors. They had hoses
    put down their throats (not voluntarily), and live tuberculosis germs
    put into their lungs. They came down with high fevers, among other things.
    Eventually many were hung from their little necks. A few got away.

    The commander involved, was pardoned…by the German govt years later, as being too sick to stand trial.

    In 1948, two states were established by the UN, one Arab, the other Jewish, carved out of a much larger territory meant under the Balfour Declaration and approved by the Mandate for Palestine. The other side of the Jordan, (or Eastern Palestine) was given to King Hussein’s grandfather as a gesture of goodwill and thanks.

    The Jews ended up with 3 small Western Palestine, which they
    gladly accepted. 6 Arab armies wanted no part of a Jewish Palestine,
    and invaded. As a result hundreds of thousands of Arabs, mainly
    immigrants from Syria, Egypt and Turkey, moved a few miles away from the fighting..or back to parts of Palestine where they had originated,
    due to the fighting and the promise that the Jews would be destroyed,
    and they could move back, to enjoy all the assets left behind and not

    About 300,000 Muslims didn’t budge, hoping to one day see peace
    in that conflicted part of the world. They now number 1.5m and enjoy
    the most freedom of any Arab anywhere., even though there is
    a conflict about what exactly Israel is..a State of the Jews, or a Jewish State..or whether it is a state for all it’s people (see demands by Abbas/Fatah).

    The 300,000 to 600,000 who left Western Palestine (estimates vary), Muslims, now have
    produced over 4m offspring. Many are still in camps in Syria, Egypt, and Lebanon and elsewhere. Those in Jordan became citizens after all, Jordan
    is still Palestine under the Mandate..They have made their return to Israel itself, a condition for peace. (A non-starter).

    I mean would we accept 3m members of the Taliban, Al Qaeda, the Sunni insurgents next door?

    Over 700,000 Jews were forced physically out of their homelands in the Muslim world, where they had resided since the Roman days, when the
    temple was destroyed in Palestine. They left behind 100 times the assets of the similar exodus by the Arabs.

    There were always a few thousand Jews in Palestine,,,which had become
    a wasteland, a marshland. ( Read Mark Twain ).

    To coincide with successive Jewish migrations from Russia, in the late 1800s, thousands of Muslims moved to the coastline..where the Jews
    had created something out of nothing.

    The land itself, under the Turks..for 400 years, was owned by absentee
    landlords…Arabs were workers on these properties. They did not own
    the land, and had no claim to it. Jews purchased land at inflation prices.

    Since 1948, Arabs have been fighting Jews for control of the area..
    with the shopping malls, homes, factories, military hardware, airports,
    etc., constructed by the Jews since Israel’s creation.

    After each war with the Arab Palestinians, or Arab countries, Israel
    made offers they could not refuse..from statehood to autonomy. At Camp David and Taba, Israel offered the Palestinians ALL THE LAND taken,
    including Arab neighborhoods in East Jerusalem and the Temple Mount
    and Wailing Wall. (The Jew would retain the access routes to their holy sites). Arafat didn’t come back with a counteroffer..but insisted
    on the right of return of 5m Arabs to Israel itself.

    This ended the talks.

    Charlie Rose asked Akiva Eldar ( the editor of Haaretz. an Israeli
    leftwing newspaper), what if, what if Israel had given back ALL the
    land after 1967..what would be the situation today?

    From my reading of the Arab armies (Egypt/Syria/Jordan/Iraq), intent,
    had they in fact won..there would be no Israel today, to give back, only
    a “wasteland”. No Jew would have survived, the Final Jihad, the Mother of All Battles. From Algeria to Iran, Muslim armies were excited about
    the final destruction of the Zionist state. Gas vans were found embedded
    in the Egyptian divisions.

    Fortunately, and with much discussion beforehand, 300 plus Israeli warplanes struck the Egyptian and Syrian airforce and their bases.
    The surprise attack, allowed Israeli troops under some very good generals to defeat the ground forces. Within 1 year, the Ruskies had resupplied
    the Arabs on their losses.

    Now get this folks…King Hussein (Jordan) was asked NOT to join the battle. He attacked with his mighty legion…killing many Israeli Jews in Jerusalem, destroying hundreds of buildings.

    The excuse for his losing was that he didn’t take the war seriously.
    He did folks. Just more crying by the Arabs.

    When offered the territory back, the Arab League’s response were the
    3 famous peace, no recognition and no negotiation.

    This is the current attitude of Hezbollah, Hamas, the militants in Fatah
    (W. Bk), and of course Iran.

    But what bothers me the most, is not only the terrible PR by Israeli leaders and it’s military, but the leftist, liberal do-gooder Israelis..which
    remind me of their cousins in the USA.

    For insight, go to the Charlie Rose website, and read the inteview given
    the journalist mentioned above. This guy is an Israeli who is a self-hating Jew, blaming everything on Israel’s actions and leadership. If not self-hating, he is the most gullibe, naive Israeli alive.

    He like the Kapos ( Jews who assisted the NAZIs in the concentration camps) just doesn’t get it. He, like they, will be the first to be hung or shot
    should the Arabs ever defeat Israel. He and his leftist buddies..are toast.

    J Street, is a newly formed Jewish leftist group..which just held a conference. The jouralist was invited to attend. He may have.
    Birds of a feather so to speak.

    J Street blames Israel’ occupation for its troubles…they do not want
    any pressure on Iran, believing talking is the answer. Akiva says
    force is not productive..against enemies. He is against sanctions.
    He blames Israel on the creation of Hamas..believing Israel should have
    talked and engaged with Hamas.

    Hamas fought Fatah for control of the Strip several months ago. They threw Fatah members off roofs guys.

    Hamas has catagorically refused to accept the Jewish state..they have repeated it over and over again. Akiva, the head of the IAEA, seem bent on negotiations, diplomacy, as the means to achieve peace.

    Chamberlin thought the same about Germany, until Germany attacked
    Poland. Russia the same..until 3m German troops invaded and killed
    25m Sovietskys.

    We now read about the Berlin Wall..but have forgotten that Russia
    lost 200,000 men and women to capture Berlin. We lost 350,000 during the entire war guys.

    We read about the occupation of Hungary, but forget that Hungarian
    SS Divisions invaded Russia, as did French and Finish.

    I remind everyone of the French SS division..Charlemayne (Spelling?).

    BTW, the Arabs also had their versions of the SS..and the Grand Mufti
    got the deportations of children to Palestine, re-routed to Polish
    death camps.

    I am not in total agreement with Eric’s take on English/Hebrew.

    However, If I were running the foreign ministry…I would only
    select personnel who spoke fluent English for US audiences..Russian
    for Russian, German for Germany, French for France, etc.

    But like everything else in Israel, everythng is controversial and
    contentious. 5.5m Jews and 5.5 opinions. A country with 7m people
    has over 60 parties. I mean even New Jersey, the same size,
    isn’t so ridiculous.

    What is harming Israel in it’s war for survival..are people like Akiva,
    disunity in the US (AIPAC vs J Street), and the worse image of a country
    throughout the world. People tend to forget that one-third of my people
    were hung, shot, experimented upon, starved, gassed just 60 years ago,
    to an indifferent or hostile world.

    I guess they want the rest of us to walk like sheep
    into gas chambers again.

    Not this time folks..this time we have the atomic bomb and youd better believe it.

    Oh, one more things..lets call a spade a spake. The killer of 13 was
    a Muslim not a Jew.

  3. Ya’ know, all this talk… bla bla bla… In the end, Israel is still stuck in the same mess. Either they should take the West Bank by force, removing all the Palestinians, or they should pull the heck out of there. This quagmire they’ve created with the settlements IS Israeli’s own doing. Period. Only they can bring it to an end. No, it may not bring peace, or guarantee anything. But at least it would end THAT part of the conflict. Israel can defend itself and it has big ol’ Uncle Sam to come in and wreck the whole neighborhood should Israel be seriously attacked. Israel already has established a MAD situation over there. We all know Israel has nukes. It’s about as secret as David Dreier’s homosexuality. Despite the comic bookish beliefs of conservatives, the heads of the Arab states are realistic and pragmatic. They don’t really care about Jihad or Allah or anything other than maintaining their power. Sure, they spout their goofball rhetoric to pander to the Arab Street and keep their people’s eyes off their real problems. Heck, we do the same thing here. If anything, we play right into the hands of the despots and Jihadis by even paying attention to their nonsense. Invading Iraq was the biggest victory in the history of terrorism and militant Jihad! We in the West all need to settle down, act like adults, see the rhetoric and reality for what it is, and stop playing right into the hands of the lunatics. It’s time to grow the hell up!


  4. Micky 2 says:

    “We in the West all need to settle down, act like adults, see the rhetoric and reality for what it is, and stop playing right into the hands of the lunatics. It’s time to grow the hell up!”

    Thats why you guys call terrorism a “man made threat” and terrorists “freedom fighters”
    You guys are the lunatics.

    If you’d stop supporting and appeasing Hamas and the rest of radical Islam that would be a great place to start.

  5. Laree says:

    Even the President noted that Pvt Francheska Velez was expecting a baby.

    Adding my voice 13 Charges of murder should be 14 charges of Murder. Who is going to speak up for Baby Velez? 12 Soldiers 1 civilian and one unborn baby. That’s 14 counts.

  6. GM Roper says:

    Such a terrific blog. Added you to my blogroll of great reads. Got here via your fan Cinnamon and I’ll be back regularly.

  7. You don’t think terrorism is man-made, Micky? What do you think it is? An El Nino effect? As for who’s a freedom fighter or not, that all depends on who you’re talking to and what you’re talking about. Al Qaeda isn’t fighting for freedom. They’re fighting for theocratic empire. Hamas and Hezboallah are tools of the Arab despots, fighting just to keep fight going. The old PLO was sorta fighting for freedom, I suppose, but then when they got a taste of it, and began to mainstream (kind of like like how the IRA morphed into Sinn Fein), Hamas and Hezbollah came along and kept the destabilization going. Look man, unlike you, I’m realistic about all this. I wouldn’t go applying simplistic labels to any of this. It’s a complex mess. I only wish conservatives could think more maturely about that fact.

    I wouldn’t worry about that lunatic, Laree. He’ll be getting the death penalty soon enough. I’m not a fan of the death penalty, but in this case, I’m gonna forget my position. To hell with that lunatic scumbag. We shouldn’t even waste any more of our breath on that piece of $#@!.

    Just the same, let’s just make sure the military keeps a closer eye on people like him in the future. I remember, right after 9/11, Al Franken was on Letterman, as I recall. Letterman asked franken about the reaction of the government and whether we should target Arabs for greater scrutiny after the attack. Franken replied, and I paraphrase, “If it was a bunch of Jewish comedians who hijacked those planes and flew them into those buildings, it wouldn’t bother me at all if I got hassled at the airports from then on.” I may be a liberal and progressive, but I’m not insane about it. Next time a Muslim makes crazy talk at the barracks, someone had better speak up!


  8. Micky 2 says:

    “You don’t think terrorism is man-made, Micky? ”

    The descriptioin is to broad and vague jersey.
    My bowel movements are a man made disaster alright !!?? But it wont tell you who your enemy is.

    “Al Qaeda isn’t fighting for freedom.”

    They’re fighting for the enslavement of the entire planet.

    You guys in your attempts to sound so much more enlightened do nothing but sound like some morons gargling alaphbet soup.

    And please, as for the rest of your post, you’re the last person on earth who should be explaining anything to do with the terrorist organizations out there.

    “I’m realistic about all this. I wouldn’t go applying simplistic labels to any of this. It’s a complex mess. I only wish conservatives could think more maturely about that fact.”

    Thats rich, you claiming maturity ?
    You’d better learn the difference between arrogance and actually being grown up

    Regardless of whatever factions, sub groups, organizations you’re talking about the common denominator with all of them is that they are terrorist and as we are fighting terrorist we are fighting terrorism.
    Not F*&^%$ man made disasters !
    Got it ?
    So take your over complicated attempts to some liberal professor of linguistics who might give you a gold star.

    “Janet Napolitano was asked about her lack of using the word terrorism in a 16-March interview with Der Speigel. Her reply was … “In my speech, although I did not use the word “terrorism,” I referred to “man-caused” disasters. That is perhaps only a nuance, but it demonstrates that we want to move away from the politics of fear toward a policy of being prepared for all risks that can occur.”

    What an idiot.
    I guess were not supposed to fear our enemies anymore.
    Terrorism is not “ALL” risks that can occur.
    Its one risk that we have to be prepared for explicitly or we cannot deal for it properly.
    What ? is a coal mine caving in ? an old building being demolished ? What the hell are we supposed to prepare for ? What the hell do we gear up for ?

    Imagine the following headlines:
    “Man-made disaster today in New York as two airplanes strike the WTC buildings”.

    This may not have the same psychological impact as:

    “Terrorist act today in New York as two airplanes strike the WTC buildings”.

    Its these sneaky little incremental changes that will screw us one day. Maybe they want history to reflect that there were no terrorist acts during Obama’s watch?
    It’s like calling illegal aliens “undocumented workers”. It doesn’t have the same impact or connotation. Its stupid.
    Actually, that day came already because if someone at Ft. Hood had come out and just said ” hey, I think Hasan is a terrorist with terror potential” this could of been prevented.
    You guys need to wise up.

    ” What do you think it is? An El Nino effect? ”

    Now that you mention it you dingalings do blame the weather on man. (American men)
    Dont you ?

    “Just the same, let’s just make sure the military keeps a closer eye on people like him in the future.”

    I wouldnt count on it too much buddy since they’ll be looking for a man made disaster and not a terrorist.

  9. Okay, I get where you’re coming from. “Man made” as opposed to ‘insane made’. Micky, when it comes to to things like this, we’re more than on the same page. I don’t know what else to say about that.


  10. Micky 2 says:

    You say it s complicated in that theres many different brands of terrorism each with their own motivations and goals.
    So lets not complicate things anymore than it already is and call things what they are.
    I mean really, could you see any of the players in any of our past wars refering to the enemy as a man made disaster ?
    And here we come thinking that if we call them something less offensive or that places them in a generalized category is going to make us safer or the threat less ?

  11. […] Original post: No More Heblish | THE TYGRRRR EXPRESS […]

  12. Well, I think we should at least understand motivations. If we don’t, then we won’t be as prepared to prevent attacks. Sematics aside, there are different brands of terrorism, just as there are different brands of other crimes. Terrorism is crime, not war. There is a difference. That’s why people like me were so bemused by the phrase “war on terror,” and the rest of the loony phrasiology the rightwingnuts to induce fear and hyperinflate the threat of terrorism. Lack of quality healthcare in America is by far in a long ways more likely to kill you than terrorists, yet you guys don;t want to do bumsquat about that. Heck, bicycling kills more people than terrorists.

    Here’s some interesting stats from the “eyewashstation”:

    You are 13 times more likely to die in a railway accident than from a terrorist attack
    You are 12,571 times more likely to die from cancer than from a terrorist attack
    You are six times more likely to die from hot weather than from a terrorist attack
    You are eight times more likely to die from accidental electrocution than from a terrorist attack
    You are 11,000 times more likely to die in an airplane accident than from a terrorist plot involving an airplane
    You are 87 times more likely to drown than die in a terrorist attack
    You are 404 times more likely to die in a fall than from a terrorist attack
    You are 17,600 times more likely to die from heart disease than from a terrorist attack
    You are 1048 times more likely to die from a car accident than from a terrorist attack
    You are 12 times more likely to die from accidental suffocation in bed than from a terrorist attack
    You are nine times more likely to choke to death on your own vomit than die in a terrorist attack
    You are eight times more likely to be killed by a police officer than by a terrorist

    Sorry man, but I just don’t see terrorism as all that big of a threat. Yes, we should take it seriously, and yes we should try to understand it, but going to war over it? Spending trillions of dollars on it? Loosing thousands of troops over it? Puh-lease. Insanity.


  13. Micky 2 says:

    Bla bla bla.

    You can say whatever you want but only an idiot would call it anything but war.
    Our cops didnt fly over tio the middle east to try and put a stop to what Al Queda has called a holy war..
    Thet threatened us with war and followed thru on it.

    Wise up.

    “Spending trillions of dollars on it? Loosing thousands of troops over it? Puh-lease. Insanity.”

    Makes a hell of a lot more sense than spending trillions on nothing but to collapse the country.
    Yeah, I know, man made dasaters like global warming that some prophetic genius professors cant prove will ever happen is worth spending trillions on.
    So take your stuck up snotty little liberal condescending “PUHLEASE” and take it to Europe where they eat that sht up all day long

    None of what you mention is a direct threat to the security of the nation that has kiled thousands in one sweeping event, many events of the course of history.
    The same thing applies just about any country that poses a threat to us but they dont.

    Beause if we didnt have the measures in place that we have and taken the actions weve taken the numbers would be a whole lot different genius.

    If wew took away what are comon sense security policies, all of them, the odds that you’d be killed by a terrorist jump to a whole nuther braket ?
    Got it ?
    It our brave men and women, American vigilance and policies like that of GW Bush that make the list you provided to be true.

    Geeze, you couldnt figure that out on your own ?

    Let me try another way just to make sure you get it.

    If we werent doing what were doing to prevent the attacks then all the things you mention would be less of a threat and terrosim a greater threat.

    ” The odds of you tripping on Saddams dead body are greater than the odds of this bank getting robbed.”

    ” I know because we got guards and security all around it ”

    Let know if you dont get it, I’ll be happy to endulge in more smackery of your idiocy.

  14. Micky 2 says:

    Unfricken believable.

    Afghanistan is going to hell in a handbasket.
    Taliban are starting to raid Pakistani bases.
    Suicide bombings are on the rise everywhere.
    Since Obama took office weve had two attacks on our soil from radical islamics.
    Hasan was an infiltration of our military by radical islam. This has never happened before.
    Since Obama took office weve uncovered more plots than ever by terrorist who were to commit them on our soil.
    Weapons and plans to attack us from the middle east are constantly being foiled and averted.
    Iran and N. Korea are as close to having nuclear weapons than ever before.
    The threat of destabalization to the middle east is as high as its ever been.
    Our jerk off in Chief is the worst man on earth to confront this situation.

    Do you realize that you sound just like America did on September 10th 2001 ?

  15. O Bloody Hell says:

    No, it may not bring peace, or guarantee anything. But at least it would end THAT part of the conflict.

    BWAAAAAAAhahahahhahahahahaaaaaaa…. What a maroon!

    Yeah, moving the borders would end the conflict….


    Moving the borders until they all coalesced into a single point would end the conflict. Nothing else along those lines is going to do so. Sorta DUH to anyone able to stroke two thoughts together to make an idea, but that would not be You apparently.

    Hey I have SUCH a deal for you. You can make a mint. There’s this really rich guy I know, you see. And he’s trapped in a prison in Spain…

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