The Chilean Mine Scandal

If even one person had died in the Chilean mine, this column never would have been written. Only because all 33 miners and every rescue worker is safe, can we go back to normal quickly.

(The miners should be so lucky.)

It is time to talk about the Chilean Mine Scandal.

I found out what caused the Chilean mine to collapse.

The truth must be told.

It was a conspiracy between Karl Rove and the Chamber of Commerce.

(Meanwhile, praise President Obama for single-handedly rescuing all 33 miners as he promised during his 2008 presidential campaign to earn Chile’s beta male of the year award, which he donated to fellow beta male Joy Behar.)

The pieces are all in place. Ignoring them is not acceptable.

The miners were Chilean. They speak Spanish.

President George W. Bush speaks Spanish.

President Bush’s top political director is Karl Rove.

There was even a meeting between George W. Bush and the Chilean president several years ago. Karl Rove was in the room.

Conservatives will insist that this was just a normal state dinner with another head of state, but that is what the vast right-wing conspiracy wants us all to think.

The president of Chile was in on it. He is a conservative. He and President Bush, with help from Karl Rove, plotted to have 33 miners trapped so that worldwide sympathy would allow a conservative leader to become a folk hero by immediately rushing to the scene. Fox News wanted to capture the footage of conservative leadership to prop up the right wing column, which I believe is the fifth.

(The same amendment many politicians invoke and the amount of gin they drink, but enough about the Kennedys.)

After all of the miners were rescued, the phrase “Mission Accomplished” was said by one of the Chileans. This was a coded message of support for President Bush.

So how does the Chamber of Commerce fit in?

This is so easy that I should not have to explain it.

What were the men rescued in? What was the cylinder device?

That’s right…a chamber.

What were the miners doing when the mine caved in?

They were mining.

Why were they mining?

It is their job.

What is another word for job?

Business…also known as…

Commerce.

What were the men mining for?

Copper.

What is copper?

A commodity.

What is another commodity?

Oil.

That’s right, Big Oil was behind this. Dick Cheney used to be CEO of Halliburton. Vice President Cheney answered to President Bush, who employed Karl Rove.

Karl Rove owns a television with a remote control.

(He could hire somebody to get up and change the channel for him, but he does not care about migrant workers and Americans won’t fill that job, so he heartlessly eliminates that job with a remote control that is every bit as destructive to human laborers as Eli Whitney’s Cotton Gin and Cyrus McCormick’s Reaper.)

His remote control is powered by batteries.

The battery he uses is Duracell.

(Even liberals are tired of that Energizer Rabbit.)

What is the nickname of Duracell?

That’s right. The Copper Top.

What was being mined in Chile?

Copper.

There you have it. A wealthy white conservative exploited third world Chilean Spanish laborers and risked their lives just so that he could have a working remote control battery so he could watch Fox News.

Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck were part of the conspiracy.

One could base it on their programs the last couple of days.

Some people will point out that for the most part their shows were preempted so people could focus on the miners.

That is what the Fox News personnel from Roger Ailes down to every intern wanted you to think.

O’Reilly, Beck, and Hannity deliberately engineered this story so they could take a day off of work to meet in seclusion and discuss top secret plans.

Fox News deliberately showed the miners as happy to be free and alive. This was a ruse. Karl Rove had the medical personnel on the scene give them sedatives. Some will say this was to calm them down and save their lives, but it was part of the conservative conspiracy between Rove, President Bush, and the Chilean president.

The workers needed to be happy so they did not become vulnerable to ACLU lawyers, personal injury lawyers, ACORN agitators, and “Workers of the World Unite” leftists. The drugs allowed the miners to engage in strong displays of patriotism, rather than rail against the big business people and others saving their lives.

How many Moveon.org workers were in attendance?

Zero.

How many people from the Huffington Post were in attendance?

Zero.

How many Daily Kos bloggers were there?

Zero.

This is because the Bush-Cheney-Rove-Fox News-Neocon Cabal prevented them from coming and helping. The right wanted total control of the news, so they made sure that only the “right” people were there.

The Chilean Mine Scandal is an outrage. I will not rest until Karl Rove is brought to justice.

Even his name is an acronym for evil.

The anagram for “Rove” is “over.”

Karl is short for “Kill All Raging Leftists.”

He wants to eliminate all leftists the world over.

(We may have to investigate all Karls, including Karl Karcher of Carl’s Jr. Burger Joint for deliberately misspelling his own name to keep people off the trail. Karl Marx may have to be investigated, except he may be deceased. Then again, the left wants us to think that. His spirit is certainly alive and well in the Obama White House.)

So Karl Rove did engineer the Chilean Mine Scandal.

The media will not cover this because they are too busy ignoring the Brazilian Macaroni Scandal that is so secret that nobody knows what it is yet.

All I know is that macaroni is often shaped like cylinders, which are chambers. They are often sold in boxes, which is a form of commerce.

The corruption never stops.

eric

One Response to “The Chilean Mine Scandal”

  1. Dav Lev says:

    I was admittedly shocked to hear Joe Biden the other day,
    justifying the Republican attack against the Chamber of Commerce.

    I really didn’t pay much attention knowing how Biden likes to blab,
    but it did make me sit up and watch.

    If I recall, the Chamber is accepting money from foreign sources.

    Since they wont open up their books, it must be true, and they are hiding
    something relevant to the US, if not to the election.

    A friend of mine is sending in his ballot soon. He will vote
    straight Democratic. He always votes straight Democratic.
    His mother was a Democrat.

    I told him I voted for Whitman and Fiorina. He siad he would vote for Meg. That she is a mean person, a ()&*)(. Why, caus she sent jobs overseas.

    When I asked him if he knew the reason why, or checked into the
    negative ads about her for their fact, he said “no’.

    Then I told him well, this is a very blue state, and you are in the majoirty
    of voters. But this time, around, there might be a miracle. Brown and
    Boxer may just lose.

    Hopefully, I am right.

    I then asked him about the 20b the State is behind, expenses vs revenues.
    He didn’t know what I was talking about. He did say that yes, there are
    hundreds of manufacturing plants owned by the US companies in Mexico.
    I said, more like thousands. and besides, look at Walmart.

    It is not a crime to own factories abroad. In fact, Americans are also
    employed here thanks to insourcing. ( Jobs due to foreign companies
    operating here).

    It like this, we swell them products, they sell us. We make products there, they make products here. Its a trade-off, and typically we benefit, in lower prices. Just go to Walmart, Target, Sears, etc., etc.

    A light went off in his brain, but too late to change his thinking much.

    3 years ago, I was at a Kroger Store, and asked an employee who she
    was voting for, She said, Obama. When probed, she said, “he will make
    things better”.

    Another person, whose relationship with me I wont discuss, said that if McCain wins, all my expenses will go up.

    Go up?

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