THE TYGRRRR EXPRESS

Once again the Greeniacs are going beyond the pale of sanity and reason. Even, better, leftist groups that are normally natural allies are again fighting with each other.

Leftists do this because they have no uniting philosophy. They hate the right, but disagree why. The right has principles. We do not always obey them. We sometimes betray them horribly, but at least we have them. The left has only rage, which they turn inward when they run out of Republicans to abuse.

This is why animal rights activists and AIDS activists will fight because those against animal testing prefer bunny rabbits to saving humans from deadly diseases.

This is why these same animal rights activists compare the slaughter of chickens to the Holocaust, lynching, and slavery, enraging their fellow liberals in the Jewish and black communities.

The animal rights activists are now at war with the environmental basket cases. While I would root for both of them to lose, this time it is the Greeniacs who are wrong.

Before getting to that, a leftist environmentalist nutcase (redundant, I know) went bonkers after reading Al Gore’s book and went on a killing spree at the Discovery Channel television station.

Wherever you are on the political spectrum, is there anything more non-controversial than the Discovery Channel? The only Discovery Channel that could offend anybody would be the dance song of the same name sung by Bad Touch where the music video has them dressing up as Teletubbies.

(Irrelevant tangent: the lyrics are hilarious.

“Let’s do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about.”

“Love…the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket…like the lost Catacombs of Egypt, only God knows where we stuck it…”

“You and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals, so let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel…”)

Anyway, Al Gore wrote a book designed to appeal to lunatics. One of his loyal followers then went and shot people. Therefore, Al Gore has blood on his hands, and all of liberalism is responsible.

No…of course not. The guy was a lunatic. Al Gore is no more to blame than the kid who killed people after listening to supposed subliminal messages in Ozzy Osbourne music.

(In another irrelevant tangent, a hilarious bit over 20 years ago by Rush Limbaugh had him convincing people that he was given orders to do evil by listening to Slim Whitman records backwards. You only could hear the voices if you had the special…and totally fictional…electronic decipher machine known as the ‘disgronificator'”)

All I ask is that the left stop blaming Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, and every other conservative voice for “spreading hate,” and “fomenting violence.” This is nonsense.

The left is so much more vicious than the right could ever be because the right still refuses to grasp the depth of hatred the left has for us. We disagree with them as opponents. They loathe us as enemies.

If the Discovery Channel killer was a conservative, this would be broadcast ad nauseum. Yet because he is a leftist, politics somehow has nothing to do with it.

No rational person would blame Al Gore for inspiring death, unless somebody is listening to him speak while driving on the highway, which would result in falling asleep at the wheel.

(Another irrelevant tangent…I wait until I get home to listen to President Obama speak, and avoid sharp objects like table corners when John Kerry drones on.)

While individuals other than the killer himself are blameless, leftism does pray on people who love railing about injustices. When you believe there is misery and hopelessness, you are more likely to take drastic action.

The Discovery Channel killer was a lone loonie. Yet another issue has leftists at war with each other.

I would like to thank Mark Steyn for covering a story I had never heard about before. I knew Steyn was intelligent, but had no idea how funny he was. He is riotous, and has an odd fascination with Uighurs.

He does sometimes cover non-Uighur issues, and one of them is the concept of wind farms.

I personally think that Obama, Gore, and Kerry should just all speak at the same time in the same place. They are the leading citizens in the nation of Gasbagistan. They could power wind farms far better than any actual equipment.

For the uneducated or those living in denial, wind farms are a politically correct way of failing to solve our energy problems while giving the appearance of caring.

Liberals like Ted Kennedy praised wind farms while refusing to allow them in his area of Nantucket because they blocked his view. John Kerry probably supports wind farms because strong winds can help power his yacht. His yacht does not have a motor that runs on oil because he would be a hypocrite to have such a motor. Motormouth power can only go so far. Petroleum still works better.

I could care less about wind farms either way. I think liberals should be forced to move their hands like propellors for hours on end, since if they truly cared about saving the planet, they would do it themselves until their rotator cuffs no longer rotated.

Apparently wind  farms, while non-controversial to me, are upsetting to the animal rights activists. The wind farms kill birds.

That’s right. Those evil, compassionless wind farm supporters are murdering sweet little birds. The propellors of the wind farms are hacking birds to death.

Sully Sullenberger saved a plane from crashing when birds got into the propellor. Yet I am sure animal rights activists were heartbroken over the dead birds and cursed the survivors of the plane flight for their insensitivity. They can rest assured that other flights did fatally crash, providing some solace to the bird killers.

Steyn even gave the tragedy a compellingly heartbreaking name: The Condor Cuisinart.

The only solution for those opposed to the Condor Cuisinart is to storm the wind farms of America will all the fury and vengeance of a Discovery Channel killer.

These are leftists. This is how they behave. Condor Cuisinarts, Chicken Holocausts, AIDS sufferers being insensitive for wanting to live…it is evil, selfish human beings causing the problem.

The only solution is to have more of everything that bothers leftists.

The remnants of the Condor Cuisinarts must be put to good use.

Some of them should be barbecued. This will enrage vegetarians.

Others can be dropped on terrorists in the Middle East, which will enrage pacifists.

Some should be left in the blades to gum up the wind farms, ticking off the environmentalists.

The rest of them should be rolled up into the chicken equivalent of matzoh balls and meatballs and used by fraternity students to throw at leftists on campus.

(Irrelevant tangent: The movie PCU stands for Politically Correct University. In a great scene, the cool kids throw meatballs at feminist vegans from a highrise window.)

So for those of you who dare to attack wind farms, remember that they kill innocent birds. Therefore, they cannot be all bad.

Do I believe that?

Who cares? If it enrages liberals, it has to be good.

eric

This entry was posted on Friday, September 3rd, 2010 at 3:13 am and is filed under POLITICS. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.