A Roly Poly Holly Jolly Chris Christie Christmas

He is big.

He is brash.

He is the King of New Jersey.

No, not Tony Soprano.

Not Rex Ryan.

Not even Bill Parcells.

The undisputed heavyweight King of New Jersey is Governor Chris Christie.


I love this guy.

In fact, I think we should rename Christmas as Chris Christiemas.

After all, even Jesus would have struggled to cut taxes and take on teachers’ unions.

It is one thing for Rudy Giuliani to take on the real life equivalents of the Sopranos. Chris Christie is taking on the teachers’ unions, which neither the Mayor of Gotham or James Gandolfini had the stones to contend with.

Not since I felt a Christmas song should have been resung as “Joey Chestnut roasting Nathan’s Hot Dogs on an open fire” have I been this proud of an American hero.

Rush Limbaugh refers to Chris Christie videos as “political pornography.”

To me they are digital crack. I could watch him slap down bureaucrats and teachers’ union thugs every day of the year and never get bored.





Pro-life Ann Coulter knows Chris Christie is pro-choice, yet she still praises him.

The reason why even the most rabid conservatives love a man who is basically a moderate Republican is because Christ Christie is what most politicians try hard to pretend to be.

Governor Christie is real. He is authentic. Jesus went looking for an honest man.

We found the guy. He is about 300 pounds, looks like a retired New York Giants or Jets tackle, and is tackling budgetary negligence and political corruption. He is taking no prisoners.

He is also fiercely loyal to his staff. While our current president shoves everybody under the bus, Christie actually preaches and practices personal responsibility. When a low level staffer made a mistake on one page of a one thousand page form, resulting in New Jersey losing millions of dollars, Christie refused to fire the person. He blasted the federal government for being unable to use enough common sense to see what the truth should have been.

So as we head into a holiday that is supposed to be about peace on Earth and good will toward men, I recommend we celebrate the pre-holiday by honoring the very best of American politics.

Let’s celebrate honesty, hard work, and loyalty. Let’s celebrate a man willing to end the corruption and bring accountability to government. Forget the man spewing hollow platitudes. Let’s celebrate the man of substance who says what he means, does what he says, and makes no apologies for being and doing right.

The left can continue to make fun of his weight. I say he should proudly declare December 25th in New Jersey to be XXX-MAS, and wear a 3X t-shirt to show off his girth.

Like Parcells and Ryan, people eventually don’t see a fat guy. They just see what I see.

They see a winner.

It is not about his weight. It is about the bloated bureaucracy and budgets nationwide. If Chris Christie can take a meat cleaver to both of those in his home state, the other 49 states will beg him to do the same across America. His liberal opponents will get lumps of coal.

Until then, I wish you all a Roly Poly Holly Jolly Chris Christie Christmas.


One Response to “A Roly Poly Holly Jolly Chris Christie Christmas”

  1. I love this blog, and I do get a bit of kick out of Chris Christie, however…

    “After all, even Jesus would have struggled to cut taxes and take on teachers’ unions.”

    No. He wouldn’t.

    Frankly, I was taken aback by this comment, because it went beyond humor – very funny stuff, by the way – all the way to theopolitics. Jesus avoided the subject of taxes, annoyed by it, according to the New Testament. There are references to taxes in the NT but they do not in any way suggest that Jesus “would have struggled to cut taxes,” especially when considering that taxes were far higher in his day than ours.

    Taxes, in that period of history, represented mostly pay-offs from small vassal states to empires, or were intraimperial, heavy on the peasant class for staples. The peasants paid the majority of the taxes, and times were very, very bad. On top of that, there were taxes to the local ruling class, duties, fees, tariffs, inheritance taxes (effecting much poorer people than today), land taxes, and on and on. In Israel, there was also a Temple-tax. Only in small, independent states, outside of that region at that time, were there low taxes, like we have today. The taxes on the wealthy were relatively negligible, though varying from place to place.

    And Jesus most certainly would not have fought against teachers unions. That’s just silly. I can’t imagine what you would cite from the New Testament that would suggect in any way whatsoever that Jesus would be against the teachers unions. It’s crazy, really.

    If Chris Christie can actually right the ship of state of New Jersey, then all hail the Chris. I guarentee you that baiting the teachers unions will not accomplish that. He’s making the same failed, stupid, pandering, wrong argument Republicans have been making in New Jersey since Tom Kean in the 80’s. New Jersey’s problem is “Home Rule,” not “State Rule.”


    There is a fortunate novelty to Christie’s plan, but as is well articulated in my link, it ain’t gonna do much. NJ’s problem is deep and cultural. The people there are going to have to wake up, not just sleep waiting for a savior. ;)

    The problem isn’t teachers. NJ has great teachers and great schools. The problem is that NJ has 1200 friggin’ government entities that suck every dime out of the people’s purse. NJ needs more and better paid teachers, not less and worse paid. NJ is a very expensive place to live, so for a teacher they need a reasonable, realistic pay just to live there.

    What NJ doesn’t need is 1200 friggin’ government agencies. It doesn’t need so many boards, and politicians, and these sleazy little “towns” that are nothing but commercial tax shelters just outside of real residential cities. Home Rule is what’s killing NJ, and today’s conservative is incapable of defending it or killing it. The conservative, in NJ, is useless. NJ needs a guy like the smart people of California just elected. I bet he’d kill Home Rule. Gotta love Jerry Brown!


Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.