A couple quick housekeeping notes. At 1pm today I am speaking near Oakland at the Alameda Fair Grounds at the Pleasanton Golden State Take Back America Rally. The crowd is expected to be in the thousands. I speak a little after 1pm. Then I hop on a plane to Orange County, where at 8pm I am speaking at the Young Americans for Freedom 50th Anniversary West Coast Gala.
http://www.pleasantonteaparty.com/
Now on to the main event.
Before getting to football, I would be remiss if I did not get to a story I have been meaning to mention for several weeks now before real life intervened.
A few weeks back was the 20th anniversary of “Quick Change.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quick_change
Long before Saturday Night Live gave us movies of heroism ranging from “Old School” to “Happy Gilmore” to “Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo,” there were the “Not Ready For Prime Time Players.”
The greatest of those heroes was Bill Murray.
When Michael Jordan retired from basketball, having accomplished everything, to play baseball, Bill Murray held his own press conference. He announced his retirement from comedy, having accomplished everything, to play professional basketball.
He did help Michael Jordan with the winning basket in “Space Jam,” but a knee injury prevented him from helping repeat as champions.
How could a man who gave us Caddyshack and Stripes possibly top himself?
Some people just get better with age. 1991 brought us “What about Bob?” Yet as good as that was, his finest comedy was Quick Change.
The premise is simple. He dresses up as a clown to rob a bank. He then tries to sneak out of the bank by pretending to be one of his own hostages.
His sole reason for robbing the bank is to finance his escape from New York City. He hates New York, and wants money to just live somewhere else, anywhere else.
As things go wrong, he looks at the New York sky, people, and surroundings, and says, “God, I hate this town.”
The first 20 minutes of Quick Change are Bill Murray one-liners in rapid fire succession.
Security Guard: What the hell kind of clown are you?
BM: The crying on the inside kind I guess.
Hostage negotiator: I’ll give you what you want as soon as you give me the d@mn hostages.
BM: I’m sure no harm will come to me when I’m all alone in the bank by myself.
Hostage negotiator: At least give me the women.
BM: Get your own women!
Geena Davis: I can’t believe you did this.
Randy Quaid: It was an accident.
Geena Davis: So was Chernobyl.
BM: True, but Loomis (Quaid) didn’t eradiate anybody.
Bank President: There is no way out my friend.
BM: Tell the hostage negotiator that in 15 minutes I am going to send your thumb through the night depository. Oh, and thank you for calling me friend.
Hostage: We’re all gonna die.
BM: Button it up pal, nobody likes a whiner.
Hostage: Let me go first. This is my watch, my gift to you. It is a 12,000 dollar Rolex but it keeps appreciating every day.
BM: Let me trade you. This is my watch, a Timex with the Twistiflex by Spidell. I appreciate this d@mn thing more and more every day.
Flight Attendant: Do you think you’re late enough?
BM: Oh, you must be from around here.
Hostage negotiator: Enough of your comedy clown, I’m coming in after you.
BM: Ok, I have to hang up now. I have to go kill everybody.
Hostage negotiator: I’ve had it up to here with your comedy, clown.
BM: I was in Nam with a jerk like you.
Jason Robards plays the exasperated hostage negotiator and police chief. Tony Shalhoub is hilarious as a foreign cab drive who keeps babbling about a “blufftooney.” The late Phil Hartman has a riotous cameo. A temperamental cab driver keeps sniping at people who do not have exact change or stay behind the white line, leading Bill Murray to say, “You better get some help pal. You’re becoming Ralph Kramden’s evil twin.”
Quick Change is one of the all time funny comedies of the last 20 years.
Bill Murray went on to more serious roles, but to me he will always be “Grimm” from Quick Change.
This movie should be mandatory viewing for all college students, and more importantly, to every New Yorker who has either escaped New York for a better quality of life (me!) or stayed in New York and bragged about their toughness while privately admitting the hopelessness of life there.
(This movie was made while David Dinkins was Mayor, but even Rudy Giuliani could not make the snow disappear in the winter, the construction jobs finish on time, or the cab drivers drive safely and speak in a comprehensible manner.)
Thank you Bill Murray. You are a comic hero for the ages.
eric
San Diego Chargers @ St. Louis Rams
(Chargers by 8, they cover)
Kansas City Chiefs @ Houston Texans
(Texans by 4.5, they cover)
Baltimore Ravens @ New England Patriots
(Patriots by 2.5, Ravens win outright)
New Orleans Saints @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers
(Saints by 4, they win but fail to cover)
Atlanta Falcons @ Philadelphia Eagles
(Eagles by 2.5, they cover)
Detroit Lions @ New York Giants
(Giants by 10, they win but fail to cover)
Seattle Seahawks @ Chicago Bears
(Bears by 6.5, they cover)
Miami Dolphins @ Green Bay Packers
(Packers by 3.5, they cover)
Cleveland Browns @ Pittsburgh Steelers
(Steelers by 13.5, they win but fail to cover)
New York Jets @ Denver Broncos
(Jets by 3, Broncos win outright)
Oakland Raiders @ San Francisco 49ers
(49ers by 6.5, they win but fail to cover)
Dallas Cowboys @ Minnesota Vikings
(Vikings by 1.5, they cover)
Indianapolis Colts @ Washington Redskins is the Sunday night game.
(Colts by 3, they cover)
Tennessee Titans @ Jacksonville Jaguars is the Monday night game.
(Titans by 3, they cover)
eric
How anyone can criticize New York (the 5 boroughs) is beyond me?
For those who have never visited or lived there, a few salient observations of the Big Apple.
New York, like Los Angeles County, is a city of minorities., but the demographics are different.
New Yorks’ 2m Jews (once giving it the title, The Jewish City, is now down to about 700,000. Many of these people are from Israel, Iran, Russia.
There are Jews of all streams, from Orthodox to ultra-Orthodox.
The city is really Italian, with over 4m. Italians are everywhere, American
Italians that is. They are on the Island in Queens and Staten Island.
They outnumber Puerto Ricans and blacks, the other two minorities.
St Johns is a major university and has a branch on Staten Island.
There are Poles, and Germans, and Irish of course, lots of Irish.
If we add Long Island, and upstate New York, there are more Irish.
Lots of Irish. One sometimes here a Mexican dialect.
In fact, Irish bars proliferate everywhere..and they come in handy
on a hot summer’s day. Then there is the Irish food, alongside the bars.
Mc this and Mc that.
Lots of doormen are Irish, as are the cops.
Blacks are also in various fields..and some are seen imanning the
transit ticket booths, and driving the trucks, I am not prejudiced, just
observant. Im notg including Harlem or Spanish Harlem or the projects
along Neptune Avenue in Brooklyn or East New York and Long Island City.
The Lower Eastside is now less Jewish (once having 500,000 of them).
Now there are Puerto Ricans, Italians, etc. A little furhter north toards
14th street, there are Poles, Swedes and Germans..and of course Little
Italy and Chinatown (Grand Street). Manhattan has 20m workers during the day, and 2.5m permanent residents. They travel by train and bus to work, from the outlying areas.
The Upper Eastside is different, lots of rich whites, especially the Protestants.
The Upper Westside has intellectual Jews..secular in the main.
But there is the 92nd Street, which is Jewish, and secular.
Charllie Rose interviews people there sometimes,including
German X Presidents.
There are several YMCAs, like the 42nd Street. I stay there
when in the city. Its cheap and well located to everything,
like the prostitutes near 47 and 51st streets and the UN, the same.
In fact, one can walk to the UN building.
There are lots of delis..Jewish and Italian and Nathans Hot Dogs.
The Eastside, along the Avenues have singles bars..hundreds of them.
I like Fridays the best., where you meet and greet girls from New Joisey.
I disagree with Eric on this one. I have visited New York City. lIf you
can survive the subways, baggage handlers at the Port Authority,
and other inconveniences, its really exciting.
It does get cold in the winter and hot and humid in the summer.
But so does the entire East Coast.
People in NYCity used to escape to the Catskills, with its open air
conditioning, the mountains, really the Aterondicks (spelling?).
The views are spectacular. The bus rides there clean and quick (Shortline).
I have taken the tour around Manhattan, once I took too much beer when being dehydrated. I survived somehow. There is a tour around Sheepshead Bay, Anyone heard of it, Its like San Francisco, w/o the hills.
Coney Island in the summer and fall is nice..but few rides remain.
There is a baseball stadium. Steeplechase was torn down years ago.
The beaches are nice, widened..the ocean is calm and great to swim in.
The hot dogs are kosher, the pizza good and the corn great (NY vegis
are better than California. Try the cheeries as proof.The soil there is
finer, richer, and more moist. Where there is soil. There are no
Palm Trees.
The view from the bridge to Staten Island is wonderful, exciting, but
not in the winter. Only the lights of Red Hook can be seen during a snow storm. The ferry is free. and you do get a view of Liberty Island.
There are rich and poor neighborhoods, with 40 story apt houses, and individual homes. and lots of civil service employment. Meg Whitman would not stand a chance there.
Jerry Brown would win in a landslide. No contest. So would Fiorina.
I like NYCity and the suburbs. They are really far more exciting than the Southland. And one can purchase a monthly transportation ticket using
the buses and subways 24-7. In fact, Times Square makes Hollywood Blvd look like a main street in Montana or Indiana or Nebraska. There is really no comparison. Yes, we have the Cinerama Dome, they have RCMH.
New Yorkers are smart people, quick in mouth and on their feet.
Dont slow down too long, or you might be trampled. Oh, the Indian food around 55th Street and Park Avenue is tasteful. There are Indians
and people from Pakistan, who are not killing one another.
There are Israelis and Arabs, lots of each..they dont communicate well.
Hmmm I wonder why?
But then again, they do not have I-5, jsut the thruways, which
dont have 12 lanes.
For those not sophisticated, the knishes there are great, as are
the Nedicks Orange juice. and ices.
The GTL’s NFL Picks — Week 6, 2010…
Previous Week (Week 5 (7-7) Year To Date: 41-35 All-Time (2006 Through 2010 Combined Record To Date): 374-230 Yeah, yeah, I know… another .500 (7-7) week — two in a row. “What happened to ya’, GTL?”, you might ask. Well, a…