THE TYGRRRR EXPRESS

Today is Global Idiocy Wednesday.

While I am on a plane to Nebraska, I pray that being trapped in a cocoon of normal mid-Westerners will keep me safely sealed away from the stupidity that is enveloping the entire world.

I now get all of my news from the Arkansas Democrat Gazette, at least for one day. Several of their stories should be covered globally so the world can see what has become of us.

In Germany, a “Love Parade” was anything but. It was supposed to be like Woodstock except with music that may be even worse, unless one loves techno.

The Love Parade was held in an underground tunnel, since nothing says Love Parade like an underground tunnel. As expected, riots broke out in the form of a stampede. 19 people died and 342 were injured. The organizers of the Love Parade said it would never be held again.

The police chief presiding over the tragedy was Detlef Schmeling, who is most likely the athletic offspring of a gay German romance between Detlef Schrempf and Max Schmeling.

While the deaths are a tragedy, this entire episode was completely avoidable. As the song says, love hurts.

In Jordan, an activist named Amina Tarek was arrested in the town square when she showed up protesting, and dressed only in lettuce. Yes, lettuce. She wants Jordanians to “turn over a new leaf” and become vegetarians.

Given that Jordan is a beacon of human rights (spare me talk of how progressive they are compared to Saudi Arabia.), it makes perfect sense that a woman would have no other causes to worry about besides vegetarian lunacy. Perhaps if the police were to torture her in prison for merely being a woman and being outside alone, she may care more about the millions of Arab women living in oppression.

If she wants to care more about trees and animals than human beings, she does not belong in Jordan. She belongs in San Francisco. Actually, perhaps we can relocate PETA to Jordan. They can run around naked covered in lettuce. If they suffer violent consequences, CNN can always blame it on Israeli settlements. Perhaps this can turn into an adult video such as “Debbie does the Gaza (non-bacon) strip.”

In San Diego, Comic Con is a gathering of people who love comics. Like the Love Parade, it is supposed to be a peaceful gathering of people celebrating something fun. Instead, one man stabbed another man with a pen for sitting too close to him. In a disappointing insult to injury, not one comic book hero came to subdue the bad guy or save the victim. Batman, Superman, and the rest of the ilk are apparently make believe.

In Virginia, Senator Jim Webb made some provocative remarks about how diversity has marginalized white people. His remarks could have been worse, but the real surprise (when I say surprise I mean expected behavioral reaction) is the complete and total silence of people of all races. You see, Jim Webb is a Democrat. More importantly, he is a Democrat who publicly insulted President George W. Bush to his face. Therefore, he gets a free pass for any comment about anything.

Any Republican making such comments would instantly be Sherroded, which is like being an agricultural employee who gets cattle prodded.

In New York, Charlie Rangel is as entertaining as ever. I am withholding comments for now, happy to be a spectator.

Lastly, in Bell, California, top city officials came under fire for drawing salaries as high as 800,000 dollars. This led me to ask a question that is being asked all over America.

Where the heck is Bell California?

It is located in Los Angeles County. I live in LA County, and I still cannot ascertain where this place is.

The city is 91% Hispanic, which still does not tell me anything except that the media likes irrelevant factoids.

I have found Waldo with less trouble than Bell County.

I could make more of an effort, but somehow I think that if there is any reason to go there whatsoever, I would have already done so.

The people of Bell may be offended at my remarks, but why would anybody want to live in a town with a dirt poor median income being fleeced by city officials?

The only logical step for these Bell officials is to be promoted to the state level. California is broke, so being governor of the state would be a perfect match.

In honor of the people of Bell, I will eat at Taco Bell. Perhaps that will pour some residual funds into their coffers.

Whether at the national or count level, we get the government we deserve. As for Rizzo, I think he was one of the characters on the Muppets. I think he was in the band.

In Mexico, Jesus Quinonez was a law enforcement officer who was considered by a U.S. officer to be the go to guy for the Baja Attorney General’s office. He has just been arrested for helping drug traffickers. I love hearing about the great strides Mexico has made. Apparently winning the drug war means getting a better supply to market. If Mexico were any more corrupt it would be Chicago.

Ok, fine. I apologize for that cheap shot to Mexico. Chicago is much worse.

The Phil Collins song “Land of Confusion” sums it up.

This is the world we live in.

This is before even getting to problems in Afghanistan, upheaval at British Petroleum (not since 1814 has an American taken down a British institution), and an imbecilic media that is more focused on Hollywood celebrities acting like themselves.

The world is on fire, and people are too busy loving each other to death to notice or care.

I pray that my commentary on Global Idiocy Wednesday leads to Common Sense Thursday, but that would be about as likely as a naked Arab vegetarian moving to America, becoming Jewish, and cramming a burger into their mouth to prevent speech.

eric

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 28th, 2010 at 3:56 am and is filed under POLITICS. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.