How Bout Them (Jewish?) Cowboys!

This lighthearted column was written before an Earthquake rocked Chile. I have nothing to say about that today until we know more. I hope Hawaii is spared. Like the rest of you, I am praying.

At lunch I am speaking to the Arizona Republican Women’s Federated at their state meeting in Yuma. Then later tonight I am speaking at the Kingman GOP Lincoln Dinner.

Now for a very lighthearted prewritten musing.

Comedian Steven Wright once remarked that he met a blonde Chinese woman who had a bizarre illness. She was a nymphomaniac who was only turned on by Jewish Cowboys. He responded by introducing himself and saying, “Hi, I’m Bucky Goldstein.”

There are very few if any Buck Goldsteins.

When Jimmy Johnson was coaching his football team to back to back Super Bowls, his popular refrain was “How bout them Cowboys!” Yet the players were not Jewish.

Actually, at least one of them was. Offensive lineman Alan Veingrad was on the 1992 championship team, so he was a Jewish Cowboy.

Yet this is not about the team that owns Dallas, Texas. This is about real cowboys.

A country music song once lamented, “I’m tired of make believing…they’re all the things they say…Are there really any cowboys left…in the good old U.S.A.?”

The search for cowboys has been few and far between. Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush were derisively called cowboys,  but they were ranchers, which was the complete opposite.

Trying to find cowboys is like trying to find Jews in certain parts of Arizona. Believe me, I know. While Phoenix and Tucson have Jewish communities, Yuma, Lake Havasu, and Kingman have slightly more Jews than Libya.

While this is discouraging, a Synagogue in Tucson allowed me to find both Jews and cowboys.

This past Friday was Rodeo Friday in Tucson. When the rodeo is in town, kids get off from school. Temple Emanu-El incorporated the rodeo into their Friday night services.

This week was Western Shabbos.

Congregants were encouraged to show up in their jeans, belt buckles, and ten gallon hats. They were instructed to check their six shooters at the door.

Rabbi Samuel Cohon led a fun service. He referenced the cowboys of yore, and somehow related it to the Jewish service of the week. It was the first time I can recall Kinky Freedman being part of a service.

The final prayer was “Adon Olam,” as is customary. There are many different versions of it, but I have never heard any prayer Hebrew or otherwise be sung to the tune of “Home on the range.”

Tonight is the Jewish drinking holiday of Purim. Sadly enough, with Tucson in the rear view mirror, the area of Kingman I will be in has almost no Jews. So either I drive to Las Vegas or somewhere else, or sit out partying this year for Purim.

Then again, it has already been an adventure, and that is what life is about.

So thank you Temple Emanu-El. I will be back.

How Bout Them Jewish Cowboys!


2 Responses to “How Bout Them (Jewish?) Cowboys!”

  1. Dav Lev says:

    There are Jewish cowboys, but no one would ever know it.

    There are also Jewish farmers..but most people cannot fathom a
    “Hebrew farmer”? Jews have for centuries and even today, been thought of as people who don’t relate to the “land” at all, but exploit those who do.

    Speaking of exploiting, I am reminded of a co-worker years ago who told me, ” Jews always look for the occupations that pay the most money”.
    I kept quiet, not wanting to create another problem with this individual.
    I men come on…Jews have won more Nobel Peace Prizes were person
    than any other people. What about that?

    My buddy Hitler always referred to his Jews as people who
    never were close to the land, or “Fatherland” for that matter.
    They were the businessmen, who made money by stealing,
    embezzlement, and general perfidy (“those treacherous Jews”)

    He never once mentioned Einstein, or Saban but did forbid statutes
    of Mendelssohn ( a Jewish convert to Christianity and famous

    Speaking of chicken farmers..a relative of mine after arriving
    here from Russia, bought an old chicken farm. She and her husband
    made a living at killing chickens or selling their eggs. (Kosher style of

    In California, Mrs. Zacky sold her immense chicken business..or had
    it merged with another farm. You can buy those chickens at Kroger, etc.
    They are still among the best in the Southland.

    True, there are not a lot of Jewish cowboys..but there are Jews in the
    military (like the Secretary of the Navy) and half-Jews abound. One even
    ran for President..a West Point graduate if I recall.

    According to my religion, the mother determines the religion of the
    offspring. This leads to lots of controversy caus the Reform have
    both parents determining (which I adhere to btw).

    Hey guys, there is a court case now going on back East. A Jewish womeh married a gentile, who converted. He agreed to bring up their children Jewish. How they are in a fierce divorce fight. He is converting BACK to
    being a Catholic and is taking his little child to church. She is furious.
    He is in contempt of court..and she is sueing. One attorney says the state
    cannot decide the religion..only the parents, each or both.

    This is a good one folks. Says something.

    My relatives were big city kids with little use for guns.
    But during WW2, they fought all over the the Pacific,
    the Rhineland, Iwo Jima, etc. They survived to tell their
    war stories. They said, like everyone else, they became animals..
    good killers of Germans and Japs.

    A friend fought in Korea, another in Vietnam.

    Hopefully they will see the film, “Inglorious Bastards”. I did and
    liked it, the best Ive seen in a while. I get tired of
    seeing “Musslemen”.

    Jewish cowboys..they probably started Levi.

  2. I don’t think George W Bush was really a rancher. Just owning a ranch and clearing brush does not a rancher make. Reagan was a real one, though.

    Rodeos are horrible things. They should be banned forever.


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