I have decided to endorse violence against women.
Men, it is open season. Brutalize away.
Despite my column “Light a candle, smack a woman” that rings in every Hanukkah, I used to actually be opposed to violence against women.
https://tygrrrrexpress.com/2007/12/light-a-candle-smack-a-woman/
Yet an event recently had me switch sides. Naturally, it was the National Organization for Women that made me see the light.
The NOW should be renamed the 4-H club. Maybe we can call it Hillary’s Horrid Hags and Harpies.
For those who have better things to do (meaning you are not a feminist), a quick recap is necessary.
A football player named Tim Tebow appeared with his mother in a Super Bowl ad. Mrs. Tebow was over 40 when she was pregnant with Tim. She was advised to have an abortion due to complications, and she refused due to her pro-life beliefs. She was not crusading against other women. She had a choice, and she chose life.
The purpose of the commercial was to advertise the pro-life cause.
Naturally pro-choice groups went into a tizzy, expecting an “offensive” commercial. The commercial was so mild that no reasonable person (again, excludes feminists) could have possibly been offended.
Yet the NOW exists for the purpose of being offended, and setting women’s rights back. In the same way racial grievance mongers act like it is still 1863, the NOW offers gender grievances as if the 19th Amendment had never happened.
Because the ad was pro-life, the NOW needed something, anything, to attack the ad. Unable to attack it on substance (big surprise, the left avoiding substance), the president of the NOW offered a ludicrous criticism.
Tim Tebow playfully “tackles” his mother in the ad.
For those living in real life and not fantasy land (once again, feminists exempted), no actual mothers were hurt during the ad. In a separate unrelated ad, 88 year old actress Betty White was belted and slammed to the ground in a pickup game. Apparently it was make believe, and Mrs. White is walking just fine.
The NOW president threw her tiara to the ground, and in hysterical hissy (oh wow, make it the 6H Club) fit fashion, decided that the Tebow add promotes violence against women.
Therefore, I have decided to propose new ways to commit violence against women.
As tempting as it is to advocate duct taping NOW members mouth’s shut, that would be illegal unless they voluntarily wanted it. Even so, they are most likely too ugly to play bondage with anyway.
My first act of violence against women will involve invading random flower gardens and pulling all the petals off of the flowers.
Women are obviously delicate little flowers, too soft and fragile to withstand the slightest slights. I will pull every petal off of every flower and violently throw them to the ground. Instead of yelling, “she loves me, she loves me not,” I will chant, “I hate you, I hate you more.”
Plus, I hate foliage. Most feminists are environmentalists, another reason to attack flowers.
Next, I will be sabotaging the Lifetime network. I will be jamming the feed and replacing it with the NFL network. The only commercial on tv will be the Tebow commercial.
Next, I will send religious monks into NOW headquarters. The NOW is secular, so religious people showing up would freak them out. The monks will be equipped with a chalkboard, using illustrations to teach them how to take a vow of silence.
If I have to, I will order the monks to throw the flower petals at these women. The women might get injured upon being hit by the petals. Then again, some of them may swoon because they will see it as an act of love, the only time flowers have ever been near them.
At this point some feminists will claim that it is unfair to criticize all of them for the lunatics at the NOW.
Either people stand up and condemn the cancerous elements in their own movement, or they are complicit. Silence is acquiescence.
The solution is to reach a compromise on the abortion issue. Conservative pro-lifers should keep breeding. However, if a radical feminist gets pregnant (most likely through en vitro fertilization), and a crystal ball shows that the child will grow up to join the NOW, an abortion must take place.
Women who complain that I am trivializing a group that fights real violence against women can shut up and sit down. Until they care about honor killings in Muslim nations, they are hypocritical has-beens (oh wow, the 8-H Club).
Until then, I need to go to the hardware store. It is not easy to take broken flower petals and duct tape them together, but it will be worth it.
eric
The country (US) needs about 1.5m new jobs/year, to provide
for those entering employment.
Stats show that we are losing jobs through out–sourcing and
simply cost effectiveness to foreign countries ( Mexico, Egypt, India,
Chine, etc.). (Note: Toyota employs over 150,000 in this country, so
be wary of too many generalizations).
According to reports in the media, there will be a need for medical
personnel and services, including teachers ( many quit teaching
each year for greener pastures and no abuse from students).
When the Afghan, Iraqi thing is over with, the military will lose people.
They will go out in the real world and compete.
Civil servants will always be wanted..and pressure from the powerful
unions will insure their ranks are not depleted ( see NTEU’s pitch
always to outlaw govt outsourcing of jobs to private industry). Guess why?)
The Federal work force is between 1 to 1.5m typically..some years it increases, other years decrease. But, most jobs that were done by those
federal employees…are now done by civilians (to the chagrin of
the union heads).
In essence folks, there will always be a need for new jobs, like death
and taxes..you can count on it.
Soooooo, my theory is that if abortions are made legal from the get go,
in other words, from the very moment of conception, we will have fewer
people entering the labor force 18 years later ( give or take). The fewer
workers, the lower the need for their services. Get it.
There is a down size however. As the baby boomers boom into
their retirement years..more charity ( soc. sec., medicaid, medicare )
is needed to support their needs. That means the younger population will
have to pay a higher and higher portion of their benefits. Fewer
young people..you get the picture.
This is the bottom line: I am for abortion, for any reason whatsoever.
I know that Eric takes a neutral position..I don’t. I don’t want
unwanted children or children who will be a burdern on all of US.
I like the Chinese idea of only child per family, but don’t expect
the US to emulate this. People just love their little darlings..until
diaper changes that is..and they grow up and want that brand new
car and the freedom to screw in the back seat..thus the need for abortions.
Come on, I was a teenager once..and know the feeling and impulse.
The only person who should have a say so, about abortions, is the mother.
It is her body after all that produced the little darling. However, if we have to support THEIR children..we should have a say in all this.
Like the Israeli-Palestinian conflict (100 years) there are no easy solutions.
Of course the US/Russia could send a few marine divisions to the M.E.
and secure both Israel and Palestine..beyond adjustable borders ( widenened or narrowed based on violence, demilitarization, dealing
with a nuclear Iran, Arab neighborhoods in Jerusalem, Hamastan,
Hezbollah’s long range missiles, and the IAEAs enforcement against
Irans perfidy).
Then again, maybe Roe v Wade shouldn’t be changed..like our
medical system should be left alone.
Hey guys, hows about a Kaiser in every state..funded by everyone
to pick up those who don’t have, won’t have, or cannot afford, an HMO
or insurance? Or we could give charities a larger itemized deduction,
and increase the tax exempt organizations…(sort of like a credit).
All contrary ideas would be appreciated.
As usual, a conservative doesn’t understand the liberal point of view, but assumes they do.
1. Having a TV commercial that says to women, “Choose to carry your childt term,” is all well and fine. Having a TV commercial that says, “Ignore your doctor,” is just plain irresponsible.
2. The Superbowl should not be the place for political hot-button issues. It’s an American pastime that’s supposed to bring us together, not to start heated arguments over non-football nonsense.
JMJ
““Ignore your doctor,” is just plain irresponsible.”
She did not “ignore” her doctor. She was given choices and made one.
You guys are not that hard to understand. I know you’d love to claim the intellectuality is beyond us mere mortals. But you’re really nothing more than an over emtional bunch of victimization pushers.
Yeah well Jersey it doesnt matter how lame a Super bowl commercial is if it was for a car that wasnt totally earth friendly we’d hear about it the next day.
And if thats really the casethen get rid of the half time musicians geting up there and either rapping hate for Bush or singing the anthem
So lets keep super bowl ads about alcohol and sex. That should make everybody happy.
Toma
…a game within a game…keep the Bud bowl, but make them T&A friendly…simple.
Micky, the ad basically says, “Look at me! I ignored my docotor’s advice, carried to term, and my son’s a Heisman winner!” There are a lot of real stupid people out there, Micky, who just may get the wrong idea from that. Don’t ya’ think?
I’m with Toma and Eagle. Keep the ads football-friendly.
JMJ
JERSEY.
She didnt “IGNORE” her doctors advice. She heard it and didnt take it.
Learn the difference.
Thats like saying you ignored me because I asked you to vote rep.
You didnt ignore me just now, did you ?
No, you just decided my advice wasnt good enough.
She had a wonderful kid soooooooooooooooo…
be happy
You really don’t understand what I’m saying, do you?
JMJ